Way to You (Four and Tris)
by Iris Molefoursted
Summary: "This one…" he points to the first gun branded as a tattoo on his forearm. "is you. Then this one…" he refers to the other gun. "is me." My lips curve into a smile. "What does it mean to say?" He inclines his head on my direction and locks his eyes on mine. "It means us… protecting each other…" and he returns the smile. "No matter what happens." COMPLETE!
1. Chapter One

**Hey guys! Iris here and this is my first fan fiction which tells about my favorite shipping, "FourTris". I think in that way, we share something in common. Also, that we both love the Divergent trilogy and of course, Ms. Roth. I'd like to inform you, before reading, that I will divide this story into 3 to 4 POVs (I'm not sure) but to avoid confusing you, of course, I'd put at the top whose POV is being told. Tris will be the one narrating at the beginning where she tells about her life after the initiation. There will be a twist in this story and that twist includes Four and that is what you're going to find out sooner. **

**So, enjoy reading! :D**

**-Iris**

**Chapter 1: It Began at the End**

**Tris' POV**

I cannot actually believe that few months have already passed since I chose Dauntless and left Abnegation. It just feels unreal and I don't know why although I can feel in my senses that a lot of things have happened during those last few months. One of those events was that the initiation was finally over yet we all remain here in the Dauntless compound. The only difference, I guess, is that there are no more trainings, well of course it's all done, no more simulation tests, and the other things that occur during an initiation. Perhaps this is the segment they call as **"do everything you want now you're free" **and I can't tell if I'm happy about that. Don't get me wrong. During initiation, a lot was going on. There was this "tension" that you call and there's always a scene, a happening that makes it all intriguing. However, as it came to an end, I figured out that there's nothing much thrilling except when I hang-out with my friends around the Pit, talk and laugh at them on breakfasts, and get adventurous as we go zip-lining. Also, I work on the tattoo parlor along with Tori and as we work, we exchange stories so we can avoid the boredom while waiting for a customer to come in. But most of the time, I only have four hours of shift then someone will replace me with the part. I will go back to my dormitory after the shift and lay on bed, and if I get really brain-dead, I'd walk over to the Chasm and be-friend the railing because I really just don't know what to do when I can feel my body eager to move.

Right now, I am feeling that way. My shift has just finished about fifteen minutes ago and my friends are nowhere to be found. I think Christina is at the clinic right now and I don't like the idea of coming over for I might disturb her. Besides, we'd see each other later. I've heard that Zeke, along with Uriah, Lynn, Marlene, and Shauna has gone to the zip line. They haven't waited for me anymore since they thought my shift will take more time. But that's fine. I'm not even that interested to come with them since we've went there just four days ago. I'm not missing it yet. Will, on the other hand, is probably at the clinic too, offering Christina some help. They've been dating for three months now and I honestly feel happy for the two of them. They look so good together and they appear to be lovey-dovey most of the time, not caring about what others may say. I guess that's what you call love. You won't give a damn about people think because you belong to each other and nobody can change that. I wonder when I can have that kind of thing that they possess. But why do I question it anyway? Will any guy like or love me? A short girl who isn't pretty at all? That's nearly impossible.

As I over think those kinds of daydreams, I decided that I might well go to the Chasm rather than just strolling around the Pit alone. It doesn't make sense, I realized. To stand by the Chasm might even hand me some company although I know, really, that I have nobody with me.

As I walk there, I hear a pair of voices that kind of sound familiar. I stepped more closely and the voices got clearer in my ears. A male and a female voice, talking, laughing, and giggling. I almost find it romantic. I don't know why. Then as I walked more, I finally discovered to whom the voices are coming from and what is currently happening.

"How about we stay in your apartment tonight? You know…we can…"

_**Eliza.**_

"I know. That sounds like a good idea."

_**Tobias**_.

And without allowing me to guess of what may happen next, he frames her face in both hands and kisses her. At first, it was tender. But as seconds go, it becomes deeper, making Eliza wrap her arms around Tobias' waist. The kiss goes more passionate. I narrowed my eyes, feeling a pang of pain which I cannot understand. Why do I care anyway? Who am I to feel this way, this jealousy? I am nothing but an initiate to him. Nothing else.

And it makes my stomach churn.

I'm about to turn away, leaving no sign that I've come and caught them _**flirting **_along the Chasm, but just as I'm about to do that, I tripped over a rock and it made a sound, assuring me that they've heard and now I'm dead.

"Who's that?" I hear Eliza asks.

I wasn't facing them. They can only see my back. So if ever they figure out who I am, I could just run and pretend that I didn't see anything and _feel _anything.

But just when I thought that I've gone nameless and that they couldn't guess who I am, I was wrong. Tobias might have considered my height and he must have memorized my back figure that he knows who I am even though I'm undisclosed.

"Tris?" he says.

"Who?" Eliza asks in a who-the-hell-is-that-girl-tone.

"Hey, Tris. Is that you?" I noticed that he ignored her question.

Panic covered me up. I want to run. Just run fast as I could but I feel like it wouldn't be a good choice. He has discovered me and I don't know how he did that but that isn't the point now. Should I turn around and face them or better escape?

I have no time to decide. So I just turn around.

I felt a twinge of pain again. And I really hate this feeling. I can't afford it. Tobias is holding her in the waist and they're both staring at me.

"Uh…I…" I begin to speak so I don't have to wait for him or her to ask me to explain what the hell am I doing here.

"I just came from my shift…at the tattoo parlor and I'm… I'm walking around, thinking maybe it can entertain me then suddenly… it happened that I walked the path here and saw the two of you… and I don't want to bother you but unfortunately, I tripped over a rock and… you guys were destructed."

Eliza raised her brows on me. What is her problem? Does she think I did that on purpose to stop them from their kissing ritual? Or does she suspect me to having feelings for her _**boyfriend**_? Which is… I think… is true and I hate it!

Four's lips formed into a straight line. It seems like he doesn't care at all, doesn't care about _me_. And why would he? He has a girlfriend and they sure love each other. I'm just an initiate, a Stiff, a small girl, _**a background**_. It's like we're in a movie, they're the couple, and I'm the annoying antagonist. Hmp. As it always turn to be.

"I see." That's all what he says.

Eliza still looks at me as if she's going to kill me. I didn't return the look. And I won't. Tobias will see, and it may just get worse. But if I only have the chance, I'd slap into her face that I'm not what she's thinking of and she doesn't know me, my life.

But rather than doing that, I just turned around, forcing a small fake smile, leaving them alone.

**I would like to share that writing this first chapter went off naturally. I didn't have so much difficulty on finding the words to say so I enjoyed writing it. And yep, Eliza is Tobias's girlfriend. But it doesn't mean that I'm taking Tobias and Tris away. There's a lot more to happen. :D So now I'd like to know what you think about my story. I'd highly appreciate any positive or negative reviews. Please let them come. I will post the next chapter, then. :D**

**Thank you!**

**-Iris **


	2. Chapter Two

**Here goes the second chapter. =)**

**Chapter 2: The Plain Truth**

**Tobias's POV**

"Who's that girl?" Eliza asks me when Tris has gone. She asked me the same question recently but I ignored her, my eyes were focused on Tris. And until now, my attention is still on the dark path, where Tris has faded. Abruptly, hands waved off in my sight, turning me back to reality.

"Hey, I'm asking you something."

I finally look at Eliza.

"What was that?"

She rolled her eyes. "I was asking you who is that girl."

My mind was back to the situation and I chuckle.

"I'm surprise that you don't know her. I thought you both work at the tattoo parlor. She's Tris."

Eliza raised her brows, crossing her arms and at the same time, smirking.

"The Stiff."

Right. The Stiff.

"My initiate." I say.

Eliza stopps smirking. If I'm not wrong, I think she put meaning to the way I said, "_my _initiate". I thought she will overreact with it since most of time she likes to take simple things too seriously but I'm astonished that she didn't.

"Okay… anyway, she's gone now." She uncrosses her arms and leaned closer to me. I know what she's wanting to do. She wraps her arms around my neck and is about to kiss me but before she can do that, I bring her arms down, trying not to be pesky, and says,

"Isn't your shift begins by now?"

She looks frustrated, turning her face to the right, at the water flowing through the walls.

"Yeah… right."

"You should go now. Let's just meet tonight at dinner. Okay?"

I try to sound like a sweet boyfriend sometimes but I always fail. I've been used to the voice of "Four" so even when I want to coddle Eliza, I just can't. My stern tone can't help but to function.

"Uh…no." she says.

I furrowed my eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I want you to fetch me at the tattoo parlor and let's go to the dining hall together. What do you think?"

I shrug. "Alright."

"Okay."

And for the last time, before she goes, she left a peck on my lips and touches my cheek.

"I love you." She says.

I nod.

She frowns.

"Tobias!"

I laugh. I knew it. She will demand. She always does.

"I love you, too."

When Eliza turns away and her presence fades, I stay at the railing for a few more seconds. I flash back to when we were kissing then all of a sudden; Tris came by and _caught _us. I don't know if there's something to be ashamed about but… I don't think that there is. Everybody is aware that I and Eliza are in a relationship. Also Tris. She does know that I have a girlfriend. However, what confuses me is the expression that she wore when she turned to look at us. I am not assured if I'm correct but I found a hint of… _pain? _But why will she feel hurt? As far as I know, she has never shown any sign of affection to me even during the initiation. The way she acts is the way she was brought up and the way she handles herself as Dauntless. Well for now I'm not certain but I'm kind of hoping that there is no one, aside from Tris, who's getting affected by the public relationship that I and Eliza have.

And speaking of Eliza… my girlfriend…

I also flash back to when she left a brief kiss on my lips and told me that she loves me, expecting me to say the same in return. She always does expect. When she says the words to me, she wants me to say it back but most of the time, she has to remind me or to play some clue that _hey, say you love me too. _

And as I walk my way from the Chasm to my dormitory, hands on my pockets, I wonder if I was sincere when I told her that I love her, too.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

When I refused to continue my way to the Chasm, I didn't know to what place I should go rather. The recent happening is still playing in my head and I keep on rewinding it although I don't want to. I don't want to because deep inside, I know that it hits me. No matter how I hate to admit it, it's pretty obvious in my face. I am frowning. But at the same time, my lips are pressed. _That girl. Eliza. _She's pretty, isn't she? Well of course she is. I don't think Tobias will date someone who isn't, with that, I might be right. Because if he doesn't give a damn about the looks, then he must have appreciated me or he must be seeing me as someone different now. But no. Initiation is over but I still remain as _an _initiate, _his _initiate. That will never change, I suppose.

I look at my clock. Dinner is near. Going to the dormitory isn't a nice idea. And most probably, coming back to the tattoo parlor is worse. I know, and I really am aware, that right now, Eliza's shift begins. To go there and be around each other will be awkward. Imagine. I just caught her and Tobias being lovey-dovey at the Chasm. Who wouldn't feel uneasy? Well perhaps, for her, it's nothing. I just remember how she looked at me recently. She wanted to swallow me.

Hands planted on my hips, I settled on _finally _coming over the clinic to at least, have somebody with me. Christina and Will. I just want to forget about what I saw although it keeps on playing in my head over and over again.

"Hey, Tris. Why are you here?" Christina asks as she labels some medicines on the table. She gives me a small smile.

I sit at the bench just near the table, and sigh.

"You alright, huh? You seem…"

"Ridiculous." I finished for her.

She chuckles.

"What are you saying? Are you… encountering a problem by this moment? Are you… sick? Having a headache? Or…"

I shut my eyes.

"It's… nothing, Chris. Just… tired."

I see that she rolls her eyes.

"Stop saying that, Beatrice Prior. You aren't tired. I've always known that people who insist that they are tired are those people who're facing a setback. So tell me. What's bothering you?"

I look at her, her eyes telling me to share it. And she's my best friend. Why shouldn't I tell her?

"Okay," I say, sighing. "Do you have any medicine for a broken heart?"

"What?" she says, laughing. "Medicine for a broken heart? Are you serious?"

The door near the refrigerator clicks open. Will comes out, carrying a tray of syrup bottles. I think the room he came from was the room where they keep the groups of medicines.

"Oh, hi Tris." He says when he sees me.

I forced a smile. _Again. _

"Hi."

"Here're them." Will says to Christina, putting the tray on the table.

"What brought you here, Tris?" he asks.

"Uh… Zeke and the others are away. I haven't made it to the zip line trip."

"Liar." Christina says sharply on my way.

Always a Candor. Always can tell the truth behind lies.

"You're here because you're broken hearted."

"Oh stop it Chris!" I say, sounding like a child. I don't like it.

Christina laughs.

"Broken hearted?" Will echoes. "To whom?"

"It could only be… Four." Christina sounds sure. She raised a brow on me like she's stating the line, **"Try to lie you, Stiff. I got you." **

"Four?" Will echoes again and I had to roll my eyes. "You like him?"

I almost jump from my seat. Why are they cornering me with these questions?

"O-of course not!" My voice is trying to defend. And I have to defend myself. Although truly, their words match with how I feel right now.

"Oh c'mon, Tris, you're really not good at hiding the accuracy. No wonder why you kicked Candor out of your aptitude test."

I turn my eyes from her, feeling like… Oh I don't know what I'm feeling. She must be right.

"Fine," I say, like I can't find any other excuses. Christina is a Candor, always going to be Candor, and I, always cannot deny a fact to her face.

"It's true. Y-you-are both right."

I feel shy. Yeah, It's just Christina and Will, and they're my friends but… Will is a guy. It makes me feel anxious.

I turn my gaze back at them, my eyes calm. They don't seem surprised. I wonder why. Do they know?

"What?" I say, when the silence goes long.

"That's not very surprising, Tris." Christina says.

"Yeah… doesn't seem much."

I furrowed my eyes.

"You knew?"

"Duh, Tris." Christina says, tapping the table with her fingers. "Forgot that I can read people well?"

"So you're reading me?"

"You're not that hard to read. I frequently see you staring at him, at Four. Yeah… maybe you try to seem nonchalant at times but… it doesn't work out sometimes. It's impossible for people to hide their emotions or their feelings if a person, a _particular _person has an effect on them, on _you_. Therefore…"

"You like him." Will finish for the two of us.

I bow my head, feeling a bit embarrassed. I wonder if it's not only Christina and Will who find me obvious. What if Tobias find it obvious too? And Eliza. What if she's already accusing me about the same thing and sooner or later if I still play apparent, she might do something to get it all done.

Oh…whatever. I'm not scared of her. She's just a girl. Just my co-worker at the tattoo parlor. As if she can kick me out of here, and as if she can kill me with her eyes trying to murder. That won't happen.

I lift my head and look at Chris and Will again. Christina continues on labeling the medicines while Will is looking for a drink at the refrigerator.

"Uhm… Chris? Will?"

"Yeah?"

They look at me.

"It's just a secret, okay? I don't want anyone else to know."

Will smiles. "Of course. Boys know how to keep secrets too…well…some of us."

Christina rolls her eyes and smirks at me.

"Your secret is safe."

**Thank you for the encouraging reviews! They inspired me to write this chapter. The third chapter will be coming. :D **

**Again, THANK YOU! **

**-Iris**


	3. Chapter Three

**Hello there! Here's the third chapter for YOU. :D Hope you enjoy reading! **

**-Iris**

**Chapter 3: Shifting Eyes**

**Tris' POV**

"Finally, I'm done." Christina says, breathing in then out. I move my eyes from the ground to the table. The medicines and syrups are arranged in order. Then I look at Christina, checking it all again, surely not wanting to get it wrong.

"So… few minutes before dinner. You done there, Chris?" Will asks.

Christina doesn't answer. She's focus on the medicines. But as soon as she's done, she turns to Will and says,

"Done."

"Let's go, then?" he inquires. "Are Zeke and the others here already?"

I realize that he's asking me.

I woke myself up from my thoughts.

"Uh…I don't know. Maybe they'd arrive in moments."

Christina picks up a few folders from the table and that is when I and Will get signaled that it's time to go.

Xxxx

"Okay so… let's talk about it, Tris. Do you want to?"

"Talk about what?"

"Talk about 'who' sounds betters, I suppose."

Will just walks with us, not saying anything. This is more like a "girl talk" actually.

"Not here. Someone might overhear."

"Oh," she says, raising a brow. "Like who? His girlfriend? That _pansycake _brunette?"

Although I intend to be serious and flashing back to what I saw at the Chasm, I couldn't help but to laugh at Christina's use of the offensive term. But then, I stop myself and try to murmur instead.

"Shh, could you please lower your voice? I swear if someone hears us, it's your fault."

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I'm just saying the truth."

"You always do."

As we continue to walk on the way to the dining hall, we suddenly hear a pack of voices coming somewhere in the Pit. It must be from the Pire.

"That was fun, isn't it?!" I hear a female voice.

"Oh yes it was only if Uriah didn't try to scare the hell out me." It's Lynn. It's easy to recognize her by the way she delivers her words.

I hear a laugh. "So you were scared? Thought you're Dauntless."

Uriah.

"I could only swear. I'd also attempt to _kill _you while you're on air."

"Kill you? I wasn't attempting to kill you."

The voices get nearer.

"Save it, Uriah."

"Hey hey stop you two. It's a great day after all."

Right. It's Zeke.

I observe around. Shadows are coming. Then I see Marlene, her figure familiar, followed by Shauna, Lynn, then the brothers.

"Hey guys, there you are!" Uriah says when he sees us.

"Hey," Will says back. "How was the zip lining?"

"Aw," Marlene says, lifting her shoulders. "As it always is. Thrilling. You three should have come."

"Yeah. It'd be better if we're complete."

Christina shrugs. "Well…unfortunately, there's work. Maybe next time."

Some of them just nod.

"So where're you heading at?"

"At the dining hall. Dinner, right?" Will says with a smile. His smile is warm.

"_Oh_… just the good timing. I'm hungry now."

"Me too." Shauna agrees, looking at Zeke.

"Then we better go there all together. Come on!"

"Yeah yeah let's go!"

Xxxx

We are in the same table that we always sit at during initiation. I have beans and a Dauntless cake on my plate. As they talk about the happenings at the zip lining trip, I'm just quiet, busy with my food. _Too busy, _in fact, that it's like I'm in somewhere else and I can't relate with the conversation.

Suddenly, someone elbowed me.

Uriah.

"Why so quiet today, huh?"

I try to light my eyes a little. Even just a bit. It might convince him that I'm alright.

"Uhm… guess it's because I haven't come with you so I don't want to say?"

He chuckles.

"That's fine. Next time it's going to be all of us."

I'm surprise that he didn't doubt. Unlike Christina. If she's the one I tell it to, she would probably say, "Oh really?" or "Get to the point, Tris." And I'm glad that Uriah isn't like that. You know…sometimes I'm not in the mood to answer consequences of questions.

Uriah goes back to the zip lining discussion while I go back to my plate.

I want to talk, in point of fact. I don't want to keep my mouth shot for a long time and my mind stick to one thought until dinner is done. And still, that thought is about Tobias and Eliza. Ugh. Why can't I just stop thinking about it? It just seems…illogical. I don't have the right to get jealous. I better stop. But I can't. Oh…I must try.

But how can I try? How, _really_, if when I'm just about to do it, the door flew open and someone comes in.

This is not good.

"It's the couple." I hear Marlene say.

Yeah. Right. Who else is the couple here aside from Will and Christina?

I try not to look. I shouldn't look. I shouldn't play obvious. Especially now that all my friends are here. Take note, only Will and Chris are aware about these insane feelings of mine. Not Uriah, Zeke, Lynn, or anybody else. I have to be an actress right now. Even just for _right now._

Christina elbows me.

_I know, I know, I know!_

"You okay, Tris?" she asks, trying not to sound loud.

"Of course I am." I say, almost a whisper.

I expect her to say, "Oh of course you're not." But she didn't. She might have let it pass since she knows that this is not a good scene. Not at all. Tobias and Eliza sits side by side and I can't breathe. I told myself not to look right? But what can I do? Their table is just on the opposite of ours. Tell me how to do it.

"Is she alright?" I hear Will asks Christina in a murmur.

"Uhm…she says she is _but_… oh never mind."

"Maybe she wants to leave this place for a while?"

_No, I won't. I think I want to but…no I won't. It'd be stupid. If I get out of this hall, they will wonder why. __**Tobias **__will wonder why. I don't want him to. I don't want __**Eliza **__to. Therefore, I'd act normal. I must._

I look at them, striving not to be caught. Because if they catch me, oh someone please save me.

Eliza whispers something to Tobias and he leans closer to hear her. Then he laughs. And she laughs too. They look so…happy. It's breaking me apart.

Tobias turns his eyes on her. Their faces are seal like they could almost kiss. Eliza has that smirk which I find flirty and I can't stand seeing it. I go back on looking at my plate. Just looking. I thought I love the cake but when they came in, I lost my appetite.

"Hey," someone says. But I don't know if it's referring to me. "Hey, Tris."

Me?

"Uh…yeah?" I say, looking for the person who just called me. It's Shauna.

"You're staring onto a dream. What's up?"

"N-nothing. Just…thinking. I'm okay."

"You sure?"

Her question makes me shiver. I keep my body still when she turns around as she asks that. She must be looking for a clue. _A clue. _She wants to know to whom or to what am I staring at. To confuse her, I shift my eyes to the door. And just when I do, it flies open again.

This time, it's Peter and his…_pansycake _friends. Drew and Molly.

I bow my head. I've memorized him already. I've memorized _them _already. Once I get their attention, it's mine all along.

And I've never been wrong with that.

"Oh look," Peter says, his voice teasing. "The Stiff's eating a cake."

The dining hall is an enclosed place and his sound is apparent enough to be heard that makes Uriah and the rest stop talking. They all turn to him.

"How does it taste, Stiff? Heard that people like you considers eating that kind of food is self-indulgence. Can't resist it?"

Drew and Molly laugh. They're the only who did. Oh…no. Maybe not just them. I stare back to Tobias and Eliza. I found a hint of laughter on Eliza's face.

I don't say anything. I want to but I'm not in the mood to do so. I just stay at my seat and continue eating.

"The Stiff's gone deaf? Don't have anything to say, huh?"

I told my tongue to hold it. Just don't mind them. Play vulnerable, play unaffected, and they might stop.

The line sounds familiar.

Of course it is familiar.

I remember.

It was Tobias who told me that before. I always recall his advices. I might follow them by this moment.

Peter, with Drew and Molly remain standing there. I think they wouldn't sit at their table without having me say anything back. Let them stand for a longer time. I would be attempting to keep my mouth shut.

Peter taps his foot.

"I'm waiting for your response, Stiff. I'm surprised that you're just quiet. I'm not used with it. You thinking for a good change?" He laughs.

"You better shut up, Peter. Mind your own damn business."

I look around the table. It was Uriah who defends me.

"Are you just going to stand there, huh? Move on. She won't say something. She is not stupid to waste her saliva to a coward like you."

Christina's words are frank. No doubt. It's in her nature.

I glare at Peter.

"Really she won't speak? Let's see. Because she seems angry now."

_Hold it, Tris. Just hold it. This is not the good time to lose it. Just hold it. Just—_

"Maybe you want some punishment regarding of bullying?"

Another voice. Another shield. I remain silent.

"If you won't shut up, you'd get what you deserve."

_**Tobias**_.

I know. I know his voice. I've always known it. He uses the sound of Four, the instructor.

Peter laughs. "I don't care. At all. Just to piss her off, I don't care."

"Just get your ass on a chair and shut your mouth." Tobias says it prickly.

"Fine, fine…" Peter says, waving his hand. And as they continue their way to their table, he laughs again. Drew and Molly join him.

"Next time, Stiff."

I'm still glaring at him. My words won't come out right now but maybe a look can kill him…somehow. How I wish stares can kill. How I wish.

But when I shift my eyes from Peter to the other table…I found Tobias.

And suddenly, I have to bite my words back. Now, how I wish stares can exchange thoughts that can be understood so Tobias will understand how I am feeling.

I meet his eyes, he meets mine. It's been a couple of seconds and I feel a lurch in my stomach. I want to look away now. I _have _to avoid his gaze. But I can't. His eyes are just…beautiful.

"Hey…" a female voice says to him. Eliza, of course. She leans on his shoulder and in one blink of my eye, his stare isn't on me anymore. His attention goes back to his girlfriend.

"Let's go…now. To your apartment." I hear her say.

I'm waiting for Tobias's response to that, however, I see Peter stand up from the corner of my eye. He's about to go to the refrigerator. Going to grab some drink, probably.

But as he makes his way there, and my eyes focus to him, it surprises me that he abruptly stumbles to his feet and almost loses balance. Drew and Molly rise from their seats, wanting to assure if their friend is okay.

His face turns a little pale, I notice. I think he thought that he's going to actually fall. That scared him. I realized it.

I hear Zeke and my other friends bite back a laugh. And I did too. He deserves it. But he deserves something more.

Peter turns to his back and sees us resisting some laughter. He glares.

"What?"

We don't say anything.

"What?!"

I finish my cake. I don't look at Peter. If I do, I might burst into laughter and they will join in with me. It's going to be a mess.

But I still lift my head.

And I found Tobias's stare again.

This time, we look at each other for a longer time. And it makes me peel off what do his eyes want to say, want to emphasize. He's delivering a message. I have to get it.

Then he looks away.

I look at Peter.

He still glares his face still white.

I finally understand it.

I look at Tobias again and recall the way he looked at me.

He tripped him.

He tripped _Peter. _

_**For me. **_

**It goes off like…when Tris looks at Tobias, he'll catch her looking so she'd look away, pretending she's looking at something else. Although deep inside, part of her is tearing apart. **

**Anyway, have a nice day guys! I'd be working on the fourth chapter soon. Always smile! =)**

**-Iris**


	4. Chapter Four

**Good day! I just have a brief message forALW4who was wondering if Tobias and Tris went to his fear landscape during initiation, if they had a relationship previously, and if Tris is still afraid of him. I cannot explain it all here in the author's note so I decided to emphasize the twist in this fourth chapter. I hope this chapter will provide you some of the answers. This is for everyone. =)**

**Enjoy reading!**

**-Iris**

**Chapter 4: If You Only Knew**

**Tobias's POV**

"Put all your eyes away from me." Peter says with anger in his voice, his hands on a fist. He didn't realize it was me, right? Because if he did then he must have pulled the hem of my shirt for a fight. But instead, he remains standing there, at the center of the dining hall, catching his breath.

I played it well.

Soon, when he's standing straight on his feet again, he continues his way to the refrigerator and gets himself a drink. Everyone in the room begins to ignore him, then, even me and Eliza.

"Don't you want to go to your apartment yet?" Eliza asks, insisting me to join here in getting out of this place. She remains leaning on my shoulder.

"We came here to eat, right? We aren't lasting here for five minutes yet."

"But I changed my mind. I realized that…I'm not hungry at all. So come on," she demands, her voice sounding like a little girl asking her Dad to buy her a doll. "Let's just go and get out of this place."

"Eliza, no." I say, allowing my "Instructor Four" mode work. "We must eat. You don't want to starve for food at the middle of the night."

She don't say anything. She just shakes her head on my shoulder and I know that I win.

I left her for a while and get us some food. When I go back to her side, we begin. She's also trying to start a conversation with me, the kind of conversation that couples usually have, but I find myself not paying any attention to everything that she says. As an alternative, I catch myself stealing stares on Tris who's on the opposite table with her friends. I gaze at her for so long, so long that eventually, I feel something in my stomach that I can't explain.

She's laughing. Laughing while listening to something that Zeke says. Then they all laugh together when Zeke finishes his line. He must be telling them a funny tale, or a joke. Tris is so entertained that I wonder how could she just forget about Peter and the bully that he did to her recently. And most especially, I question the most, why does it seem like she isn't aware that I'm the one who tripped Peter? Didn't she get my message when we looked at each other? Didn't she understand what my eyes were trying to say that now, all she does is to have fun with her friends? Didn't she just—

Great. I feel unappreciated. Looking at her right now tells me the fact that she didn't care about what I did. She didn't care if tripping her enemy is equal to defending her in her behalf. Have she forgotten that Peter and Drew along with the one she considers as a friend, Al, attempted to kill her that I had to save her? Just great.

"Tobias?" I hear a voice say.

But I am absent-minded, my eyes on Tris who, by this moment, is talking to Christina.

"Tobias!"

I shook my head and turn my head around quick. Eliza is raising a brow on my way.

"What?" I ask.

She presses her lips. "All this time that I'm talking you aren't listening? Are you trying to make me look like a jerk here?"

"N-no…I'm just thinking about something else."

"What something else?" She's curious.

"Uh…I'm thinking about the…the next initiation. I-I'm wondering how will we make it all through. Just that."

I realize she seems a bit convinced.

"Kay," she says, turning back her attention to her food. While I…I turn my eyes back on Tris.

Xxxx

Later, when I and Eliza finish our dinner, we begin to walk out of the hall and walk along going to my apartment. She gathers onto my arms as we make our way and it's pretty obvious that she wants me to coddle her but I don't.

"So…what do you want to do tonight?" she inquires.

"What's a good idea?"

"I don't know that's why I'm asking for your opinion. Uhm…you want to lie in bed? You know…we can just talk about stuffs and…_cuddle_."

"Cuddle?" I chuckle.

"Why?" she leans back, searching for my expression.

"Nothing. Well…if that's what you want."

She kisses my cheek. And I know what's coming next. She releases herself from my arms and pulls me against her, too fast, that I have not protest when she fits her mouth to mine. I don't want to frustrate her either so I just wrap my hands on her waist and kisses back.

But all of a sudden, we are interrupted.

I'm a little glad that we are.

"_Four_," it's a familiar voice.

I pull away from Eliza and turns my head to see that Lauren is standing few inches away from us.

"Oh, hey Lauren. How's it going? I didn't see you at dinner tonight."

"Yeah, I know," she says, crossing her arms. "Eric is really…annoying sometimes, isn't he?"

"He's always been annoying. But you have to adapt if you don't want anything else."

She inhales then exhales. "I just hope I can do that some more. He called me this afternoon while I was having a perfect time for relaxing and you know for what reason?"

I slightly furrow my eyes. "What?"

"Just to help him in the control room to manage the cameras and the files needed for the next initiation where there's going to be a new batch of initiates. Will you believe that? The initiation is not that near yet! Why does he hurry?"

"Too early." I say, my hand on Eliza's waist. "And how did it go? Have you finished helping him?"

She brings down her arms from her chest. "No. That's why I left already."

"Why so?"

"Because he's also asking for your help."

"_My help?_"

"Yes. Your help. He told me what once I see you, I must inform you that he needs you at the control room tomorrow night."

I put my other hand inside my pocket, and turn my head at the right, exactly at a wall.

Eric's not too excited to scare the hell out of initiates again, isn't he? If I'm not mistaken, that is his favorite part during initiation. Frightening people. Threatening people. Seeing people down, weak, and in agony. But whatever it is that he wants from me, I must go and meet him, then.

"So I'll see you around, Four. I must fetch myself some meal now."

I nod.

She turns to Eliza. "Hi…by the way."

Eliza just smile a little, probably annoyed when Lauren interrupted us. She finds things like this senseless and that's always been an attitude of hers.

Once Lauren passes our way, we prolong to my apartment.

In there, Eliza keeps my arms around her. She plainly doesn't want any other interruptions or commercials. I know what she does want right now and she's going to do something to have it.

Like what she did at the hallway, she pulls me against her and wraps her arms around me, kissing me with hunger afterwards.

I don't hesitate. I put my hands around her waist and kisses her back deeper. She starts to walk backwards, taking me with her, taking ourselves down the bed. She falls her back on the sheets first then I follow on top of her. She deepens the kiss and I just let her.

But as our zealous kiss goes on, I had the urge to pull back in a sudden and I saw frustration in her face that she tries to pull me again but I refuse this time. I rose from the bed and shake my head. I don't know what's getting into me.

"What is it?" she asks, her voice not concern but rather curious.

I don't response immediately. I just stand there, my hand on my forehead, and I shake my head again.

"This is…unfair."

"Unfair? What do you mean by unfair?"

I look at the ceiling for a few seconds then attempt to look back at her.

"You _don't_understand."

She narrows her eyes.

"I really don't understand you. Can you please tell me what is going on?"

I shake my head again in negation. "I won't. This isn't the time."

Before she can reply, and before I can feel much more bother, I just reach for the doorknob and leave her inside the room.

I decide to go to the Chasm.

I need a time alone.

Xxxx

Eliza is my girlfriend. She's been my girlfriend for _two years_now. But I don't why the realization is late to hit my senses. Just when we fall to bed earlier, I remember that she doesn't know everything about me at all. She has no idea at all. _At all._

It was two years ago. I and Eliza are in the same class in the initiation. On the first stage, which was the fear landscape, I got ranked first and she was ranked sixth. People call me with nothing but not until my instructor, Amar, found out that I only had four fears and so he began calling me as "Four" and everybody figured out why so they joined with Amar calling me by that name.

I never tell anyone about my real name and the true story behind it. I have trust issues since then and I'm very careful with the people I choose to trust. Then as weeks pass by, I've been close with Eliza and we immediately had a growing relationship. We became a couple. And wanting to be fair with her, I earned so many guts to tell her about the story why I left Abnegation and what do my fears mean. She knew about the beating that Marcus did to me, the trapping in the closet, my fear of heights, and of killing a woman I didn't know. When I didn't see anxiety in her expression… I started to believe that maybe I can trust her, my girlfriend.

But then…just a while ago, at my apartment… I don't know what's wrong. I suddenly feel like something is wrong.

Eliza.

She…

She has not gone to my fear landscape yet and we've shared a lot already. We've shared stories and secrets to each other. We've made bonds together. But…isn't it strange that I haven't let her see my fear landscape yet then _yet,_she's my girlfriend and we believe that we _trust_ each other?

And stranger thing about it is that…

I didn't let her go through it but I _did _allow _Tris _to do so during her initiation.

Primarily, the reason why I allowed her was because I wanted her to have a glimpse of how a fear landscape looks like once they get to the third stage. I wanted her to learn, even just a few things, about overcoming fears when she's on an actual scene already. But although I try to make myself suppose that that is the only reason, I find myself lying. I know that there's so much more than that. Why will I let her come with me inside my fear landscape if Lauren was willing, in her behalf, to permit the initiates to come in hers instead? Why will I? Lauren was so assure that I will _never_ let anyone undergo my fear landscape. But still, I did. And I did it with an initiate whom I just met and I didn't with my girlfriend whom I've known for two years already.

That's what bothering me.

I'm not sure by this instant that I'm leaning against the railing if I'm right with my instinct but my instinct is that…apart from getting Tris ready for stage three, I also _trusted _her. I trusted her more than I did with Eliza. I trusted her with my own being, and I go confuse as I think about it now. We've just been friends when we went in my fear landscape. We have just built a _friendship _by that time when I rescued her from Peter, Drew, and Al. That was where it began. But I don't know what made me trust her that way and what made me think that I was right for letting her in. Maybe it was because she didn't see me differently? Or because she didn't say anything against what she knew about me?

But nonetheless, it still happened this way: I tolerated an initiate, a _Stiff, _to come up to my fear landscape but I didn't tolerate my own girlfriend.

I just _told _Eliza about my life as a kid. But I didn't _show _her how it went like. Eliza just _heard _the details about my life. But she didn't _experience _it with me. There's a large difference.

And now, as I watch the water hitting the rocks, I wonder if my decision of giving Tris the privilege to be in my fear landscape _is_right.

You know why?

Because ever since the initiation has come to an end, I noticed that something has changed on her. She rarely says "hi" or even just give a simple greeting when we meet at the hallways. I noticed that she's trying to ignore me and I can't figure out why. Then just this afternoon, when she caught me and Eliza kissing, I saw a type of face expression on her that's hard to explain. I tried to read her but she must be trying hard to hide an emotion. And just this night during dinner, I did something to _at least _secure her because I knew that she wanted to hold her tongue but then, it seemed that she didn't appreciate it at all. She just sit there and talk and laugh as if what I did harmed her more when actually, it was like she won because Peter went pale and appeared to be scared to death. A kind of thing he never wants anyone to see.

I can sense that something must be wrong.

Tris must be hiding something.

For now, I don't know what it is. But I have a feeling that it has something to do with _me_.

**I hope you understood what I was trying to highlight in this chapter. =) But to give further information, I'd like to add more:**

**Yes, Tobias and Eliza met two years ago, during their initiation. When they got together and earned each other's trusts, they began sharing secrets and Tobias decided to tell her about his childhood but_didn't, ever_, allow her inside his fear landscape. So to speak, Tobias and Tris didn't have a relationship during Tris' initiation but they were friends. It also means that after undergoing Tobias's fear landscape, their kiss at the chasm (which was truly written in the Divergent book) didn't happen in this story. That is the_twist_that I'm_making_. Now, on the fifth chapter, I will let you all know about Tris' point of view about the same thing, and you'd find out about her own_fear landscape._That is where you'd learn if she's still afraid of Tobias or not.**

**I'm sorry for a long author's note. =) But I would be glad to know what you think about the twist that I'm making. =)**

**Thank you!**

**-Iris**


	5. Chapter Five

**Like what I said, on this fifth chapter, you will learn about Tris' point of view about the same thing Tobias was talking about: His fear landscape and his and Tris' encounter through it. On here, you will figure out, also, if Tobias still scares Tris. **

**Happy reading! **

**-Iris**

**Chapter 5: Maybe I'm Fragile **

**Tris' POV**

I wake up the next morning, feeling dizzy. My eyes feel heavy and at the same time, I think I have a headache. Last night I couldn't sleep. There are a couple of things running in my mind, happy and sad, and part of those thoughts was my family. I wonder how Caleb is right now and since the last few weeks. Is he just okay at the Erudite headquarters? Does he feel homesick _too? _Because I, I've been feeling that way a lot of times this month that I desire to visit our parents on Abnegation. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be valid even if initiation is over. Also, they might not let me pass, and Eric might consider it as escaping. So for the better, I just decide to stay here and make it enjoyable as possible.

I rise from my bed. I look around and see that Christina and the rest have dragged their selves out of their bunks on time. But then, ever since initiation was done, there were no more tight rules on what time should you wake and what time you should be ready. I woke up a little late today but I have nothing to lose. My shift at the tattoo parlor begins at 1pm at the afternoon, and by this minute, my watch says it's only 8am.

I change onto a black shirt, a pair of jeans, and a pair of shoes that matches with my shirt. Once I'm settled, I walk out of the dormitory and go to the dining hall.

I'm greeted by sounds of laughter's and conversations and they are familiar to me. There I see my friends on the same table as last night and when Will sees me from the entrance, he waves to me and says, "Hey Tris join us here."

I smile and do so.

I sit beside Christina who greets me with a grin. She's in black like but hers is not a shirt but rather, a sleeveless top. Moreover, I detect the necklace that she's wearing that I didn't see her wear yesterday. It shows the letter, _"__**W**__" _which could only stand for, "Will". Will probably bought it for her at one of the shops at the Pit. How sweet.

"How are you feeling today?" she asks as she reaches for a plate on the table.

"I'm…I'm feeling a little dizzy since I woke up. Not so well."

Next, she puts scrambled eggs on the plate and reaches for a spoon afterwards.

"Eat these. You may feel better after you do. Feed your stomach, Tris."

I nod. I actually don't like being treated like this, like a kid, like I can't get myself a breakfast but at the same time, I don't have much energy to do it for myself. So I just ignore it and do what Christina told me to do.

Feed my stomach.

As I eat, I can hear Uriah telling a story and hears Zeke's name involved. I bet he's talking about a part from their childhood as brothers, and it must be hilarious because Marlene laughs her butt off and so as the others. I just listen to them while I'm focused on eating. I wanted to laugh with what Uriah has just said but I think it'd be awkward to suddenly burst in. Who wouldn't want to laugh? He just said, "and then there was this girl who confessed that she likes me. But I don't like her. And I don't want her to expect something from me either. So to give her a reason to be turned off… I told her that I'm gay."

_Ha-ha. You're so funny, Uriah._

I lift my head from the plate to the walls as I chew. Thinking again. I just can't avoid it.

Then as my thoughts go deeper, I'm awaken by the middle. My eyes leave the walls and move to the door to find Eliza walking in_…__**alone**_.

Did I just see it right? She _is _alone? This is new to me. She never walks in of the dining hall alone, just never. She and Tobias are together everywhere, every time, even during breakfasts, dinners, as in every time. But where is him? And why does she seem unhappy today? Her face is combined with different emotions. I can spot anger, confusion, frustration, and hurt. Did they have a misunderstanding?

And do I have to know?

"Impossible. Eliza, alone?" I recognize Shauna's voice.

"I bet they argued." Marlene says.

I shift my eyes to them, and Marlene catches my look.

"Do you have any idea what happened to them?"

I didn't have a chance to look away before she can ask me. And why does she ask me? Like I know why? And like I _care_?

"Well I…I don't know."

She nods. "Something must have occurred."

"Let's just don't mind about them." Lynn. I agree with her. We shouldn't just mind about them because whatever it is that they argued about, it's their problem, not anybody else's. But still, part of me _wants _to know.

Before we can go back on our own business on a particular second, something catches our attention again that make us more curious. I guess I always am curious especially when there's really something strange and you're dying to know about it. And right now, that's the type of curiosity that I feel.

Tobias walks in. Just few seconds after Eliza. I expect him to surprisingly walk towards Eliza and give her a hug from behind but as I wait, nothing romantic happens between them. Eliza just stands by the refrigerator, most likely looking for something that's fast to eat, while on the contrary, Tobias sits at the same chair he sat at last dinner. Again, I anticipate that Eliza might sit next to her boyfriend right after she gets herself food but for the second time, my prediction is mistaken. She just got herself a piece of bread and without a word, leaves the dining hall.

I look at Tobias. His hands are folded on the table, his eyes focus on nowhere. I'm making guesses on my mind on what did go wrong between the two of them but as I do that, and as I continue to stare, I couldn't deny how handsome he looks. He's been prone as an intimidating and cold instructor and sometime before, during initiation, a lot of us, the initiates, find him scary. It was like when you don't get to shoot a gun right or throw a knife well, he's going to shout on you. But that was my thought at first. He proved me wrong, then. He isn't like Eric, I realized, because Eric is brutal with no any other touch of kindness. But Tobias… he has something more. He _is _something more. It's just that…

I don't think he also sees it.

"I'm thinking about what happened."

I quickly move my eyes away from Tobias and reallocate them to Christina.

"Do you think he's upset?" I know I sound stupid but I just can't help but to ask. And I know that Christina can tell it. She can read people very well.

She observes Tobias for a second or two. That's all it takes, and she already know it.

"I think something is bothering him."

"What made you say so?"

"Well…see it for yourself. Look at him."

I did. I did look at him. He's staring onto nothing, his hands still folded, and then he clears his throat. What is it that makes him act like that? I just find it strange. Last night, he and Eliza went out of the dining earlier than us. I stole a glance at them and Eliza was creased on his arms and they were giggling as they take the exit.

Then _this? _

Tobias is suddenly aroused. He separated his hands from each other and leaned his back on the chair, trying to relax. Lauren comes in and sits across from him.

They begin to talk. With what I can see, Lauren is raising questions about the current situation. About him and Eliza. Lauren seems worried, I can read it on her face, and it's just her right to worry since they've been friends since their initiation, and it's just appropriate to see that Tobias opens his mouth to open up to her. I focus on his face. Right now, I couldn't eavesdrop to what they are discussing but perhaps examining his expressions can help me tell what has gone misunderstood.

I continue to watch. And as I do, I hope to God that neither from the two of them will catch me looking. But instead of having anyone of them catch me, I am surprised that it is me who catches Lauren gaping in my way, on _me_.

_**Me?**_

What about me?

Did I do something? Am I the reason? Why so? I don't think I—

I get it.

Lauren wouldn't look at me that way if I'm not involved. Also, Tobias wouldn't murmur something that will make Lauren take her eyes off of me. I could only guess that what he whispered was, "Don't look."

Now I have a theory. I've formed a theory.

That the reason why they are avoiding each other is because Eliza thought I like her boyfriend and has a plan to steal him away from her, and Tobias found it odd because he doesn't know anything about the truth, and then they argued all over about it, and here is the outcome.

Xxxx

**Eliza's POV**

If I could just move my shift earlier or later, I definitely will. It's 1 in the afternoon, and my work begins. Tori is the first one that I see when I approach the tattoo parlor. In any minute, I am sure, the Stiff will come, and I'm not ready to get pissed off. I'm facing two dilemmas right now and she wouldn't like the idea of being the third. First, Tobias has gone confusing last night. He was bizarre and just left me sitting dumbfounded on his bed, twisting thoughts about what is it that interrupted on his mind as we lie down. Second, he _won't_ tell me. I don't have any damn idea of what is it in relation to, and he even told me it isn't the time yet to let me know. Couldn't he just please be straight to the point? Because this is what I hate the most. Not being aware of what is going on around me.

The moment I walk to my usual place in the tattoo parlor, the Stiff comes in.

I ignore her.

"Hey Tris," Tori greets with a grin.

Tris. Whatever. Yes I know her name but I won't call her with it. "Stiff" sounds and suits her better…for the worst.

"You're still here? I thought I should be replacing you by now." Stiff says.

"Yeah, that's right. I just had three customers during the last five minutes so I wasn't able to fix my things on time."

"Oh. I see."

Tori turns away and picks up her bag on a chair. She then glances at me and smiles a little, then look at Tris with a bigger smile and say, "I'll see you around, Tris."

I roll my eyes in a way that they cannot see. People are really two-faced nowadays, aren't they? I don't even have a friend in this parlor. I've had one before, named Desiree, but she left for her factionless sister so they can be together. Now, I'm stuck between the only two girls remaining in the job. Then yet, none of them passes my terms. I don't like the two of them. I just don't. Especially _that _Tris, _that _Stiff. I feel my blood rising whenever she's near or whenever I see her. Sometimes I just want to shut my eyes and see no more sign of her when I open them, and sometimes I just want her to quit this job so we don't have to share the time of shift anymore.

Soon, Tori leaves. Now, it's just me, the Stiff, and Bob, who's few inches away, practicing new tattoo patterns.

The Stiff finds herself a seat. She grabs an album of tattoo outlines and studies them one by one. I bet she wants to learn all the designs that I've already known for a year. She's just new to this. What a loser. My blood is rising again, and although I can just see her from the corner of my eye, I can't resist feeling irritated. I remember her interruption to me and Tobias at the Chasm last night which was a very _bad _timing. Then at the dining hall, Tobias didn't have to defend her from Peter since she has her friends who can do that for her but he still did it. I'm hating it. She's just an initiate, was just a former initiate of _him_, so there has to be nothing special about her and I hope that there is really not.

If she ever tries to stick around me and Tobias, and plans to take him away from me, she must take note that I will be her worst enemy.

I put my attention apart from her eventually just when I felt someone's presence from the entrance. She didn't look at the door; just continue on examining the tattoo album.

A customer has come.

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

Darkness fills the hallways as I am striding to the control room. When I look at my watch, it says that it's almost ten p.m. and I don't understand why Eric chose to meet me in the middle of the night. But good thing, before I decided to assemble with him, I've already ate my dinner. Eliza didn't come, and I didn't think of approaching at the first place. We've been ignoring each other since morning with the reason that I made last night. She must be dying to know what struck into me that caused me to act differently, and as long as my mind is not yet clear, she wouldn't know about it. I also didn't think that today was the right time to discuss it with her. Perhaps she's also doing some thinking, and she does need it, so I shall give it to her.

On the other hand, I'm also _trying _not to communicate with Tris, even just stares, there were nothing. Because whenever I see her, I feel a mixture of sentiments that could make me insane anytime. Well…maybe I am insane. But the only idea that I've come up with is to avoid the two of them at the same time so it wouldn't get worse, and before it can have a chance to be so, I must fix it up already.

I enter the control room. I don't have to knock anymore since I and Eric have the highest positions in this compound, not to mention that he is the leader, and I am the instructor.

"You're ten minutes late." Eric says, not looking at me, but on the computer monitor.

"Does it matter? I'm willing to come here anyway."

He raises a brow but still didn't flash me a look.

"Really…why are you willing, then?"

What a weird question.

"Let's say it's because this appointment has something to do with the next initiation and I need to be involved?"

"Exactly. But other than that, I'm really finding a hand from you as essential."

Finally, his eyes left the monitor and moved to mine.

"I've been thinking that maybe we should check on the cameras located at the ceiling corners at the hallways. I mean…those which are near the dormitories. I and Lauren were done with the rest last night. I had to make sure if they're still working because I want a closer view of every new initiate's action once we all begin again."

Of course. Eric wants to be keen about each initiate. He wants to keep his eyes glue on each of them, and I thought maybe there's nothing to lose with that. It might also help in everyone's security.

"Now I get it." I say, sounding normal. "You want to do that stunt by this time of the night so that everyone is asleep and you can accomplish it better."

"_We_," he says, correcting me. _"We _are going to do it. So if we're just going to chit-chat here for five minutes more, we'd carry out nothing."

"So tell me what your scheme is."

He taps his fingers on the desk where the monitor is settled and moistens his lips.

"Here's how it will go. I will watch here in the control room as you tour on each camera on the hallways. Of course, in order to be certain if a camera still does work, you'll need to step on a ladder and examine it. If it needs to be tilted to have a clearer view, then do it. If the position is just accurate and there is no any change to be done, then just observe if the lens are still valid. I will see you in _this _computer. Therefore, I prefer that you must make some gestures, even just a few, like waving your hand three times so I can assure if there are no breaks in your actions. Once you're done with all the cameras, come back here and we'll talk."

"That's all?"

"That is all. You could begin now."

I already turn away, the task on mind, my strategy on hand, but before I could open the door, Eric calls out my name and I look back at him.

"By the way, I forgot that I must aware you that once you're exposed of this room, I will switch on the cameras. Therefore, you'd see a yellow light flickering on each which means I'm already watching. Got it?"

"Got it." I say.

And I walk out.

Last time I checked, the wooden ladder was near the dormitory of the Dauntless-born initiates. That is why I go there first. However, even when I'm just few feet away from the dorm yet, I cannot see any sign of the ladder. I walk closer to see through the darkness, thinking maybe it was only covered by the black shades, but it isn't there anymore. It's gone. How come? Before I reached the control room, I passed by that dormitory and it was there. Someone possibly got it. Now I have to look for it.

Instead of turning back, I continue. It could be at the Pit, or anywhere else, wherever is it, I will be searching.

The yellow light that Eric was talking about appears in my sight as I pass by each wall. Right now, I suppose, he can see my actions and he must be wondering where I am going.

I'm almost near the Pit. I'm down to the last hallway of the dormitories, in fact, when unexpectedly, I hear a creak somewhere. I search for a warning around; foreseeing that I will meet someone, or _danger_. Then I hear the creak again, only that it's louder this time. My ears analyze where does the sound comes from until they hear them again and I have to follow the noise.

I don't watch my path as I walk. I focus on searching, on waiting to hear it again.

Until it repeats and this time, it feels like I'm nearer to the sound.

Really, I am near.

Because I am here.

Eventually, I reach the place where the eerie sound is coming from and I'm actually a bit surprised with what I've found out.

"What are _you _doing here?" I say, bypassing "hey".

Her body goes stiff, her hands on the railings, and the rungs carrying her weight that makes a screeching sound. Has she gone deaf and didn't hear me? Because she didn't turn around for a second or two.

"Did you hear me or you didn't, _Stiff_?" my voice is firm.

She slides down a hand from a railing and looks over her shoulder. Even in darkness, her blue eyes glow and her blonde hair visible. Also, one of the ravens on her collar bone sneaks through her black shirt. She doesn't seem surprised to see me.

"What are you doing here?" she asks it cynically.

I let out a harsh laugh in return. "Didn't I ask you first?"

"Yes you did but why do you care? Leave me alone."

She rolls her eyes and goes back to what she's doing. I observe her before speaking again. My eyes widen.

_What on earth is she doing? Is she out of her mind?_

At one second, she's looking at the lens of the camera on a corner. Then the next thing I know, she's inspecting the back of the camera. Did she hear my and Eric's conversation at the control room and planned to get here first before me? Why would she do that?

"Would you please bring yourself down?" I demand.

She ignores me.

"I said, get down."

Just when I say that, I realized that it's like we're back in her initiation. It's like this is all happening _again._

_The Ferris Wheel._ That was the night when I've faced my fear of heights to help her in figuring out where does the other team hides their flag. Suddenly, it feels like we're present in that scene again.

"Don't tell me what to do and what not to do." She says. "I have to find out why does this camera flickers a light. I thought cameras will be turned off when initiation is done? Then why is this open? Something must be happening."

I lift a hand on my forehead. She's always thinking of hazard. If she only knew. If she only knew that I am here for that camera.

"Nothing is happening, Tris. So you better follow me and get your feet on the ground."

"Will you please stop—"

"I _am _your instructor."

She scowls. "Not anymore. And I'm not your initiate anymore. I will do whatever I want and this I do because—"

"Because you have no idea that I'm supposed to be the one in your position."

She narrows her eyes in disbelief. "_What_?"

I roll my eyes. "I don't know why you are still awake, Tris, imagine it's already ten p.m. midnight? You must be on your dormitory now, and I must be the one climbing in that ladder because I have a task to do. So if you don't mind, just get down. You don't want to fall on your butt."

She presses her lips. She doubts me, I know. I thought she will protest some more, and if she does, I have no other choice but to bring her down the ground myself. But thank God, I don't have to anymore. A few seconds after I told her my purpose, she holds onto the railings, without a word, and begins climbing down the steps. I watch and wait.

"Careful," I say, almost a whisper.

She's on the eighth step. Her moves are cautious as I told her to, yet she's not that close to the ground thus far.

When she's about to step on the seventh rung, I think she fails to hold on one of the railings, and the other one who was her only chance, isn't stern around the other railing. So when she's about to take another step, she loses balance and slips her feet on the rung that she's just about to reach, and I felt my body shaking, cold, and running swiftly to catch her on time.

But instead of having her fall right on my arms, she launches against me with such force that we both fall hard on the ground, our eyes closed, our lips _met._

Did I just…feel it?

I felt it.

It wasn't an imagination. Her lips touch to mine, and it was real.

_It was real._

_A peck._

My back hits the ground but I don't care. It doesn't even hurt. I slowly open my eyes before Tris can, but I just when I thought that her eyes are still shut, I am wrong. Her eyes are big and they're staring in mine, which, of course, were also surprised but I don't show it. I play nonchalant.

I feel my hands are around her waist, and she lies on top of me with her hands settled on my chest. For an instant, none of speak or made a reaction. We just lie there,eyes glued to each other, bodies against each other.

Then all of a sudden, the realization hits me.

_Crap._

I remember.

The cameras are open, are _all _open. Eric is at the control room and he is watching.

_**He is watching.**_

And I, with Tris, is lying here on the floor, and we kissed…by accident.

_Eric saw it. He saw __**all **__of it. _

He must be laughing right now, I know. He must be enjoying what he watches. But I don't want to pull away yet. I don't know why but I don't want yet although I know that Eric can see us.

I look at Tris. Her eyes are less wide now. But across the dark shadows coming from the night, I can see that her cheeks are red.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

_No. This. Couldn't. be. Happening._

_But…it just did._

But why am I not pulling away yet? I have to pull away now! _**Now!**_

I take my hands away from his chest and help myself to stand on my feet rapidly. I rub my shirt although I know I didn't get messy for I landed on him, but that is the only way I know to hide my trembling.

Yes, I am trembling.

I feel anxious.

I keep a distance between us as he rises from the floor and rubs the back of his shirt.

He looks at me after, and I see worry in his eyes. He probably noticed that I'm shaking.

"Tris, are you okay?"

I don't answer. My heart is beating fast—_so fast_—and when he tries to take a step closer, I cannot breathe well that I have to make a way backwards.

He furrows his brows and I see a hint of pain in his face but I don't have time to wonder why.

"Why do you look so…scared?"

_Scared? I'm scared? Why am I scared? Why do I—_

"Scared," I say quietly. "Scared."

"Hey, Tris… are you hurt? Do you want me to—"

"No," I protest when he tries to step closer again. "Don't come. Just…don't."

And before he could say anything else, I begin running. I don't know where should I go but it doesn't matter for now. I just need to run. Run as fast as I could; run until I can't see a sign of him anymore. _Run, Tris, run!_

I find another way to my dormitory. Luckily, I did. Because I don't think the Chasm will be a good place. He might find me there, and there's a terrible event that happened there that sometimes still haunts me like a ghost.

I enter the dormitory. Everyone is on dreamland. Uriah sleeps with an arm beneath his head, Zeke clutches to his pillow, Christina's face is covered with the strands of her hair. If I stay here, they wouldn't be awake. I wouldn't bother them.

But I abruptly feel my cheeks hot. _Oh, no_. I'm not going to cry. Why will I? Because what? Because I'm scared? Because—

I feel tears stream down my face. I toddle towards the mirror on the wall, near Lynn's bunk, and I wipe them away.

_Why are you crying, Tris? Have you gone crazy?_

Maybe I am. I just ran away from Tobias, I just left him behind, left him dumbfounded. All because I'm scared, scared, and scared!

He doesn't know! **He doesn't! **

And I never did tell him before. During my fear landscape, he didn't have a chance to figure out why Eric and the other Dauntless leaders were laughing as they watch me. He didn't know, and I didn't want him to.

I didn't want him to see me a coward, a foolish person, a _little girl_.

I didn't want him to laugh at me just because I'm afraid to be with anyone, to be touched, to be kissed, to be… I can't. I just can't.

If he knew about it, he would possibly find me pathetic especially because he has a girlfriend.

Right. A girlfriend.

Eliza.

I stare at myself at the mirror, my cheeks traced with tears. In Abnegation, we aren't allowed to look at our reflection. If I will, I'd only do it once in a day, or most probably, in a week. But I'm Dauntless now. And no one can see me crying by this moment so I'd just let myself put it out.

I feel bad for Tobias. At the same time, for me. A pang of guilt. It's covering my body, my being too much that it hurts. Tobias gave me permission to enter his fear landscape during my initiation. I knew about the story why people call him "Four" and the beating that Marcus did during his childhood. I _knew_. But what did I just do recently? I _ran_. I left him. He has no any idea why am I scared, and to _what _am I scared at the first place. But is there something to lose?

Is there really something for me to feel guilty about? Is there any if the only reason why he let me through his fear landscape is because he was my instructor and because he was my instructor, he had to do that as a part of his job? That's just it. Who am I in his life to have the right honor to know about his childhood? I'm pretty sure Eliza got through it first before I did. Well of course. She's his girlfriend. They love each other. Tobias _loves _her. There's nothing for me to feel special about because even if I got to see his fears, I cannot change the fact that Eliza's the first one who overcome it with him. There were different motives for the two of us. Tobias let her see his fear landscape because she's important—so important—while Tobias let me see it because I'm an initiate and it was part of being an instructor.

More tears come after I thought about that.

I touch my lips. I flashback to the kiss. It was _just_ a peck, I know, but it was _still_ a kiss! It still happened! And I… I can't take it back. And I don't know if I regret but…what scares me more than anything else is that maybe…

Maybe he was right.

**YES, YES, YES Chapter 5 is done! I began writing this by 4:40 pm, few minutes after I arrived from school. Then I just finished and it's already 11:20 pm. But fortunately, tomorrow is Saturday, no school! **

**And if you can notice, among the five chapters, this one is the longest. Probably, also, the chapter I've put much effort and focus. **

**What do you think about this chapter? What is your favorite part? Mine is when Tobias caught Tris on the ladder and the rest that happened after it. What's yours? =)**

**Thank you for reading! **

**-Iris**


	6. Chapter Six

**A/N: First of all, I want you to know that I've been feeling grateful since I posted the first chapter six days ago. It happened that I woke up by 3 am in the morning while I'm in a middle of a dream then I checked my phone to see if I got reviews and I did! So first, my mouth fell open and I was like, "Really?" and a curve of smile flashed on my lips when I read them. I'd like to send you ALL my big THANK YOU for your feedbacks that keep on encouraging me to continue. **

**Smile to someone today. They say it's a powerful thing.**

**Here's the sixth chapter for all of you, I hope you enjoy. **

**Chapter Six****: ****For Tris**

**Eliza's POV**

I'm at the bathroom of my apartment, right in front of the mirror, combing my hair. Today, again, I'm going to the dining hall alone. Although I don't want to eat breakfast there, I will still go. Just to see if Tobias will come. Just to see if he's coddling with another girl, with that _Stiff_.

I really hate her. And I think that's obvious. Tobias is mine, just mine, and there shouldn't be any other girls going between the two of us especially that now that we're avoiding each other since yesterday morning. I put down the comb. Does he have a plan to talk to me, to clear things out with me? Or we're just going to stay like this forever, unless he doesn't tell me what's bothering him?

I cross my arms. That can't happen. If he won't make a move, then I'll do it. But of course, I wouldn't force him right away to tell me what it was all about. As _a_ girlfriend, I'd try my best to understand him and to give him time. If I nag him too much about it, we might fight over it and we're going to avoid each other again.

I walk out of the bathroom. When I click the door closed, I hear a knock on the entrance door.

Who could that be? The only person in this compound who knocks on my door is Tobias. How possible is it that that could be him if we haven't talked yet?

But…_what if? _What if he went here so we can converse about it?

Excitement fills me up. I don't care if I'm wrong but I'm too confident that I'm right that I run like a little girl through the door, and open it with a grin.

I'm correct.

Tobias stands before me on a black shirt, denim jeans, and a pair of sneakers with the same shirt color. His eyes were back to normal—the way they look at me—is the same way they usually do. Maybe he couldn't stand us being apart. Maybe he misses me. _He really just must miss me, duh. _And maybe he realized that he cannot live a day without his girlfriend.

"Eliza," he begins to say. But before he could continue with his line, I interrupt him by claiming his mouth to mine. I pull him with me inside and he stumbles but that didn't stop me. My hands are framing his face, but he doesn't put his hands on my waist like what he used to do. Instead, he carefully pulls away and my name is the first thing that comes from his lips.

"I came here to talk about the other night."

"I know," I say, "so go on, tell me about it."

"I apologize for acting strange in a sudden and leaving you understanding nothing from me. I want to tell you what it was about but I just don't think it's the right time."

"I know," I say again, my hand on his cheek. "And I won't demand for it. I'd rather wait for you to be ready."

I place a kiss on his lips.

"I also have something to apologize for. I'm sorry for ignoring you the whole day yesterday. For just passing by you during breakfast and leaving the dining hall without any consideration. That was stupid of me."

He chuckles, and I'm glad to hear it again.

"Let's forget about it."

"Right. We should forget about it."

He nods with a beam.

"Let's go eat breakfast together?"

I return the smile. "I'd love to." And I kiss him again.

Xxxx

We enter the dining hall, holding hands, side by side. Everyone is surprised to see us back together although, really, we didn't break up. We never will. We just had a misunderstanding but that's fixed now. And by "everyone" I mean, the Stiff and her friends. I smirk at her when I and Tobias find our seats. So she thought we can't resolve our problem and she can finally flirt with my boyfriend? In her dreams.

I and Tobias get a plate of cake. We don't need two plates for the two of us since we just like to share in one plate like what other couples do.

I lift a fork of cake and ask Tobias to open his mouth.

"Hey, take this."

He obeys and eats the cake from the fork that I hold. I laugh when a piece falls to his shirt and he laughs too.

I steal a glance on the Stiff and I catch her looking. I see her frowning and look away swiftly. I want to laugh in victory.

Tobias does the same to me. He slices a cake on the plate and lifts the fork to me. I open my mouth with no hesitation, eat the cake, and kiss him afterwards. I look at the Stiff again. She isn't staring anymore but she looks pale, like she's overcoming a predicament. Well I don't care. I'm just doing the right thing: making her jealous as she faces difficulty.

"Where are you going after breakfast?" I ask as I get another piece of cake on the fork.

"Eric will be needing help at the control room so I have to get there after this."

I raise a brow. I'm not that interested with the work they do. "I see,"

"How about you? Where will you be at?"

"At the tattoo parlor. I have an early shift."

I lift the fork again and he eats the cake on it. "Okay, I'll see you this afternoon, then."

"Okay…but I wish we don't have to be apart."

I lean in closer, stealing a quick look at the Stiff again, and how great to know that she's staring in our way, in _us_. This is a perfect time to kill her with envy.

I fit my mouth to Tobias and kiss him with desire, and he kisses back. _Great_. _Just keep watching, Stiff, just keep watching. _We stay like that for a longer time and I don't care if they can see us. So what? We're a couple, and it's just usual for a couple to make out, even in front of many people.

Too bad for the Stiff.

Because she won't be able to experience something like this.

Because the only boy that she wants to be with is _mine_ and he'll never be _hers_.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

What a nice way to begin my morning.

To kiss in front of me.

To be mawkish at a place where I am also at. It's like Eliza was doing it in purpose at the dining hall. It's like she wants to slap in my face that it's only her and Tobias and there will _never_ be anybody else…which, of course, is true, and it's breaking me to pieces. How can all of these come together at one point? Just last night, I'm crying about the fact that Tobias doesn't know anything about my fear landscape and why did I run away from him like a scared little girl, then this morning I will just suddenly find out that he and his girlfriend are already okay and make out in front of me and the cake like they're saying, _Stay away you Stiff. You don't belong._

I know it, okay? I've _always_ known it. But neither them doesn't have to smack it in my face because I _know!_

And knowing it makes me hurt.

But as much as it does, I don't want to show it. I don't want to seem wretched, and paint it all over my face. Despite of the pain, I must play laid-back and just act like the "Tris" that they knew. And I hope to God that I can make it until the new batch of initiates come, until the day when I'd find out that they're getting married, and until they have kids.

I feel a needle pinch my heart.

When I'm done with my food, I rise from my seat. Christina looks up to me and asks, "Where are you going?"

"I have a shift right after this but…I'm thinking about taking a nap first. I'm still feeling sleepy."

Christina looks at me with doubt. Of course she doesn't believe me. Her eyes tell the obvious that she knows the real reason why I'm going to walk out of here. But she doesn't protest. She doesn't say, "You're lying" because she knows enough that staying here for a longer time will only bring more ache to me.

"Okay…" she says. I see understanding in her eyes. "Please be okay soon. I know you will be. You're Tris."

She's right. I am Tris. I want to thank her for reminding me that but instead I just let out a small smile. I am Dauntless.

I turn away from her, and from the corner of my eye, I see Tobias and Eliza teasing each other. _How sweet_, I say bitterly in my mind. It's the only way I know, for now, to show them that I don't give a damn but it seems like it doesn't work because they only have attention for each other. I take the exit, walk more steps, and when I'm far enough from the dining hall, I run fast to the dormitory.

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

I and Eliza are back to normal today. I went to her place this morning and she welcomes me with a hungry kiss as she always does. I'm pleased that I don't have to worry about her hassling at me to tell her about the reason why I left her at my apartment the other night, but still, there's guilt in me. Especially because I've encountered Tris last night at the hallway, at a ladder, and as much as I want to avoid her, I hadn't done it. She was also close to menace that time. She slipped her feet at one of the steps that I had to run fast to save her. If I didn't do it, she might have fallen to the floor, her skull broken.

And I didn't want that to happen.

I never wanted her to be hurt. It has never been my intention even when I was still her instructor. But I don't understand what made her run away from me in a sudden. I was _so _worried that she has gotten injured or if she remembered something from her childhood in Abnegation that made her look so…_afraid_. I saw it all over her face. It was _coated _on her face. I saw fear. She was afraid.

But I don't know why. And I'm bothered that I don't. What if something is haunting her? What if there's something she's terrified of and it has something to do with me? But what could that possibly be?

And why, of all people, is she scared of me? I _never _did anything to scare her like that. And I _never_ did anything to _hurt_ her.

Or…

Did I?

I blow the thoughts away. No matter how I want to know, I don't think she would tell me. And I don't think that she would ever come close to me again after _that _kiss, which Eliza has no idea about. I can already imagine if she finds out about it. She will definitely push me to argue about it, question my love for her, and lastly, she will _attack _Tris and wouldn't care if it's going to affect anyone.

I don't want that to happen. She _couldn't _harm Tris.

And she doesn't know Tris and what she _can _do. She's a Dauntless, a true Dauntless, and I've come to learn how brave she is. She's much braver than Eliza.

Maybe sometimes she tries not to lose it, tries not to hold herself, and tries not to response through actions. But once she gets across with, she wouldn't regret to hurt.

It's going to be a mess.

I amble through the control room soon. I find Eric waiting for me there, in front of the computer monitor, the same one he used to control the cameras last night. At first, he doesn't look at me as if he didn't hear me walked in. His eyes remain on the monitor as I stand there, few inches away from him, waiting for him to put his attention to me. I'm sure he's going to say something.

But as I expect him to actually say a thing, I find it odd when he suddenly laughs.

I narrow my eyes. "What's funny?"

Instead of providing me an answer, he just laughs again. Harder this time, that he slaps his hip, laughing some more.

I roll my eyes. "So you're just going to cackle the whole time that I'm here? Why call for an appointment, then? This _is _useless."

When I say that, I feel his eyes shift to mine from the corner of my eye. I decided to just look at the wall than at him if all that he's interested to do is to laugh like a retarded seal.

"You know what, Four?" he says with a smirk. "I never knew that you _are _playboy. That's fascinating to know."

I look at him with objection. "_What?_"

He snorts. "Don't play innocent. Maybe you've forgotten that I was here at the control room last night, controlling the cameras. I saw what happened. I saw all of it. You and the Stiff_ kissed_."

My jaw drops to his straight-forward words. I do remember. Yes, he was watching last night. He did see everything. The kiss. My hands on Tris' waist. Her hands on my chest. Only that he didn't see her reaction, when her eyes went large.

And now I get it. He was laughing because he was rewinding the footage on the monitor. And anytime he wants, he can reveal it. He can reveal it to Eliza, and that is possible because he always have bad intents. If he does it, I already know the upshot.

"I knew it, Four." He says when I remain speechless. "I've always had a theory that you have an eye for the Stiff. I've been observing that since her initiation."

This time, I response.

"What are you saying?" My voice defends.

"What am I saying?" he chuckles. "Well…I'm saying that…I think you like her ever since. Ever since she fell at the net. Ever since you introduced me to her and to her smart-mouthed Candor friend, ever since she became a transfer. That is what I'm saying."

I shake my head. "You're inventing your own story."

"Oh," he says, lifting his chin. "Really I am? But why was she the first one you chose during the groupings in Capture the Flag? Why did you save her when Peter and his friends tried to kill her? Tell me you did those because you don't like her."

I look at the wall again, getting pissed off by his presence and by his accusations. He's definitely doing this to get me on chaos.

"Are you broadening a small thing or you're really just stupid?" I sound like a combined Dauntless and Candor. "First, I picked her to be in my group at Capture the Flag because she was knocked down by Peter the day before that, during the fight. I just wanted her to cope up and bring out the Dauntless in her, to use her senses in order to prove her opponents that she transferred with a purpose. And second, I saved her from Peter, Drew, and Al, who's actually her friend and not Peter's, because you are the only person in this compound who's heartless enough to watch a short girl being killed by three strong guys who have something against her!"

When I finish, I realized that I said the last words resentfully, and that I am mad. Mad because he's such a meddler. Mad because he's always been something to get mad at. And mad because he's putting Tris in this.

"Did you just say _heartless_, Four?" he asks, tilting his head.

"Yes I did." I sound stern.

"Maybe you're right." He shrugs. "Because if I was the one who witnessed that slaughter, I don't think I would the same thing that you did. I think I'm heartless enough to better watch her _die_."

Eric says the last word with meaning. I suddenly feel anger, an eager to punch him, to shoot him. But I remain standing there, my chin up.

"I couldn't afford to do something like that as much as you can, Eric. I'm not like you. Because you're a despotic person."

He snorts again, and I hate the sound of it.

"Of course you cannot do that, Four." He crosses his arms. "Especially when the girl that you _love _is the one on danger."

What does he really need from me? Lately, he was only accusing me for liking Tris, and then now he's assuring that I love her. I wanted to complaint about it, to _remind _him that I have a girlfriend but he does it before I can take the chance.

"Poor Eliza. She has no any idea that her beloved boyfriend has been in love with another girl ever since and that they just kissed last night."

He looks at me with a pesky, mocking smile, and stands up.

"Can you afford that, Four? Can you afford that your girlfriend isn't aware about what happened? Say yes and it only means that you really care more with the Stiff than her."

He steps closer. I feel an urge to grab him by the hem of his shirt and punch him hard to leave him gory on the floor but in its place, I wait for him to talk more.

"Silence means _yes_, then." He smirks. "If that so…then…let's let her know about it."

"Don't you dare," I glare. "Or I'll break your bone."

"Like I'm scared, Four."

"I'm serious."

"I'm serious too, Four. Eliza needs to see that footage. She really must. So…if it happens that she comes over here, I'd feel honored to let her see. Just imagine what a beautiful show will occur afterwards. She and _your _Stiff will clash and I think you must be present when that happens to see who wins."

He laughs again. And I'm already bursting. I take the opportunity while his mouth is open and punch him hard there with so much anger. He falls to the ground, his jaws bleeding, his face looking dreadful, and I don't want to stop. He deserves more. So I crouch at him and take a strike again, twice and at his eyes this time. He attempts to fight back by throwing an arm on me, planning to smack my face, but I don't let him succeed. My hand has curled into his fist and I push it back at him, thumping his eyes again. _For Tris. _And I did it one last time.

When I know that I've hit him enough for him to learn his lesson, I stand up and lick my lips where I tasted blood.

Eric stays at the floor, hugging his knees. Blood scatters on the floor, serving as his background. After all, black isn't the color that suits him. It is blood and it's been that way all along. He deserves what he got from me and if he tries my temper again, he'd definitely get something worse than that. I might do to him what Peter, Drew, and Al did to Tris. I will throw him at the Chasm and I won't regret.

I take steps backwards. "I told you not to dare, Eric. Don't you ever dare again. You don't know what I can do."

My back reaches the door, and I twist the doorknob open. I leave Eric a last glare and walks out, slamming the door.

I decide to go to my apartment. There is blood on my hands and on my chin and I cannot face people looking like this. I cannot face Eliza with this kind of appearance. And Tris cannot see me blood-printed.

Especially when the reason why I have these—these red stains—is because I _had _to defend her.

**A/N: I have some fun facts about the process of writing this chapter. As I wrote this chapter, I was listening to the song, "My Heart" by Paramore and "On Fire" by Switchfoot on Youtube. They were just two of the songs that remind me of Four and Tris. **

**Please leave a review of what do you think about this chapter and I think it'd be fun if you also share the songs that remind you of FourTris/Divergent! =) **

**Also, I would like to ask for a favor, a piece of your time. My best friend and her classmate posted an audio cover of the song, "Terrified" by Katharine McPhee on and I am totally wanting you to hear it because they did a great job on it and the blending of their voices was just so good on the ears! **

**Here is the link: Sound Cloud**

**If it doesn't work, please go to and sign in with Facebook and search for her username, "Kathleenfinty" and you will find the audio cover there. **

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, and adding this story to your favorites. **

**What you believe in is what you will become. Have a great day!**

**-Iris**

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	7. Chapter Seven

**A/N: I dedicate this seventh chapter to all of you : )**

** jealoustobias Thanks for your support and suggestion. I'd apply the idea with the best that I can. Maybe I'd put it on Chapter 8 or 9. Either of the two. : )**

**-Iris**

**Chapter Seven: That Stiff**

**Tris' POV**

I look at my watch when I drag myself out of the bed at the dormitory. I slept for fifteen minutes. Therefore, I'm late to my shift for fifteen minutes now. With panic, I put on my shoes with speed and take a quick look of myself at the mirror hanging on the wall to check if my hair is dumped. I comb it using my fingers and walk out of the room fast.

I pass by the clinic as I toddle to the tattoo parlor. I saw Christina at the corner of my eye and she called out my name but I was such in a hurry that I ignored her. Tori greets me when she see me entering the parlor. She doesn't question why I am late, but rather continue working with the tattoo of her customer.

I scan around the room. I'm expecting to see Eliza anywhere but all that is here are Bob, Tori, Xian, and I. I thought we have the same shift again today? But where is she? I think… she doesn't want to attend because she doesn't want to see me?

The door of the rest room suddenly flies open.

I'm mistaken.

Of course she's here.

She sees me but doesn't care. And I don't care too. I go to my own place and arrange the tools on the table in front of a mirror.

"It's finished," Tori says, almost singing.

Her customer peeks to the tattoo on her shoulder: A gun with flames of fire around it.

Tori smiles. "Do you like it?"

"You did it amazingly!"

"I'm glad you like it."

"Of course."

The customer rises from her seat and hands Tori her payment. She couldn't resist looking at her tattoo every five seconds.

"Come back, okay?" Tori says.

"After you did this, I really will."

Soon, the customer leaves the parlor. Tori takes back the means that she used to their right place.

"What happened, Tris?" she suddenly asks as she moves.

I stare at her. "What happened? What do you mean what happened?"

"You were late today. Why?"

"Ah," I say with a small smile. "I decided to take a nap. Didn't think it'd take fifteen minutes."

I notice Tori casts a look on Eliza who's minding her own business at her desk. She's drawing something. Probably a tattoo design. But here and not, I think Tori's telling me through the eyes that Eliza _is _secretly listening to our conversation and we better change the subject now.

"No new customer is coming yet," Tori says in a quick second. "I'd like to ask you a favor, Tris. Will it be okay?"

"O-ofcourse. What is it?"

"Can you braid me?"

She pushes a chair in front of the mirror on her place. Without me answering yet, she already sits there and loosens her ponytail. She reaches for a comb—her own comb—on the table and combs her hair with the support of her other hand.

"Sure," I say walking behind her. "What kind of braid do you like?"

"I'm not that _demanding_, you know," she says with a laugh. And when she said that, I realized that she doesn't talk like that. Just now. Also, she looks at the corner of the mirror when she dropped those words. I followed her eyes through the reflection. I traced it and found out that she's looking at Eliza, who is still busy drawing.

Does Tori refers to Eliza as she speaks? Why would she do that? Perhaps she doesn't like her…_too_.

"A side braid will be fine with me."

"Give me the comb," I command, bypassing a comment. "And if you have a rubber band…"

"Yes I have. Here is it."

She hands me both the comb and the rubber band and I begin by combing her hair completely, getting rid of all tangles and knots that are hidden in under layers. When I'm done with the first step, I go to step two. I separate her hair in three sections, one on each side and one in the middle. I take two of the sections of hair in one hand and the last one in the other. As I'm on the process, Tori chit-chats with me.

"Where did you learn braiding again, Tris?"

I place the single section of hair between the two sections, pulling the single section over with one of the sections and move a different section to the other side of her head.

"My mother used to do this with my hair when I was still in Abgenation. But I also pull it back to normal when I'm outdoors 'cause you know…it's protocol."

"Speaking of your Mom…how is she now? And your Dad? Your Brother? He was an Erudite-transfer right?"

I feel cold sweat in my palms with her consequences of questions. Remembering my family—the family that I've abandoned—still hits me until now, until now that I'm already a Dauntless member. Moreover, I never liked the idea of talking about them in public, in unselected moments. And I don't think it's a wise idea to response to her nosiness right now—right now that Eliza is here and she could eavesdrop.

I shed a look on Tori through the mirror, giving her a signal. It takes her about ten seconds to understand what I mean but thank God she has an adaptable attitude that she swiftly change the topic—for the second time—with ease.

"Are we about done?" she inquires.

"Close enough." I say.

Braiding doesn't take me five minutes at all. I'm so used with this thing. My hands have memorized the steps.

Still holding the three sections, I repeat the fourth step. And it goes over and over again until there are only four sections left.

As I continue, neither I nor Tori speaks again. I focus on the braid which's about to finish in less than thirty seconds and forgets that Eliza is just behind us…by the way.

When I'm down to the last two sections, I see someone enters the door from the corner of my eye. I don't look to see who is that because I my hands might lose focal point and Tori's braid will turn out as a mess, and so I expected it's a new customer.

But I don't hear anything like, "I want a tattoo." : what a usual customer says when he/she enters. Instead, what I hear is…

"Tobias!"

My ears have gone deaf for about five seconds when they hear the name. As I pull the single section over the last, fourth section, I steal a look through the mirror and see Eliza's hands wrapped around Tobias's neck, and his hands are on her waist. But I don't look for a longer time. I go back on braiding Tori's hair and finally, all I have to do is to put all the three sections of her hair together and secure it with the rubber hand.

"I'm surprised that you came here to visit." I hear Eliza say with slang. "What made you drop by?"

Holding the tip of Tori's hair, I get the rubber hand on my wrist with the other hand.

"Uh…there's no more to do at the control room. It might as well be continued some other time." He says.

I twirl the rubber band on the tip, then twirl it again, and did it for the third time until it's locked. From her back, I transferred the braid beside her neck as what she wished. Side braid.

Tori touches each of the sections fastened together and beamed at me through the mirror.

"Hey, I like it. Thank you!"

I return the smile. "Sure."

Tori stands up from the chair and faces me, and I take the chance to add a creative taste on her braid. I pull out carefully some strands from her head and put them aside, leveled on her temple.

"What is that for?"

"To make it look messy in a fascinating way." I say.

She nods like she just found out about it today. I go back to my place afterwards and pretend that Tobias and Eliza aren't here—aren't behind me at all—giggling, kissing, and teasing each other. I pretend that I don't hear them. I sit in front of my desk and decide to better focus on learning the other tattoo patterns.

But they aren't that far to be heard.

"Do you want to get a tattoo?" Eliza queries, "I could do it for you."

"Nah, I don't need one for now."

"Are you sure? I would even be happy to be _the_ one doing it for you." I hear her voice becomes closer in my way. Although I'm not facing them, I think she's emphasizing something to hit me. But she's not succeeding. I've felt _so much _and _enough _previously. I just don't want to remember it all again, just don't want to rewind their make-outs in my head. They have to be just _nothing _on me.

"Are you leaving already?" she asks. I can picture Tobias pulling away from her.

"Yeah, I'm thinking about going to the training room to…you know…try on the pistols and daggers for the coming initiates."

"But that's yet to come!" Eliza sounds like a little girl. "Can you do it some other day?"

"Eliza…it's better to be early. Soon, by the next following weeks, everyone's going to be busy for the new initiation. You know that I don't like rushing. So I must—"

"Kay…fine." I hear nuisance in Eliza's voice. "But tonight, I want you to be just mine. I just want _us_, nobody else, and nothing else. Okay?"

Tobias chuckles. "Okay."

Then I hear them kiss. The sound of it is eerie in my ears so I covered my left ear—where the sound is much clearer—in a way that doesn't seem like it.

"Bye," Eliza says. "I'll see you tonight."

I don't hear Tobias say anything. Perhaps he just smiled, or nod in response. I heed to Eliza walking back to her desk and when she does, she lets out a sigh and goes back to drawing. I let my hand stay covered on my left ear as I continue with my work. Yes, I've tried not to stare at them that much and I've help myself with that thing but now the matter with me is that my ears won't stop replaying the sound of their kiss.

And it makes me sick.

Xxxx

**Eliza's POV**

During the whole time of my shift, I only had two customers. The rest fell on Tori and the Stiff. Those two infuriating girls. I hate the fact that I have no one to talk to at the tattoo parlor—it's so boring-but even though they're the last two people I'm going to work with at the parlor, I won't _ever _bear to approach and be-friend them. Over my dead body. That's why I was just minding my own business at my desk. Drawing tattoo designs. Doing some doodles. Writing my and Tobias's name over and over again and my name with his last name, Eaton. I just want to know how it sounds when the day he will propose to me comes. I can't wait for that day.

As I was doing those on a paper, I was also listening to Tori and the Stiff's conversation. Yeah, she was braiding her and Tori was asking her about her family but she refused to answer. Tori was also inquiring if her brother transferred to Erudite and as much as I wait for her to respond, she didn't. Tori eventually changes their subject then later that time, Tobias came. I guess I made another good job of killing the Stiff in jealousy. Only she played as if she can't see us, but I knew that deep inside, she can't breathe.

That's just how it's supposed to be.

1 pm strikes in and my shift's done. Tyree, a co-worker, will substitute me. I walk out of the parlor before the Stiff can. I want to go to the training room to see if Tobias is still there and also, to spend my free time with him. But I'm not that concerned with guns and knives anymore. I used to love it during our initiation and I was skilled with them but I don't know…I don't feel like loving it again. However, of course, I still _know _how to use them and once I put one on my hands, I can _harm _cleverly.

So I choose to just wait for evening to come by so that I and Tobias will be together again. I pass by the clothing shop, the clinic, and the dining hall, as I make my way to my apartment. I'd stay there for a while.

I'm at the hallways now. I overtake with the Dauntless-born and transfers' dormitories. My apartment is still inches away from here so I keep walking, my hands swaying on the sides.

As I prolong, somewhere between the dorms, I hear someone call my name.

"Eliza,"

The voice sounds wicked and familiar. I stop and stand still, and then I observe my surroundings. The voice calls my name again.

"Who are you?"

He emerges from the right, near the door of the Dauntless-born initiates' dorm. He is smirking at me, coming closer to me, and just stand there, not feeling scared of him like anybody does. I've been so used with his attitude since initiation.

"Eric," I say, "what are you doing here? And what…what happened to your face?"

He has a black-eye—so dark—it looks nasty on him. His jaw is also broken which I find gross, and then his chin is bruised. I've never seen him like this before; he rarely gets into his fights although he intends to manipulate and anger people. Who could have done this to him?

He looks down to his jaw and points a finger to it. "This?"

"All of it. How did you get them?"

He brings down his hand and chuckle. An evil laugh. "Your boyfriend did this shit to me."

My mouth falls open. "_Tobias? _Tobias did that to you?"

He steps closer.

"You heard it right. He was insane."

I cross my arms and stands on one foot's weight. "And why would he break your face that way? For what reason? I thought you two are working together at the control room for the coming initiation. Then what are you talking about?"

He moistens his lips and watches the ceiling. "Well…would you like to find out why? Would you like to know how it all began? Would you like to—"

"Of course I do. I'm his girlfriend. I have the right to know."

He shrugs and turns away from me. "Follow me, then."

"To where?"

"You'll know."

Eric begins walking, his hands on his pockets. After his last word, none of us speak again. I just follow him wherever he is going. I don't think he'd bring me to a treacherous setting. We've known each other since initiation. He ranked second after Tobias but got the role of a Dauntless leader instead because Tobias refused to have it. Eric is a very competitive person. That's always been the best word to describe him ever since the first stage of our initiation began. He was so eager to get the first place at the fear landscape, and to everything else that followed after that. He _never _wanted to be second-best, or third-best, or anything else lower than two. He wanted to be the first. Always. Unfortunately for him, Tobias has beaten his time on the fear landscape and his number of fears. Tobias only had four. While he…well…I can't recall how many fears he had. Nine, maybe?

We pass by the walls as we've gone to the dormitories. From my state, I can already spot that he's going to take me in the control room, yet, I don't know for what purpose. He knows that I have no any enthusiasm with the work they do there or at the training room. But he keeps on walking so I just do, too.

I cross my arms. "So what is the connection of the control room to Tobias and to your wrecked face?" I ask impatiently.

"Just you wait. I have something to show you."

"And what is that?"

"Uh-oh. I won't tell you unless we're there. But I would like to give you a clue." I hear a smirk on his resonance.

"What?"

"It's something that you don't like to see and would _hate _to see. But then—"

I let out a hysterical laugh. "So you know that I'd hate it yet you're going to show me? You must be the one insane."

I notice that he ignores my comment.

"But then…it's going to be a good show. And I presume that once you see it, you will understand how I got these injuries and you might as well share the rage with me."

I furrow my eyes on the back of his neck. "Show? Rage?"

He doesn't response.

Until we finally reach the control room and I peek inside. It's captured by computers, cameras, a desk of papers and folders, remotes, and a touch screen monitor on the left side wall.

Eric walks in before me and he ambles toward a computer monitor near one of the windows. I don't wait for him to ask me to come in. I do it myself. And when I do, I look around, keeping an eye on each object like I've never been to a control before.

"You can just actually watch this on a computer monitor, you know…" he says, and I put my attention to him. "So it's a video." I say.

He snorts. "Of course."

"And what's on a video?"

He ignores me and obtains a remote settled somewhere beside the monitor. He turns on the touch screen monitor on the left wall and I flash my eyes in there. A couple of icons regarding of the simulation tests, results, and former initiates' profiles pop-in and for a while, I wait.

Eric holds the mouse and he is clicking on something. I focus on the touch screen monitor to have a bigger view of what is he doing. But although I can see it, I'm growing edgy. He's clicking a lot of folders and switches to a number of files until I can't cope up anymore. I wonder what that video is and why is he so eager to show it to me that he has to save it in a narrow way?

I tap my feet. "How longer will it take for you find it?"

He shoots me a look. "Just you wait. You won't feel bored anymore once you see this."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever, Eric."

"Here it comes now."

His eyes ask me to shift my concentration to the touch screen monitor. And I do. I moved my eyes from him to the monitor and at first; I don't understand why the Stiff is in that video.

"What does she have to do with this stuff?"

I see Eric tilt his head, just watching with me, isn't entertaining my curiosity. "Just watch. I got that video from one of the opened cameras at the hallways."

"When was this?"

"The other night."

_The other night. _I mouth the words. _That was the day when I and Tobias were avoiding each other due to misunderstanding. And this video…this video happened that night._

Eric sees me not paying attention to the video. Rather, he catches me thinking about something.

"Hey, I told you to watch."

And I go back to watching. The Stiff is still looking at the camera, her face so close. I analyze what is she doing and I realize that she's examining the camera. For a second or two, I still see nothing of what is the relation of this video to Eric's bruises. But as it goes on, I think I'm almost close to understanding why.

Eric smirks at me. "See that?"

My eyes widen and my jaw drops.

_**Tobias.**_

"I knew you're going to look like that." I hear Eric say but I pay no heed to him.

I can already feel myself bursting, my fists curling, and my blood rising. Yet, I continue to watch. I want to know what happens next. I want to see how did that cunt took the chance to flirt with my boyfriend.

I see Tobias standing before her, at the ground, his arms crossed. They were talking but there was no sound functioning since it's just a footage—unfortunately—but I wish that there is so that I'll be more assured of what they are doing while I'm not around. And I have a feeling that they have a relationship in secrecy ever since and Tobias isn't telling me. I also have a sensation that the reason why Tobias left me at his apartment that night was because he's feeling guilty already—guilty that he's having an affair with that goddamned Stiff. Now I knew it. They have nothing to hide, nothing to—

"And there goes the most beautiful part." Eric says.

Most beautiful part? There's nothing good on this!

I watch the Stiff comes down of the ladder as Tobias stands still. My hands are still curled on a fist, and if I see something worse after that scene—her climbing down of the ladder—I couldn't stop myself already to rupture out of this room and go straightforward to that girl and _destroy _her.

She's still climbing on the video. My eyes stay focus. Eric crosses his arms and lifts his chin, enjoying the show as I hate it.

And then my fists go firmer. Too firm that my fingernails are pinching my palms. She slips a foot on one of the steps—which for me, is something that she did on purpose-and in one blink of my eye, Tobias is running swiftly towards her to catch her. But as much as I thought she would land accurate on his arms, the alternative happened. Her body smacks hard against his and they fell right _there_ at the floor, Tobias's hands on her waists, her hands on his chest, and somebody dare to control me now or else—_they kissed!_

I'm done here.

I'm done here now.

If I maintain to watch more, I couldn't resist myself to involve Eric with my aim. Eric, who's biting back a laugh beside the computer the footage, is coming from. But he's not my foremost target now. _That Stiff. _I said it once or maybe twice, that if she ever attempts to do something to take Tobias away from me, I will be her worst enemy.

And I will stand on that character _now._

Without finishing that stupid video, and looking at Eric, I turned my eager feet away from the spot I'm standing at and reaches for the doorknob.

"You're going to her now?" Eric says with excitement. "Goodlu—"

I bang the door. I'm walking fast now. I can feel the longing to attack her, to finish her off. I knew it. She's been keeping this yearning for my boyfriend—she took advantage of my and Tobias's misunderstanding so she can flirt with him. So she can kiss him. And she slipped herself of that ladder on purpose!

How pathetic of hers.

And here I come now, just you wait. _Just you wait. _

I will teach her a lesson. A lesson on how to never dare linger around somebody's boyfriend and to stay away from Tobias, from _**us**_.

**I will devastate her.**

**A/N: Eliza finally found out about the footage of Tobias's and Tris' accidental kiss. Now she's gone angry and is planning to attack Tris.**

**What will she do? How will Tris defend herself? Will Tobias find out about it and do something to stop them? **

**That we'll find out on the eighth chapter! : )**

**For the meanwhile, I'd like to ask for your opinions about the casting for the Divergent movie. Shailene Woodley has been officially cast as Tris, and the casting for Four is down to four actors (what a coincidence!) **

**I'm really definitely absolutely hoping Brenton Thwaites will get the part since among the four, I can see the image of Tobias in him the most. **

**What about you? : )**

**-Iris**


	8. Chapter Eight

**A/N: I'm sorry if I haven't updated yesterday. There was a project in school that has to be done and be submitted at 9 am this morning. But anyway, here's the eighth chapter for you. In this chapter, you will witness Tris and Eliza's encounter. **

**Enjoy reading! : )**

**-Iris**

**Chapter Eight: Uncontrollable **

**Tris' POV**

I lean in the railing of the Chasm, sighing, staring, and thinking. I realized that after all I've been through here in the Dauntless compound, there's still and _always _going to be a part of me that miss my family. My parents. Caleb. Abgenation. Our home. I hate the fact that I want to visit them yet there's still protocol to follow despite of the freedom—the temporary freedom—that they're giving. I can't help but to form guesses about Caleb's current condition, or what my parents are up to. I hope there's some other way to know but it seems like there is nothing else; if there is, and if it's just above-board, I won't be standing here right now. Rather, I'm riding on the trains already, on the way to their place.

Water hits my feet as my thoughts go deeper. I've been worrying about them so much now. Sometimes I just can't help but to have these negative instincts that frequently bring me to being a reckless person—which, I know—is I really am. I have this attitude that makes choices on sudden moments, on the most unoccupied events that on the contrary, result as being detrimental especially to the people around me, to those who're special to me, to those whom I _care _about, to…

_Tobias_, maybe.

I shut my eyes on the thought of him. Lately he wasn't emerging in my thoughts at all. Everything that I think about was Mom, Dad, Caleb, the people of Abgenation, the changes that happened here in this compound, and the teenagers like me that I've met who're now my friends and are a big part of my life as a Dauntless.

But maybe I'm right.

Maybe…in me being inattentive, I've put Tobias, too, in an off-putting state of affairs. I know that I've been such an idiot _that _night, at the hallways, at the ladder. I know, I know, I know. Only if I didn't just give a damn to the yellow light flickering to the camera, and only if I just went straight to my bed and slept, that incident won't happen. That _kiss _won't happen. I guess it's my fault. Oh…it's _actually_ my fault. If you could see, he had nothing to do with it. He just saved me. It was me after all. He has a girlfriend and ever, he wouldn't wish or want something like that to occur, especially if it's a kiss, especially if it's with _me_.

What if Eliza finds out about it? What if she thinks otherwise? Definitely, they're going to fight over it. I've already seen them unstable before, the other day, and I just learned that when they argued about something, whether it's simple or serious, they're going to avoid each other all day. And what am I going to be? _A third party? A Stiff's a third party, caused a delighted couple to break up? __**Unheard of. **_I was never brought up that way.

And if that truly happens, I already knew what Tobias is going to be like. Of course he will be upset. He will rather stay quiet or ignore a lot of people, ignore everyone—in fact—ignore _me_. But at least I know why. At least I know that I'm involved. And before that thing comes to life in a few days, I will begin staying away from him now. It's better to do it first because I'm already having the feeling that that's what's planning to do also. In order to feel no pain when he eventually does it, I'd take the turn.

I moisten my lips as I think about it. It's _a_ choice; a matter of choice. But other than that, it's also a matter of knowing your limits and where you—_I_—must stand, where I should place myself. And that is to keep a distance regardless of living in the same compound; to let a couple stay a couple; let my feelings hide although it's not that easy.

And it's never been simple.

But I shall try. _For my own sake, too._

I've been standing here at the Chasm for about fifteen minutes now. All I did was to daydream, to form dramas on my head, and to watch the water flow. There must be something that is much better to do than just being alone here, and perhaps handing Christina some help at the clinic will be a good idea. She called out my name this morning while I was on my way to the tattoo parlor but since I was a in a hurry, I ignored her without the intention to do so. She didn't think I was mad at her, isn't it? I hope not.

I release my arms at the railing. Before I turn, water hits my toes again. But I ignore it, and move myself to do what I've just planned to do. Go to the clinic.

However, when I'm not getting that far from the railing yet, a voice calls and stops me. I spin around, searching for a sign who could that be. At first, I see nothing from the pathway through the hallways or anywhere else so my eyes hunt for more. But just when I thought that perhaps that was only my imagination…I'm proven wrong.

Eliza appears in my sight, her walking is swift, her hands curled in fist and…and she seems likes she's going to eat me alive…_**now**_.

"You!" is the first thing she says when she reaches me. I am about to react to her sudden arrival but her actions are too fast that I didn't have a chance to open my mouth to say something. She grabs my hair into a fist and takes advantage of it by pulling me against her, wanting me to hear her clearly when she speaks.

"I knew it! I've been having a feeling that maybe you want _my _boyfriend since the last few days but I didn't believe it unless I haven't proved myself correct. But now…" her voice is loud and sharp in my ears. She probably wants me to get deaf first before she could smack me anywhere she wishes to.

"But now I know that I'm right!" She pulls my hair again, firmer this time. I attempt to reach her in anyplace that I can, thinking maybe by chance, I could find her weakness. But before I could do that, she gets my wrist around another hand and presses it hard, making me feel bumpier. This kind of position is lacking me in strategy. I have to think. I have to think as she talks.

"How dare you to get close to him you cunt! _How dare you!_ I thought Stiffs don't know how to _flirt _at all but with what you _did_ and with what you must be planning to do, I could say that you're a big disgrace to your own _foolish _faction!"

So that's why. She already found out about what happened the other night and now she's thinking that that was on purpose. I wonder how did she know about it, or who told her about it, but in my case by this instant, I don't have to find an answer. I have to release myself although she's claiming my balance, my ability to move straight. I try to use my knee. I make a strive to kick her in her femur—which is probably not a good choice—but she has avoided it and I half-expected that she'd be hurt there even just a bit even though it's a small chance. But if I'm attempting to free myself here by using the strength of the lower part of my body, I figure out that _this_—this thing that Eliza is doing to me—the pulling of the hair and the pressing firmly on the wrist—is just the most _dim-witted _thing she's _ever _done. She's Dauntless right? In fact, she was skilled with fighting, shooting, and throwing off knives before I was. But I can't believe that she went here to attack me with no weapons at all. If she was planning to harm me, at least she could have done it in a better, wiser way. She should _have _brought a gun. Didn't she think of that?

As my hair remains circled on her fist and my wrist controlled on her other hand, I grab a minute to talk, to at least defend myself and my faction verbally.

"Your faction knows both proficiency and tactic, Eliza. _Dauntless _knows it. I thought initiates were being trained here in order to practice those but at the same time, I also thought that you _were _once an initiate. This…this sudden approach of yours to me right here at the Chasm, right by this chance where nobody is around is what I can call as stupidity and cowardice combined. So tell me now. Tell me now that Abgenation is the foolish one. Tell me now that a group of people who knows how to balance character and intellect is foolish. I could prove you wrong with that anytime. In fact, by this moment that you're holding me, I've already proven you off beam. You are _the _brainless per—"

She pulls my hair again with a groan, making the roots hurt. Also, she presses my wrist harder. But now, I no longer care if my stability is on her power and that I have to continue trying kicking her everywhere. Because I don't. Christina said that I _am _Tris. The Tris who fell on her butt off to Peter during the first stage of initiation but rose back with everything to gain. The Tris who left Molly blood-spattered on the ground of the arena but didn't regret. The Tris who's brave. The Tris who can focus. The Tris who thinks. The Tris who's _true _Dauntless. That is me.

"You watch your words when you talk to me, weakling. You don't know that I can—"

"I can too!" I say with all the strength that I've earned and step on her foot hard fast so that she won't be able to avoid it. Then right after I do that, her stiff hold on my wrist lessens and I take that chance to use support from my other hand to pull it away from her. When she comes to her senses that I'm close to being released, she tries to take the stern hold back on me but I don't let her anymore. With anger and force, I use my left hand to grab her hand on my air and I feel that my fingers have scratched the back of her hand. She moans in pain and finds a way to fight back but it's my turn this time. She's had me on her supremacy awhile ago but by now, it's different. By now, _I rule. _

I twist her hand—which was responsible for stinging the roots on my hair—and her other hand—which was to blame for the raw of my wrist—then I combine them together with such may until I've done what I want to do. I've twirled her around without being interrupted with her format on mind and when I do, I no longer see her _pretty _face that irritates me—not because I know that she's much prettier than me—but because she doesn't know how to put good quality on that beauty.

Now, with my hands curled around her twisted arms on the small of her back, I pulled her against me. I don't release my hold off of her. Instead, I make it more rigid, causing her to discharge them away with the best that she can but she's the one who shall regret now. She didn't think first before coming here to attack me. She didn't think of good plan. I bet if she did, I must be the one who's on her position right now. But although that happens to me, I will still use my _mind_ to free and preserve myself—not in the way that she knows which isn't helpful at all.

"Let go of me, Stiff." Her voice is almost quiet but the serration on it doesn't fade.

I compress my mouth closer to her—to her ear. I want her to hear me precisely. No breaks. No bafflement. Just my words and their emphasis.

"I'm _not_ a Stiff anymore. Stick that on your mind…_**hard**_. And if you came here planning to impair me because of whatever that you found out, I'll be the one to tell you that you aren't just a person of no carriage but also a person of no consideration. Furthermore, I will be taking the lead now to inform you too that you don't have to act like what you did recently if you do _trust _your boyfriend and if you believe that you are the only girl that he loves. But with what you just showed me, you've just proven that your love for _him _is nothing but _feeble_."

For the fourth time now, she tries to free herself. With more force. With more anger. But it doesn't work. By this moment, I have an aim, and with that, I'm not done yet.

"So don't you try me again. If you're planning to throw madness on me, make sure your facts are straight so you can blame everything you want on me with pride. I am not what you can easily break, Eliza. And I think I must remind you about that. Yes, I have a weak point too but someone like you isn't the one who can bring me there. You heard me?"

She tries to let go again instead of answering me but fails.

"_You heard me?_"

I repeat myself, expecting her to response by the second chance.

And I think I've done well.

"Yes," she whispers.

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

I just came from the training room. I tested the pistols and the daggers if they still aim accurately so when the new consignment of initiates arrives here, they can train with no hiatus. That could make them more eager to learn, to be a Dauntless member.

Supposedly, I must have done that with Eric. But I don't think that's possible with what had just happened. The accident was just this morning—_oh no—_let me correct myself. It was _not _an accident. I did that on purpose. I broke his face with a reason and my reason was good and earth to hell, I won't say sorry. If he can get to his sanity, he should be the one doing that part. But for someone like him, I don't think he would dare. "Sorry" has always been the word that you'd rarely or maybe _never _hear from Eric. And I don't expect him to try.

I blow the thought of him away from my mind. I look at my watch and it says that it's already two p.m. I'm pretty sure that Eliza's shift is done since one hour ago. Yet, she didn't come to the training room although she knew that I was there. Of course she wouldn't come. She doesn't like that place…anymore.

I go to check her on her apartment. I knock three times, used that she will open the door in the second knock only. I open the door when nobody responses. I look around the room, looking for a sign of her but there isn't any. Where could she be at?

I search again. I walk around the hallways, and scan the dormitories—although I know that she wouldn't go there. I pass by each wall, each camera, and then when I'm almost close to the ends of the corridors, the venue where I saw Tris the other night came to view. Suddenly, it all comes again. It all rewinds. Her blue eyes glimmering even in darkness. Her blonde hair that's visible in black. _The kiss_. The feeling of having my hands on her waist and her hands on my chest. It all hit something in me. Then from that, my thoughts flash to my encounter with Eric this morning. His words are still clear in my head; everything that he said, especially those that are about Tris. When he said that if he was the one who saw her being thrown at the Chasm by Peter, Drew, Al, he would rather watch her die. But he's lying. I know he could do something else than that. He must have _helped _them kill her too if he was the one who witnessed the happening and not me.

When I'm done flashing back to the recent events, I remember that I'm actually looking for my girlfriend.

But just once again, my thoughts are rambled about her when I see a noise—_no_—a bickering of voices. They are loud. They are in chorus. They are trying to interrupt one another. They are…

"_Tris?_" her name was the first thing that comes out of my lips before I say, "_Eliza?_"

"Hey you two stop this now!" It's a male voice over there at the Chasm. I recognize that it's Zeke's voice. As he says that, he was between Tris and Eliza, separating them. Tris is on the side of Marlene, Uriah, and Christina. While Eliza is on the side of Lynn, Shauna, and Will. Eliza is still saying something. She doesn't want to be controlled. She keeps on snapping words—offensive words—on Tris while Tris, on the contrary, tries to be calm on her friends' arms even though I can also sense anger in her face.

"I'm not done with you yet! Not yet! Let go of me!" Eliza demands but Lynn and her company doesn't do so. "I said let go of—"

"That's enough!"

All of them were surprised. Eliza stops herself. Nobody says a word. Just when they thought someone else is present on the scene, I approach them, making them figure out that the command came from me.

"Four," Zeke says. "It's good that you're here. These two…" he flies a hand on his forehead. "If you just saw what happened."

I furrow my eyes. _What happened? Did they do something terrible?_

"What—"I'm just about to ask but Eliza takes away my chance.

"That girl! She attempted to throw me off the railing!"

Eliza's tone is desperate. I couldn't believe my ears. From her, I turn my eyes to Tris who's shaking her head in condemnation. "I didn't do that. And I wouldn't do that although I _had _the chance."

"Yes you did, you liar! You even—"

"You were the one who started all of these! You—"

"Could you both please get done with this, ha?" I say, my voice turning to Four the Instructor's. In fact, I think, by this moment, I feel like I'm between two initiates who're fighting over the scores. But I'm not. Truth is I'm between the initiate who has seen my fear landscape and my girlfriend who just heard about my fears. I don't know to which side should I go with and at the same time, I want to be fair. This is a mess. Probably a mess caused by me.

"This scene that you're creating is nothing but senseless. This has nowhere to go so you better just _stop_."

Their eyes are all on me. _All _on me but Tris. She's looking at the water hitting the walls rather than on me. I hope I can just glance at her and easily deliver a message like, _"Look at me" _but the longer I stare at her, the more she avoids looking in my way.

I turn to Lynn, Shauna, and Will instead.

"You can let go of her now."

"But she might—"

Before Will can finish, Eliza has released herself with might. When she's free, Christina and the two others do the same to Tris and Tris, unlike Eliza, is calm when she was let go. Lynn, Shauna and Will go back to Tris' side, as well as Zeke until it's just _me _left to provide Eliza—my girlfriend—a company. I walk to her side.

"You won't do this again." I say.

She narrows her eyes on me. "Don't say that to me. Say it to yourself rather. And to _that _girl." She eyes Tris and Tris meets her gaze.

"Don't you ever come close to my boyfriend, _ever_, again. Stay away. Stay away from me, from him, from _us_."

Eliza said it with bitterness. She really wanted to smack the words to Tris; wanted to hit her hard in somewhere she will fall. I look at her again but still she doesn't interact with my eyes. She's looking straight on Eliza, her lips parted, and her throat clearing. I know already that by this instant, she wouldn't hold her tongue anymore.

"You don't have to remind me. And I shouldn't be reminded at all. Because I'm not like what you think. I know my place. I know where I stand. And I know my priorities. So to let you be informed, your relationship is not on the list of my priorities to destroy and to build. Therefore, I have no care."

As I listen to the things she says, I want to suppress a smile but at the same time, I'd rather express nothing in here. I want to beam because the Tris that I knew during initiation is still here. I figured out that she isn't lost at all. But I'd rather play emotionless with what I've just heard from her when true to point, I feel a lurch in my stomach that I can't tell what for.

And that lurch that I feel as Eliza says something in return again, becomes tighter when I see that Uriah—who was just quietly standing on his feet awhile ago—is now wrapping his arm around Tris' shoulders. Tris doesn't protest. She just lets him comfort her there, hold her there. And I don't know why…although I know that that could only be a friendly approach, I still don't like seeing it. The sight of them being drawn near each other makes me uncomfortable…makes me _sick._

I don't think I could see it for a longer time.

So to dismiss this scene to allow everyone to cool-off and to make myself control these insane feelings that I'm feeling right now…I just break the spell and function my "Four" tone again so nobody will hear the obvious in my voice.

"You go to your dormitories."

**A/N: On the ninth chapter, to make you guess, do you think Tobias will figure out what do his feelings mean to say? How will he explain everything to Eliza? And will Tris really do what she said—the staying away from Tobias? How will it affect them? That you'll find out on Chapter 9. : )**

**For the meanwhile, I have a message for:**

**Rose Dawson-Johanna Mason: Hello there! I'd like to thank you for your support and suggestion. : ) But…I already have a plan for the story. : ( Tris and Uriah couldn't do "it", they couldn't have a baby in this story because the security at the compound was strict. Likewise, Tris was scared to be touched (which is equal to intimacy) since Peter, Drew, Al attempted to kill her. But whatever my plans are for this story, I'd make sure that they won't disappoint all of you. : )**

**Bean256: Yep! I know Switchfoot's a Christian band. : ) I just thought the song suits Divergent. : )**

**Lauren: I'm glad you love the story! Thank you! : )**

**Guest: Thank you for your encouragement, I appreciate it a lot. : )**

**Thecrazygirl: Hahaha that's funny! Glad you like that chapter : ) I liked it too.**

**113: Seems like a lot of you hate Eliza…hmmm… of course I know why! ;) Thank you for your support! : )**

**Jealoustobias: Hey : ) Thank you so much! : )**

**That's all for tonight (well here in my place it's 9:45 p.m.) til next time! **

**-Iris**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine: The Only Way**

**Eliza's POV**

"I'll take you to your apartment." Tobias says when his former initiates have gone. I thought he will take my hand with his, hold it tight and look me in the eyes with understanding. But he doesn't. Instead, he turns around with his hands on his pockets and begins walking away…from me.

Well let's be fair, then. If he's going to ignore me until we reach my apartment then I'll do the same. As he walks, I just follow him. I am behind him. No words. No touching. I'm just before him and my arms are crossed. I don't want to burst in here, in this hallway. But it is in my face that I want to shout at him—that I want him to know how insane I am until now—that I hate him for _not _defending me against that girl. I _did _want him to defend me. He _should _have defended me. He should have because I am _his _girlfriend!

And I want to scream right now. Scream at him. I don't care if people will hear me because I just have the right to do that. Who wouldn't feel this way? Who says I'm crazy for attacking that girl, for getting jealous, for exploding? And who wouldn't get mad when you just had a fight with your opponent then yet your boyfriend just stood there, stopped it, but didn't protect you? Thinking all about it as we prolong makes me feel like I'm not even special to him. In fact, I'm having this sensation that ever since that Stiff came here in the Dauntless compound—ever since Tobias has been her instructor and she became his initiate, Tobias doesn't find me important anymore. That thought makes my cheeks hot.

He stops in front of my apartment. At first, none of us still says a thing. I stand before the door, still with my arms crossed while Tobias's eyes are nowhere—his _mind _is nowhere.

When the silence becomes awkward, I break the curse.

"So what? We're just going to stand here?"

His eyes furrow as he parts his lips.

"Get in."

I snort, wanting to annoy him. I want him to burst, too. I want him to cooperate with me—to say everything that he wants to say because that's probably the simplest way of making him _tell _all of it. All that happened that night and everything else since the last few months.

"That's all? You'd ask me to get in and when I do, you'd leave? Is that how—"

"I said, get in." I hear impatience in his voice but he hides it. "I'll follow. We have to talk."

_Oh yes. We really do have to talk. We have to clear this out and I am feeling the need to slap in your face that I still have a much bigger impact in your life than that Stiff does—just in case you have forgotten._

I roll my eyes and uncross my arms. I step forward the door and twists the knob open to get inside. In less than five seconds, Tobias follows. He closes the door behind us, making the room fall in silence. I expect to feel him coming close behind me to hug me in my waist to lean close against me to press his lips to my ears to say the words that I long to hear the most, "I'm sorry, okay? I love you, you know that." But I seem dumbfounded for expecting that because it didn't come.

He stays there at the door, I know although I am not facing him, and this hush that's covering us is like a contest of who can speak at the first place, of who can say something accurate, of who can prove anything that has sense.

And since I am the one who has more right to be angry, I decide to better break the ice.

However, just when I'm about to do that, Tobias takes the turn.

"What did you do?" he asks.

I almost laugh. What did _I_ do? _**I**_? So what is he trying to say? That I was the only one who brought up that fight? That that Stiff did nothing to hurt me back, that she was innocent all this time, that she doesn't have any bad intentions? Why? Because she came from Abnegation? I just really want to laugh. And when I do, I will shout at him next.

"I don't get it Tobias." I say, my voice sounds soft at first. Then I turn around, facing him. That is when I let out a hysterical laugh. "I don't understand how you can bring me here in my own apartment and tell me that you want to talk but rather you will only blame me for all of it!"

When I say that, my pitch becomes higher. And before I realize it, I'm already yelling. I am blowing up.

"For God's sake, Tobias! For God's sake! How can you put me through this? How can you, ha?! I am your girlfriend! We've been together for two years now—take note of that—_two years! _But what? That night when we were avoiding each other, that night when something is messed up between us—you took advantage of it and stacked yourself with that girl!"

"Why do you have to take this issue too seriously?!" he finally retorts. "Why do you have to make it worse by making an attack and make it happen at the Chasm? Didn't you think that a lot of accidents have already happened there, ha? What if—"

"What if _what?! _What if _I _throw her off the railing? What if _she _falls and dies? What if I lose my mind and push her there hard then she—"

"Can you hear yourself? Can you hear what you're saying, Eliza, ha, can you? You're making it appear more awful than it should be through your own character! You're deprecating your own self, telling me that you _can_ actually do that. You're making it seem like I'm favor of her side when you don't actually know anything about my point of view and my feelings. In other words, you are _predicting _me. You are assuming my insights. You want to read my mind in your own terms, in your own way of thinking. And you know why you do that? Because I'm beginning to realize that maybe I was right."

My heart pounds when he says the last line. I do feel apprehensive with how insane we've become since we walked in here but there is no turning back. He has something to say—and that something must be the reason why he left me at his apartment the other night. He's been hiding it from me. He's been hiding _a lot _from me.

"Maybe I was right that you—who's my girlfriend for two years now—you're right with that—_doesn't _deserve me." His voice suddenly becomes silent. "That maybe you always find a reason to turn things around. That you want to twist every single thing to make up a purpose when truth is, everything is just normal. It's like you want to make it hard between us—make it hard for _me_—because you know that you carry a title in my life with you. And you take advantage of that to get what you want. That, Eliza, is what I find as _selfish_."

I scowl at him and at the same time, I cross my arms, believing that if I do that, he'll be able to see that I have something to guard here. I don't want to find him right. Part of me fancies to prove him wrong, to put out what I mean to say. But something hits me before I could do that. I figure out that if I let my tongue talk more, what he just said will actually turn out correct. That I'm just twisting it all around. That I'm only doing this to feed my longings, my needs. But despite of that realization, I can still sense that I have something to fight for.

And I don't care of what he's going to think because he's been seeing me that way for a longer time now.

"Selfish…" it comes out of my mouth. "So you call it selfishness, Tobias? Can you blame me? Can you blame for _just _desiring you to be all mine? For me to be your only one? For us to remain as we are like two years ago? Can you—"

"Eliza," he says his voice back to normal. "When will you realize that since we became together, you are my only one? When will you put in your mind that I never cheated on you? That it didn't come as a plan for me to find another girl while you don't know? Tell me. Tell me now. Because it makes me feel like you don't believe that I can stick to one, just stick to you."

"I do trust you!" I sound desperate. "I do! But I can't help but to think sometimes why there is a fine line between me and that girl! Why there is a basement between the two of us! Why there is—"

"Tris," he says. And I hate the sound of it coming from his lips. "So you're saying that while I have a responsibility on you as your boyfriend, I also have one on her. As what? As her boyfriend, too?" a hysterical laugh escapes from him. "And why do you think so? Because we've formed an instructor-initiate bond? Because of that kiss the other night which was actually only an accident? Is that why?" He flies a hand over his forehead. "Eliza, this is exactly my point. This is the matter with you."

"But I don't like her! Why can't you understand that? I don't like that girl! And I don't want her coming near you, near us! And if she dares to do a single move to get you from me—"

"What? What are you doing to do?"

I don't have time to think. And if it's for that girl, I really won't think anymore. What I say is what hits her.

"I'm going to harm her." I say bitterly. "And she'd get what she deserves. In that way, she will learn her lesson and get rid of you. That's what I'm going to do."

For the second time, Tobias moves his head to the right, at the wall. I've memorized that act already. That's the kind of thing that he does when he's growing impatient and when he's trying to bite back something that he wants to say. And by now, I assume that he's holding it back. He's seeking to be cautious. But I can't tell why. He's just…hard to read sometimes.

"You won't do that." He says it quietly but it sounds real. "You won't."

"You cannot prevent me from doing anything that I want. What if I say that I will? What if without you knowing, I will just suddenly—"

"Then that _is _pathetic already."

The words that have to follow quitted. I stare at him with my mouth open—probably from disbelief—and I realize that he says that line while he was looking back at me again. So to speak, he really did want to say the word "pathetic" in my face for either two reasons. One is that perhaps he wants me to stop squabbling and just get over it, and the other one is that he wants me to know a _fact_. So I'm…pathetic? He thinks I'm pathetic? He thinks I'm—

"You know what I think, Eliza?" he asks but I know that he's not waiting for an answer so I don't.

"I think you shouldn't have reacted that way. I think you should have gone to me first and confront me about it in whatever way that you want and I wouldn't deny that it happened. In fact, I was also planning about telling you about it. It just went off like I hadn't done it earlier because I'm trying to be cautious—I admit—because I want things to stay normal. But knowing that you that's how you response into situations that you aren't even assured of…I'm really thinking that something is wrong with you. And…"

He breaks off, and I know what does that act means also. He has something to say but is thinking twice if he'd let it out or let it leave.

But he doesn't. He prolongs with the words.

"And I suppose that we need a break. I'll give you time to think, to clear your mind. Then maybe when you've formed things up, we can talk again."

I fall silent, my jaw clenched. I cannot believe my ears. We've had misunderstandings and arguments before—during the last two years—but we never ended with _a _break. Just now. And I blame that Stiff for this happening…_hard_.

I thought Tobias has something to add. For five seconds or more, we stand there, inches apart from each other, nobody speaking. Until at the last count on my head, he turns away from me like he's not hesitating to do so and I have to stop him—at least.

"Where are you going?" my voice demands as he reaches for the door.

Without looking at me, he holds the knob and keeps his hand there. I wait for him to response before he goes.

"Anywhere."

It's just a brief answer. I want to hear more from him, want him to tell me where he's leading so somehow, I can make myself believe that he wants me to find him in case I've made up my mind. But as I anticipate for him to speak more than just "anywhere", he twists the knob open and walks out. Without looking back. Without deciding if he'd actually do it. He just did it.

And I'm left behind, still with my arms crossed, angry eyes, hard feelings.

I feel nothing else but rage.

Peter was right with what he told me.

And by now, I just want to scream.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

My friends surround me here at the same dormitory we stay at during initiation. The clash that occurred between me and Eliza just lasted about fifteen minutes ago. However, unlike her, I've come to grow tranquil even before we separated ways. With what I saw when she and Tobias went away, she was still scorching about me, _because _of me. And unlike her, I don't want to waste my energy by flashing back to that scene at the Chasm. I don't want to think any of it. It just came to me a while ago that since the previous days, I ought not to do anything to harm Eliza. I didn't come to think that I _will _do what I did to her and that it will arrive at that point.

But I just did what I had to do. I don't care if she's a bit taller than me, if she's first to step on the Dauntless compound before me, and most of all, if she's Tobias's girlfriend. I've held myself the other day—when Peter bullied me. I've tried to control myself that time and I succeed but with Eliza? With the straight-forward assault that she did? I don't think I still had to resist a response. I had to move.

My friends allowed me to sit at my bed for a while, to collect my thoughts. And I feel much obliged that they did that because right now, I can already foresee that they're going to raise questions regarding about the recent happening. When I look at each one of them, I see both concern and curiosity in their faces. Even Christina and Will who're aware—and the only people I've confessed my feelings for Tobias with.

"So…Tris, are you okay now?" Zeke asks, finally breaking the silence.

I clear my throat and look at him, then at everyone else.

"I've been okay since the last few minutes. It's just that…I don't feel like talking…a while ago."

"What about now? Do you feel like discussing about it?" Shauna inquires.

"Yeah... you know… share it with us. Tell us what was really that all about and why that freak attacked you."

It's Marlene.

And I begin feeling tense. I don't know where and how should I begin. Shall I start with declaring to them the same thing that I did with Will and Christina? Shall I pretend that I have no idea when really; I know that's it about the accident that happened the other night? How will they react about it? Will they see me differently? I…I don't know.

"Uh… I…" I stutter, and seeing that their focuses are all on me, I can't go on with what I'm planning to say.

But good thing, Uriah knows how to make me feel easy. He always does.

"Hey, Tris…it's okay. You can tell us anything. And we can protect you from that girl anytime, when she loses her mind again and plans to score on you. We wouldn't let that happen again. We're here, always here—remember?"

From Uriah, who has a forthcoming disposition ever since, I shift my eyes to Will, Christina, Lynn, Zeke, Shauna, and lastly—Marlene. They look at me with agreement. They look at me like, "Uriah is right." And that realization helps me to believe that I shouldn't play this difficult for them because they won't be guessing for a long time. Besides, we've come to this point. _I've _come to this moment when I have to be informed that I shouldn't be keeping these insights only with myself. That I couldn't carry these just all alone. That there are people who're with me and I have to take that as a gift. That even though this world, this society of ours is full of doubts and uncertain choices, I have _them_, and that I can count on them. They deserve much better from me. They deserve my trust.

"Tris?" Uriah says.

I arouse myself. I clutch my hands at the bed sheet and part my lips to begin—I mean… to continue.

"This is what it's all about." I say.

And just when I've said the words that I can't take back, I make no wavering anymore and just tell them. I let them know that I wasn't sleeping yet that night and that I was still wandering around the hallways while they were asleep already. Then abruptly, I saw the cameras that flicker a yellow light that made me suspicious since I presumed that they should be turned-off once initiation is over. I tried to get a ladder which was only near the dormitory of the Dauntless-born initiates. I climbed up there, at the first camera that caught my attention. I inspected it, eager to find out if something was going on then it happened that… that Tobias was also awake that night and _shoot! _He caught me up that ladder and was commanding me to get down—which actually annoyed me because he didn't have the right to tell me what to do and most especially because he wasn't my instructor anymore—and then when I found out that coincidently, he had a task to accomplish with the cameras, I told myself that _Fine, I'll do what he says so_ but because I wasn't careful—I was reckless as I am—the _thing _happened.

As I finished, I see exactly what I expected to see from them. Shocked. Jaws dropped. Eyes on me. I swallow hard.

"But…but it didn't happen on purpose." I say, my voice trying to defend. "I didn't have…I didn't have any intention to do something like that. I've always known. I've always known that he has a girlfriend."

For a second or two, they remain quiet. The silence kills me, makes me anxious. I'm afraid that they're angry because I didn't tell them about it…before.

However, Shauna takes a turn to talk.

"Okay…we got the point. You slipped off your foot on one of the steps and…and he had to save you—of course. And then…_it _just happened. None of you even thought that you would actually fall back on the floor. But…" she narrows her eyes. "How did Eliza found out about it?"

"Well…maybe Four told her about it. You know… I think it's a "couple thing". Boy tells the girl because he doesn't want any secrets then girl gets mad because…well…because that's how women usually react when they find out that something is going on around that concerns about the relationship." Lynn says. And we all look at her. She talks as if she isn't female. She talks as if she isn't part of those "women". But we just ignore it since we knew that it's in her nature to talk that way.

"I'm…I'm thinking otherwise." Zeke disagrees. "Look. You said that the cameras were open, right?"

I nod.

"And if they were, then it only means that…that someone was responsible for them. That someone must be controlling their function and have seen _it _happened."

"So you're saying that that person who saw it was the one who told Eliza about it?" Shauna asks.

"Exactly. I knew Four. Well…I believe that I do. I've memorized him enough to assure you that he isn't the type who'd go direct in a sudden. If he was planning of letting his girlfriend know about it, he'd probably save it for a few days until he's collected his deliberation. And have you seen his reaction when he came at the Chasm? He seemed unaware that Eliza will actually do that to you. He couldn't reflect to the outcome. So to speak…if he wasn't liable for Eliza's knowledge about what happened, then someone else is."

"Who?" Marlene and Shauna say at the same time.

"I think it's…Peter?" Lynn guesses. "Well…he's always had bad tendencies. It's possible."

"I doubt it." Christina says. "He couldn't go there without the _keys_."

Christina's idea is giving me a hint. She is right. Peter cannot have them on his hands unless he has an intention to have them. The only people in this compound who have the keys for the most confidential places are Tobias and…

"_Eric," _his name suddenly blurts out of my mouth.

"Right!" Christina says in unison.

"Eric…" they say.

"Yes, Eric. Like, duh? If it's not Four who's in charge in the control room, it only has to be that pesky human being. And it's not impossible if you'd look at it. He always has a reason to do evil things, and I can read it well that he told Eliza about it—or perhaps even _showed _Eliza the footage since he was the one who witnessed it at the control room—and he did that because he wanted you and her to fight, which was actually granted—and lastly because he—"

"He wants to trap Four in between because he always want to be better than him although he's already the leader in this compound. What a jerk." Lynn says.

"And as a result, that freak—Eliza suddenly became a jealous drama queen who has been out of action for attacking you."

Christina switches her eyes on me, and raises a brow. I ignore it. She always has that way of making me feel uneasy. Maybe it's because she still has that Candor-temperament and it'll never go.

"Also," Marlene says, "at the Chasm, she was saying things like, 'Stay away from my boyfriend, from us' as if _you _really do have intent to do so. Why was she getting too paranoid? Like c'mon, she didn't even hear the aspects right from Four."

And that is where my other secret will be revealed. This is the point where they will find out the truth—the truth that I'm feeling something…something special for Tobias…but at the same time…because of what happened…I must keep a distance.

When none of them shares an idea about Shauna's wonder, I figure out that perhaps I must tell them…now.

"Uh… actually… if you're…speculating about that thing… I think it's time for you—guys—to know about…"

I look at Christina and Will. I want to ask them for their notions about this but they can't cope up with me. On the contrary, Zeke and the rest are waiting for me to continue. I take my attention back at them.

"It's about… uh… my… my feelings for…_Four_."

Shauna bites her lips. Marlene clears her throat. Uriah's brows rose, not expecting for me to say it, Lynn crosses her arms, and Zeke breathes in then out. Will and Christina did nothing, of course. They knew.

"I know I didn't tell you—"

"Yeah you didn't." Marlene defers. "And I didn't think of it either."

"She must be acting so well. You know…must be hiding it for so long now." Lynn says.

"Probably. So…since when are you keeping it from us? Do you already like him even when we're still on initiation?"

Just when Shauna asks that, the rest of the questions follow and I get all commotion, not knowing which to answer first. I can tell that they are bothered; that they think it's unfair of me that I didn't let them know since they are my friends. Even more when they found out that I've told Will and Christina about it at the first place. They feel like I don't trust them and that I doubt the friendship that they are giving me. And suddenly, I lost all words to explain. To tell them it's not that way. But I feel grateful that Christina speaks up for me.

"Calm down guys…it's not like Tris doesn't see you as friends. She just…she just also told us about it three days ago. And it's no big deal now. She told you about it, and now we all know about it, and to argue regarding of that issue is not what we need to do right now."

"Yeah," Will says, "Because of what happened at the Chasm today, Tris needs to guard herself. Eliza shouldn't know about how she feels or else she'd do something worse than what she did."

"So…" Shauna says, thinking of a way.

"I have an idea!" Marlene sounds excited like she doesn't care anymore if Will and Christina found out about the secret before they did.

"Since that girl is being such a paranoid pansycake that Tris will steal her boyfriend away from her…then…we should make her think otherwise! Make it appear like Tris doesn't really give a damn about them, that Four is all hers, and Tris has her own business to care about."

Lynn snorts. "And how will we do that?"

Marlene smirks. And we just stare at her. "C'mon!"

We look at one another, having no clue of what her plan is. And I'm not actually sure if her plan will work or it will only get worse but if this is happening because they are willing to help then I think I shall give it a try.

"You, Tris." She says. Then she looks at Uriah, who has his hands on his pockets. "And you, Uriah."

Uriah parts his lips. "Me? W-what about me?"

"Yeah…" I say. "What do you mean?"

"You two. You have to collaborate if you want to make the plan work."

Christina laughs. It seems like she gets the idea first before anyone else. Then suddenly, Will join her. And Zeke does too. Then sooner, Shauna and Lynn are already laughing with them. I am the only one left who doesn't get the point.

Finally, Marlene stops playing games and stares at me. There she says her proposal about the situation and I've gone speechless.

"You and Uriah will pretend that you're a couple."

**A/N: Questions regarding about Chapter 10:**

**What do Tris and Uriah think about Marlene's idea? Will they be able to make it work? And what will Tobias **_**feel **_**and **_**think **_**if he sees Tris and Uriah being closer to each other and being lovey-dovey which they never do before?**

**4K words my fingers hurt! Gonna massage them later haha : )**

**-Iris**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten: Why**

**Tris' POV**

I feel my hands sweaty when Marlene told me what her plan is. I look at my friends and they are still laughing then my eyes found Uriah who seems okay with the plan but me… I try to imagine it. Me and Uriah as a couple? I mean me and Uriah going to pretend that we're _a _couple? But we're more of as friends. Better off as friends, in fact, and I doubt that neither Tobias nor Eliza will believe that there's something special between me and Uriah.

"So what do you think, Tris?" Marlene inquires when I've been quiet for a long time.

I scan my friends' faces.

"Uh… it's not that I think it's a bad idea, Marlene but…"

"But?"

"But… what if it doesn't work? What if they wonder how did it happen when since the last few months or last few weeks, I and Uriah didn't even seem like a couple?"

"Oh, Tris, that's not a problem."

Marlene always has plans. When you look at her, the image of a person who doesn't run out of tactics is what you will see. Although a plan sounds impossible, you can expect her to prove you wrong. And I think, in that way, she's a true Dauntless.

"All you guys have to do is to act like _it_. When your acting is good, they won't question your status anymore. Instead, what they will see is a _very _happy and a _very _compatible couple. And then… they will just mind their own business and forget about what happened at the Chasm today. Soon, that hogwash girlfriend of Four will get rid of it and she will realize that she's been so stupid for what she did to you."

Zeke taps his chin. "That sounds like a good idea."

"And _exciting_. It's not just Tris and Uriah who're going to pretend, guys. But we too. We also have to act like we already knew about their relationship before everyone else and that, we were the only ones who're aware since initiation. But now that initiation is over, it will turn out like Uriah and Tris are already free to act like an actual pair. And like what Marlene said, you just have to act like it. Act well. And they will believe. You're a genius, Marlene." Christina says.

"Yeah, very Erudite of you." Uriah says and it sounds like a tease.

Marlene rolls her eyes on Uriah's direction. "Whatever, Uriah. You are a part of this. So you have to perform well and of course… make Tris feel comfortable."

"Of course I will." Uriah looks at me and smiles. I don't know why this idea seems like a piece of cake to him while in my part, I doubt my acting skills and that I just might screw it up and won't be able to hack it with him. But I just try to smile even just a little. Soon, when we begin playing our roles, who knows that perhaps I might grow comfy and the acting will just come out as natural. Besides, Uriah is my friend. I trust him. I trust him that he wouldn't leave me hanging on a core.

"So… are you convinced already, Tris?" I see Will talks at the corner of my eye.

"It wouldn't be that difficult, I assure you." Marlene says. "And nothing ghastly will occur. You just have to act and that's it."

"But… for how long will we do that?" I ask, wanting to prepare myself if anything turns around.

"When Eliza is done with her suspicions. We'll see how it goes."

"And when do we begin?"

"Hmm… when…" Marlene puts her hands on her waists and stares at the ceiling. But before she could decide, Shauna says her suggestion.

"What about tomorrow? At breakfast? What do you guys think?"

"Tomorrow…" Zeke says.

"But they don't have to be clingy all the time. They just have to act when Four and Eliza are around or neither of them is." Lynn mutters.

"Yeah, right. Tomorrow will be good. I'm pretty sure that they will come at the dining hall. We just don't know if they're going to be together since you know… maybe they had a 'misunderstanding' about the issue… but that doesn't matter! When you see a sign of Four or Eliza coming, and then start doing your part."

"O-okay…" I say. The idea is kind of growing with me…at least. "If it's for the good."

_For the good. _It echoes in my head. I have to pretend that I'm in correlation with Uriah, who's one of my friends, and I have to avoid coming close to Tobias _for the good_. Is it going to be uncomplicated? Is what I'm going to do will make me feel better? Or worse, I'd only see the _fact_ more that Tobias doesn't really give a damn about me? Of course. He must hate me now. I can only guess that he and Eliza fought again, argued about that footage the other night. And I can imagine that as they quarreled about it, one of them—or maybe both of them—have mentioned my name. I am involved there so therefore, I'm one of the reasons. Oh correction… I _am _the reason. What's more, if it happens that they break up and begin avoiding each other again, I'm the only option that they have to blame. Yes, I'm already aware that Eliza hates me. She's never denial of that fact. But to know that Tobias hates me because I have something to do with their disintegration… that's another story. He loves Eliza so much. He's loved her for two years now and ever since I found out that they were together, I already have this prediction that sometime in the future, they will get married and form a family. Why not? During my initiation, I frequently see them being so sweet anywhere. You couldn't find them arguing over things or being apart for too long. They find time to be with each other and when they are, you would really see how in love they are. I've been seeing that for a lot of times now and I've felt a lot of pinch in my heart already but still, I had to conceal it to avoid any conflict, to avoid being a third-party—which, I think is I am _now_. It has come to this point. And I wouldn't be surprised if Tobias will be staying away from me starting tomorrow or so. Because at the same time, that's what I have to do also. But the painful thing for me here is that we have different objectives of why we need to shun each other.

If I have to stay away so that he and Eliza won't argue about me anymore…

Tobias, on the other hand, has to stay away because…

Because he doesn't want to _lose _his girlfriend.

I shut my eyes on that thought.

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

Yesterday was sick. A mess. It was rumbled.

When I left Eliza at her apartment last night, I didn't come to think of coming back anymore. And today, I am not planning to drop by her apartment to talk about the same matter again nor asking her to come with me to breakfast. It's just going to be awkward, I can already see it. I've said a lot of things to her yesterday which I've never said before—and those things that came out of my lips were probably what she didn't thought I'd say. But I have not helped myself. I couldn't just stand there and play innocent as if I'm _scared_ to stand up for my insights because what? Because she'd throw things on me, shout at me, and push me out of her door? I've long since learned that in a relationship, you really couldn't avoid that. And sometime in the future, I and Eliza might encounter more of that—probably worse. If we just see things easy on us by the moment when we're not yet reaching the next stage, then how will we face the other challenges coming ahead?

But as of now… well, as you can see…

Out status is unstable. I told her that I'll be giving her time for a while to make up her mind. She might decide if she still wants to continue this relationship or just let go since for a week, we had two misunderstandings. The first one was just 'avoiding one another the whole day' but the second one that followed—which was yesterday—had shouting and all. I believe that we should apart…unless choices aren't made.

When I've done shower and putting on my clothes, I leave my apartment. _7:35_ a.m., my watch says. There must be people on the dining hall by now.

I pass by Eliza's apartment but I don't look at it—even just a glance. With hands on my pockets, I just walk along to the hall. Also, I didn't hear anything from there. If I'm not mistaken, she's still on bed _or _she doesn't have any plan to show up today because of what happened yesterday. Everyone must be talking about her until now since she has burst such anger at the Chasm and I don't think she'd like to hear those whispers. Eliza never liked people talking about her whether she's around or not. So I suspect that she won't get out of her room unless the matter has passed and of course… unless we're not alright.

I walk in the dining hall. Zeke, together with his friends, have come first before me. I just glance at them, not wanting to meet with anyone's gaze but I've caught Zeke's attention before I could completely turn away so he lets out a small smile. I return it. And he goes back to talking with Shauna, who's sitting next to him.

They've fried hotdogs and eggs at the pan on the stove, I notice. But I'm not on the appetite to eat them so I just get myself a plate of toasts and find myself a seat. As I begin eating the first one, I detect that since I came in here, Tris isn't with Zeke and the rest on their table. I try to look for her over their place, at Christina's side but there's no sign of her. Won't she go to breakfast today? Why, then? Probably because… she expects to see me and Eliza this morning and she doesn't want to be the center of attention? But that's not what she did before when Peter, Drew, and Al almost threw her at the railing down to the rocks. The next day after that happening, she went in off the dining hall and has made it until breakfast ends. Although she hasn't moved on yet to what happened to her the night before that day, and although she knew that she would see Peter, she still came; only that she played vulnerable because that's what I told her.

But what if she doesn't come today? What if she's thinking that she has no face to show?

If in five minutes or more that I see no signal of her coming in, then it could mean that she's forgotten about what I told her and that she doesn't reflect to it anymore.

When I'm down to my second toast, I hear someone enters. Quickly, I lift my head to see who is that… oh… who they _are_.

My brows haul up with what I witness.

_Tris and Uriah. Together. Holding hands. Side by side. _

Am I… am I seeing this right? Two of my former initiates who don't show any affection like this during initiation are… are being that close to each other? As far as I can remember, they are just friends. _Just friends_. I've never seen them like that since the last few months, weeks, or days. I rarely see them together; rarely see them holding hands. In fact, they never do that before. I just see it now. _They just did it now._ What does it mean? Are they a…

"Hey love birds!" I hear Marlene say. "You two didn't come here with us, ha. What are you guys up to previously?"

_Previously? What are they previously? The last thing I know, Uriah wrapped his arm around Tris' shoulders yesterday and I believed that it was only a sign of friendship and not anything else. But…I heard it. I just heard it. Marlene called them as "love birds"._

I hear Uriah chuckles. "Tris was still sleeping when we're all awoke already. I decided to not wake her up first because she must need more sleep."

"We see… here. Have your breakfasts." Shauna's voice.

So they've been a couple since initiation but aren't just showing it in public? That I'm not certain but it's how it sounds like. I want to look at them right now—even just a glance—but if one of them catches me looking, they might think otherwise. So instead of watching, I just listen to them talk.

And as I do, my awareness has taken off from their chatter. I hear a female voice call my name by the entrance.

I lift my head to see who that is and I smile.

"Lauren," I say.

"Hey Four," she sits reverse from me. "How are you doing? Haven't talked to you for a while."

I pick up a toast. "I know. And I rarely see you around. What are you in to since these days?"

"Well…" I catch her rolling her eyes. "You know it already. During the times that I want to take a break, Eric will call on for assistance as if he's not familiar with everything that goes on at the control room."

I press my lips on the mention of that bastard's name. Lauren spots it.

"And… I _do _know why he isn't asking for you although your backing is vital at his scheme. That is why I was asking you how you are doing."

From the plate, my eyes move to her way.

"You do know?"

"Yeah, he told me about what happened. He said—"

"I can't believe his mouth still functions after what I did to him. He really has a problem when it comes to shutting his mouth, doesn't he?"

"Hey, it's okay." Lauren pats the back of my hand. "He just got served. After that entire he's done, he must realize that he's caused a muddle."

I raise a brow on Lauren. "You also know about—"

"Yeah. Like what I said, Eric told me about it. And when I've heard about the conflict that occurred between Tris and Eliza… I thought perhaps you'll need a company. And with what I can see right now… you really do need it. Your girlfriend isn't around. Your initiates have their own thing. What do you think you're going to do? Eat breakfast alone? Four, that'll kill you. So I came here. Want to talk about it? Or let's just… leave it behind?"

Lauren removes her hand off of hand.

"I prefer to not discuss about it. My mind's not yet in place. Likewise, by now, I'm not sure where our relationship stands and where does it go after yesterday."

Lauren nods.

"Well… none of us can tell. But I hope I won't see you so upset, Four. I mean…for too long. But at the same time… I…" she hesitates. "I've… I've got to be honest with you that if ever you and Eliza will… uh… end it…"

My eyes straighten on her, on what she's saying. She presses her lips and clears her throat, probably thinking if she'd continue or not but I allow her to do so.

"Go on," I say, sounding casual.

"Uh… if you two end it… like what I'm saying… I would rather be… be… be… _glad._"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's true. But not in the way you think. What I'm just trying to tell you here is that… in my opinion, Eliza isn't… you know… the girl I can picture with you in the future. I'm not being mean here, Four, but… I don't know. We've been in the same class during initiation two years ago but if you could see, I and Eliza have never grown to be so close. We aren't even friends, in fact. And… I don't think things will work out between the two of you for two years more because… well because… your characters don't reflect."

When Lauren has said what she was trying to hold back recently… she seems alleviated. She folds her hands on the table and leans back on the chair, looking at me, waiting for me to response to her honesty which I didn't expect from her when she comes in of this hall.

I take a bite on my last toast.

"Sounds like a Candor talking."

As I say that, I don't sound pissed or angry at Lauren. And I don't why. Should I be scowling at her right now? Should I be telling her, 'You don't have the right to say that because you don't know us.'? But I don't do that. I even seem and sound laid-back.

Then she chuckles.

"I know you don't like smart-mouthed Candors, Four, but I'll take that as a compliment."

And as she laughs, I find myself joining her. Lately I liked the idea of me being alone but now I'm thanking that Lauren has come here to give some entertainment and that she _is _my friend.

"There you are laughing, that's good to see." She says.

"I need to… apart from the situation."

When I finish all of my toasts, I put the plate aside on the table. I look at Lauren who's stopped talking since we were laughing a while ago. I notice that she's looking at somewhere else already, her arms crossed, and her eyes observing. I just watch her. And as I do, she suddenly beams. I furrow my eyes on her and tilt my head to have her attention back but she doesn't look at me.

"Hey, Lauren" I say.

She just glance at me, her lips still curved into a smile, and goes back to what she's looking at.

"Look at them, Four."

I raise a burrow. "Who?"

"Them."

She locks her eyes on me hard then switch them somewhere… somewhere…

Somewhe—

At _Tris and Uriah_.

I hear Lauren laughs in amusement. "I didn't know that my initiate and your initiate are a couple. Look how sweet they are."

I don't want to. I just don't want to. But Lauren's eyes are insisting me to do so. It's like if I don't follow her, she will ask me this in an outward way, 'Why don't you like to look? It's just them.' And yes, it's just them. It's just Tris. And Uriah. And there shouldn't be anything else. So I shut my eyes—because I won't be able to turn back—and shift them to Tris and Uriah's direction.

Lauren's correct. How sweet of them.

Uriah pinches Tris' nose and he laughs when she hits his arm playfully. He gets her a glass and pours juice on it from a pitcher then she hands it to her. I see Tris mouths, "Thank you" and bring the edge of the glass on her lips as Uriah leans to her to whisper something in her hear. When she's put down the glass on the table, she giggles to what Uriah told her. And suddenly, as I watch that scenario—of them being so clingy—I feel the same lurch in the stomach that I felt yesterday when Uriah put his arm around Tris's shoulders. I feel my cheeks hot. My jaw tightened. I swallow hard. And I just want to…

To look away.

Lauren sighs. She continues to watch Tris and Uriah while I… I just bow my head.

"They look good together, don't they?" Lauren inquires.

I ignore her.

"Hey, Four. Still there? Am I talking to you?"

I nod.

She released her back on the chair and leans close on the table, her hands in a fold. I can feel her looking at me. I can sense that she can notice something on me—something different. But I have to act like, 'Hey, yeah I'm still here. I'm not just interested with seeing other couples right now because…'

"Are you alright?" she asks.

I lift my head to see her smiling. Why is she smiling? What is there to smile for?

"What?" I ask.

"What is that, Four?"

I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean?"

She snorts. I really don't get her.

"Stop acting like I didn't see it. Tell me. What was _that_?"

I swallow hard…again. Lauren looks at me as if there is no escape, as if there's a Candor on her. That if I say that it's 'nothing' she will demand 'You're lying!' and will you imagine how embarrassing that would be?

When I say nothing, I hear her laugh.

"I was just saying that Tris and Uriah look good together. What's the matter with that? I mean look at them. They are so—"

"I know, I already saw it."

She tilts her head, observing me. I meet her gaze and tries to stay there—thinking maybe if I do, she will stop suspecting me about something… whatever is it. A lot of people said before that I'm difficult to read so Lauren couldn't read me by now. Well… I hope. I hope she wouldn't mull over my ears which are red. They feel hot.

"You sound annoyed I'm just telling you to look at them."

And she watches them again.

"They look cute."

I can't stand my ears. I wish I can just stand up from this chair without being rude and just walk out without leaving Lauren with wonder what made me go. But the more I stay in this seat, the more I hear Lauren's comments about Tris and Uriah, the more I want to do it.

The more I want to walk out.

"Hey, Four" she calls again.

I don't look.

"_Four_,"

And finally, I look at her.

"What?" If before, I try to sound casual with that word, now I couldn't bear to sound cold.

Lauren smirks at me.

"Don't play too obvious."

I let out a hysterical laugh expecting it will cover the 'obvious' that Lauren is talking about but it pretty seems like it doesn't work with her. She still shoots me with that look—that look that states something—that look that makes me feel anxious.

"So what are you saying?" I ask.

She raises a brow on me and says the words that I've been expecting to hear from her.

"I know that you're jealous. You better hide it."

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews that I received yesterday and for the last few days. They encourage me to write more : ) **

**And by the way, December starts tomorrow…**

**I hope you guys have a wonderful start! Christmas is coming in few weeks! Yay!**

**-Iris**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**A/N: It's the first day of December! What are your plans for a good start? : )**

**-Iris**

**Chapter Eleven: Electricity**

**Tobias's POV**

Before I know it, I'm already laughing with what Lauren has just said. Me? _Jealous? _W-why? And what for? Because Tris and Uriah are being so sweet this morning while I'm encountering a dilemma with my own girlfriend? I don't think there's any reason to be jealous for. With what I've seen earlier, they look so in love—so therefore, why should anyone overreact? _Why does Lauren assumes that I do so by getting jealous _when if you look at Tris and Uriah… they seem… ah how would I say this…

They seem…

_Good together?_

Besides, they were both initiates before and they've undergo initiation together—so to speak, they've met each other's interests, strengths and weaknesses, making them well-matched. Likewise, they're both sixteen. If there is a gap between them, perhaps it's only the number of months that neither of them was born before the other one. And that—is not complicated in their circumstances.

"What's funny? Isn't it true?" Lauren insists, her voice being a little high.

I shoot her a look that states, 'Lower your voice they will hear you' but she doesn't understand the message. The only option that I have here is to act like _Four_, talk like him, and see things—such as Tris and Uriah—like him.

"No it's not true. I have no reason to be jealous."

"Oh really? But lately you gave the impression of a 'guy' who wants to rise from his seat and head over Uriah who's _flirting_ with your _girlfriend_—only that… she isn't your girlfriend. But you were acting like a jealous boyfriend, Four, when you saw Uriah whispering something to Tris. Tell me that isn't jealousy."

I look over my shoulder to watch them again and as I do, I study every move that they do. If this is really a show in a reality—_this_—seeing Uriah leaning close to Tris as if he's going to kiss her lips—then I don't like this show.

Their faces are so close to each other as if they will actually do it and I can feel my jaw clasping as I continue to watch. I can feel my body standing up from this seat to take the exit for the _better_ but the only thing that I can do is, again, look away and hide the paint on my face which Lauren easily notices.

"It's nothing, Lauren. Why am I going to be jealous? You know that I—"

"Uh-oh, Four. I'm sorry but you cannot say 'You know that I have a girlfriend' as an excuse. Because currently, your relationship is in a scratch. And with what I saw in your face when I was trying to put the conversation about you and Eliza, you were avoiding it, told me that you don't want to discuss about it. And then just in one switch of attention, you saw Tris and Uriah on _that _table then suddenly… _there _you are. So… what is it? If it's not jealousy that's covering your face then what else could it be?"

_Envy? _It's just the same as jealousy. But it's the only word that I could come up with. Envious of what? Envious of who? Uriah? I envy him because he can come near Tris and hold her like that which, I know, is something that I could never do to her myself? Envy because the way they look at each other is like there is nobody else and nobody else can come between them?

I… I don't know.

Never mind.

"Can we just change the subject? Just let them. They're a couple anyway so… there's nothing wrong with what they're doing."

I hope I'm right. And I hope I don't lie.

"Well… if you insist. But I'm still suspecting."

Xxxx

Later, when everyone is done with their food, Zeke and his group dismiss of the dining hall. Lauren has left before they do and it was because she reasoned that there is something that she has to accomplish. I look around the room when I hear no more noise or prattle, assuming that I'm the only one left in here. But the moment that I rise from my chair, I realize that there are still people remaining here—at the sink—washing dishes together while giggling.

Yeah… the love birds, as what Marlene has called them.

"You can leave now, you have work right? I can handle these alone." Uriah tells Tris in a concern-boyfriend manner.

"Are you sure? Because it'll be fine. I'll just—"

I don't come to hear the next words that follow for I have taken the exit of the dining hall. However, I'm not planning to go yet. When I take a peek inside the hall, at the sink, Tris is about to leave like what Uriah has ordered her to do. I'm feeling the need right now to talk to her but I just don't know what about. Maybe… about yesterday? Maybe I owe her an apology? Whatever is it, I just _need _to talk to her and when she comes out of the exit, I won't waste the chance.

"Tris," I say.

I notice that it takes her about five seconds before she turns around to look at me. Was she thinking twice if she'd talk to me? As I scan her face, I can read that she's feeling uneasy and she isn't on the mood to converse with me about anything that I called her for. Nevertheless, I don't hesitate to prolong with what I want to tell her. Soon, Uriah will finish the dishes and come here, leaving me with regret that I'm too slow to open my lips to speak so I shouldn't make this slow now.

I toddle closer to her and she resists staying on her feet.

"I… I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I… I wasn't able to come on early time so I could stop the two of you. If I have, then maybe… maybe—"

"Tobias… Ah… I mean, _Four_, it's not your fault. So don't be sorry about it. Besides… nothing so awful has happened and I think you didn't even know that Eliza will come apart in the Chasm where I was so… forget about it."

I nod. Silence comes after since I didn't even think that the first idea that will pop into my head was to say sorry about yesterday. And talking about yesterday, in addition, doesn't make much sense today. So when none of us speaks within the minute, Tris tries to put out a small smile that I haven't returned on time given that she's already turning to leave. But before she could come too far away from me and before I blame myself for not asking her when I have the chance… I seize her arm and says, "Wait, Tris"

She moves her eyes down to my hand that takes hold of her forearm and I feel a wrench of pain when she slowly releases herself off of me. She looks at me casually—probably trying not to be so rude. But I think she only did that because she has a boyfriend and he is just _inside. _I hope that is really and the only reason.

"What is it?" she asks.

"Uh… I just… I just have something to ask you if you do not mind."

She clears her throat and moistens her lips as if she's nervous but I don't know why.

"Go on," she lets me.

I lock my eyes on her before I go on with my question. I'm doing this so if ever she parts her lips to response, I can interpret if her eyes are saying the truth in mine. I can only ask her this once so I want to know what is real and what is not when we separate ways already.

"Are you… uh…" I switch my gaze at my feet, trying to think of a way—a typical way—to ask her so she wouldn't think of the same thing that Lauren has thought of me. When I've come up with one, I shift my eyes back on her and swallow.

"Are you and Uriah together?"

Tris parts her lips to response but there's no sound that comes within seconds. As I wait for her to speak, in my mind, I'm hoping that she'd say 'no' and if I could only control her, I'd make her say it but… she is uncontrollable.

"I and Uriah…" it sounds like a question from her. "We are…"

"Yes," a voice says from my back. "We're together."

I peek over my shoulder to see who is that and find Uriah walking towards Tris. Who else will come in the scene? He was the only one left inside the hall. But he isn't the only one who's responsible to answer me. Tris was the person in query. I was expecting her to tell me _herself _because she's the only one I want to hear the truth from. But as I long to know about it, Uriah smiles at me—more of a warm smile than an annoying smirk—and he puts an arm around Tris' waist.

"Why do you ask, Four?"

Suddenly, I go bitter. Lately I was sounding usual as I talk to Tris but when this guy—_her boyfriend_—comes, I decide that I can't afford to stay that way. I must act like a teacher scolding two of his students who didn't do their homework.

"You're only sixteen." I say. That isn't what I intend to say but it's the thing that approached my mind before I could stutter. "You shouldn't be so gooey with each other especially in your age."

_Ow crap. What am I saying? Do I sound stupid? I think I do. But I don't know what to say._

"But… we aren't doing anything against our age. Besides… she's my girlfriend, and I'm her boyfriend so it's just common in a couple like us to be… to be sweet." Uriah explains. "How about you and Eliza? You're also together, right? I'm sure that you also do things like that."

"But we're eighteen, Uriah. There's a difference."

"I don't think there is, Four. And I thought age doesn't matter in here. _Most _especially when you know which path you are taking and when you do _love _each other."

_Blank. _

I've gone blank. Yes, I remember, I was even the one who said that _age doesn't matter _here in the Dauntless compound. Just like Eric—sixteen—but a Dauntless leader. Well why did I mention that bastard? Never mind about him. As I was saying, I really think that I'm stupid for starting all of this. I'm saying things against the ones that I've said _myself _before.

What a bad move.

"So… if you don't mind… we'll be going now. Tris still has work at the tattoo parlor. Right, Tris?"

I look at her and she looks at me, then look up to Uriah and nods.

Uriah beams at me.

"See you around, Four."

As they turn away, I couldn't help but to feel like picking up a knife and throw it on a wall. Recently, the only preference that I have when I'm having a mixture of emotions and want to bring them out is going to the training room—shoot guns and throw off daggers. And I think I'll be doing that tonight. To at least destruct myself. To at least forget about my and Eliza's quarrel, and lastly, to at least forget these _insane _sensations that I'm feeling for Tris.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

I and Uriah have turned away our backs after we've encountered Tobias. Soon, when we've reached the tattoo parlor, we separated ways. But before Uriah goes, he told me something first that I hated to find as right.

"_How did it go for you?" he inquired._

"_I admit that it's been a little hard for me. You see… I wasn't able to act well as you two were talking about us… our fake relationship. He seemed like he doesn't believe."_

"_I think he believed, Tris. It's just the first day that we're doing this so… it's normal to feel that way. But apart from that, I kind of feel bad for you."_

_I narrowed my eyes on him. "Why will you feel bad?"_

"_Well… I saw how you looked at him earlier. I've pictured the color on your face that one of the reasons why you're scared to act the way we have to in front of him is because… because you love him."_

And I didn't have a response to that. At the same time, I didn't want to state an assurance. If there is something that I'm feeling for Tobias that is more than an admiration—admiration because he's brave and he's saved me a lot of times before—then I will just keep that to myself because I know that he'll never care. But a moment ago, when he asked me if I and Uriah are together, I wanted to tell myself that he maybe, just maybe, he was asking that because he's…

He's….

Jealous.

That maybe instead of having him convinced that I feel no special feelings for him and that I have no reason to come near him since I have a boyfriend, I'm having him jealous. I don't want to assume. But that is what I was hoping and I _am _hoping although I know… it's far from possible.

Xxxx

That night, I and Uriah have a break from the acting that we're doing. When we go in of the dining hall, and when we wait for about five minutes for neither Tobias nor Eliza to come in, none of them did. It is Lauren and Tori who's occupying the table that Tobias and Eliza used to reserve for themselves and that leaves me wondering—_worrying_—where Tobias must be by now. So for the whole time that we're eating dinner, I have no appetite. I rarely touched my food but my friends didn't ask me why and I didn't want them to. I didn't want them—most especially Christina to read me and finds out that despite of the must that regards about staying away from Tobias, I can't oppose but to worry.

I insist myself to finish the food on my plate so they don't have to throw it later. Right now, since I don't have much energy, I think I should get an early sleep. I and Uriah don't even have to act a good deal tonight since Lauren and Tori won't even care if we're being lovey-dovey. Well… perhaps they will or they do but… it doesn't matter. The only main people that we're trying to make-believe with are Tobias and Eliza and by this instant, they aren't around.

I pull back the chair and stand up.

"Hey, Tris, you going to sleep now?" Zeke asks.

"Y-yeah… I'm feeling drowsy now. I'll just see you guys tomorrow."

"But… you just ate." Shauna says.

"Yeah, maybe you'd like to stay for a while."

I shake my head, attempting to pull out a smile. "Thanks but I really want to lie on bed now."

"Oh… okay. See you tomorrow, then."

"See you," I say back.

Soon, when I've taken the exit, my friends' attention is no longer in mine. They go back to their discussion while I—I decide to amble towards the dormitory now.

I reach the hallways through the dorms and I fly a hand on my forehead as I walk in with the darkness. I've been thinking a lot recently, worrying _too much _since this morning. I wonder when I can experience even just ten minutes of my life when I don't have to concern about anything. But with this faction that I chose, I couldn't blame anyone.

I'm almost near the dormitory, just _almost_—but I stop and stand on my feet when I hear a bang of a revolver…somewhere…somewhere near.

I look around my backdrop, searching for the place where the sound might came from.

And then it hits me.

Of course… the only place where you can hear poundings of guns is the training room. But why—in this time of the night—will someone make a noise and scare anyone who's walking here in the hallways? But I'm not actually scared. Perhaps if it's Shauna who hears that sound, she'll be frightened but me… I'm more of curious about who could that be and _why _is he… oh… whoever that is, is firing guns at the training room instead of joining us over at the dining hall for dinner time.

I walk with no hesitation. The training room is not that far from where I am since I heard the sound clearly. I turn to right, and then to left, and then to right again, and the bang of pistol becomes more apparent. It doesn't stop. It just goes on and on and on with making noise across the dark corridors and I, also, just goes on with finding the training room. And as I take step by step, I count the number of fires that I hear.

_One_.

This one's eerie. If I would analyze it, it's like the sound is portraying anger for it to be that loud.

_Two_.

It's the same thing as the first one. But with it, I heard a hint of ache that's longing to be noticed, to be felt by someone who doesn't care. I just don't have a clue on who is that.

_Three_.

This one has more force. It sounds as if it represents confusion, a mind that won't stop playing with what a heart says. A mind that kills. A mind that controls feelings.

I take another step, I'm coming near. I wait for the next bang but within five seconds it doesn't come so I'm persuaded to obtain the last few paces to the training room. And then eventually, when I'm already half present by the door, the batter comes.

_Four._

I place a hand on the wall beside me for support. I flashback to the fourth bang that I heard and tries to interpret what does it wish to say. And then suddenly, my jaw tightens when I figure out that there was something with the bang that is different with the previous ones. If the first one was anger, and the next one that followed states pain, and the third one utters chaos… this… the fourth one… longs to express… _**jealousy**_.

I release my hand from the wall swiftly when I can't take it anymore, when I don't want to hide anymore. I get the last accurate step to the door of the training room and there my stomach twinges with the sight of Tobias having a blade on hand.

I don't know if he feels my presence or he's just trying to pretend that he doesn't hear anyone come because he just focus with the dagger and doesn't have the mind to even _just _glance at the door to see that I am here.

As he picks which knife would he use, I scan the room to find where he was firing guns at. Then nearby the window, I see a man-figured stand that has a lot of holes—has holes everywhere, in fact—which were probably caused by how hard he shoot. No wonder Tobias is _really _good with these things than anyone else—than Eric, to be precise.

When he's chosen the dagger that he would use, I had a circle of choices in my mind. First, should I just turn away now and leave him alone since it seems like it's what he needs? Second, should I walk towards him instead of staying here on my feet, doing nothing, just looking foolish? Third, should I stop him from whatever he's planning to do although I really don't have an idea what is these all about? And fourth, should I offer him some company when true to the point, what I am trying to do is to stay away from him?

I…

I don't know. I don't know what to do and at the same time, I don't know how to act when he catches me standing here by the door. So therefore… before he could become aware of my presence… I'll just walk away. _For the good_, I remind myself again.

"_Tris,_"

It was when I'm just about to turn around that I hear him call my name and I feel my palms bearing cold sweat. I swallow hard and lock my eyes on him, on the dagger, on his hands, on the man-figured stand, then back at him again. I don't want to ask, 'Why' or 'What' because I'm afraid that if I utter a word, my voice might break.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with your friends on dinner right now? Aren't you supposed to be with your _boyfriend _by now… he must be looking for you."

As he says that, he isn't looking at me. There is something with the tone of his voice that I can't construe as what I did with the four fires of gun that he did. Perhaps apart of being good with those weapons, he's also good with secreting emotions that he doesn't want to show unless if it's special person. And I am not a special person for him so I cannot read his voice.

"Uh… I'm… I'm done with my food before them. And… and I decided to leave at the first place before anyone else because… I want… I want sleep already but all of a sudden…"

_And by the way, I decided to leave before anyone else because I don't have the appetite to eat for I'm worried about you._

"All of a sudden… I heard a noise as I was walking at the hallways and I've been… c-curious. I didn't know that it's you. So… you… what are you doing in here?"

Finally, from the dagger that he's tossing on his hand, he shifts his eyes on me.

"Just ensuring if these weapons still work."

_I don't think so. _

I don't believe him. I really don't. His fires earlier were dedicated with emotions, every fire was inferring meaning and now he's denying it—it makes me want to tell him, 'You're a terrible liar, Tobias." But I hold my tongue instead. With the brief answer that he has provided, I could tell that he doesn't want to talk and that means to say that he wants me to leave now so I will.

And when I'm already doing it, when I've almost stepped out of the door, something thwarts me from going.

"Aw!"

Quickly, I get the steps back from the room and I find a scratch from Tobias's palm that's bleeding that I haven't refused but to run towards him, by his side. I've forgotten that I'm in a process of avoiding him, and by this moment that I'm near him, I don't think I still care.

"What happened?" my voice is in panic. "Let me see."

The knife has dropped to the floor when it slides on his palm as he was tossing it. He lends me his hand where the injured palm is and I study how bad the wound is with the help of the evening light coming from the window.

"God you're bleeding! I-I will just get a bandage from the clinic, y-you wait here." I drop his hand, turning away already to get a bandage, but he grasps by arm and pulls me closer to him.

"This isn't too serious, Tris, you don't have to panic."

I look at him through the light from the window and I see how different our expressions are. While I am being so panicky, he just stands there, his hand not on support, as if he's so used with being wounded, as if he's been through this so many times already.

Then I suddenly remember.

I don't have to act as if I don't know why. He… he showed me his fear landscape during my initiation and I've witnessed the beatings that Marcus did to him when he was younger. Therefore, that wound on his palm right now is just chickenfeed to him.

I carefully release myself off of him. "Okay… but… I have to go and get you a bandage at the clinic. Wait here."

He nods.

And I run fast out of the training room, on the way to the clinic where I find Christina and Will. I don't know what they're talking about when I enter but faces of surprise shoot my way when they see me.

"Hey, Tris, we thought you're asleep. What are—"

"Can you hand me a bandage?" I say, bypassing an answer for their thought.

"A bandage… why? Are you injured?" Christina rises from her seat when she asks that but I try to look usual.

"Uh… y-yeah I am… but it's—"

"Where? Let me see so I can help you."

I walk backwards when Christina tries to step closer and she shoots me a look of bewilderment.

"Are you just okay, Tris? You look pale."

"I-I'm just alright, no need to worry." I lie, but of course, Christina spots it. I already expect that she'd say, 'Tell me what is really going on, Tris.' But Will enters the scene with the bandage on his hand and I thank God that he's here.

"Here, Tris."

I accept the bandage from him and say, "Thanks Will." Before I turn to look at Christina again.

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow."

"But Tris—"

But I've already walked out of the clinic and I hurry back to the training room. When I come in, I search for a sign of Tobias. I look around, as in everywhere, to look for him but he's nowhere to be found. I feel a sudden nerve of fear that maybe something worse has happened to him or he went away because it took me time to come back but… I hear his breaths somewhere.

So I toddle across the floor, still searching for him around, but through the darkness covering the room, I find his figure sitting on the ground, near the table of the weapons.

His leg is rested on the surface while the other one is bended and the arm that has the uninjured hand is settled on top of his knee. I sit beside him and show him the bandage that I got through the light.

"Sorry if it took me a while. Christina cornered me a few questions that she was expecting to be answered."

He doesn't response.

"Here, let me." I slur over the subject about my friend. I take his hand on mine and turn it so the palm faces me. I try to be unfussy as I roll the dressing to cover his hand and I try not to think that he must be watching me but I can't help but to feel edgy while we're this close to each other, while his hand is on mine, while we're alone in this four-cornered room, and while nobody knows where we are.

There's something with this phase right now. Something… unusual. Something that makes my hand shake as I roll the bandage for the last time but I try to hide it. Something that makes me wants to look up to him and just stare at him for how long I wish to.

I can feel electricity filling us in this room as our hands stay laced with one another. I don't know if he feels it too but I can't think of it right now.

I'm on fire.

"It's covered now. Does it make your wound less aching?"

He lifts his bandaged hand between his eyes—probably studying how I did it.

"Yeah," he says, bringing it down. "Thank you."

And then there is silence. The more it goes, and the more I remain sitting beside him, the more I feel anxious. I shouldn't be here right now. I shouldn't be on his side right now. I shouldn't _have _come here and he shouldn't have seen me because it's me making me fail with what I have to do. But I don't know. As we stay here on the floor, I realize that it _doesn't _matter anymore. That I've completely left the plan of staying away from him, behind. At this certain moment that we are here, all I know is that nothing else does matter but _us_.

"Aren't you going to the dormitory now?" he suddenly breaks the stillness. "I thought you want to sleep already."

I am aroused by his question. And at the same time, I comprehend that he was having his own business here when I came and disturb him. He must want me to leave now. How idiotic of me to assure myself that I shall stay. Of course he wouldn't wish for that.

"Uh… yeah… right. So…" I hesitate for a second but then I've moved my feet already to rise. However, I am not standing completely yet when Tobias laces his uninjured hand into my hand and pulls me slightly onto his side. That is when our faces meet so close that's making it difficult for me to breathe and to blink. If neither of us moves, we will kiss.

He looks at me straight in the eyes and I cannot look away now.

"I'm only asking you because I want you to stay."

_Stay. _The word echoes in my head. _He wants me to stay. _I never thought that someone will say it right into my face; that someone _needs _me, and that someone will look at me in a way like he doesn't want this moment to end. And most of all, I didn't think that that 'someone' will be Tobias.

"Stay," he says again.

And I nod. I hold his hand tighter.

"I'll stay."

Without letting go of his hand, I press myself against him closer until there's no more distance to call. He doesn't complaint when I slowly lower my head onto his shoulder and let it rest there. Our hands remain tied as minutes pass by and none of talks as we sit side by side at the floor.

It is when I listen to ourselves breathe in this four-cornered room without saying anything that I finally found the place where I belong.

If I could just stop the time.

**A/N: through the process of writing this chapter, I am listening to these songs:**

"**Start of Something Good" by Daughtry**

"**Breathless" by Better than Ezra**

**They suit the most with the scene on the training room between Four and Tris that pushed me to make this chapter long. : )**

**I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. : )**

**Have a blessed day everyone!**

**-Iris**


	12. Chapter Twelve

**A/N: If you were wishing that Four and Tris had a longer moment at the training room, I will put an extension to it through Four's point of view. : )**

**-Iris**

**Chapter Twelve: Nothing but Us**

**Tobias's POV**

The room is dim and the air is cold around us but Tris' head remains rested on my shoulder and our hands don't let go. I can't tell if she's still awake or is already sleeping for all that I hear is her breaths but I don't mind. To have her beside me with this close and to have her hand laced on mine is enough. I don't think I want anything else than this moment and this moment is something that I don't want to last.

I look down at our hands that hold together then I look at her to check if she's asleep. When I see that her eyelids are moving up and down—which is probably because she's blinking a lot—I realize that all this time she's resting her head on my shoulder, she is aware.

I hold her hand tighter. "Tris?"

She rubs her fingers on the back of my hand—an act that is soothing to me.

"Mmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

She continues to rub the back of my hand as she answers, "Of course you can,"

I part my lips to begin but the query doesn't come immediately. Before I could do it, I ask myself at the first place first. _Is she going to be honest with her answer? Does she feel uneasy with me right at this moment? Why did she choose to stay here with me although she already has a boyfriend? Does she feel something for me? What could that be? _If I want to know the responses to all of these questions, then perhaps I should hesitate no more. There is nothing to lose after all.

"How do you feel right now?"

"Right now…" she echoes, "right now I feel… I feel… _safe_. Why do you ask?"

I beam down to her. "I just want to know if you're feeling uptight… because if you are, I'd assure you that there's no reason for you to be. I just want you to stay."

In a sudden that I don't expect, she lifts her head from my shoulder and turns to face me. Her blue eyes glimmer through the dark shades of the room and in there; I see a hint of worry that wasn't current before. With our hands still fastened, I touch her cheek my injured hand and look at her with assurance that everything is alright… at least at this room, everything is.

"What's bothering you?" I ask

"Tobias… uh… I… I like to stay… I do. I don't want to leave you alone here but… but if Eliza finds about this, you're going to be in—"

"Shhh," I say my fingertip on her lips. "Let's not talk about anything else here, Tris. Let's worry about nothing. Let's just say that this moment is ours and it's given to us to make it worth."

I put my finger down her lips with her eyes stating understanding and then I move my hand onto her hair—with our other hands remaining laced—and I lean closer to her as she closes her eyes. I rest my forehead onto her forehead; the warm with our skins attached feels so good, so _right_. We just listen to each other's breaths for a minute and inside that minute I've forgotten the horrifying childhood that I had, the recent events that happened in this compound, the fact that I have a girlfriend and we just fought, and most of all, that this girl I'm holding right now already belongs to someone else. Nothing mattered inside that minute but me and Tris, in this room, together, alone. I wonder if she feels the same.

"Tobias?" she breaks the silence but doesn't let go.

"I'm here," I pledge.

"Can I… can I be the one to ask you something this time?"

I let out a silent laugh. "Sure you can."

She slowly opens her eyes and finds out that I've been staring at her since our foreheads met.

"Why… why do you… why do you want me to stay?"

I search for her eyes although they're already staring into mine, but I only do that because I want her to know that what I'm going to say is what I _really _mean to say and she deserves to hear it right from me.

"The only reason why I want you to do so, Tris…. is because I know—that after this night, I won't be able to hold you like this again."

"I… I don't understand. You already have a girlfriend, Tobias, and you've been together for two years now. But still, why—"

"There are a lot of things that I want to tell you, Tris. _A lot_. They're too much that I don't know where to begin and where to end, and at the same time, I don't know how to say. Maybe there's a right time for you to know and that time isn't now. Maybe you'll find out about it and maybe not but my aim is to let you know and let you _feel_."

She nods. I'm not sure if she does it because she gets my point but I hope, in some way, she understands. And I hope, she will tell me what she feels in return now that I've told her what my insight is, but I won't be pushing her to do so. With her right by my side, I'm satisfied.

"Do you feel like staying this way for a longer time?" she asks me.

"I won't mind at all but if you don't feel relaxed… you can go back on resting your head on my shoulder."

"Okay,"

We let go of our hands so we can go back to our previous location. I lean my back to the table's foot then Tris sits at my left as she rests her head on my shoulder again. I reach for her hand using my uninjured one and she tightens the hold after. We stay that way for how long we want to, for how long neither of us speaks. Soon, when I look down to her, she is no longer blinking. She must be sleeping now, right there at my shoulder. I lean down to kiss her hair.

But by the precise instant that I do that, I catch a shadow that casts by the door. Slowly, I lift my head to see if someone is watching us and across the light coming from the window, I spot a man-figure standing with hands on the pocket, and a foot tapping the floor. _His _hair is tousled and his face—even from afar—is familiar.

"Look what I just saw _right here_ at the training room _right_ at this time of the night."

No doubt.

_**Peter.**_

"The instructor and his former initiate _that _close to each other. What does this mean? You two having a secret relationship?"

I feel Tris lifting her head from my shoulder and her eyes seem sleepy so I can't tell how she will react if she finds out that Peter has caught us here.

"_The Stiff._" Peter says like a tease. "You're awake. Good morning. Uh-oh..."

I rise from the floor before Tris can but she follows me a second after she's aroused with what is going on.

"What do you think you're doing here, Peter?" I ask coldly.

I see that he smirks.

"Am I supposed to be the one who should be asking you that? What are you _two _doing here and why are you two clanged to each other that way? The last time I checked, Four, you _have_ a girlfriend."

"Don't be a meddler like Eric and get out of here."

"What if I don't want to?" He begins to step inside, his hands still on the pockets of his jeans. "What are you doing to do?"

I make a step backward—not so obvious so he won't notice—then I reach the edge of the table where the weapons are and scan the table it using my uninjured hand to find anything that is not beyond my reach. When my hand touches a barrel, I know that I've come up with a gun. Peter walks closer and closer and closer until he can almost reach us—reach _Tris_—but ahead of what he is planning to do, I grip my hand around the gun and bring it out behind me with speed—too fast that Peter haven't protest when I point the barrel on his way, between his eyebrows. He suddenly flies both hands on air on chest's length and stumbles a bit backwards.

"So," he says laughing. "You're going to shoot me with that pistol?"

As he talks, I remember the first time that I did this to him—only that I pointed the barrel right onto his head unlike now that my aim is on his forehead. He's still lucky enough.

"For all your wickedness before and until now, yes I might."

He snorts. "You talk as if that girl beside you doesn't know how to be evil. As if she's—"

I almost press the trigger and I'm pretty sure that Peter hears it click that causes him to step more backwards.

"You're not going to shoot me," he says with a laugh.

Sometimes I'm just thinking that Peter is also afraid of the little things—the things that a lot of people find as simple—but he just hides his fear through laughing or snapping bitter things. Just like right now. I can tell that _somehow_, he's scared that I will actually shoot him bullet to the head.

"I think your arm will be a good part to hit, Peter. I will press this trigger if you don't get out in a minute."

His arms remain on chest's length and he waves them as he says, "Calm down, calm down."

He prolongs to move backwards, the gun still pointed on him so if ever he has a plan on mind that he'd like to do, I can fire the gun right ahead.

"As you wish, I will go now—to leave the two of you here so you can continue with your 'clinging' session and might as well—"

"Get out," I say; my voice sounds calm.

"And might as well take advantage of this dark room so you—"

"I said, get out!"

"Fine, fine" and he laughs again. "Bye, Stiff."

And then he's gone. I bring down the pistol once I'm sure and I turn to look at Tris who's bowing her head, one of her hands on a fist.

"What's the matter?" I inquire

"He really doesn't stop, doesn't he? He really won't get rid of me unless he doesn't get what he wants? He's hitting me! Maybe not physically but he's doing it through finding my weakest point and he _won't _stop if he hasn't found it yet!"

I put the pistol back to the table behind her and then I seize her arm so she faces me. There is hatred painted on her face which wasn't there before Peter came into scene. I put my uninjured hand with care beneath her chin and lift it in right length so her focus's steady on me.

"Listen to me, Tris." I say, "Remember what I told you after _they _tried to kill you?" Although I mentioned no names, I already know that she's aware of whom I'm talking about.

"I told you that when you see a chance, _ruin _them. It doesn't matter if Peter doesn't stop or he doesn't get rid off of you for _now_. What matters is that for how long you choose to be strong and for how long you can handle _him._"

She nods, but I can sense that she still feels disgust for Peter and for what happened recently.

"I believe in you, Tris."

Xxxx

**Eliza's POV**

I lie here on my bed for actually… the whole day. I didn't go out of this room, _ever_, and I don't think that was the best idea. What happened yesterday probably remained fresh to everyone and I'm not on the mood to hear what they have to say about me. But apart from that, I didn't leave my apartment because I don't want to see that Stiff. In fact, I suppose to have work today but since I was assured that I'd only see her face at the parlor, I didn't come anymore. Likewise, I'm waiting for Tobias to approach me at the first place. I hate how he didn't even drop by my apartment to just reassure me that _somehow_, we are alright. But with the things that he said to me the last time, I think he was certain of giving me space to think about our relationship.

For the whole time today, all I did was to eat, eat, and eat. I guarantee that my fridge is has almost ran out food and I once thought that I'm going to vomit and I'm going insane in this room. However, this is just for now. I realize that I can't survive a day in here, it's making me sick. By tomorrow, I'd get out of here and go back to usual and if I have to, I'd avoid Tobias for a while to see how far he can manage to ignore his girlfriend.

As I lie in here and stare at the ceiling—which is one of the only options that I have—as I stay here in my apartment—I hear a knock on the door. It is the first time—today—that someone knocked there and the only person that I can think of who's possibly be doing that is, of course, _Tobias_.

Did he finally realize that he cannot live a day without me, _at all_? Did he finally regret everything that he told me yesterday? If that is really him, I'd jump on him right away.

I drag myself out of bed with speed as the knock goes twice. With excitement, I open the door grinning—truly expecting it'd be my boyfriend but I suddenly frown when I find myself wrong and…

Well… find that Peter is standing in front of me.

_One of Tobias's initiates_, I tell myself in mind, _also, the guy who bullied the Stiff at the dining hall the other day. _I smirk, _I owe this kid for that._

"Peter… right?"

"Right."

"What brought you here?"

"Well… perhaps you should let me in first before I tell you my purpose."

I twitch my lips and say, "Fine, come in, then."

When he comes in, I close the door behind us. This kid is two years younger than me, and I'm two years older than him. We didn't have any connection before expect for the thing that… I like it when he plays hard with the Stiff. I think in that way, we share something in common. I toddle to my bed and sit there, my arms crossed. While Peter… he's looking around my room. The walls. The ceiling. The pathway through the kitchen. The door to the comfort room… everything.

I raise a brow on him. "So… what? Came here to inspect every single thing in my apartment, huh?"

He stops observing and turns to look down at me.

He shrugs. "Not really. I came here to tell you something that I thought you might both _like _and _hate _to know."

When he says that, I suddenly remember what Eric told me before he showed me that stupid footage of Tobias and the Stiff while at the hallways. Now, Peter said the same thing. Does it have any relation with each other?

"What is it about? I prefer you must give me a clue now. I hate to twist a lot of possibilities of what it may be."

He shrugs. "If you want to."

"Go on," I say.

"I know we barely know each other, Eliza… and… we've never had any interaction before… but… since I was the one who _witnessed _the—"

"_Witnessed what?"_

I shoot him a look and he laughs.

"_What?_" I demand.

"Take it easy, you don't know yet. Reserve that look when you finally find out about it."

I bring down my arms from my chest and roll my eyes. I find a more cozy position in the bed.

"So… tell me now." I attempt to sound casual.

He wanders around my room as I wait for him to tell me and as he walks and walks; I'm growing to suspect that perhaps he's just playing games with me. When I'm about to protest already, I bite back my words for he begins speaking.

"I went at the training room earlier. I wasn't planning to get on bed yet so I thought I could entertain myself through shooting off guns there since I'm already a Dauntless member and I have a right to do whatever I want."

"And then?"

"And then…" he turns to his back and look at me. "And then I saw something I didn't expect to see."

With what, I narrow my eyes and cross my arms again. I think I'm having a hint with this already.

"What did _you_ see?" I ask as if I'm expecting him to say what I have in my mind.

"I saw your boyfriend." He says with a smirk. "He's sitting at the floor near the table of weapons. But…"

"But what?"

"But the thing is… he wasn't alone."

_I knew it. I knew it!_

"He's with the Stiff. She was sitting down there beside him. They were drawn—_**so **_drawn—near each other. And you know what she was doing? She was resting her head on his shoulder while they were holding hands… and then..."

"_And then what?_"

He laughs. "And then…he wasn't complaining about it as if… as if he liked what they were doing."

I want to burst. I want to burst and throw anger on Peter himself since he's the only one I can do it with for he's standing before me—he's the only one I can reach. How dare that Stiff can still come near my boyfriend? How dare can she flirt with him even after my attack on her? Hadn't she learned her damn lesson? Hadn't she learned yet?! Does she want me to do something worse on her like eventually breaking her bones? Is that what she wants? I was trying to keep myself here—at this apartment—to able to forget about that damn footage even just for now—to able to forget how Tobias didn't defend me from her yesterday—and then I'd find out that they're together as I keep my feet in this four-cornered room? _How dare you, Stiff!_

"And you know what?" Peter speaks, "He seemed like he doesn't care if I caught them on act. He seemed like he wasn't scared that I might go to you and tell you about it. In short… he seemed like he doesn't care… at all."

I've had enough today and previously. Yes, I want to rupture out of this room and go straight ahead them—that stupid Abgenation girl—but a realization suddenly hits me before I could think of actually doing it. Tobias and I had a terrible argument yesterday and until now we aren't okay—you see… he even had time to cling with that girl but didn't had time to make up things with me. So if I will explode again—right by this moment—which is probably not going to be a good choice—the situation between me and Tobias will only get worse and _worse_, he'd avoid me more. He'd be more convinced to stay away from me. And I won't let that to happen. If I want to hurt neither of them back because of what I found out, then by this time, I must find a better way to do it.

Peter tilts his head on me when he finds me smirking. He must be wondering why I don't seem angry.

"I expected you to eat the steps on the way to the training room to make a scene but… you're just sitting there and crossing your arms and smirking?" He laughs. "Like… _seriously?_"

I raise a brow on him and he looks at me as if he doesn't get what I mean.

"I will get a revenge soon, Peter." I say, "But for the meantime, I have to form a plan."

He shrugs. "Okay,"

"Don't be so calm." I say with a tease, "because I'll be needing you."

"What do you mean?"

"_You_ will help me."

**A/N: As I was writing this chapter and the previous chapters and as I was reading Divergent and Insurgent, I kept on pronouncing Tobias's name as "To-bee-us" when Veronica Roth has already confirmed on her Twitter account that it's read as, "To-bye-us". Haha… also I was pronouncing Uriah as "Er-rah-yah" and I'm used to it already.. ;)**

**Please leave a review of what you think of this chapter. : )**

**23 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS! : )**

**-Iris**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen: I'm All Lost**

**Tris' POV**

It's three in the afternoon, my shift has just finished, and now I'm sitting on my bed here in the dormitory, with Christina sitting opposite from me. She has forgotten that I was such a in a hurry last night when I went at the clinic and I was asking for a bandage quick. She's also forgotten that I lied about my injury and that I told her that I'll be telling her all about it tomorrow. And that tomorrow is today; _now_. To be honest, I was thinking twice if I will let her know or it's enough that Peter was the only one who does. _Right. Peter. _I haven't received any indications yet that regards about his arrival at the training room last night. I was expecting that he'd tell someone about it, tell _Eliza _about it, in fact, but when I and Eliza had gone to the same shift few hours ago, it seemed like Peter didn't even tell her. She wasn't looking at me. She was ignoring me. Well… as always. When did she say hi to me or when did she suppress a smile on me? I think it's natural that she's ignoring me. But still, I have a feeling that what Peter has witnessed will also reach her soon and after that, I don't have to doubt anymore that she'd attack me again.

That is why I felt the need to tackle with Christina and to bring her here in this place where nobody can hear us—I hope so. I want to tell her how it all happened and that I _failed _on what I should do. If I'm not mistaken, Tobias was probably suspecting now that my and Uriah's relationship isn't true at all. And that isn't our goal, _my _goal. I must inform myself that apart from the moment that I and Tobias had at the training room, I still have to make him and Eliza believe that Uriah is my boyfriend. I need to attain that…_back_.

"So…what is it, Tris?" Christina asks when the time for collecting my thoughts has ended.

I search for my friend's eyes and lock my gawk on her. Christina doesn't like it when people lie. She can easily tell me if I'm lying or is denying something. Therefore, I will tell her nothing but the truth. Just it.

"Christina," I begin. And once I do, it all comes out from me. I told her the fires of gun that I heard from the training room and the connotations that they were expressing—which for me, are true—and then my explanation goes to the part where I was about to walk away from the room already to leave Tobias alone but in a sudden, I heard him react in pain—that was caused by the dagger that he was tossing in his hand. And that was when I ran to the clinic, nagging about the bandage.

"I wasn't really injured," I tell Christina. "I was asking for a bandage because Tobias was." I look for a hint of anger on Christina's expression but I found none. Instead, her eyes tell me to continue because she is listening.

And so I draw out. Christina was focused when I told her about the part when I wrapped Tobias's hand with the bandage that Will gave me. For the second time that instant, I was about to walk out of the room, to leave him alone, to remind myself that I was avoiding him—by the way. But when he took my hand with his—which gave me a feeling that is probably electricity—and asked me to stay with him, I… I don't know but I hadn't complaint. Maybe because I wanted too. Maybe because it wasn't really my intention to just leave him there. Maybe because I also wanted to be close with him, to grab that moment just to be with him. And maybe because I felt that way because I love him.

"So… you didn't go and stayed rather?" Christina asks me.

"Yes," I answer, "and we sat side by side, my head on his shoulder and our hands… our hands were laced."

That was when he asked me how I was feeling and the first thing that came to my mind was that I'm feeling safe. Safe with him. Safe with his hand on mine. Just…safe. And it was real. And just when I was worrying about what the outcome may be… he asked me to believe that there is nothing else but _us_. That that moment that we had at the training room is _ours _and it's meant for us. I shivered to everything that he said and at the same time, I wished they were all true. But we both know that he has a girlfriend who doesn't want to break up and maybe, _just maybe_, he doesn't want too.

When I went back on resting my head on his shoulder that night, I slowly fell asleep—but I wasn't that far. I felt that he didn't want to let go of my hand because whenever the grip looses, he will squeeze my hand and to me it was a touch of assurance that he was just there…just there beside me and I was secured. And then a moment after he held my hand tighter, he kissed my hair. I didn't know why he did that—did _those_ and said all those things to me. The last thing I know, he and Eliza are madly in love with each other and no matter how many times they fight, they will not fall apart. But last night…Tobias made it seem different.

"Why would he do that…" Christina says after she knew. "Maybe… maybe because he feels something special for you?"

I shake my head. That's impossible. "He loves Eliza, Chris."

"Are you sure that he does love that _girl_? You don't know unless he tells you the truth. And with what I've heard from you…I can sense that he's feeling the need to let you know about it…whatever it is. He's just probably searching for a chance."

_I don't know. Tobias won't let me—anyone—read him. The only way to know what he's wanted to say is, maybe, to wait for him to do so._

"Anyway… go on, what happened next?"

And I continue. Right as he was kissing my hair, I sensed that he has become aroused. Primarily, I thought it was nothing. Until I heard a voice, a familiar voice, talking to Tobias and later on that time, they sounded as if they're bickering. When I was awaken, that was when I realized who just came—who caught us, to be precise—_Peter_. Tobias tried to scare him by pointing a gun to his way and I guessed Peter was frightened on his behalf since Tobias has done it to him before during initiation. Perhaps Peter was only acting like he's more of on a comedy show rather in an action film, but sooner; he left us alone—left me mad at him. I really hate him. I hoped I could hurt him that night. Hurt him for everything that he's done to take my life away, to make me burst, to make me cry. I _want _to hurt him but my body won't move and I don't know. Probably that was the reason why I almost lost it in front of Tobias when Peter has gone. I should have screamed. I wanted to scream. But when Tobias held me and locked his eyes on me…I had to do nothing but to listen and to hand on every word that he said.

_Ruin them._

"Oh my God, Tris," was Christina's line when I've finished. "That annoying guy has a talkative mouth, you know. I don't think he's practiced how to hold a tongue. There's a possibility that he tells Eliza about what he saw or… or maybe he's already told her."

"You think so?" I moisten my lips. "Because Eliza seemed usual when we were at the tattoo parlor. As always, she was ignoring me. If Peter has told her about it, then she might have attacked me again and did something worse."

Christina rolls her eyes. "Who knows, Tris? Maybe she's just keeping things light…for now. But you never know if sooner or later, you'd be surprised that she's already beating you on pulp. You have to be aware. And I prefer...you sense her around. So if ever she does something to harm you, you can response quick."

I'm just about to speak about the possible outcome of what happened last night in the subsequent few days but Christina must have read it's what I'm going to converse with so the next thing that she says is…

"And Tris…regardless of the time that you and Four had at the training room…you should remember your motive. Most especially after Peter has caught you both on the spot. This shall make you and Uriah act _better_. So to speak… well… you have to forget about last night in order to do that with Uriah. I know that you feel something special for Four and this pretense might not turn out easy or let me say… is _not _actually easy but… you have to do it for your own sake, too."

I hang on each thing that Christina says and lecture myself about it for a moment that I haven't recognized as we remain sitting. Last night was a night that kept me wide awake until before I fall to sleep. It was a night that kept me circling in my head even when I woke up this morning. It was a night that I keep on rewinding even as I worked at the tattoo parlor few hours ago. It was a night that I wished was _real_. Because for once, I thought it was just a _dream_.

But realization hits me then. Christina is right. Apart from…

Apart from loving Tobias… I admit it's true… I also have to separate the probable consequences from how I felt much safety beside him because no one can ever really tell where the future brings us and how does all of these will end up like. There is no assurance.

"Right," I say my hand on a fist. I also recognize the harsh tone in my voice.

"Tris… are you okay?"

"Maybe not, Chris." I say, "Maybe I'm angry." I breathe in, and then breathe out. "Maybe I'm guilty." I shut my eyes. "Or maybe I'm brave."

When I open my eyes, I see Christina nods.

I don't understand what I said was about but Christina does.

Of course she does.

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

_Tris_.

She's been running in my head since this morning—I mean, since _last night_. Now I sit here on the bed of my apartment, my back bended, and my arms standing on my knees. We apart last night minutes after I told her that I believe in her, in everything that she does, although truth is, I wished we didn't have to separate ways. But if we stayed there at the training room for much longer, perhaps it's not just Peter who might have caught us. Eric has possibly come too.

However, before she goes, I left a kiss on her forehead for the last time. And when she was out of my sight already, I felt the pang of pain in my chest again. I knew that since she walked away from me by that time, I might not be holding her in my arms again. Because she's Uriah's now. And I'm trapped in a relationship where my girlfriend is turning to a lot of directions, making me paranoid.

And because I've come to speak about Eliza…

Let's just say that since we fought, we haven't talked again. I didn't visit her apartment this morning or the tattoo parlor to ask for her time. Tris was at the same shift as hers so if it happened that I go there, it will turn out as awkward. Likewise, I'm not yet planning of conversing with Eliza. My mind is on chaos. I am confused. I'm having an encounter with different kinds of emotions and each one of them is seeking for attention that is why I cover my face with my hands, assuming that if I do, all these thoughts will blow away.

_My injured hand_, I suddenly remember. The dagger still has an effect on it but the pain was nothing, definitely nothing, with the belt that Marcus used to beat me during my childhood. That is still the _worst best_.

Until I hear a knock on my door.

My hand aches a little when I bring it down from my face together with the uninjured one. I steal a glance on the door and stands up after. I'm not in the mood to guess of who that might be or what does that person possibly needs. I just reach for the doorknob, twists it open, and is shock—but I don't play apparent—when I see Eliza standing before me…looking innocent. What is this?

"Tobias," she says, I'm not used with the way she says my name at this moment. Something must be different. "We _need _to talk."

Yeah, maybe we need so. It's just that I don't know what to say but perhaps I'll just let it flow. Soon, I will tell her what she's supposed to hear from me.

I don't hesitate nor look at her with hatred. I just nod and say, "Come in," and opens the door wider for her.

She walks in.

When I close the door behind us, I find her back turned on me rather than facing me. Yet, instead of commanding her to face me, I just take the turn and sits on the bed. Now she stands before me. I look up to her and she looks at me differently. _No. _This is actually dissimilar. _She _is dissimilar from the Eliza that I know. The Eliza who would greet me with a kiss every time she drops by my apartment. This is an Eliza that I don't think I recognize.

She parts her lips to say something but she falters and sits beside me instead. I follow her motion and search for her eyes.

"What is it," I don't sound like I'm asking.

"Uh… well… you see… I don't want to take this long especially when what I'm about to say is actually an essential thing."

I nod. I can't think of a good response.

"I'm…" she shuts her eyes then opens them. "I'm sorry."

I blink my eyes for a lot of times, just staring at her, and I thought she's waiting for me to answer but I don't think she does because she continues.

"I'm sorry for reacting that way…uh… the other day. I'm… I-I'm sorry for predicting you, your feelings, Tobias. I'm sorry… sorry for doubting your love for me. I mean… I'm just… just s-sorry for everything."

At first, I cannot believe my ears. I know Eliza so well for two years. When we argue over things, she would apologize, yes, but not in this kind of way when she appears to be more regretful than she _should _be. When she appears sorrier than the actual way that she must. When she makes an apology, she adapts to the situation by being sweet—by kissing me, or sometimes, hugging me. She doesn't want to stay over emotional for a long time.

But right now she isn't like _that _Eliza that I know.

I scan her face as she looks straight to me. I want to see if these things that she's saying mean something or if they have other objectives. But as we look at each other for ten seconds more, I detect that she's waiting for me to response already.

I lower my gaze then lift it back at her. "I'm sorry, too."

And right after that, I look away. I didn't add anything else. I didn't say to what am I sorry for and to what I am feeling right now, since the other day, and since yesterday. I remain quiet as I stare on a wall and as we sit beside each other in this bed gawkily. I hear nothing but the way she clears her throat—probably longing to say something more—and the way air fills this room.

Eventually, she breaks the spell.

"I… I think apologies still do no change, Tobias. I think… _you _still don't get over with what happened to us the other day. I hope we can just forget about it… but… but it seems like you're still flashing back to that fight."

"Yes," I finally speak, "maybe I am. And maybe there're just a lot of things going on my mind."

And as another silence comes between us, I recall how Peter caught me and Tris clanged to each other. I suspected that he will run to Eliza and tell her all that he's witnessed but talking to Eliza right now and seeing that she's calm, soft spoken and shy makes me rather nervous than relieved. Perhaps she acts like that as of at the present but who knows when she finds about it? I can already imagine that she and Tris will brawl again and if that happens, it might be worse than the last time although I haven't got to see it whole. Things might be coming as light currently but the next thing you know; it's all going to be in disorder again. I've always thought that that's how life goes. At the first minute, everything it settled. But by the next, and for the rest that comes, you will just find yourself watching all of it fall apart.

"Yeah, I can see it." Eliza says when I didn't extend my answer. "I can see that you're thinking a lot. I…I don't know what your thoughts are about as much as I don't know when are we going back to normal but…"

_The same thing with me, Eliza, in fact._

"But…as we _try_ to fix all of these, Tobias…I…I just…just want to be…sure of one thing."

I don't say anything.

"I-I… I want to ask you… and I hope… well… uh I hope…you'd be honest."

With that, I fix my eyes back on her and try to guess what it is that she wants me to be honest about. _Sometimes_ I just don't think I'd belong to Candor.

"I…I want to know…want to hear…right…right from you if… uh… if…"

"If?" I mutter

"If…" she swallows. "If you still love me."

She seems relieved when she's put the question out of her. It's like she's scared of what I may say, scared that I'd reject her, scared that just in one blink of her eye…I'm no longer _hers_. I can picture it on her face. But I rather play offhand. I let my face express nothing but what's ordinary and easy to show. I'm not just sure if that works well because she bites her lower lip and stares at me as if she's not prepared for my answer. Her voice asking me if I _still_ love her echoes in my mind and I think… I don't know what to think, in fact. And at the same time, I don't know if I still feel the same way for Eliza as I did two years ago when I first met her, when I first called her as my girlfriend.

But considering that she's dying to know my reply, I just part my lips and say,

"Yes," I gulp, "I do."

And I find a hint of bliss on her face. Her apologetic expression has gone; replaced with a delighted one but I'm not. I stay looking blank, a deadpan. I wonder if she's asked herself for a second if I was _sincere _with what I said.

"I love you, too." She says back.

I say nothing.

And I have nothing to say.

Because since the _unknown _time, I already know that what I told her was a lie. This may be difficult for me to handle for _feelings_ are _feelings _and they are something that you cannot lie to but I _have_ to do this.

_I have to. _

_I have to because I need to protect Tris. _

**A/N: Just like Tobias, you guys may also be wondering why Eliza acts strange. That is why I want to know about what you think of it, of why she acts that way. You can share your estimations. : ) **

**Also, I'd like to know who do you want to play the role of Four apart from the four actors they are choosing from. **

**I've always liked **_**Drew Roy **_**to be him since I can see Four from his image especially when I saw an episode of "**_**Falling Skies" **_**where it happened that his role is also shooting guns. (That's a coincidence!) But unfortunately…he didn't audition for Tobias's role. :/**

**So now we're down into four actors. And since he doesn't belong to those four, the only choice that I have is Brenton Thwaites. I think he and Shailene will knock out as our precious shipping, "FourTris" and I think they have this thing people call as "chemistry". But then we'll see where and how it goes. Let's trust that the movie will be great because the book is!**

**21 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS!**

**470 DAYS UNTIL THE DIVERGENT MOVIE! YAY!**

**-Iris**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen: How Couldn't I've Known**

**Tris' POV**

I and Christina have just finished conversing about the matter that's been bothering me when the door of the dormitory flies open, causing my shoulders to lift in surprise. Pack of voices talking in chorus approach the room and when I and Christina turn to see who arrived, we saw Uriah leading the way among the rest. By the way he stops on his feet and Shauna stumbles before him, it seems like he didn't expect that we are here since we didn't inform them where we were going.

But he suppresses a smile.

"Hey, Tris, Chris, didn't know that you're here."

"Uh yeah. Why are you two here? There are a lot of things to do for fun outside!" Shauna says.

"We're just…talking." I answer in my and Christina's behalf. But I know that there's got to be a better reason aside from "just" talking yet they don't even shoot as looks of disbelief. Instead, the subject has changed quickly. Thanks to Will.

"We're going to play, you know, but we were searching for the two of you so you could join. But now that we've found you, then…we can continue." He says.

"Play?" Christina echoes, "What will we play?"

"Shooting paint balls,"

"Oh," Christina says to Lynn, "Fortunately my schedule at the clinic is not a bad ass. I'm free. I'd like that!"

Christina really does know how to ride-in that easily, doesn't she? In that way, no one will bother to go back on wondering why we were here at the dormitory…talking about what.

"Do you like to come, Tris? You know…to chill the bad vibes to the previous events." Zeke suggests.

"Yeah, we'll be playing around the Pit like little Dauntless children! How's that sound?" Marlene asks as she stares in my way.

Well…there's nothing to lose. We have the freedom here in Dauntless, we are official members already. Likewise, my friends are very cool people to be with. I've noticed that I'm losing time for myself—to entertain myself, in fact and lately, everything is cluttered. Probably not a good sign. And with this, with shooting paint balls with them, I think I'd be able to forget about all of it, about Tobias…and last night…even just for a while.

I grin, "Let's go then!"

Later, we are in the training room. When I first step in, pictures of me and Tobias sitting down the floor near the table of weapons flash to my mind that I have to blow them away._Not now, Tris, not now. _I know better than longing for that moment to happen again in some other time. That was done. It has passed. Now we're back to normal, to reality. And in reality, there's no me and Tobias. So instead of drowning myself in with flashbacks, I just follow Christina rambling towards a table where the paint balls are. Zeke gets one, then Shauna follows up, and the rest help themselves. When I'm the only one left getting a paint ball, I hear Uriah teases Marlene.

"I'm going to shoot you with this a lot, Mar." he says, "I'll have you look colorful like a little kid coloring a picture on his coloring book."

When I turn to my back with a pain ball on my hands, Marlene answers Uriah.

"I'd make that happen to you at the first place so try me." Then she smirks. And as I watch the two of them mocking at each other, I've come to see that they don't look ridiculous as for a duo doing things like this. Uriah and Marlene has something good going between them and when you watch them together, you'd wish that they are a couple instead of being just friends. And I think there's a chance for them to make it to that stage there's nothing serious linking between me and Uriah—what we do is just an acting—and although they don't say it, I know that they like each other.

"We'll see," Uriah says back with a smirk, too.

"Hey, let's get going." I tell them when the others were no longer in the training room.

We appear at the hallways with our paint balls on hand. Will, Christina, and the rest haven't gone that far yet so when I, Uriah, and Marlene stepped out of the room, they are only inches away from us. And because we are free and no one can nitpick on what we want to do, we all talk in chorus. Who cares if we make noise?

"Let's have a deal!" Zeke says with excitement as he walks backwards so he faces us. "Whoever gets hit with the most number of colors or whoever appears to be the most studded with colors shall get a dare from anyone who volunteers to give one."

"I knew you'd have that idea!" Uriah says cornering his lips with both hands.

"That sounds thrilling!" Will says, "I'd make sure Christina gets herself hit with the most several colors so I'd get to give her a dare." Will winks at Christina and she punches him in the arm playfully. "No, I will win."

Marlene laughs, "Let's get started, then!"

"But we aren't at the Pit yet," Shauna differs, "We have to get there first,"

"_Ohh_forget about the Pit, Shauna. We aren't that distant from there anymore so…" Lynn shifts her eyes on each one of us and, with a simper on her face; she lifts her paint ball and begins shooting. _Shoot! _It spits orange color to Will's shirt. One point!

"Why do you have to hit me first?" Will says but he doesn't sound annoyed. And once we all burst into laughter with Will's reaction, he joins in and surprises us by taking his turn. With an unexpected second, he lifts his own paint ball and embarks on shooting anyone he can reach the most. We run fast away from him, not wanting to get hit, not wanting to get a dare from who will volunteer—and as we scurry on the way to the Pit, laughing hard, and stumbling in our feet, Will runs after us, still shooting.

"I'm _coooomingggg!_" he tries to scare us and it is effective. It persuades us—_me—_to run faster since I can feel that he's coming to reach me in my feet. "_Run, run, run!_"

"Oh my God Will!" Shauna says between laughter. "Almost there!"

"Ha-ha! I can't be hit!" Uriah yells with pride. "I can't be hit, I can't be—_ow! Will!_"

"I've got you!" Will says laughing and at the same time, catching his breath. I laugh with him. He's strike Uriah with a blue shade on the back of his shirt. One point for him. None for met yet. When Will sees me not beyond his reach, he fixes me with a knowing look followed by an evil smile. _Uh-oh._ I think I know what he has on mind. But I have to get rid of it so by the end of this game, I'll be the one to give a dare. Once he raises his paint ball to fire me with the same color, I compress my arms together regardless of the weapon that I'm holding and run faster than I could, bypassing Uriah. I watch him fade through the corner of my eye until I've reached Shauna's side.

"Where's Uriah?" she asks

"At our back,"

As we keep on running, Shauna peeks over her shoulder and see Uriah trying his best to reach us. Shauna cackles with Uriah's attempt.

"Hey Uriah!" she calls, "you're going to be shot five more times than us before we even reach the Pit! Cope up!"

"I know!" that's all what he can manage to say as he enhances his speed to avoid being shot by Will, who is still shooting colors on us. We're laughing as we dodge from his hits.

Eventually, we reach the Pit. In there, we begin shooting one another without being told who does it first. If you want to do it, the only option you have is to do so. We're free. Free like a lion that has been trapped in a four-cornered cage having people believe that once it's set free, its only aim is to kill. But with us, we've been snared inside our own burdens for so long—for a long time that we no longer remember. Because right now, the objective to harm is placed aside. Right now, the only aim we know is to claim the freedom that we deserve.

We're cluttered everywhere in the Pit; everyone eats space in effort to avoid the shoots coming from one another. As Christina hits Zeke, I hit her on the back of her shirt, causing a red paint splash on it. She turns her back to see who shot her and scowls at me when she finds out that I'm the one who did it.

"Shot you, Chris." I say like a tease, "Shoot me back?"

From glaring, Christina lets out a laugh and lifts her paint ball. I try to run away swiftly before green paint plops on me but the barrel of Christina's weapon has reached me—the side of my shirt.

"Done it, Tris!"

This time, I take another turn. I take advantage of Christina standing on her feet, waiting for me to shoot back and because that is what she is expecting from me, I give it to her. Unluckily, she's already spanned around even before I could raise my paint ball so I look for someone else that only has few hits. I find Will shooting without any limit. He shoots anyone he sees, probably wanting to be the one to give a dare. I see that he's shot Marlene three times already, and two times to Zeke. Lynn passes in front me, running away from Shauna's aim, and I take that chance to shoot her with red. She moans in pain but ignores it after, and when she sees me holding my paint ball up, she tries to put orange on either my shirt or jeans but I've jerked my limbs, making her fail. By doing that, I've caught Will's attention and he smiles at me with a ragger. Saying nothing because I know what it means, he lifts his paint ball with no hesitation while on the contrary, I run in circles to confuse him.

"You haven't shot me yet, Will!" I say laughing

He doesn't answer. Rather, he just strives to have me shot since perhaps I'm the only one among the six who wasn't hit by him, yet.

"Nice try!" I say that to annoy him but because I know him so well, he laughs instead and returns the favor. "Thanks, Tris!" and he pulls the trigger of the paint ball again, this time, hitting me already. _Ow! _His sarcasm has helped him do it. I feel the blue stain mark the small of my back and at the same time, I hear him say, "_YES! I've hit you!" _

"Will! Watch out!" a female voice shouts somewhere from my right. _Marlene. _Will stops running and whirls his head to see who called him. But he's too late to react with Marlene's presence when she instantly jerks the trigger of her paint ball—too fast that Will haven't fly himself to avoid the yellow paint. Marlene laughs and I do too but I don't forget that we're playing a game here. As I laugh with her, I raise my paint ball and, having her not recognize it, I hit her. Red falls on her shirt.

"Tris!"

I burst out in laughter. "Hi, Marlene."

From where we stand, we see Zeke and the others shouting and laughing as they splish-splash colors on one another. I just realized, as we watch, that Zeke and Shauna have two paint balls with them so they get to hit more than us. Zeke shoots his brother, Uriah, and he shoots him back. Shauna uses her other weapon to shoot Lynn, and Lynn returns the fire. Christina, likewise, doesn't choose who to shoot. Like Will, she hits anybody that she sees. So when her eyes fix on Marlene, she doesn't shillyshally on adding green to her collection of colors. And when Christina does it, we go in chaos around the Pit again, hitting one another. Fire here, fire there, then here, then there again, fire everywhere. I don't think I've felt this welcome in anywhere else before. I've only found out what sovereignty truly means here in Dauntless, here in the Pit, here with these people. Maybe this is really my home.

"Tris!" the voice is too familiar with me that I don't have to reassure myself if it's Zeke. I twirl my head to meet him and I see his paint ball pointed on me. "Want red on your shirt?"

I smirk, "No thanks, I can do it for myself."

He laughs, "But it'll be easy if I do it for you."

I join him in amusement and I think we're crazy silly but I don't care. "Only if you let me do it at the first place to you."

He lifts a brow, "Yeah? Uh well…if that's what going to make the—oh _hey!_"

"What?"

"Hey!" Zeke calls but I fix my stare on him and realize that I'm not the one he's referring to. Slowly, he brings down his paint ball and his head shifts to whatever it is behind me. He suddenly grins. I don't understand.

"_Four!_"

My body stiffens, my hand clutches on the paint ball, and I feel my throat goes dry. What did Zeke say? _Who _did he call? _Fo—_

"Four, want to join us?"

I don't want to turn at my back. I don't want to see him. _No, _scratch that, I _want _to see him. But as I recall what occurred last night, I also recall what I have to do. And right now, I guess, I'm being challenged if I can manage to not give a damn about him, which I will try. No, what I will _do_. I could only hope I can accomplish that if ever he cares to join the fun.

"Uh…" Tobias says sounding like he's thinking twice if he wants to. I hear his voice near me—maybe he's looking at me, supposing I'd put my attention to him as he talks—but I don't. "Do you want to join, Eliza?"

I remember the moment at the Choosing Day few months back when Marcus called my name through the microphone of the podium to have me decide the landing of my future, of the faction that I will choose. He handed me the knife just when I reached the stage in front of the balls and feeling the dagger in my palms during that instant was making my body shiver, my hands tremble—maybe in fear—and my stomach full of butterflies. As I stepped near the Dauntless bowl, I compressed the knife closer to my wrist to show everyone watching there that from being selfless, I had to choose to be brave. Pressing the knife to my coating meant getting it bleed but despite from that—getting myself decide where I want my fat to be.

And right now, when I hear Eliza's name came from Tobias's mouth, which states the fact that they are together, I feel the same thing that I did during Choosing Day. The only difference is that the bleeding doesn't go in my skin, but rather in my heart. Yet, they have the same principle. To choose where I should keep my feet on, and if I shall stay there. And here—where my feet are—is where I must obtain that principle. So in order to do it, I shut my eyes before eventually turning my back to find Eliza gathered on Tobias's arms.

_Bang. Did I just get shot? _

Just last night…just…just last night, I was the one who's on his arms. Just last …

"Sure, I'd like to." Eliza says with a beam on Tobias's face. Do I have my ears clean and heard her right? She _wants _to join? Eliza, who hates me and my friends, does want to join the fun? Is this _real_?

"G-great!" Zeke stutters with the simple word. I've caught him fake smiling to Eliza. Maybe like me, he doesn't want her to be here. Yes, _I don't want her to be here. _I don't want _them _to be here. I wasn't aware that they've already cleared things out and now here they are, being clingy again just like what they usually are. Since when? Since I left Tobias at the training room last night to get myself sleep already? Did he go to Eliza's apartment right after I'm gone and said their apologies and kissed and everything's okay then and—

_How can I be such an idiot?_

Why didn't I think of _that_? Why does the idea that maybe Tobias just wanted me to stay with him last night because he wanted to entertain himself for a while—didn't enter my senses? That maybe he was only looking for a way to forget his problem with Eliza instead of getting drunk—and it turned out that I've been his _way, _his _beer _to do that. He _lied. _He lied to me. And I was stupid for believing him. For believing that he wanted me to stay because he knew he'd never hold me that way again. That was only his excuse. An excuse so I will not go, so I wouldn't leave him there. He took advantage of me. And now I feel my blood rising in anger. I'm feeling an urge to eat the distance between us and _slap _him. But instead…I stay on my feet, just watching the two of them; me playing offhand. It's the only way I can handle to do at this moment.

Or…is it really the only way?

Tobias and Eliza are together, they are here right now. They couldn't see me alone. They couldn't see me as only a standby. I have to show them that I don't care if they're that clanged to each other. I need to hide this rage for a while.

_Uriah. I need him here. He should come here. We need to act right now. Right now while they can see. Uriah, you should be here. You should be—_

"Tris!"

At the call of my name and at its acquainted sound, I already know that I no longer have to stand here like seeming dumbfounded. Tobias and Eliza no longer have to watch me and pity on me because I'm a loner. Because I'm not. And I don't need them to pity on me. I don't need _Tobias—_who took benefit of me—to look at me with shame. I don't need him.

I turn around right after my voice was called and my eyes find the figure of the person that I'm expecting to come. Uriah is running towards me, his arms are open, and in a sudden, before I could utter his name, he launches against me with such force that I stumble backwards. He gathers me in his embrace so tight that I have to wrap my arms around his waist to get support. He buries his face on my air and kisses it—the act flashes the image of Tobias kissing my hair last night—but I blow that thought away and enfolds Uriah tighter than he does. He must be doing this because he's spotted Tobias and Eliza from afar and remembers what we have to do. I'm thanking him for coming.

After a minute, we pull away from each other. He uses his hand that holds no paint ball to tug a strand of my hair on the back of my ear. Then right after that, he leans to me—I close my eyes—and kisses my nose. I don't know if this acting that we're doing convinces the real couple that watch us that we are _actually_ together but I have to trust Uriah that he I a good actor although I kind of suck. But I guess I can carry this naturally. I open my eyes and search Uriah's. Knowing that Tobias is watching, I beam at Uriah and he returns it with a grin.

"I love you," I tell him at the first place. I said it clearly, said it with the appropriate tone for them—Tobias and Eliza—to hear enough. I notice Uriah's eyes widen since he didn't expect me to say it but I don't play obvious. I continue to smile at him—my eyes are saying, "Just. Say. It." And good thing he gets the message.

"I love you, too, Tris."

And from the corner of my eye, I catch Tobias staring directly at us, at my arms around Uriah's waist. _Great_. If he's thinking that I'm still holding on to last night, that I haven't moved on from that, that I'm assuming that he has feelings for me because of everything that he said then he is wrong. I've poured so much concern for him last night. I've given him my time—my time when I'm supposed to be sleeping already—just to hand him a company. I ran with speed to the clinic to get him a bandage that I even had to lie to Christina. I wrapped his wound. I stayed when he asked me to because he wanted me to. I did it all for him. But now I won't play foolish. My eyes have seen it clearly.

When Tobias remains gazing at us, I thought perhaps I must catch him in actual to embarrass him. Keeping my arms around Uriah's waist and beaming, I turn my head to their direction. Eliza is no longer grasped on Tobias's arms. She stands beside him awkwardly, her arms crossed, her brow raised on Uriah. Then I look at Tobias. I catch him eyeing us but he still attempts to make it seem like he's looking at the other way through shifting his eyes at the right. From his face, I move my eyes down. He's wearing a black shirt—as always—and a pair of denim jeans matching with the sneakers. But apart from his hand that's in a pocket, I find his other hand—which was injured—the hand that I wrapped with a bandage—the hand that held my hand last night. I am bewildered with what I've seen. He must have forgotten to hide it.

His injured hand is curled on a fist.

**A/N: I owe you an apology and this chapter for not updating in two days. The other day, I was tired from school. There was a number of works that have to be done. Also, I was lack of sleep. Then yesterday, we went at the airport and got home by 10:30 pm because of the traffic. Anyway, there you go with the fourteenth chapter! : ) Tris thought Tobias was only taking advantage of her when he told her he wanted her to stay while she didn't know that he has to act sweet with Eliza to protect her from what she might do. This is where another twist will occur.**

**Anyway…**

**As of now, we only have 17 days before Christmas and 467 days before the DIVERGENT movie! I can't wait as much as you can't!**

**Have a great day!**

**-Iris **


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen: Mind and Heart on Chaos**

**Tris' POV**

"This is how we play the game," Zeke tells Tobias and Eliza when the silence extends. I and Uriah turn to his brother but I squeeze Uriah's hand knowing that their eyes are still on us. Tobias slowly flatten his injured hand yet the way it trembles make it seem like he's been bending it rigidly, like he wants to punch someone—_Uriah_—in the face. From him, I sway my concentration to Zeke.

"Whoever gets shot with the most number of colors will receive a dare from anyone who volunteers to give one. The dare must be done. No refusals allowed."

Right. If you're Dauntless, you _can _do whatever you're asked to do whether it's risky or something that you haven't encountered before for it's the main objective of choosing and belonging in this faction. The little things do count, of course.

"Game, Four?"

Before Tobias answers, he checks if Eliza is on focus. Eliza meets his gaze but I don't know what is it she's trying to communicate. Is she scared to get shot the most? From where I stand, that's no longer impossible. My friends don't like her, they'd probably be-friend her by spilling her clothes with colors. And I, also, don't like her so…maybe I'd hit her…a lot. We'll see.

"Game," Tobias says when Eliza has given him a nod. "Got an extra paint ball with you?"

Zeke ambles toward him and hands him his other paint ball. Zeke peeks over his shoulder to search for Shauna and when he sees her shooting Christina with pink, he calls out her name.

"Come over here!"

"Me?" Shauna inquires

"No, all of you, in fact. Four and Eliza will join us!"

Behind Shauna, the rest follow up. When they find out that they've just heard Zeke right—that Tobias, together with Eliza is here—they do some murmurs. From my back, I hear Christina says to Marlene, "What is she doing here?" "Trying to be friendly, maybe. She must know that it doesn't suit her. She's too evil to be an angel."

I want to laugh with what my friends are saying from behind but I hold myself up. This is no time to start another war… I mean, another clash between me and Eliza. If she's coming to believe that I am with Uriah, then her only option is to stay on her feet rather than attacking me again because once she does it one more time, I'll break the cage that I'm in and take an aim—the actual aim that a lion also has, like what I've said.

"Shauna, how will Eliza shoot without a paint ball? Give her your extra one."

I hear Shauna hisses something to Lynn before getting to Eliza and hand her the weapon. I catch them exchanging glares at each other when Shauna gives her the paint ball and when Eliza receives it. _Not good. _I can tell by now that apart from me, Shauna's going to be Eliza's target. At least, in this game.

"I've been shot five times now." Zeke says, "Try your best to evade the paint balls or you'd get a dare you'd never forget." When he says that, he doesn't only refer to Tobias and Eliza but also to us, who are compressed to one another. When Zeke eventually says, "Let's begin!" that is when we start running in circles again. I try to pretend that Tobias isn't here by imitating Will who shoots anyone he sees. Unlike recently, I choose no one anymore. Who my eyes catch is who my weapon's going to hit. And when they find Eliza hunting for someone to shoot with a pink color, I don't think twice of combining red with her black shirt. She contorts her face in both shock and disgust. "G-gross!"

I bite back a laugh. At the very first place, I don't know why I'm doing this to her but let's just pretend that this is where I'm going to get my revenge for what she did to me the last time. If she gets the most number of colors, she must expect that the dare will come from me.

"You," she scowls at me, "_did_ that on purpose."

"Maybe I did," and I shoot her again.

I am not surprised that she returns the point with speed, giving my shirt a pink paint. It's only that I've shot her twice but she's only shot me once. I don't wait for her to give me another pink. I turn away from her and loop around the Pit like a little girl but I am _not _a little girl. Not anymore. From afar, as I keep on shooting, I see a scenario of an eighteen-year-old laughing—an act that you rarely see. I bring my paint ball down beside my femur and my hand goes limb around it. This is something that I've never seen before, never thought it could appear as real as this. The first time that you look into his face, the initial thing you'd think is how intimidating and cold he is. The first time that he talks to you and scolds you, the expected feeling you'd get is fear. But the first time that you see him as joyful as this—firing paint balls and running around—the only thing that you could do is to beam.

Tobias has never been like this during initiation. Just now.

And I am smiling. I'm not supposed to smile. He took advantage of me. I wake myself up and the curve disappears from my lips. I look down to my hand and it still holds the paint ball. How could I've felt like I was transferred into another world just by watching Tobias having fun? Just by watching how good he is—even in paint balls? He's shot Lynn twice, and the rest three to four times maybe but him…he only has three colors on his shirt. How clever of him.

"Ow!" I say in the midst of staring at my paint ball. Someone has shot me from behind. I felt a color splashed on my back.

"Why do you have to—"

I get an irritated tone on my voice even before I turn my back to see who did it to me. But I don't continue with what I have to say when I figure out _who _actually shot me.

"I thought this is a game? Tell me why you're just standing there, doing nothing." Tobias says

I scowl at him, "That has nothing to do with shooting me in a sudden!"

He chuckles, "Did I scare you? Well you see… it was your fault. You should be aware of what is around you. You _don't_ want to have the most number of colors."

I swallow hard as he talks to me through this manner. Last night he was saying words of love—or if that's what it's really called but never mind—and he was telling me not to talk about anything else. He was coddling me. _We_ were coddling. He was holding my hand, kissing my hair, and kissing my forehead. But now he makes it seem like last night never happened and here we are, facing each other like Four the instructor and Tris the initiate. This is perplexing.

"You don't have to remind me," I try to emphasize a hint of independence on my voice. I want him to be recapped that he's no longer my instructor so he shouldn't talk to me like I'm still an initiate, _his _initiate. Since initiation is over, we must be equally considered.

"Maybe you're right, Tris," He's no longer laughing. There is no more hint of glee on his tone. He goes serious. Here we go.

"Right with what?"

"Right with the fact that I'm not your instructor anymore. That you're not in the midst of an initiation anymore. But apart from that, I can still find a reason why you have to be reminded about all of these because you're reckless."

He's hit me. Not with the paint ball but with his words. How could he suddenly come here to join us with the game and shoot me at my back and tell me all of these? Why does he always intend to tell me something that I want to believe in? But I shouldn't. Tobias has a way of fooling people—of fooling _me_. He has a way of manipulating people, and _ye_s, I think he is deploying me. He's done it already. Just last night. And I wouldn't let it happen again.

"You don't know me, Tobias," I say with assurance, "You don't,"

"But you know me, Tris,"

_No. Don't be taken away with what he's saying. He's doing something. He's calculating you. Act casually. _

"H-how could you say so?" I stutter with the query, "Because I knew about your fear landscape? Because you let me in? Because you showed me everything that—"

"It's not just about letting you in, Tris," he says as he steps closer to me. "It's more than that. More than you think you knew."

"I don't understand you."

His steps become nearer and nearer and nearer until I find my feet tripping as I attempt to walk backwards, to stay away from him. This is not a good place for him to do this. We're not alone. Or...maybe we are. Zeke and the rest are suddenly out of the sight. I'm too late to realize that. Just lately, they were running around here, shooting at one another. But just when I and Tobias began conversing, I didn't notice that they're no longer here. Even Eliza. Uriah. And the others. They're gone. _We're alone._

"Surely you don't understand me for now, Tris, but you will soon."

Here he goes again. Here he goes with the deed of telling me these things with breaks. Why couldn't he just be straight forward? Why does he have to make it all befuddling? Why couldn't he just tell me right away what his purpose is so I won't be standing here, longing to burst into tears, longing to throw myself at his arms? Why wouldn't he just be direct with what he truly feels, with what he really wants to say so I don't have to resist the ache every time I see him with his girlfriend? And why, of all things, did he take _advantage _of me? If he only knew how I want to explode right now. Explode in anger. In agony. If he only knew… what would he actually _do_?

"Could you please _just _tell me now?" I hear myself crack to that line. _No, Tris_. _You won't cry. Not in front of him. Not here. Hold it all back. For your own sake._

"Could you just please stop dilly-dallying? You told me you'd let me know all about it, all about what you're hiding inside of you but Tobias you don't have an idea how the way you linger as if you're just playing games with me make me _hurt_!"

And without me knowing, I was already shouting at him. But no tears. Because I won't cry. But I've said it. I've said that I am _hurt_. I wonder what he thinks of me now.

"_Hurt?_" he echoes stubbornly.

_Yes, Tobias, __**hurt**__. Hurt because __**I love you**__. But I know you won't return the feeling._

"You did hear it so please don't pretend as if it was indistinct." I swallow, "If you aren't just _numb_, Tobias, then maybe I don't have to be this difficult. But _you are_. And I don't know where we go from here."

We stand there awkwardly for a minute, no one speaking. He narrows his eyes on me. He does that because I am right. He is numb. But still, he wonders what I mean. If telling him that I love him is the only way to stop all of this tragedy, then I would have done it before, last night, lately, and when I had the chance. But I'm not that brave to put the words on air because at the same time, I'm not strong enough to hear it right from him that he could never feel the same way about me. I guess I just have to practice accepting that fact.

When the silence prolongs, I decide to better cut this off and walk away. This has nowhere to go. He won't tell me about it so why should I force him? I just don't want to guess endlessly. All I want is for him to say it. Just say it.

Eventually, I take footsteps backwards, with the paint ball on my hand. I watch Tobias's face before I completely turn away and I have to admit that seeing him in this manner, when I have to go, adds more ache in my heart. Not wanting to spurt into tears, I lock my eyes at him one last time, turn around, and run.

**A/N: Just the other day, during Social Studies class, a group of my classmates were reporting a lesson about myths and gods. While my other classmates find their report boring, I was attentive. They have caught my attention. I've had an idea about the dystopian/sci-fi novel that I've been longing to write few months back. Guess I have to thank them and our professor who broadened an explanation about the myths because I'm currently writing the plot! : )**

**16 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND 466 DAYS UNTIL THE DIVERGENT MOVIE!**

**-Iris**


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen: Nobody Knows **

**Eliza's POV**

Tobias is nowhere to be found. A few minutes ago, he was only here, running, laughing and shooting everyone. Now, as I look over the place, I can't see any sign of him. He should be here. He should know what these former initiates of him _did _to me. It's pretty obvious that I was really their target; that they really planned to shoot me a lot so I'd get the most number of colors. And it happened. Here I am, looking like a rainbow.

"Eliza lost!" Zeke announces. "You'd receive a dare."

_I know… I'm not stupid. You pansycakes did this intentionally. I will not be surprised if anyone of you asks me to jump off the railing downward to the rocks and water as a dare. You all obviously want me to die so don't act as if you're benevolent people for I've always known that the Dauntless rarely knows what 'kindness' means._

"Who'd like to give the dare?"

When Zeke asks his friends, Tobias emerges somewhere at my left. He doesn't show any reaction when he finds out that I lost in the game. His face is emotionless as if he doesn't care about what these people might ask me to do, if they're going to give me a dangerous dare. But I try to ignore it. I know that we are _okay_. He told me he still loves me. He won't let them harm me, and I won't either. Dauntless.

For a minute or two, nobody neither responses nor steps forward to volunteer in giving me a challenge. If I'm not mistaken, they must be scared of me. Scared for either two reasons. First is that I've been trained as a Dauntless two years ago before them so if ever they think of trying me, they should know already that I'm skilled on how to beat sixteen-year-olds down to a pulp. Second is that I've attacked their friend—the Stiff—in no chosen chance so it's not impossible at all that I can do the same thing to them. And if they will just remain standing there, watching me, and making Zeke wait for an answer, then I must be right. _They are scared of me. _I smirk to that thought. What a bunch of cowards!

"Me," a voice says, sounding like it comes from the back. "I'd _like_ to give a dare."

Everyone turns around to see who spoke and well…I guess there's no need to wonder who was that for the only person who isn't here since five minutes ago is no other than the _Stiff_. I knew this is coming. I knew she wants to have her payback. _How fascinating._

"Tris," Will says, "You just came."

"Where've you been?" Christina, the smart-mouthed Candor, asks.

"It doesn't matter guys," Zeke says, "We had a deal before we began. You can give the dare now, Tris. And Eliza…" Zeke pronounces my name with meaning. "You have to do what she says."

_Damn this game. I shouldn't have joined. But I had to. I thought this is one method to hurt that Stiff but I guess she's taken the turn. Damn it._

She lifts her chin up and looks at me informally, probably certain that the dare she's going to give is beyond my strength. I can _read_ it in her eyes. She's practiced this before.

"I want _you _to do fifty push-ups inside ten minutes clear. I don't care if you're _slow _as long as you accomplish those fifty _only_ in ten minutes. But…if you can do it swiftly, then it'd be better."

Fifty push-ups inside _ten minutes? Is she going insane?! _Obviously she's doing this to hit me because of what I did to her the last time. Uh…no. She's doing this to make _me_ hit _myself_. My hand curls into a fist but I don't show it. And oh. My boyfriend—my _two-year boyfriend, Tobias—_is just standing there with the former initiates, his arms crossed against his chest, just watching. Just _waiting_ for me to get on the ground and do those stupid push-ups. Why won't he defend me?!

"Well…Eliza. What are you waiting for? I'd switch my stopwatch on in a few seconds." Zeke tells me.

_Yes. You people do want this. And feel lucky for yourselves that I'm going to do this because I have a plan not just for you but also for your Stiff friend. If I haven't made a structure on how to affect your lives then I must be smacking you in your faces now. I repeat, __**feel lucky**_.

Without making Zeke reprise his order and everyone watching me murmur that I am weak—which I am not—I begin doing the dare given. I place my toes and hands on the floor, making sure my back and arms are straight. I keep my hands slightly more than shoulder-width apart and tighten my abdominal muscles. I hear a few of them laugh…oh correction, _they _actually laugh. But I don't have time to sway my head to see who they exactly are and to check if Tobias is joining them in this irrational dare they call as an amusement. I'm going to do this inside ten minutes and because I'm two years older than them, because I'm Dauntless and because I won't let that Stiff win, I need to survive the span.

I inhale as I lower myself to the floor, stopping as my elbows reach a 90-degree bend. I keep my body from touching the floor because once it touches it; they'd see me as weakling. And ever, I don't want anybody look at me that way.

I exhale and push myself away from the floor. _One._ I don't lock my elbows and I don't bend my back. I knew how to do push-up. I _know _how. I will make it until ten minutes. I _will_.

I repeat the same procedure as before. I inhale when I lower myself to the ground and exhales when I have to push away. _Two_. I do it again. _Three_. Back to the first step. _Four. _I try not to make my face contort. It'd be disgusting. _Five. _I am trembling and it's only the fifth count. No way. _Six. _I'm being sluggish and I shouldn't be. A true Dauntless can do this fast—with no breaks—in just five minutes or less. I must try. _Seven._

"Three minutes," Zeke says and I barely hear him. All that I can manage to hear by now is my breaths and their hisses. Not looking at Zeke, I thought I could ask, "What do you mean by three minutes? There's still eight minutes left?"

_Eight. _

"Of course,"

Well yeah…of course. How could I've thought that I've done eight minutes already? _Nine_. Damn you Stiff. I will make you pay soon. _Soon. Ten. _And I'd make sure that once it happens, you won't _ever_ dare to challenge me again. You will turn out as a little girl running out of breath while trying to escape from a bulldog yet impossible. _Eleven. _And maybe I'd also let your friends join you so you can share the fun. I hope you'll all enjoy. _Twelve. _Just wait and I'll get back on you, to all of you. You wouldn't realize that while you're still tying up your shoes, you're already dead. _Thirteen._

"Five more minutes,"

_Crap. In five minutes, I've only had thirteen push-ups? No, no, no. There's still five minutes left. I can make it fifty. I __**have**__ to make it fifty. I'll have you proven wrong and embarrassed, Stiff. _

_Fourteen_. Here goes the shaking of my arms and abdomen again. They shouldn't notice. I couldn't be called as a weakling. I am Eliza, a well-skilled Dauntless and cannot be compressed by these goddamn sixteen-year-olds. _Fif…fifteen. _Beads of sweat begin streaming down from my temple. My body feels heavy now. I feel like crashing down but…scratch that, it won't happen. _S-six…sixt-teen. _

"Three minutes left, Eliza and you haven't even reached twenty yet."

_Shut up, Zeke, shut up!_

"I don't think you could make it until time is up," he says again, "Aren't you giving up yet?"

"W-what d-do do you think of me? I will just g-give give i-in? Never I will!"

"But you only have two minutes left yet you aren't on the half of fifty. This is just a dare, Eliza, you can give in now. This is not a contest."

And before I could mock at him one more time, I don't think I can take this any longer. I don't think I can still make it until fifty. Just when I'm about to count twenty in my head, I instantly crash down to the floor with such force, having the side of my red face as the target and my arms lying cold with feebleness. My vision suddenly turns blurry and the first thing that I see when I blink them is a guy coming over to me.

_Tobias_.

He tries to get my body leave the ground and my feet to stand but all that I can feel right now is the shiver, the shiver and the shiver. _You're going to pay, Stiff. You __**evil **__Stiff._

"Eliza," Tobias mutters, "I'll help you up. Come on,"

_Yeah, I need to be up. I don't care if I feel frail right now because I want to spank __**her **__for doing this to me._

Tobias works with my arms lied to the floor first. When he has lifted them, I decide to begin helping myself. Carefully, attempting to make myself feel no soreness when I rise, I get support from the floor through expanding both of my arms and legs and eventually, get to my feet.

_I knew it._

My femurs are going to ache. In fact, they do ache right now, causing me to have a difficult time standing straight. I blame this to her. _All of this._

I scowl at her and she returns the look. I suddenly feel an urge to run towards her and smack her right on the face, to leave her bloodthirsty on the floor. _I want to do it. _But when I thought that I'm actually going to do it, something stops me. This isn't the right time yet. I'm waiting for a turn. _My turn. _If I let myself burst here, in front of everyone, in front of Tobias, all of my plans will turn out as senseless. For the meantime I have to resist not seeing her in mischief. Soon when I've make Tobias believe that I'm trying to change for the two of us…well then…I'd make sure she'd be dead. Without anybody knowing that I'm the one who did it. Without having Tobias think it's my scheme.

Xxxx

Tobias brings me to my apartment later when he's helped me get myself off of the ground. He waits at the bed as I change my messed up clothes with fresh ones and as I try to make my femurs move without pain anymore. But they still ache every time I walk, or every time I do an action. Hey Stiff, thanks for doing this shit to me. I guess I'd have a hard time sleeping tonight.

Once I'm finished, I walk out of the bathroom. I see Tobias sitting on my bed, his back bended forward with hands clasped between his knees. He doesn't move. He just flies his gaze upon me and says, "You didn't have to do that, Eliza. In fact, you shouldn't have done it."

I didn't expect that this is the first thing that he'd tell me. What the hell is he saying? And what does he means? That I should have just stood there and rejected the Stiff's dare? Never. I was just right for accepting the challenge. I must inform her that I don't use "no" for an answer.She must be advised of who she is contradicting.

Although I want to shout at him to let him know that, I don't do it. I've succeed with acting like a calm person despite of anger yesterday and he believed. Well…at least that's what I think. So if I will yell in this room like what I did the last time that we fought, it's going to be another mess again and he's going to be convinced again to stay away from me. By now, I need to act that way—cool and soft spoken—in order to have him in my charade. This has to be worth a try.

"I _had _to do it," I use a very girly tone, an _annoying _girly tone, assuming it could work. "I won't let myself be underestimated by a girl who's just two years younger than I am."

"Well look at what happened to you. You were about to collapse there already then yet you continue. For what? To impress them? To prove something?"

I let out a breath—one way I know to keep the confrontations that I want to bring out—and sit beside him on the bed. I lie down my head onto his shoulder when he straightens his position and reaches for his hand to be laced on mine. This is another technique that I've learned through the process of my plan. To cling with him. To act like a sweet-and-patient-girlfriend. I presume by doing this, he'd lessen being cold every time we talk about issues and starts coddling me instead.

"Yes, I wanted to prove something to them, Tobias, to _her_."

"What did you have to prove?"

"That…that I don't…uh…that I'm not…I'm not—"

"A coward," he finishes for me, "You did that because you wanted to prove that you're not a coward. That's it."

_Yes, that's one thing but there's something else. I just have to pretend that I'm stammering, running out of words to use to explain so that he won't let me continue and kiss me instead. _

_That has to work._

"Uh…yes," I mutter, "That's one thing. But…but you don't have to worry anymore. I know you're just concern and…" _He has to be concern as a boyfriend, not just as a person who has witnessed what happened. _"And…you don't want me to be hurt by anyone. I…I understand that. I'm sorry for making you worry. This isn't even that bad at all." _Scratch that, this sucks. I doubt that I can stand well from this bed. Ugh. _"I promise I won't do it again so you don't have to worry. Okay?"

I feel he moves his head to look at me and although I cannot see his expression, I know that he's finding this—_me_—as odd. To interrupt whatever he has on mind, I lift my head from his shoulder and search for his face. The way he stares at me is like he's encountering with a person that he doesn't know. A stranger. I want to burst into laughter right now knowing that this is functioning but since I'm in the midst of attainment at this minute, I have to continue.

"Can you hear yourself?" he asks casually, "you sound weird."

I let out a small smile—a smile that makes me look more peculiar than I intend to. I fly a hand to his cheek and rub it sensibly with my fingers. Now he appears like he's facing someone under a peace serum.

"Maybe you aren't just used with this, with me being this sweet Tobias but…you will get familiar with it as times goes," and I beam again—this time, pulling his face to my face with no hesitancy and drags his mouth down to mine with lust. From his cheek, my hand goes down and wraps around his neck until the other one does the same. I just kiss him and kiss him even harder. Doing this is already a habit to me, a _hobby _to me for two years now. Before, every time we kiss, I know we do it because we're boyfriend and girlfriend and there is nothing wrong with that. But a few months before initiation began, where he has been the instructor, I figured out that I only have one reason left to stay with him. To be with him as a girlfriend. I realized that if I choose to bring him in my fantasy before initiation, it means I am _betraying _him and the _Dauntless. _And if that is what I am actually doing since the last few months, I am not just doing it for fun. I am doing it because apart from wanting to get something _essential_ from this compound and from the people of it, I am not just Tobias's girlfriend. I am _also _a person of secrets_,_ playing a _role _to _someone else's _life and my part on that share is to remain here in Dauntless to get revenge and to _destroy_.

And with what I can see, I'm coming near to that point.

**A/N: I decided to end this chapter with that line to make you wonder what does Eliza means with, "I am **_**also**_** a person of secrets, playing a **_**role **_**to **_**someone else's **_**life and my part on that share is to remain here in Dauntless to get revenge and to **_**destroy**_**." You can guess what does it mean but I'd let you find out soon. : )**

**We only have 15 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS and 465 DAYS UNTIL THE DIVERGENT MOVIE!**

**-Iris**


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**A/N: I'm baaaaack! I'm apologizing for not updating in 4 days. It's exam week and I had to focus with studying my lessons, especially with Social Studies (the subject harder than Biology, I think) and last night was the Annual Christmas Ball at school. I guess I've been sort of a "wallflower" that night since I didn't go to the dance floor that much BUT I did join my classmates on the first three songs. ANYWAY….**

**Here's the seventeenth chapter for all of you! : )**

**-Iris Molefoursted**

**Chapter Seventeen: You Have Me**

**Three days later…**

**Eliza's POV**

I breathe out a sigh of impatience as I lean here in the railing of the Chasm. Waiting for people is like bacon to me; I don't like it. I've been standing here for ten minutes now but still, the person I've appointed a meeting with is not showing any sign yet that he's coming. Should I stay more or just leave? Tobias must be wondering already where I am and why I didn't tell him where I was going. It wasn't really my plan to tell him anyway. It's something that he's not supposed to have knowledge about because I knew that once he figures out what is this that I'm planning to do, he just might ruin it.

I tap my foot as I continue to wait and as I watch the water flows through the rocks beneath me. I've decided that unless he's not arriving yet, I would form a good idea first of what can I make him do to her. Will making him throw her through this railing a working option? Or should I better command him to hurt her physically so she'd learn her lesson from making me do those push-ups and for everything else that she did to _me_? She has to learn. And I have to take my revenge. There's only one person whom I know is willing to do it with and for me that I can trust to share the rage with. It's—

"For how long do you wait here?"

The question prickles at the back of my neck. Does he expect me to answer that? Ten minutes weren't that long but I truly don't like waiting.

Peter stands before me with his hands on the pockets of his jeans and with a nonchalant facial expression that either says he's enthusiastic to help me or he's too lazy to play hard on the Stiff. I will just ask for Eric's help instead if it's because of the latter.

I glance at my watch when I say, "You're ten minutes late, kid."

He snorts. "_Kid? _Really, Eliza, kid? When you told me you'll need my help to wreck the Stiff, you weren't saying that to a five-year-old boy. You don't ask a kid to _kill_ someone."

I cross my arms on his manner of speaking. Never before that had I felt like I'm talking to a sixteen-year-old who uses foul words as a language. Maybe this kid, I mean, _Peter_, has encountered such mishap when he was younger. But with that, we aren't the same. I didn't have a tough childhood as Tobias had. Perhaps that's a reason why I honestly didn't relate and reflect to his story about Marcus beating him when we were in initiation. I just listened. I just heard all about it. But I never cared, I guess, because he doesn't like it when people see him weak. Also, for me, I think it's a normal thing when fathers hit their children. I didn't just tell Tobias about my point of view of that for he might regret that he told me. I even needed him to trust me that time.

"I don't think I said the word 'kill' when I told you I needed you to give me a hand. Maybe yes I'm evil, Peter, but it's not beyond killing."

He tilts his head, "Really, Eliza?" he says sarcastically, "Then why are we here then? You asked me to come here to help you with becoming friends with her?"

He laughs, "No, of course not. Because you want me to harm her. You want me to do that because you _need _something here. And harming her, I'm telling you, is not far from killing her, anymore."

I bring down my arms from my chest and press my lips before I speak.

"If you insist that scaring her is equal to killing her then fine, I will take that." I form a scenario of Peter actually doing _it _already to that Stiff that I smirk in the midst of the weightiness on my voice, "But I want something better from what you did to her the last time when you brought company with you to throw her off the railing. I want something _worse _than that, Peter. And in order to accomplish it well, I want you to do it on your _own_. I think it's going to be done recovered if you just do it by yourself, with nobody else."

He lifts his shoulders and whistles, "I suppose I know what you yearn for me to do. It's not that going to be difficult. She's _just _small. And I guess even though I'm not yet doing it, she'd grow frightened already since in Abnegation, _it's _an illegal thing."

"Are you sure you can do it?" I only ask him that because I want him to protest that yes, he really can. In that way, I can begin on calling him as a _friend_.

"I've _almost _done it before, Eliza. Don't doubt that I can do it again with precise this time."

I lift my chin and bring my arms back against my chest, "Good."

"But of course… for me to do it in the way that you want… I have to know if I get something in return."

"You will get something in return."

"And what is that?"

"You would know if you get your job done."

He chuckles, "Like what I said, don't doubt."

The only thing that drives you to trust someone is when that person has proved to you that he's actually on your track, on your back. Right after Desiree, a friend that I had on the tattoo parlor, left to be factionless for her sister, I've never met anyone again that has the same goal as mine. But then when I thought that everyone else is pigheaded like Eric, whom you aren't sure if trustworthy or not, this sixteen-year-old wicked guy dropped by at my door as if we've interacted before and I've come to see that apart from Desiree, there's someone whom I have something in common with.

**Peter, the kid. **

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

Everybody is on bed once eleven p.m. strikes on the clock. Just like me. I'm laying down my bed already, the blanket covering my shivering body, and a soft pillow tucked beneath my head, soothing it. However, among these people I share the dormitory with, I'm the only left awake. Not because I hear Uriah snores near me or because I'm bothered with Christina's messy sleeping position which has her arms wide open on the sides as if she's ready to fly and the large strands of her hair covering her face, making her look like a white lady. I'm awake simply because I can't find the nerves yet to feel sleepy. No thoughts for tonight. No thoughts about Tobias or Eliza or anything else. I just can't sleep. That's it.

I feel my throat dry as I remain still here on my bed. I'm not moving much since I might make a sound that will wake my friends up. All I do is to stare at the wall, at Marlene's bunk and watch the door, imagining that it will suddenly open but it do not. I guess it won't even bother anyone of them if I take a stand and reach for the doorknob, right? I just need a glass of water right now. Perhaps if I get to drink to wash away the drought on my throat, I'd be able to sleep eventually.

I carefully rise from the pillow and set the blanket aside. I'm wearing shorts. But they aren't that short. I've just learned from Christina that if you want to sleep with console, you should throw away your pajamas and bring on with your shorts. She told me that it'd help me sleep well. It worked for the previous nights. But tonight… not really.

With caution, I twirl the knob around. I watch their faces as I do that so I will know if I've awaken anybody from them. No one do so. Good. I fit my body to the small opening that I've made since I don't want to undo the door so wide. When the knob has clicked quietly, I take the steps onto the cafeteria. It's silent at the dark hallways yet I'm not scared. I'm not afraid of the dark. But envisioning that someone will abruptly grab me—_kidnap_ me—yes, probably. I've seen that on my fear landscape. I didn't think Lauren's fear will turn out as mine, too, however, there weren't any hostages that happened here in the compound during the last few weeks so I guess I'm safe. At least.

Later, when I've reached the cafeteria, I get myself a glass and a pitch of water from the fridge. I wash the glass immediately after I used it, take back the pitch on its place and walk out of the cafeteria. My throat doesn't feel that dry anymore. I can swallow better now than I did when I was at my bed. This must be a sign that I can already fall to dream land where my friends are and tomorrow will be another day.

I've passed the clinic and the tattoo parlor. The lights in there are turned-off, making me imagine creatures emerging like magic and grabbing me by both arms, holding me so tight so I can't escape but I push the thought away. I'm just scaring myself. I'm just thinking things like that right now because it's midnight and no one is awake anymore. Also, that couldn't happen. I'm almost near the dormitory. Once I enter, close and lock the door, nobody—no creature—can come and get me. That makes me amble faster. I want to go back to bed too quick. But in a sudden, all of my musings about the creatures, the darkness and the kidnappers come together in one point when someone _finally _and _actually _makes them come to life. I wasn't able to scream in help on time although I want to, although I _need _to. His hand can manage to cover my lips skillfully to prevent me from shrieking as if he's done this a lot of times before. His other hand gathers around my waist firmly, causing me to have a difficult chance of breathing. If his aim is to kill me with a dagger or any weapon then he must be conquering it already through this simpler way of taking air away from me.

But I shouldn't allow him to arrive at that point. Having me on his power, on his strong arms, doesn't mean I will just stand here, being close to death and doing nothing. I've encountered something like this few days ago with Eliza's control and Peter has put me conscious before during initiation so therefore, setting myself free from the grip is no longer strange. I have to remind myself the things that Dauntless has taught me here.

_How to act in the midst of fear._

With my hands that are of use, I attempt to drag his hand on my mouth away. But he's so strong, stronger than me maybe, that I groan when he fastens it more. I start to throw my legs on air playfully, thinking in that way, I will slide down from his hold on my waist. But it doesn't work. He toddles away from the hallways, me remaining on his arms and my eyes grow larger when I find out that he's taking us—_me_—to the Pit. The Pit where the _Chasm _is.

_**No.**_

I want to say the word "no" through screaming but it doesn't come in that manner. It happens to be a whisper. A terrified whisper in my brain. _**No… no…. **_Not here again. Never here again. This is _the _place that I hate the most yet I still go here. But _that_ Chasm, _that _railing was just two of the things that almost ended my life. They couldn't do it to me again. _Not again._

"_Per re dawn_!" I don't sound clear with his hand on my mouth but _he _must have understood it because he replies, "You're going to end tonight, Stiff." And with that, I already know who this is.

For the second time, I fly my hands up to his hand in order to pull it away from my mouth but as I do it, he just comes closer and closer to the railing. He will do it again, I know. He will throw me off there. He will kill me. But I _will not _die. I will not because—

With such force that I've earned from my fear of being thrown off again, I yank his forearm and I'm too surprised that I've made it. However, this is no time to be triumph. Not yet. To take his power over me fully gone, I bite his wrist with such anger—anger for all that he's done, anger for his attempt of murdering me, anger for his third try of stealing my life—and when I've tasted blood, I hear him growl in pain. That is when his other hand loosens around my waist and I have to take that prospect to _run. Run, Tris, run faster. _But I don't where to go. Does it matter? It must be important. I need to run to a place where I could be temporarily safe. Or I could yell for help. To wake the people up. To wake my friends up. Or I could face him straight ahead to show him that I'm not the same Tris he's tried to kill few months back. But I don't know. The only option that I could come up with by this moment is to run while he suffers in twinge. I do not regret that I bit him. He must know that what he did to me is worse than that simple bleeding wrist of him.

I'm already running but not assured if I've ran far enough for him not to reach me. I'm coming near the hallways. The hallways where there is no hint of refuge yet I will still look for one. But when I believed that I could truly escape from him when I see the door of the dormitory from afar, he grabs me on my ankle by bombshell that I stumble down like I just crashed from a wrestling match, my chest against the ground. I strive to hold onto the rough surface of the floor to gain support so I could stand again but from my foot, he crawls closer, searching for me, searching for my _body_. Soon, before I could protest, he reaches my back. I make another try to find support but he's cornered me with his arms again. He holds me sternly on my shoulders and turns my back on the floor, making me face him. This is probably the worst position that I've had in my entire life. The position of having my back against the ground, my arms gripped with his brawny hands on the sides, my knees being topped with his knees and myself being trapped by the one of the people I have strong hatred for. Worst, the more I struggle to gain my vigor back, the more he tightens his hold. It makes me ache.

"We see again, Stiff." Peter says with malice, "But I'm afraid we won't be seeing each other again after I do _this._"

I don't have to conjecture what he is talking about because he does it right away. He ducks his head under my chin—on my neck—and begins showering it with kisses. The first sound that comes out from my mouth is a screech. A loud screech. I want to use my ability through my knees but my legs couldn't move. His knees are pressed rigidly on mine. I want to smack him in the face _hard _and purposely _kill _him but my arms are glued on the sides. They feel weak.

From my neck, Peter searches downwards my chest. That is when I scream louder although I know that my last scream was the loudest. But at the same time, that is when I strive to fight again by using the only potency left in me—my _weak potency_—to free my arms from his grip. Once again, I succeed. He is aroused when he finds out that I've made it so he lifts his head to see me but I instantly punch his face. Not just once. Not just twice. But thrice. And when he falls his back to the floor, I crouch beside him and smack his face some more. Blood starts to paint my knuckles as well as his nose and jaw but _I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. _The last thing that I wanted is to stop. So I won't. But then again, he's caught me on occasion when my fist is just about to hit his nose. He curls his hand around my fist and lifts his back from the floor. The next thing I know, I'm on the same dreadful position again. But this time, when I try to do the same strategy to set myself free, it is no longer working. His hold has squeezed than before and my yelp has been more earsplitting than before especially when he trails down kisses on my neck again, going down my chest, going down to my stomach.

I thought this is the last time that I would try to save my life and this is where it will all end but in a sudden, I've heard a hint of anticipation that maybe this isn't it yet.

"Get _yourself _off of her!"

I stop screaming when I hear the voice and footsteps coming from behind. It sounds familiar. He's come here.

On the dark view of the ceiling, someone emerges in my sight. He instantaneously drag Peter away from me with such might that I hear him groan from somewhere already afar. Uriah must have brought him to an area where he couldn't get his hands back on me. I heed the punches from that place but I don't know to whom they come from. In my estimation, the authority is on Uriah's because I can hear him say foul words on Peter as the sounds of fuming fists prolong. But maybe Peter has gained back his energy and dragged Uriah down to his position to make him pay because when I curl myself like a fetus inside her mother's womb; it is Uriah who's groaning in pain already. _No. Not him. Not my friend. _No matter how I want to stand here and defend him, I cannot find the strength to do so. All that I've managed to do is to shut my eyes, with my arms wrapped around the stomach that Peter has touched with venom.

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

Since the last week, it's already been a hobby of mine to visit the training room to shoot guns and throw knives on the target. Tonight, I am here again. However, not just because I can't sleep yet but also because this is the only place I can manage to go at in order to reminisce that _wonderful _night that I had with Tris. I caught myself hoping for it to happen again, for our hands to hold again, for our foreheads to meet again, but I know better now that she doesn't want the same thing.

I was shooting pistols hitting the dead center of the target when I stop to reassure myself if I just heard a scream.

Primarily, I thought I'm just drawn with the piercing sound that my gun makes but when I was about to shoot again, the scream repeated and I knew that I'm not misinterpreting it. Someone _did _scream. It didn't sound fun. It sounded hurt. It was mad. And it bothered me that I had to bring the pistol down the table with speed and run out of the training room. This is no time of walking. The loss of the screaming doesn't seem to relieve me. Instead, it frightens me more. It makes me worry more of what that was for and _who _was that. As I rewind what I've heard, it was a call of a female voice. I don't know who could that be; if it's one of my initiates or one of the employees here on Dauntless but I've grown more scared—and I've never been this scared in my life before—when the thought of Tris being the one screaming while I was shooting pistols, flash to my mind.

_It couldn't be Tris. It couldn't be her. Please, let it not be her._

As I pace down the hallways, I hear another sound. But this time, it was no longer a yelp. It's a sound of two people spanking each other; two people bickering. And when I slowly step out of the darkness, the first image that I saw—which nearly broke my heart and made me grew in rage—is Tris, the girl that I never want to see hurt—is curled on the floor, her hair dumped. From her, my eyes shift upwards and see the two people that I've heard earlier.

Peter and Uriah making each other compensate.

Quickly, I run to them and drag Peter away from Uriah who's lying blood-scattered on the floor. His eyes are bulging and they can no longer look at me straight. His arms look weak. His hair, like Tris, is dumped and all that he can manage to do is to mouth the words to me, "_Tris. Save her from Peter." _I nod on Uriah although I'm not sure if that's what he really said but it doesn't matter because it's exactly what I'm going to do. From Uriah, I turn my back to Peter, who's lying conscious on the ground. I don't care if he's covered with red now. He's not gotten that enough yet. I crouch in front of him and punch his face, making it contort from the vigor. He no longer groans. Perhaps he's lost the energy to do it so. But still, I grab him by the hem of his shirt and tell him my words,

"You really don't learn your lesson, don't you, Peter? You've done this before and you did it again. Why, ha? What do you really want? And who asked you to do _this_?"

He doesn't answer. His eyes are about to close. And when they do, I drop him recklessly on the floor. I rise from where I crouched and turn to Uriah. He's not awake anymore. I feel bad for him. He must be delivered to the infirmary now but at the same time, I couldn't just leave Tris here. As I think of a way on how to deal with this, the solution has come right away. The door from the hallways, probably the door of the dormitory, flies open and pack of people came running forward.

No doubt they were Tris and Uriah's friends.

"_Oh my God!_" Christina's sleepy eyes have gone when she covers her mouth with her hand. The others, who must be dizzy right now from sleep, have been awaken. They couldn't believe what they see.

"Four, what happened?" Will asks in panic, "W-what happened?"

"I don't know as much as you don't know. But this is not the right time to raise questions. Take Uriah and Peter to the infirmary. _Now._"

At first, no one moves. So I decided to function my voice as Four the instructor and repeats my command. _"Now." _And they begin moving.

I saw how Christina and the others don't want to leave Tris here, doing nothing for her, but they have to help each other to bring the two injured people to the infirmary. When they have gone, I amble towards Tris and slide an arm beneath her back to sit her up, to steady her. She isn't injured, I realize. I thought she was only paralyzed so she isn't moving but when I've succeed with bringing her to a sitting position; she suddenly begins on throwing off her arms and screaming, making me bolt from the blue.

"_No, no, no! Stay away from me! Stay away! No! Don't touch me! No, no, don't touch me! No! No!" _

And before I knew it, she's already crying. Crying as she shrieks. Crying as she punches me in the chest like a little girl. Crying as she tries to keep herself away from me. Crying as she tries to escape. But I don't let her. I take hold of her arms so she'd stop punching me then with the softest voice that I could possess, I say, "Shhh, Tris. Don't be scared anymore. I'm here."

But she is still screaming the words, "Stay away from me! Don't _touch _me!"

When she said those at first, I wasn't paying attention. But when she said them again, the mad realization hits me. _Touch. Don't touch me_, she said. _No! No! Stay away from me! Don't touch me! _

Peter.

That bastard Peter. That Peter who knocked her off during the first stage of initiation. That Peter who tried to kill her few months back. That Peter who never chooses a right moment to bully her. That Peter who's hitting her on her weakness. That Peter _touched _her. That Peter touched the girl that I _love_.

I said it. But I'm not taking it back. Because it's true.

And now Tris says things for me to stay away because she's still on the panorama when Peter was playing with her femininity. She thought Peter's still here. She thought I _am _Peter. But I won't be staying away from her. Most especially after this. I won't let this happen to her again.

"Tris, listen." I say when she gets tired of yelping and her voice becomes more quiet when she says 'Stay away from me.'

I frame her face with both hands and continue, "_I'm here._ Peter's gone. I'm here, you hear me? _Four_ is here. _Tobias _is here."

"Stay…. Away…." That is the last time she says it. The next words, 'From me' didn't come after. I'm having the feeling that perhaps she's finally realized that she's safe here. _With me_.

I search for her eyes but I see nothing but tears streaming down her cheeks. Soon, the tears block her sight and all that she can manage to do is to say my name when she's come to grow calm.

"Tobias…" she says between hiccups. "Tobias…he….he t-touched m-me. He…"

"Shhh," I say, putting my fingertip on her lips. I can't stand seeing her like this. I can't stand seeing her cry. Seeing her hurt. It breaks my heart. It _truly_ breaks my heart. "Don't talk. It's alright now. He won't touch you again. Ever. I wouldn't let him do it you once more time. It's okay."

And when she says nothing anymore, she's left with the crying. Tris is a brave person—the bravest person that I've ever met—but it were the bravest people that we know who weep the hardest. But I'm not braver than Tris. She's much braver than me. That is why I can feel a thousand needles pinching my heart as the tears prolong to pour down from her eyes and as her trembling hands slowly wrap around my waist.

I don't protest when she does so. Instead, I pull her against my chest and I bury my face on her hair, hugging her tighter. In return, she squeezes her hold on my waist, still crying but not irrepressible like before. Her whimpers begin to slow down and her hiccups, I don't much notice, have faded. Soon, all that I can hear from her is her breaths. Relieved breaths. We stay that way for a longer time, not wanting to let go of each other. When I feel her fingers rubbing the small of my back, I kiss her hair _and_, with the most hushed tone that I can manage, I tell her,

"I love you, Tris."

**A/N: There you go guys! : ) I made this chapter long because I haven't updated for four days. I want all of you to know that I'm not going to leave this story unfinished. I'd keep this going. Only that, on Wednesday, I and my family will go to the province to celebrate Christmas with our relatives. There is no internet connection in there. BUT BUT BUT, I'm going to bring the laptop so I can type the next chapters and when we come back home, I will just post them and you will read with no breaks. : )**

**Please leave a review of what you think of this chapter. I always appreciate your reviews. : )**

**460 DAYS UNTIL THE DIVERGENT MOVIE! I'M EXCITED!**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter Eighteen: Touch of Horror**

**Tobias's POV**

"I love you, Tris." I murmur against her hair.

My arms lingered around her as well as her grasp on my waist stay that way. I don't know if she heard me say I love her but I'm between two yearnings—one that I hope she did hear me because it's all that I ever wanted her to know and second is that I hope my confession wouldn't get her to danger, into something worse than this. Peter must pay for doing this to her and whoever commanded him to do it. As of now, I have no clue of to whom he's company with onto this matter but whoever that is; both of them shall get what they deserve for aiming to hurt Tris.

I don't want to let go of the embrace yet but as thoughts fill a box in my mind, Tris suddenly lean back to search for my expression. Although she just came from an appalling event and from a crying session, I can still sense the strength in her eyes, the same strength that I've witnessed when she beat Molly on the first stage of initiation. But nonetheless of that, I know that for an instant, she felt weak. Perhaps it wasn't an inclusive weakness but there was a big part of her that thought she will end in one blink of an eye. But here she is now, sheltered by my arms. I wish I can keep her that way for how long I wanted to.

"You're safe now," I oath to her as I draw a strand of her hair on her face and tuck it behind her ear. "No one's going to hurt you…again." I incline my head and kiss her forehead.

"Tobias…" her voice sounds different—probably because she just cried. "I don't want to… I don't want to remember what happened. I-I don't want to see the image of me being—"

"Push that thought away, Tris. Don't rewind every detail all over again,"

I haven't heard yet about what exactly happened and how it started but even though I can ask her to tell me, still, I wouldn't do so. I don't want to _hear_ how Peter laid a hand on her; I don't want to imagine Tris screaming for help. Not because I find it senseless and unworthy of attention but because like her, I don't want to remember what happened. I don't want to see the paint of pain in her face, ever again.

"Just like what I told you before," I say as I attach my forehead on hers. "You could rely on your friends to protect you." But I want to be the one to protect her. I want to be the one defending her from Peter or from anybody else. But we are in a complicated situation. She has a boyfriend—who just rescued her on the first place—and I have a girlfriend—who wants everything, want _me _to be just all hers. Seeing me being with other people, either a friend or just an initiate, she will give deeper meaning to it, assuming that I'm cheating. She's been like that for a year now and I've grown tired of it.

"Peter will pay soon, Tris. Not just for what he has done recently but for everything else that he did."

"Where is he now, by the way?" her voice is slowly coming back to normal. She locks her eyes on mine and I couldn't help but to love her more for her beautiful eyes that illustrate courage despite of the catastrophes that she's encountered.

"Your friends brought him to the infirmary just a while ago. He's blood-spattered."

I hear her swallow hard before she says, "I hope he dies."

Tris meant it when she said it. I've long since learned since initiation that she truly has a divergent of outlooks, making her different from the rest of the initiates, from the other girls that I knew and most of all, from Eliza. Primarily, people will mull over the fact that she's small and a Stiff when they first see her. Yet, with my case when she first jumped off on that net, when I helped her reach the ground and when I asked her name, the first thing that flashed into my mind is that this girl's the _one _who will put me into a roller coaster ride of sentiments. I didn't know that it will turn out right.

"I shall take you to your dormitory now." I say, "You need to rest yourself. It's been a rough time. You can go and see Uriah later."

"But I want to see him now. I-I haven't defend him from Peter when he came to rescue me."

"Peter is there too."

"But he's unconscious. He won't be able to reach me again and my friends are there."

He really does want to see Uriah, doesn't she? At the most part, he is her boyfriend and he was the first one to come and save her before I did. It'll be too selfish of me to forbid her from visiting him in the infirmary since apart from being her instructor during initiation, I am nobody else in her life, stating the fact that I have no right to tell her if she can or she cannot stay by Uriah's side. This is no time to get jealous or anything. Uriah isn't on a good condition by now.

"Okay, you can go and see him. But I will accompany you on the way there."

She nods.

I take the turn to stand up at the first place then I help her rise by reaching for her hands. She rubs her shirt, putting the dusts away and looks at me afterwards. "Let's go,"

Once we reach the infirmary, Uriah is surrounded by their comrades. Peter, on the contrary, has no company at all except for the bandages covering his injured parts. Uriah, unlike Peter, is awake. He lies there on the bed with a wrecked face but it's not less likely to be seen because he knows much well how to mask it nevertheless of the ache. He's more Dauntless than Peter is.

"Uriah…" Tris says when she steps in. All of their eyes cast on her as if they've seen a ghost and in a sudden, Christina runs to her friend to lock her in a clinch. "Tris, what happened to you there?"

Tris squeezes her arms around Christina but it doesn't last very long. After a few seconds, they break apart, leaving Tris the liability to explain. But she refuses to begin by telling them about it right away. She first walk towards Uriah, bypassing Christina and pulls a chair to sit beside him. Uriah beams when he sees the image of her girlfriend while on my part, I try not to show any hint of longing to have Tris by my side. Uriah needs him more than I do right now. I shall give them this moment.

When I find a preference to speak in the midst of the silence, there I say,

"I'd leave for a while."

I don't linger anymore to see if anyone pays attention to what I just said or if anyone was even aware of my presence. I left the infirmary a second after I said so and turn to the hallways to go back to the training room. I'm not on the ambiance of dropping by to my own girlfriend's apartment.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

"Hey," I say with my softest voice that Uriah wouldn't hear if I'm not near. "I'm sorry if I haven't done anything to shield you. Look what happened, then. You're—"

"I wasn't expecting you to do so, Tris." Uriah says with a kind tone. "I saw what he did to you so you didn't have to defend me and you don't have to be sorry."

He's sounding like Abnegation and I'm not used with it. He wasn't a Stiff. Never been a Stiff. He's a Dauntless-born. I don't understand why I can easily sense how selfless he sounds but I don't put much consideration to that.

"What did Peter do to you, Tris?" Christina asks in the middle of my and Uriah's eyes meeting. I feel bad for him. "_What_?"

Peter's bed is sort of far from Uriah's. Likewise, he's asleep. Or at least that's what he chooses to show. _That he's sleeping_. But truly, he's planning to eavesdrop. He must be planning something more evil and that doesn't sound bizarre for he never does anything good.

I peek over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of Peter to assure if he's blinking but instead of feeling awe about him for his injuries, I rather feel joyful that he lies there cataleptic. I don't think this hatred that I undergo for him will ever fade and I don't think that there would be a day when I'm going to look at him as if he's one of the kindest people that I know in my life because for once, he didn't do anything to show me that he's worthy of my fidelity.

"He did _it_." I say bitterly as my eyes don't leave Peter's face. "He amused himself by my femininity as if it's a hell of a toy."

From the corner of my eye, I see Shauna flies a hand on her mouth. She's obviously shock but I don't know _why_. Perhaps it's because in her component, despite of Peter's wickedness, he couldn't do something as dreadful as that—as _that _touching and all. But he just did. And it just shows that he doesn't decide if what he's about to perform will harm anybody and how will it affect a life, a being. He's nothing but a coward like Al.

"How dare him!" Marlene says with fury, "How could he have done _such_ a thing!"

"He's insane." Zeke says, "You know what they do to people like that? Kick them out of here in the Dauntless compound and throw them to the factionless area."

"There's something better than that." Lynn suggests as she presses her arms against her chest. "They execute them for such cruelty. So don't get surprised if Peter is put to death or is killed."

When they have said their reactions, I turn to Will and Christina who are left saying nothing yet. Will looks at me with empathy and as much as I hate it when people look at me that way, I couldn't return him a bitter look. On the other hand, Christina's lips are parted as her eyes bolt on me that either means she feels the same thing about as Will does—the pity—or she's trying to play the consequences of the recent happening in her mind and finds it dire than she should.

Eventually, Will breaks the spell.

"We'd be needing to guide you Tris after this." He says, "_Allow_ us to do it."

I know for sure that the reason why Will emphasizes permission is because since initiation, I was already acting like I can manage things my way as if I don't need anybody's assistance. But with this, I'm starting to believe that maybe Tobias is right. That I should rely on my friends to guard me. What's the sense of the friendship that we have then if I don't trust them that I can turn to them for protection?

"Will's right." Christina says in unison. "You know that we don't want this to occur again."

"I'm joining,"

I'm too focused with my friends are saying that I didn't immediately realize that the voice came from Uriah. I turn my head to him and I see that he's striving to look at us straightly.

"When I get out of this infirmary, I'd be joining you."

"As if it's going to be that easy, Uriah." Shauna says, "You don't get so fine right away right after you're prescribed to move around again. You, too, need to be guarded."

"I do not!" Uriah says in defense but his voice doesn't go so high. "These—_these _wounds wouldn't last for too long. I will be fine. That says that I'm involved with protecting Tris."

In a sudden, I feel uneasy. Not because the reflection of me clutched to that floor at the Pit while Peter lies on top of me flashes to my memory again. Rather because I'm being the center of attention. Although I'm already a Dauntless member, my dislike towards being the main concentration still doesn't go away. I guess, really, there's always going to be Abnegation in me no matter how old I am or how seasons pass fast.

And as my eyes find Peter's bed again, the thoughts that I'm avoiding, come to reminiscence again, making me curl my hand on a fist in a manner that none of my friends notices. Yes, I do feel indebted that I have this kind of people in my life. I suppose they belong to the list of people that I find brave. The first one on the record, of course, is my father, followed by my mother, Caleb on the third spot and Tobias, under Caleb's name, on the fourth spot. The rest, which are my friends, own the other places left. However, even though they're already persuaded to be my bodyguards, part of me, I guess, will remain afraid at a cost that I cannot much tell.

Afraid not because Peter might give it another try one more time. Afraid not because Eliza isn't done with her revenge yet. Afraid not because in a bat of an eye, all of these will take over my entire life.

But somewhat because…

I haven't overcome my fear of _intimacy_ yet. What Peter did to me—I'd be honest—made me _more _petrified. I've arrived on a deliberation that maybe, just maybe, I will encounter the same thing—or most likely something more horrible—when I get connected with someone on the future. I'm scared that if I dare to _love _and to _attach_ myself with a chap, I would live all the way through a nightmare that's darker than what happened to me previously. And now I am asking myself. _Will _I ever reach to that point? Will I ever get to the state of affairs when I'm going and I _have _to be with somebody?

And the scariest thing of all…

Am I going to trounce my fear or I'm going to be left by a person whom I cannot pass the terms of?

The thought suddenly vary to Tobias.

**A/N: Exams are done! It's our Christmas vacation! : )**

**And since we're going to our relatives' place tomorrow already, I'm now going to greet you an ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope you will have a great one! **

**458 DAYS UNTIL THE DIVERGENT MOVIE! **

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter Nineteen: When Anger Collides**

**Eliza's POV**

Since I woke up this morning and was about to head towards the dining hall to have breakfast, I'm already hearing people gossip about something I barely have an idea about. I try to shape out their words to at least get a clue but at the same time, they try to keep their voices imperceptible. However, fortunately, in my longing to cut this curiosity off, there's a duo by the Pit, whose voices aren't difficult to overhear, that are conversing about the same subject. I eavesdrop without being apparent.

"He _did _that?" the girl on a ponytail inquires with disbelief. "She must be poor, then. I mean… there's no such thing as _that _on the faction that she came from."

"But she's Dauntless now. You know the point. Nevertheless of what happened, she could have just showed a hint so." say the other lass with a piercing on her chin.

"Well… we don't even know the whole story. But I still think it's awful."

"Peter's brought to the infirmary already. It's less awful now. We just have to see what happens next."

_Peter._

I suddenly remember the conversation that we had yesterday. A lifting of both wonder and triumph fill my stomach at the same time that I don't know if I should amble towards the infirmary now or take the turn to the dining hall at the first place. But if I would go and see Peter there, I must be assured if anybody will see me. You know the drill. If someone does, the suspicion will begin and it will spread across the compound until everybody has finally found out about my scheme. No, my _and _Peter's scheme. I look around the Pit to see if aside from the two girls gossiping, there are other people scattered. I see no sign of the Stiff or anyone from her friends. I bet they're at the dining hall right now and won't show up until twenty minutes—at least. I must now meet Peter.

A nurse sits behind a mahogany desk, doing paper works, when I arrived. She asks me who I want to visit and since I'm not certain of who else are confined here, I just blurt out; "Peter" right ahead but I add further excuse why. I tell her I want to see him for a business-concerned matter regarding about the coming initiation and he must be informed already. I don't know if it's believable or accurate but I don't think she doubts because she allows me to come in anyway right after telling me where Peter is located. I no longer bothered of asking her to never tell anyone that I've come since I won't even stay for so long. Furthermore, I told her that my intention here is for business reminders and I suppose issues like that don't last for fifteen minutes.

When I closed the door behind me, I was kind of surprised to see Uriah, a Dauntless-born who chose to be friends with a Stiff. He's asleep—good—but he also has a few bandages on his face—obviously responsible for covering the wounds, and near his jaw and on his fore arms. Soon, I presume, his friends will come for a visit so this is no time to twist guesses about what brought him here. Before they could catch me on act here, I will now head straight to Peter's place.

I find Peter lying like a paralyzed being that has no any other option but to stare above the ceiling. He seems strange. He's got more injuries than Uriah has and his face looks worse than Uriah also. I thought he's succeed with scaring off the Stiff since that's what I've heard, or at least, that's what the recent blond girl meant—but—he's here at the infirmary, making me confuse if he really obtained victory.

"Peter," I call sternly as I search for a chair. As I find one beside a desk that has a tray of medicine tablets and syrup bottles, I push it toward the side of the bed. Eventually, Peter has the mind to tilt his head to see me. He must know that staring at the ceiling like an innocent boy who lost his balloon doesn't suits him.

"Listen, Peter, I have to be quick with you here or else—"

When I first saw Peter here a minute ago, the first thing that I've expected is that he's contorting his face in agony of what his body has claimed. I also thought he would just prolong on staring up the ceiling like nobody came inside to meet him. But I almost pull away from the bed when he abruptly escapes a hysterical laugh as if none of these occurred to him.

"What's funny?" I am dead serious. "I don't have time to play jokes with you, Peter. I came to know if you've done what I asked you to do and if—"

"Oh," he says sounding sarcastic. I think maybe he is. "You should've been there, Eliza. You should've seen how I did it and how I scared the Stiff as hell. I suppose you would have enjoyed it." He snorts. "Because I did."

I don't know if I should be laughing with him right now or not. Perhaps I should because that Stiff got served but I just watch him smirk like a nonchalant person who's forgotten what she wanted.

"So… it really worked, huh?" It must be a stupid question showing no enthusiasm but I'm feeling the urge to get the details quick in a minute so I could get out of here now before somebody comes to visit Uriah.

"Of course, it did. Because it was me. She hated me so much that when I showered her with kisses she couldn't hate me any less. Remembering all of it is funny, you know. She was so funny." And he's laughing again, giving his wounds an ownership of his face.

"Good," is all what I can manage to say. I see Peter shoots me a look of disbelief at the corner of my eye. I knew he would do so. He's probably wondering—_annoyed—_that I just sit here and talk like a robot. But what does he expect me to do other than that? Jump in joy and scream in triumph? Really, in this place? I figured out that this infirmary is no good choice at all for this discussion. If we're in some other part of the Dauntless compound, I'm not in a hurry right now and at the same time, I am laughing with him.

"But I don't understand what is Uriah doing here… being that injured. Does it have something to do with you? With last night?"

Peter twitches the corner of his lips. "For the most part, yes. In a sudden he came running towards us, commanding me to let go of the Stiff and the next thing I knew, he's dragged me off of her and we're smacking each other on the floor with eagerness."

"So he came to save her."

"Yes he did. But I can tell that he's too late because I've done my part well already when he arrived. So all that I had to do was to accept his challenge for a fight. Here you see the outcome."

I shift my eyes to his face and onto his arms. They're dressed with bandages. He even hardly moves them and when he does, it doesn't get so far until it might hurt. Once he tries to move his head, his face will _slightly_ contort because of the ache his wounds carry behind the dressings. But still, I don't know how he can manage to laugh and feel like a king nonetheless of those scars. I bet he's naturally wicked.

"What happened next, then?" my voice has become tense unlike the past few minutes.

"Well… I think all I knew was that we're having our own version of a wrestling match but… in a quick switch of events; someone pulled me off of Uriah and gave me a sequence of punches that made my face worse."

Peter is staring up the ceiling again but not in the same way as before. Now he looks more assured as if there's something I have to know and there goes his gaze again that casts a hint of tease.

"Who was that?" I figure out that I said that with fury underneath. "Who _came_?"

From the plain white ceiling attached with a light bulb above, Peter shifts his eyes on me—that look. I know that look. It's the same manner that Eric has. The same manner a person who has something to reveal has. Peter _has _something to reveal.

"Your boyfriend," he says, "Your boyfriend came. How's that sound?"

_Four? _I ask him mentally and I realize it's foolish of me to reassure. Of course it's him. Who else is _my _boyfriend? And who else will come in the scene where the Stiff is? It's only him. Suddenly I feel my hands curling into a fist and I could burst in any second. Yet Peter just lies there, watching me with amusement as though there's something to find as fascinating. Maybe for him this is fun but to me this is bullshit. He's really _trying _me, isn't he? _Tobias _is trying me. _They _are trying me. And I guess this is no time anymore to make the wait longer. I need to make them pay now. _All of them._

In the midst of silence after Peter has revealed that truth, I rise from the chair with lips pressed. I think I startle him a bit that I feel his gaze prickling on me as I stand on my feet.

"You're now going?" he queries as if it's not evident. "And what will you do?"

I look at him through the corner of my eye. "You'd find out sooner."

And without hesitation, I push the chair out of my way and reaches for the door. I no longer have the mind to look back to see if Peter has something else to say because I don't want to hear more. I pass by Uriah's locality without checking if he's awake and if he'll catch me present here in the infirmary. For now I don't care if he'd see me or if he won't because all that I can put my senses into is how I'm going to destroy them one by one.

And that includes Tobias.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

We spent more time with Uriah yesterday and this morning. We brought him the types of food required for a patient and for his condition. As I was helping him with the bowl of hot soup, our friends were telling jokes and stories for entertainment. We became more cautious, also, to discuss about anything related to the previous incident since Peter is still on the other side of the room. There's no doubt that he can listen anytime and once he gets the permit to log off of the infirmary, he could give information to whoever he's allied with. Or… is there really someone?

Fortunately for Uriah, his wounds aren't that bad as Peter's. Yes, he's got injured too but his healing process helps those wounds to be better and his body to gain energy again. Maybe it's how Uriah deals with the situation or maybe it's us, his friends, who don't leave his side, who take good care of him, who make sure his health progress is balanced while he lies on bed all day long. But at the end of the day, I think it's all of us who make one another feel welcome, cherished and loved nevertheless of the crisis.

This afternoon, thankfully, Uriah was authorized to leave the infirmary already. The doctor said he—we—just have to watch over his health and his actions so his condition won't be any bad. He also prescribed Uriah to avoid moving much for a while and to perform courses of action that might cause him sick, which is not far from dangerous. So to speak, whenever he wants to eat something or wants to go to the bathroom for example, either Will or Zeke will accompany him and wait for him outside. In case he misses something, there's someone who can hand him some help so he doesn't have to be totally helpless.

When evening hugs the Dauntless compound, I, together with Lynn, Shauna, Uriah and Will go to the dining hall. The rest like Zeke, Marlene and Christina will follow up, they said. Shauna volunteered to take charge of Uriah tonight. According to her, it's no big deal and she'd be glad to guard him. We take the same table that we use as usual. Uriah doesn't need much help when he sits so all that Shauna has to do is to get the two of them a plate as we help ourselves.

I get beans and a burger on my plate, the same food my friends got. Christina and the rest came in about five minutes later and took their seats with us. We know how Uriah doesn't want to feel and be guided like a baby but he couldn't protest as Shauna helps him eat his meal. Uriah cannot move his right hand well—exactly the hand he uses when moving since he's right-handed. Therefore, he's got no excuse to refuse of being taking care of this way. We just laugh at them actually, probably the only thing we know so Uriah wouldn't see all of these too seriously.

"I remember being the one doing that to him when we were still kids." Zeke reveals, "But he's messy when he eats that I have to wipe the table every five seconds."

With that, we converge into laughter.

"I don't remember that," Uriah says while chewing.

"Of course you do, brother. It even took you three minutes, I think, before you open your mouth again. Once I thought you're playing with your food."

More series of laughter. Soon, Uriah is already laughing with us.

"Perhaps you thought food is a toy."

As the conversation goes more enjoyable, I figure out that we—_I_—almost forgot about the occurrence the other night. In fact, I don't want to remember any of it anymore. Or maybe there are some parts that I want to. Like how Tobias gathered me into his arms, the way he buried his face onto my hair, and the way his voice sounded hush when he whispered something I hardly heard. I thought it could only be my delusion that he did say something since the words appeared to be grumbled but I had no time to verify if there really was.

Through the corner of my eye, I see a human-figured coming in. I glance at the doorway to see who that is and instantly, the images of the other night are running back. Eliza toddles toward the fridge at the first place, ignoring everybody. She always does. The fingers wrapped around my spoon tightened that if I loosen them, I might go all fury and throw this spoon on her direction, right on her face. But I'm surprised that they remain curled around the spoon.

"We'll just go and get cupcakes. Do you want some, guys?"

From Eliza, I immediately twirl my head to Shauna and Uriah arisen from their seats. Christina and Marlene said they want one but when Shauna asked me if I want too, I just shake my head with a smile that I can manage to give. Eliza's head is still ducked inside the fridge when Shauna and Uriah arrive at the counter which is just a few inches away from the fridge, from Eliza.

It doesn't take them five minutes to gather cupcakes on a tray. In less than a minute, they're already walking back to our table. But the moment Shauna's getting a bite from her cupcake that is the moment when Eliza has done her business on the fridge. Once she closes the door and the light was eaten inside, she turns around drinking from a bottle of orange juice. And like what I've pictured to happen at the back of my mind, she meets at one point with Shauna and Uriah, causing them to bump one another. The tunnel of Eliza's bottle excels on her mouth. A waterfall of juice streams down her shirt with her jaw open. Worse, the cupcake that Shauna was eating finds its way to Eliza's shirt, collaborating with the juice that has just poured down. Suddenly, all of the conversations filling the dining hall stop at the same time. All eyes on the incident.

"You are such a walking disaster!" Eliza blurts out, "Weren't you watching the path you're leading to?!"

I knew this is coming since Shauna handed Eliza her extra paint ball. The way Eliza looked at Shauna that day was like she wanted to swallow her whole.

"It was an accident," Uriah says, making me wish he shouldn't have spoken. It's not impossible that Eliza wouldn't make him pay for his tongue.

"An accident?" Eliza says sarcastically. Right after that, she's already laughing hysterically. "Why won't you just say it right ahead that you two did that on purpose? Look what you just did on my shirt!"

"Was it our fault that you're walking while drinking a bottle of juice, ha?" Shauna snaps. This is the attitude that we, her friends, know that she has. "You're not a Dauntless queen here, in case you've forgotten. You're _just a _girlfriend of one of the instructors and nothing else!"

And before we all knew it, Eliza's already twisting Shauna's wrist sternly that caused for the tray of cupcakes to fall on the floor, hitting Uriah's foot. It made him groan silently like the ache climbs from his foot up to his other body parts. That is also the instant that I suddenly rise from my chair, getting everybody's attention. But it is not their attention that I'm seeking for that's why I'm doing this. It's my body that feels the urge to go towards them, towards Eliza and smack her right on the face.

"Tris, wait this is—" Will tries to say and tries to seize my arm but he doesn't succeed. The next thing I know, I'm already grabbing the arm that Eliza uses to twist Shauna's wrist and that it's now my turn to cage her wrist with my hand so stiff. Her face shows how much she attempts to get it off of her.

"So what is this?" she asks, "Came to defend your boyfriend and your friend that looks like a rug?" and she snorts after, "If your boyfriend just knew that you are flirting with my—"

"Don't you talk to my friends that way, Eliza." My voice sounds like a pistol hitting the center target when I said her name. "And don't you ever treat them that way or else you will have to face me."

She uses her other hand to free herself from my grasp but I think that's probably a big mistake of hers because I catch it on my control before she could release herself. Now I hold both of her wrists on such vigor that I suppose she cannot handle.

"I know, Eliza." I say with venom, "_I know. _I am not an idiot."

"What are you saying?!" she attempts to use her knee to hit me in the stomach but I take action like the wind. I release my hands off of her and push her so hard, so angrily, that her back launches the door of the fridge with such force. Her body goes limp as it slides down like melting ice but still she holds on the floor with support as if it can help.

"You thought I don't know what you did, ha?!" I am now screaming above her. "You thought I don't know that you were the one who asked Peter to touch me? You thought I don't know?!"

And then suddenly, I hear the people behind us hissing to one another. I barely hear the things they say but I'm not on the mind to pay attention to them. Instead, I go on.

"I saw you talking to him yesterday at the infirmary! I heard you talked. I heard what you two were talking about and it was about me! About what happened the other night!"

I am not choking as I say all of these. My voice is straight and accurate, so as the things that I say. I don't feel like crying also. I am too angry to let tears stream down my cheeks. Too angry that I think I could kill her.

"You don't know what you are saying," Eliza says, "There you are again, Stiff. Saying false pretenses so people will ride on your tracks. How pathetic of y—"

"Well you know what Eliza?" I don't realize that I said that with a smirk. "I think I wouldn't be surprised if you fail Candor's initiation. You know why? Because you're a great hell of a liar! A _pathetic liar!_"

With such speed that nobody could have imagined, Eliza rises from the floor to reach out to either punch or slap me but I surprised everybody by doing it at the first place. Her face contorts when I spank her right ahead that caused her to stumble backwards. In less than a minute, her nose is now blowing with blood. The same color that suits her. The same color that connects her with Eric and Peter. I do not regret. And I am glad that no one comes to pull me away from her. Maybe they're too astonished with what I've did—something that they didn't think I'd do but there I did it.

And I'm not going to run out of this dining hall at any minute. There's nothing to blame on me. He who feels ashamed for himself will step out of here before embarrassment covers the whole room.

With a hand covering her nose, Eliza turns around and run away from us.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Chapter Twenty:**

**Tobias's POV**

When I glanced at my watch this morning, I was too sleepy to be surprised that I'm twenty minutes late from the usual time that I wake up. Swiftly, I went at the bathroom to have shower and jumped on a pair of denim jeans matched with a black shirt that's a little big for me. I closed the door of my apartment from the outside just when I've finished. Now I'm leading the way to the dining hall to grab breakfast. It occurred to me that Eliza didn't even drop by my room (or did she?) so I thought she no longer waited for me to arise when in fact, before, every time I wake up late, she will storm in of my apartment and shake me like a kid just to put me in my senses that it's time to perform routine. Today, she didn't do that. Or should I say that she isn't doing that anymore since the previous days? I didn't notice that that much. Perhaps I've been so focused with the further events happening around that I've forgotten some of the basics. Consider the incident that occurred the other night. Was it really an _incident_? What was I expecting? That it happened that Peter was just strolling around the compound in that kind of time of the night and coincidentally, Tris couldn't find it easy to sleep so she was also walking around in here, waiting to feel sleepy and then suddenly, they bumped to each other and it all began just like that?

How ridiculous, isn't it? There could only be two possibilities of why Peter will do such thing. First is that because he didn't succeed of throwing Tris off the railing on his first try so he thought he can do it again and attain triumph all because ever since, he hated her. Second is that someone might be manipulating him yet it doesn't work at all because the 'someone' that's joining forces with him also has the same aim.

And that aim _is _to harm Tris. Or much worse, to _kill _her.

Who? Eric?

As I try to connect the dots of the possibility, I see someone running with nose covered from the beginning of the hallway. When I take a closer look, I figured out that it's Eliza. She's such in a hurry for a reason that I don't know and at the same time, I don't understand why she is covering her nose.

When she sees me standing by the corridor between the dormitories, I'm surprised that she stops. I am expecting that she will just continue running as if I'm just a display in here but now she stands before me, her hand still on the covering business.

"What happened?" is the first thing that I could say. "Why are you covering your nose like that?"

For a moment she just stands there, saying nothing. She doesn't even moan or anything but just keep on her feet like a statue. I try to step closer to examine what's the matter with her but she stumble a fraction backwards like she's scared to be touched. How could she be this stranger?

"Eliza, why are you—"

I'm on the decision to better ask her for details of why does she covers her nose but I stop on my mid-sentence when I cast a series of blood between her fingers.

"Blood?" I ask stubbornly, "You've been to a fight?"

Finally, she no longer makes it difficult to communicate. She rubs her nose with the back of her hand like a child rubbing off dirt after playing the whole afternoon. She does that instantly so I don't have to pay much attention to what I've seen but still, I question her about it.

"Where did you get that?"

Now, I've realized, I am talking to her as if she's an initiate instead of my girlfriend.

"_She _did this to me."

I sense the sharpness on the way she said, "she" that made me think of who's that 'she' she's referring to.

"Who?"

She snorts in laughter, "Who else? No other than your former initiate. Yes you heard it right. She did this to me."

And then in a sudden, like a race car urging to get first to the finish line, she switches emotion. From acting so irritated, she becomes soft spoken, frowning as she steps closer to me. Just lately she sounds as though she is firm but now she sounds like a weak person, as though she might cry. I don't think I've seen her like this before.

"I don't understand why she is so mad at me!"

Now Eliza seems like a five-year-old kid throwing tantrums.

"I'm not even doing _anything_ to her!"

And then she wraps her hands around my waist and buries her face on my chest. I hear her as she begins crying but I'm not sure if those are original hiccups of tears.

"She always seems to hate me, you know! Why, ha?! Because I attacked her at the Chasm last week? That's over, right? I've already tried to be calm so I won't end up attacking her again and now that I'm succeeding, she will strike me in the face?!"

I notice that since Eliza hauls me for an embrace, I didn't take effort to wrap my arms around her. Instead, they stay on my sides. But soon, she might complain about it and might even start arguing about it so I just give it a try.

"Why would she do that?" I try to sound casual, "Punch you, I mean."

"I don't know with her! Maybe she really just hates me and she wanted revenge. But this is too much! She has no good reason for doing this to me! And you know what? I was embarrassed from the people watching there at the dining hall! She put such blame on me that the only option that I have was to run, run and run!"

As we remain on the embrace, I've come to figure out that I don't know what to say at all. Should I say, _Calm down. We'd fix this up. _Or should I better say, _No worries, okay? I'll be at your back. _Because all of these are just so weird. Just the other night, it was Tris who's crying. It was her who's acting the same as Eliza. It was her who's gathered in my arms. And now, it's Eliza, complaining that Tris smacked her while I can't imagine Tris doing that without a decisive reason.

There must be a reason why she did that and why Peter did the possible-impossible.

I need to find them out.

Xxxx

**Eliza's POV**

That night, I forced Tobias that I want to sleep with him. I had this basis that that Stiff might attack me again. He thought it was a silly idea but I just covered it with my childish act. I said, "Please? Let me sleep here with you." With a sleepy tone to add effect and when I detect that he has no more choice but to approve for I won't take 'no' as an answer, he just said, "Okay," as though he's not very pleased. But I just ignore it. Soon, this charade of mine will worth it. And I guess I just have to wait in less than forty eight hours.

It is now eleven midnight when I check on Tobias's watch settled on top of the bedside table. He's deep down in a sleep already which is good so I don't have to put so much effort in making an upset expression for him to be more convinced with my sham. I just lie there beside him with an arm curled around his waist while his back is on me. All I need to do now is to shut my eyes and hope I could sleep soon. I've acted well today. I've made him believe.

However, I'm not sleeping in ten minutes yet when I hear a knock on the door. At first I thought it was only an imagination because you'd barely hear it if the room is crowded and noisy but since it's midnight and we're off to sleep, the room is in tranquil and the knock is sure to be heard.

I am too lazy to drag myself off of bed. Furthermore, I don't have a clue of who that might be especially in this time. I suspect that's Eric—possible—knocking to ask Tobias's help in the control room. But as the knocks go three more times, I'm forced to carefully rise from my position so Tobias won't be disturbed.

I'm peeking over my shoulder as I reach for the door to see if Tobias will wake up. Who knows who and who knows what? In just a blink of an eye, all of my plans might break.

Eventually, when I twist the door handle open, I see a tousled hair owned by a man-figure being shaped by the faint light from the hallways. I have a blurry vision from being inside a room with a light switched-off and from rising in bed in an instant so I have to rub my eyes twice to get a clearer picture of the person standing before me. When I've blinked my eyes after rubbing, I finally realize who this is.

"Miss me?"

Even in the dark, I can sense that Peter is smirking just by the sound of his voice. I didn't know that he's already logged-off of the infirmary and I don't know when.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss, "And how did you know that I'm staying here?"

Suddenly, I get the nerves of panicky. Once again, I peek over my shoulder to see Tobias. His back is still on me and I can hear his sleeping breaths. Pretty sure, he's still asleep. But then, I need to be cautious. He can wake up at any minute and catch me talking to Peter. The suspicion will begin, then. That is—if I don't arrive in a point of having an excuse that makes sense. You know that I couldn't reason out, "Oh we're just talking. You know… not yet sleep so yeah… talk until giddiness wears on me." Or, "Peter went to the wrong room. It's nothing. Let's go back to sleep."

"Why so jumpy?" Peter asks with a laugh that could wake Tobias up, as I step out of the room and closes the door behind me.

"Shhh," I say with a finger on my lips. "Lower your voice,"

I wish I could say that louder to him so he'd take it seriously but I know that if I do that, both of us will be screwed.

"Easy, okay, easy," he says, "I just came to ask for my reward. I'm sure you haven't forgotten about that. The deal, remember? I'd get something in return once I've done what you wanted."

I fly my arms against my chest. "So you came knocking in the door with the possibility that my boyfriend might be bothered just because of the reward that could wait? What do you expect? I thought you might be flabbergasted if he's the one who opened up the door for you."

He escapes a laugh. "What did you say, Eliza? A reward that could… _wait_? Did I hear you correctly? I've accomplished my task two days ago that I even risked my life for it, for that award that you promised then you'd tell me it could wait? Well what if I tell you I cannot wait and that in anytime I want, I could go straight ahead to Tris, or to Uriah, or much better, to Four, to confess that you were the one who commanded me to do _that_? Ha?"

"Watch your words, Peter," I utter bitterly although I need to keep my voice low. "And don't you threat me that way. I've said my vow and I'm not going to break it. Will you just please wait? Is that too much to ask? I will give you more than you expect me to offer, got that? So don't be very impatient and stop nagging at me."

"Fine, fine," he waves his hands on air, "You just have to keep your word and I'll keep my mouth shut. If you break your vow, you know what I'll do. Don't be surprised if a box of hate gets thrown on you in one of these days. You'd figure out that that is because I spread your secret."

I roll my eyes. "Hate's been thrown to me already, I guess."

"Oh," he lifts his eyebrows. "That's not very surprising."

I scowl at him and he chuckles.

"I suppose I know what you mean. The dining hall scene, isn't it?"

My mouth falls open. "_You knew_?"

"As though the nurses at the infirmary don't like talking. While they were on business, I can hear them conversing about the happenings here in the compound. I heard Tris punched you. On what part?"

He tilts his head on me as if he's looking for a scar but I know that he's just ragging on me so I punch his arm—the arm that aches, I'm certain—and he says, "Ow!"

"Never thought it could spread as fast as you are out of the infirmary."

"Dauntless nurses know how to do their job, let's say. But for the most part, I liked to handle myself. Now let's go back to the main subject. Tris punched you. I bet it's been a show at the dining hall."

"As a matter of fact, I was the one who's about to do it. But she did it at the first place before I could, making my nose bleed. And then…" I realize I couldn't continue the story. I'm too pissed that I don't want to flashback to this morning. I don't want to recall anything from it. Soon, she will pay. Again.

"Never mind," I roll my eyes for the second time since he came, "I'm not even done yet. She thought I'll just let it pass? Eliza Caldwell doesn't do that."

"_What?" _Peter says in disbelief and I realized I just said my last name. "Caldwell is your… your—"

"Uh you know what Peter? Twelve o'clock is coming near and I think I am now sleepy." I let out a fake yawn, assuming he'd be convinced. "Besides, Four might realize that I'm not beside him on bed. You know… he might doubt. He might find us here. You know the result. So…" I begin turning around from him, biting my lower lip. I'm just about to twist the doorknob open to enter when he grasps my arm. I pull it away.

"I think I'm starting to form your puzzle," he says. "You have a secret."

I escape a laugh to somehow mask the tense in my expression. He couldn't know. Not now. Not yet.

"Everybody has a secret, Peter."

"Sure," he says, "But yours is unthinkable. If you didn't say your last name, I'd probably think otherwise. But—"

"I'm going back to bed now."

And finally, I've opened the door. Tobias's still not facing me. For the last time before crawling back to bed, I cast Peter a casual look and he smiles evilly at me as though he's so sure of what he's found out.

"Til next time, Eliza _Caldwell._"

I slowly close the door before him so he won't be able to catch any knowing expression on my face. I was stupid. I shouldn't have let it slip from my tongue. That secret is only mine and I planned that no one will know about it until forty eight hours. But now that Peter's found out about it (or if that's only my idea), I need to take action fast.

After all, there's no turning back.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

**Chapter Twenty One: I KNEW**

**Tris' POV**

The scene between me and Eliza the other day at the dining hall remains fresh until today. Everybody has heard what I told Eliza and they began to hissed at one another. My friends also inquired me about the fact that I've caught Peter and Eliza talking about me at the infirmary. I told them that I was certain that I was their subject and that Eliza was the one who commanded Peter to do what he did. When I've explained to them the things that I've heard, they've developed more fury with the two.

"You know what, Tris? I think they should be kicked out of here. Most especially Four's girlfriend, that Eliza! What the hell is her problem?" Christina says with arms crossed and furrowed brows.

"Aren't she convinced enough that Tris and Uriah are together?" Will asks. "I mean… they were doing their charade well. They're acting like an actual couple. What else is she thinking?"

"You know what," Marlene inserts. "I'm starting to suspect that she has a further reason for acting that way. Just flashback to yesterday, guys. It seemed like she wasn't only contradicting Tris. She was also making her friends as her target. I don't know if you agree with me but well… if I am wrong, then she must be having a brain problem."

Zeke taps his foot and stares up the ceiling for a moment, thinking of what to say.

"If Marlene is right… then we have to know what are her other objectives. It's better to be aware although you're being a meddler."

"And of course there's only one person who possibly knows what those objectives are." Lynn says. "Tris has just said it yesterday."

Shauna rolls her eyes. "Peter, who else."

"So what's the plan? We'd attack Peter and force him to tell us about what Eliza told him?" Uriah inquires. "As though he'd do that."

"Tris," Zeke says to me. I twirl my head on his direction. "You've given Eliza what she deserved yesterday. This time allow one of us to take the part with Peter."

"Oh," Lynn waves a hand. "And who would that be? I don't think he'd easily give in and share some details."

"I'll do it." Zeke volunteers. "I'm not scared of that pansycake."

"How will you do it?" I ask him.

"It's up to me. If he's too hard and trying to hide the truth, maybe I'd like to take him back to the infirmary with a broken leg. What do you guys think?"

We all exchange a look in unison, entrusting the calling to Zeke. I also wanted to be there to hear the words from Peter himself. I wanted to insist Zeke that I would come with him but he confirmed that we can just leave it to him. After all, he's a clever person.

"That would be terrific."

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

I just finished a having a shower when I caught Eliza being in a hurry after dragging out of bed. When she saw me looking at her with wonder, she tried to slip away the hustle and act normal.

"What's the matter?" I ask. "You seem like you've just seen a ghost."

"Oh," she says.

I shift my eyes down to her hands which are planted on her hips nervously. She is acting strange again. I haven't forgotten how odd she was yesterday. Until now I am still in doubt that she is just typical. Eliza wouldn't be like this without any reason. I guess she is just trying to hide that reason but I'd figure that out soon.

"Nothing. Uh… maybe I'm not just used in sleeping here. I thought I'm on my own apartment."

Well… that makes a little sense. Yet, I am not convinced. I catch her biting her lower lip as if she has almost spilled something she doesn't wish to say.

I amble toward my drawer to instantly put myself on a shirt. I was only wearing a pair of jeans when I walked out of the bathroom since I thought Eliza was still sleeping. As I was wearing my shirt, she rushes to the small kitchen of my apartment and washes her face on the sink. After that, she goes inside the bathroom like somebody will open the door before she could. Weird.

I get the pair of sneakers beneath my bed. When I take a seat at the comfy sheets to wear them on, Eliza suddenly flies the bathroom door open that made me sort of startled. I flash her look of disbelief when I see that her hair is misty and so as her clothes. It's as though she just took a quick shower. It's as though she's really in a hurry to go somewhere. Finally, when I cannot stand her anymore, when I'm dying to know what the hell is going on with her, I rise from the bed before I could begin tying my shoes and tell her,

"You are hiding something."

That wasn't a question. It was a straight forward sentence saying I am assured that she does actually hides something.

She glances at me. "What made you think that?"

"I do not _think_ that. I _believe_."

She escapes a frantic laugh. "You're going nuts, Tobias. So you're thinking I'm going insane just because I'm—"

"Yes," I say. "I think you're insane."

She combs her dumpy hair using her fingers as she turns to face me completely. "You just don't know me so well, Tobias."

And right after she said that, she picks up the bag that she's brought last night and reaches for the door. She doesn't even turn to look back at me. Now that's stranger. I have to follow her. She wouldn't be that edgy if she isn't going somewhere and yes I do suppose that the place she's going at isn't just here in the Dauntless compound. I'm having a conclusion that she's be going to the trains.

In order not to be so obvious that I would track her, I waited for a few seconds before I could be certain that she has gone outside my apartment and won't have a chance to catch me. I tied my shoes with speed before she could go farther. When I'm done, I carefully open the door and observe the hallways. There I find Eliza walking by the end, on the way to the Pit. With caution and ploy, I trace her steps and glue my back against a wall every time I sense her checking her back. I peek by the edge of the wall to inspect if she is still there and if she's watching her surroundings. When she's gone my sight, I prolong to follow her.

I am almost near the Pit. _Almost. _I could finally catch her on act with whatever that she's planning to do. I am already expecting that she's climbing up the stairs onto the Pire to head straight away to the trains because that is my guess. But when I emerge from the last wall on the end of the hallways, my mouth falls open. I twirl my head from left to right and reverse, assuming that she hasn't left yet. However, within the minute that I observed around, I realize that there's no more sign of her in here. She's gone. Stupid. I should have made it on time.

Nonetheless of the fact that I haven't reached her, I don't plan of going back to my apartment. Instead, I have the idea of climbing up the Pire and ride on the trains. Who knows maybe that is exactly where she went? I don't care if I might be wrong but I have a strong feeling that I might also be correct. Nothing will lose if I try. Furthermore, I really am feeling the need to know what is this all about and why things did happen their way previously.

En route to the Pire a few moments later, I hear bickering of voices. This is it again. I don't think the Dauntless compound had a day without quarrels. There is always something going on in here. Considering those voices, too. What on earth is this case again?

"So she was correct, ha? That you were asked to do the bullshit that you did to her and you followed the command!"

I know that voice. That person has talked to me a couple of times before. I've memorized it so well. I walk more closer to find where the wrangling is.

"Yes I did!" the other voice says. This one's familiar too. But with this, I narrow my eyes as if I hated that person. "And I do admit that she was the one who commanded me. Why would I deny if Tris has already told you that she caught as talking? I'm not stupid."

_Tris? What does she has to do with this?_

"And why did she ask you to do that to Tris? What the hell is her problem?"

Eventually, I have arrived to where the sounds are coming from. I was right for my reference of to whom those voices do belong to. Peter is pinned against the wall while Zeke stands before him, scowling. I knew that is their position because Zeke could have an aim to smack Peter before he could escape.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't know? I am not her secret keeper. She didn't tell me all of her scheme. So I have no idea about the rest. Happy?"

Before Zeke could response, I enter the scene and speak.

"What's going on here?"

Both of them whirls their heads on me. Peter has a hint of anxiety on his face while Zeke seems as though he cannot wait to grab the hem of Peter's shirt and spank his skull on the stoned wall.

"Four," Zeke says. My eyes move downwards and I find his hand on a fist. "I suppose you don't know yet."

I press my arms against my chest. "Tell me, then."

Zeke glares at Peter then turns to look back at me. "If you have heard about Tris and Eliza's encounter at the dining hall yesterday, I'd let you know that it was because Tris has found out who ordered Peter to throw shit on her."

And with what, I knew I don't have to wait for Zeke to continue his sentence. I've already formed the pattern in my head. I guess I've done so since the last few days but I was just waiting to find a better way of revealing it for confirmation. But now I know that I am right. Now I know what makes Eliza so strange.

"_Eliza_," Zeke tells me. "Your girlfriend."

When it came from Zeke himself already, I quickly shift my eyes to Peter. Lately he was appearing like he has something to boast with Zeke, like he can manage to bring him down the ground. But when it was me who scowls at him after finding out that he's allied with Eliza, I saw the same facial expression that he had when I pointed a gun at him during initiation. I saw the hint of fear on his image. He swallows hard and slowly releases his back on the wall, thinking of running away from me. The last time we have encountered, I haven't hit him enough. That time I had to stop because his eyes were already bulging. But right now… he's awake.

"She just requested for me to—"he tries to explain but the next thing he knows, I am already clutching the hem of his shirt between my fingers and my head's inclined on him. "She said she wanted Tris to be—"

"To be what?!"

"S-she wanted Tris to writhe. S-she… she said she isn't done with her revenge yet and—"

"And what? What else?! She's acting different to convince me that none of these is her fault? That she's trying to control herself? Is that why?!"

"I-I don't—"

"You do know!"

"Y-yes! Yes! She w-wanted to make you believe that Tris is just making her own reasons so people would ride her tracks—so _you _would stay away from her. T-that's what I know."

I wanted to hit Peter's face again. I wanted to beat the hell out of him. But when I saw how frightened he was, I thought maybe that's enough for now. He's still got wounds. And I am not sadistic as Eric to play addition with his face. To his surprise, I release my hold off of him and he gulps for air.

"Don't you dare again, Peter." I say with a finger pointed on his injured feature. "Don't you dare to put your hands on Tris, _ever_, again."

**A/N: Tadaaaaa! Where do you think Eliza go? What do you think her secret is? I'd be glad to know what your guesses are since her secret won't take so much time to be revealed. Soon, you'd all find out what that is!**

**Moving on… I'd like to thank **_**tamani7, reibread, jealoustobias, Pansycake, , AV, Nia Pietrovski, legend254254 and kassoug4 **_**for reviewing! I really do appreciate your comments and suggestions for the story! : ) Also, thank you to **_**TobiasLover4ever **_**for reviewing in every chapter. Your comments are both funny and encouraging so thanks a lot! : )**

**And GUYS, if anyone of you have read Delirium and is a fan of that terrific book, my friend **_**MagdeLenaJones **_**is writing a fan fiction regarding about Lena, Alex, and Julianne! Her story is titled "Choosing Between Two (A Delirium Story)" go check it out! Also, you would love talking to her about Delirium and DIVERGENT because she's a fan of those two amazing books! : )**

**Til next time! And oh! 2013 is cominggggg! ;)**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Chapter Twenty Two: The Secret**

**Eliza's POV**

I catch my breath as I landed on my feet when I threw myself on the trains. I take a glance at the Dauntless compound to see if anybody has followed me. _If Tobias has followed me_. No he hasn't. Maybe he didn't have the chance. I felt his presence behind me when I was on my way to the Pit earlier so I thought of a technique to get rid off of him. Fortunately I've made it onto the Pire before he could do anything to stop me. I knew he was about to do that. I knew he was having a suspicion already. I've known Tobias for being a clever person; someone who get and know things his way. Therefore, if he does wanted to know what is it that I am hiding from him, he'd rather follow me than ask me. Because even if he asks me a hundred of times of what my secret is, I won't tell him at all.

Fifteen minutes have passed since I'm riding on the train. I lean on the wall as I wait to see a sign that I'm coming near to the Erudite headquarters. I haven't been there for a couple of months. In fact, I can't remember anymore when was the last time I dropped by to visit. My old faction. Erudite. I wonder how things go there now. I wonder what has changed since I left.

I release my back from the wall after a couple of moments of watching the trees outside the train fade in my sight one by one. When I turn to check if I'm about to arrive to my destination, I eventually find the headquarters of my former faction. A mixture of emotions runs through my nerves when I've seen it once again after what seemed like a lifetime. I can't tell what I am feeling but there's a fast beating being done by my heart and an urge to move by my feet. I want to get there already. I want to see the insides of it again.

The wind prickles my cheeks when I standby the door of the train. On my mind I am making a countdown of three as my guide on when will I throw myself out of the train before it excels. "Three," I mutter. "Two," I take a deep breath. "One," Finally, with force, I jump out with assurance that I will land on my feet. The train continues to drive behind me when I crouched on the surface, hands on both sides. I didn't know that I can still do this stuff. The jumping out of trains. I rarely leave the Dauntless compound before. I only do that when I find a chance, when I am certain that nobody will suspect about where I am going. But now that things have turned over and a lot have changed, I don't care anymore if anyone will wonder about my character or where do I go. Here in Erudite, I've formed who I am.

Instantly, I push the doors open. The moment I step in, I feel nostalgic. There'd been a couple of memories in here. I think it's silly of me but I missed the nature here in Erudite. The people wearing eyeglasses, reading books and newspapers, and their conversations which are, of course, Erudite-sound: technologies, cultures, histories… anything else that is related to those.

"Iris, is that you?"

I am too busy of switching my gaze from person to person, door to door, and from everything that catches my attention that I don't have the senses to pay heed to whoever that called me by my _real _name. Suddenly, I see a hand waving in my sight. That is the instant when I finally claim my mind to meet that person.

"Caleb?" I stubbornly inquire. Of course it's Caleb, why do I still ask? "It's been so long."

He smiles a little. "I know, I know. The last time you visited here was, if I'm not mistaken… four or five months ago?"

"I don't know either. But I don't think it does matter. The good thing is that I had time to come again."

I first met Caleb about two weeks after the Choosing Ceremony. I found a way to leave the Dauntless compound for a while to drop by in Erudite headquarters. I just wanted to meet a little of the transfers and it happened that Caleb was one of them. He was a good guy. I've realized that as I continued to visit a few more days after. Luckily, I am not being prohibited from visiting my old faction. Perhaps it was because they knew that although I transferred to Dauntless, I didn't have any dire intention. I think they've figured out that there's still an Erudite part of me; the Erudite part that I've hidden during the years that I am Dauntless when I was trying to achieve the prospect of bravery.

"So how are you?" Caleb asks with hands on his pockets as he tour me around. "How was Dauntless?"

Caleb speaks with an intelligent sound that makes me feel a little anxious since I have lost _that _sound already since I became an adrenaline junkie. Yet still, I try to talk like an Erudite.

"I don't think 'good' is the appropriate word to describe Dauntless. You know my faction. You know how Dauntless is, I mean. There's loud music most of the time and people moving around as though they have a paper glued on their foreheads that says, "_freedom_". The Dauntless is free; always doing something; always having something."

"Exactly how I imagine the life in there." He says. "Anyway, would you mind if I ask you something that is… uh… well… something that is kind of related to my old faction, Abnegation?"

Suddenly, my expression goes bored.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well… I think I haven't told you before, during the previous months that… I have a sister in there. In Dauntless."

I part my lips expecting I'd end up uttering a thing but no words come out. Yes, I am not aware that Caleb does have a sister in Dauntless. And who am I expecting to turn out as blood-related to him? Shauna, that rug-looking girl? Tori, my co-worker at the tattoo parlor? Christina, the smart-mouth Candor? None of them look like Caleb.

"Do you know someone named Beatrice?"

As we continue walking, I stare up the ceiling, thinking if the name is familiar. _Beatrice? I don't think there's a Dauntless member named Beatrice._

"Beatrice…" I mutter, "Beatrice…"

Caleb just locks his eyes on me, waiting for me to response. And then all of a sudden as I strive to get an image of a person with a name, Beatrice, I almost smack my head on the wall that we pass by. The insane realization hits me like bombshell that for once, I thought I might shut my eyes and run away from Caleb.

_Beatrice…_

_Beatrice…_

_Tris._

_**Tris.**_

Why didn't I consider that before?

"Iris?" Caleb waves his hand on my sight again. I blink a lot of times and shake my head. "Are you alright?"

And then, just like that, like a scared little girl, I turn to face Caleb who has a face of concern.

"You mean… Tris?" I almost choke on the mention of her name since I never call her with that. I use the nickname, "Stiff" rather than her real name. "Tris… Prior?"

Caleb looks at me with bewilderment. "Oh. I didn't know that she changed her name since then."

"Well… that's how things go in Dauntless. When you transfer, you can have another name for yourself that would sound like brave. I chose the name Eliza to hide myself as Iris. I wasn't sure if Eliza's a daring name two years ago. I thought it was stupid. Iris is a lot better, I realized."

And I don't know how Caleb will react if he finds out that all this time, I'm playing bullshit with his sister. I shake my head again on that thought.

"So… how is she? Tris, I mean. We haven't talked for a long time now."

I swallow hard as I think of an answer. What should I say anyway? That, _Oh you know what Caleb? I hate your sister. I attacked her once on the Chasm that I could almost throw her off of the railing. And by the way, I commanded someone just recently to rape her. I thought it went off great. Your sister has been frightened. Ha-ha! _Just imagine how awkward it will be. Also, Caleb will hate me. I've received so much hate from the Dauntless compound already. I'm done with it.

"Uh… as a matter of fact, we don't talk much. We are not… friends. So… um… I'm sorry but I don't think I could give you the details about her that you want to hear."

"Is that so?" he shrugs. "I'm even worried about her. There were days when I'm thinking about how she does, if she's just okay or what. Hopefully she'd come here and visit."

"Yeah… I hope she will."

Eventually, Caleb has decided to close the subject about her sister and I'm relieved that he does it. I don't think I could bear to lie more about her if the conversation regarding her prolongs. Caleb immediately switches the topic about my purpose of going here.

"What brought you here, by the way?"

Thankfully, I've managed to sound normal again.

"I guess I just miss this place. I wanted to feel the Erudite environment, you know. Been tired of hearing pistols at Dauntless. For a while I want serenity."

Caleb chuckles. "You came at the wrong place, then. This is not Amity."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever."

"But aside from that… what else is your purpose of going here? I think you do wish to talk to someone?"

I moisten my lips, remembering that I do have another reason of coming here aside from the longing of feeling like an Erudite again. Caleb is right. I also came here to talk to someone.

"I want to talk to my sister. Is she here?"

"Sure she is."

"Where is she, then?"

"Um… I think she's at her office. That's what I know. But you could go and see for yourself in case I am wrong."

"I see," then as I stop walking, I find myself in front of an elevator. Caleb stops too. I try to show a casual face. I shouldn't let him see any hint that I know his sister or anything else about her. There might be a possibility that he'd ask me again about her.

"I'll just meet her myself. I can handle it now. Thanks for the company, Caleb."

"Sure," he utters with a small smile. "It was nice to see you again."

I watch Caleb as he fades from my vision. When I'm assured enough that he won't turn back, I go and look for my sister's office.

It takes me about five minutes before I could find where she is. It's been a long time since I went here so I had a game with myself of where is her office located. But fortunately, I don't have to look farther. When I flashed back to the last time that I went to her office, I remembered where I was when I twirled the knob. I was standing beside a plant on a pot on my lower left. Now I see the same plant again and I knew I came to the right place.

I knock twice on the first try.

"I'm busy right now. Come back later."

I release a hard breath and responses, "This _is _Iris."

There is a brief pause before she answers again. Perhaps she didn't expect I'd come today. Or maybe she isn't expecting me to come at all.

"Come in,"

I shut my eyes before twisting the door handle open. It creaks a little when it broadens that for a moment I thought it irritated my sister. But when I have stepped in of the room and have closed the door behind me, I realize that her face expresses nothing but a hint of surprise. Right. She didn't expect me to come.

And believe me when I say, too, that I didn't expect I'd be standing before her at this second.

My sister.

We haven't seen each other for a long time.

_Jeanine_.

**A/N: There goes another cliffhanger! ;) I decided not to put all the details at once in this chapter so you won't get too confuse. If you're still wondering why Eliza's real name is Iris Caldwell while her sister is Jeanine Matthews, you'd find that out on the next chapter. And oh, BY THE WAY, IRIS is Eliza's real name! That's my pen name! Hahaha… I just thought it would be a cool idea. ;)**

**P.S.:**

**Happy New Year to all of you! I'm hoping your 2013 will be filled with joy and memories. Let's make the most out of this year! The 3****rd**** book on the Divergent series is also coming out this 2013! Who's excited?! I AM!**

**Til next time! : D**

**(I really suck on writing author's notes so bear with me, haha : D) **

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

**Chapter Twenty Three: No longer the same**

**Eliza's POV**

I stare at Jeanine for about a couple of seconds before doing something else such as taking a seat across from her or parting my lips to speak. Seeing her again is like food you don't want to swallow but knowing that she's my sister makes me feel as though I'm really a 'know-it-all' person. Maybe, just maybe, after all, the only thing that binds us as siblings is her reputation.

"Have a seat." She finally says.

Just like what I thought of doing, I take the seat opposed to her. I could see by the way she settles her arms on the table that she really is keeping the outlook of an intelligent person. The way her glasses hold themselves on the bridge of her nose makes her seem as if she has the knowledge about everything and I suddenly remember the previous years when that was my first impression about her.

"So, Iris… or, if you go on with the name Eliza, I'd just call you—"

"_Iris._" I finish for her. "Call me Iris since that name holds who I really was."

She smirks. "If you insist. Iris, then."

"If you think I went here to tell you that I am _very _thankful to have you as my sister, you are wrong. I came here to remind you that I've been doing my part in Dauntless the way you wanted me to."

She raises a brow on me as she slides a folder of papers above the table. This is, I think, an act of hers that states the obvious that she is not enthusiastic of what I'm going to say. She opens up the folder and begins reading the papers. Perhaps she's making me feel like I'm just a ghost in here.

"You said you want me to examine the Dauntless's actions. You wanted me to study what are their strengths and what makes them weak. You wanted me to give you information about the most possible way of both controlling and destroying them and you wanted to know all of it because you _are _craving for power. You thought Dauntless will be the best target to take a chance with since you do believe that bravery and intelligence, when combined, are two dominant things."

She snorts as she keeps her focus on the papers. "I'm amazed you still remember that. That was so four years ago, Iris."

"I don't forget such things, Jeanine. And I think I must let you know that I've come so far to attain your own objective."

"So it means to say that you had to steal the heart of that guy who only has four fears that is now a Dauntless instructor to attain _that _objective?"

Jeanine says that while looking back at me again. I can tell that she is emphasizing something in here.

"Yes, I did." I utter. "And we've been together for two years now."

"And you're on the process of studying the Dauntless's whereabouts for two years now, so to speak."

"Yes. I've known so much already than you do."

Eventually, Jeanine closes the folder and takes it back from where she got it. In a fast switch of events, she rises from her chair with a sigh and begins walking around her office. I remain on my seat as she says, "Tell me about them, then."

Surprising her, I laugh hysterically.

"So you think I'd tell you right away? I have formed my own pattern apart from yours, Jeanine. I've left your terms and went under mine. If you do have your scheme about having control over the factions, most especially with Dauntless, then I have mine too. I earned all the information that you needed all by myself. And I am no longer the fifteen-year-old girl that you _forced _to transfer in Dauntless, to share all the details I have with you. I guess you should find them out yourself."

When I'm done, I fall under the flashbacks from four years ago. I used to be the fifteen-year-old girl who's drowned with books and newspapers. My viewpoint was so different from how I look today. I was Iris Caldwell, the daughter of Amanda and David Caldwell, two of the well qualified Erudite members. We used to be content with what we are and with our possessions until one day changed everything. I would never forget how it all happened.

"In my conclusion Iris, you are doing this because you want to prove to me that you aren't like your father. Am I right?"

I shut my eyes when my father was mentioned. Jeanine really does know where to shoot me.

My dad, David Caldwell, was a very smart person. He's been one of Jeanine's instruments for making a new set of technology regarding our faction. I idolized him a lot during those past four years because he was keenly educated in both science and culture. He was a huge help in the Erudite faction since he does have the knowledge to lead the technology formation and Jeanine, along with the other Erudite members, believed that everything he does is accurate; that he wouldn't commit any mistake. Likewise, I presume my father has been too sure of himself. He felt so essential to Erudite. He thought his knowledge wasn't enough so he yearned to know more and more and more until in one blink of an eye, because he was assuming that he's a big 'know-it-all' person, he's made a linctus for the Erudite that he guaranteed as an advantage but the opposite occurred. After a few days, there were some Erudite members who became sick and half of them _almost _died. There were lucky people who have been prevented from the linctus that my dad has created but there were also a few who haven't made it. Some of them, from that day on, became angry with my father. They thought he did it on purpose and that he had a bad intention for our faction. But for me, I think it was just because my father liked the feeling of being vital to the Erudite. He liked the feeling of having expectations from the members and from Jeanine. So when the hate on him grew to expansion, he couldn't take it anymore. He was blaming himself a lot. My mother hoped she can do something to ease him down but my father has reached he decision of leaving the Erudite and being factionless instead. And because my mom cannot live without him, she's joined him with dismissing from Erudite headquarters. I told her I wanted to go with them and that I didn't care if we'd live a miserable life but she told me that I could be something _more _and that nothing good will happen to me if I become factionless.

"_You are nothing to blame for the incident." _She told me. _"You don't have to leave with us. Stay here and be who you want to be."_

"Maybe you have forgotten everything that I did for you, Iris." Jeanine speaks again. This time, with arms crossed against her chest. "Maybe you've forgotten that I transformed you for the better. From being a _coward_, you became a person who's left her comfort zone. I think you should thank me."

I almost laugh. Thank her? Thank her for what?

Well yes, maybe she's been _somewhat _nice for adopting me. When my parents left Erudite, Jeanine vowed to me that my life doesn't end there. She told me she'd transform me. She told me that she'd help me to be the "something more" that my mom wanted me to be. And because she had a way with words, I believed her. She's taught me more things about what an Erudite should learn about and that was her manner of earning my trust. She assumed that I needed her for support so she played the role very well. _She has become my sister and I was looking up to her as a good example. _

"_I'm doing this to you because your dad has been a big contribution to our faction. And although he has failed for the last time, that doesn't change the fact that I can see your potential." _Then again, I believed her. She has earned my trust. I turned sixteen and I was still seeing her as my sister, as the person who's adopted me for the good. Choosing Day was few days away when she asked me to which faction I will transfer. I thought we're not allowed to reveal it until Choosing Day comes but she said I could trust her. I told her that I want to stay here in Erudite because this is where I was raised and this is the place—the only place—where I have been with my parents. However, because I felt like I owe her a big time for teaching me a lot of things that I didn't know before, she forced me to join Dauntless instead. She was right that I am a coward that time because I hesitated to transfer in there. I was scared. My voice cracked when I admitted that I don't want to be Dauntless. But of course, she found a technique again to please me.

"_When you transfer to Dauntless, you'd no longer be this kind of Iris who's afraid of everything. You'd become brave. You want that, right? And when you transfer in there, you can fulfill a mission for the benefit of our faction and for your parents." _She said. In addition, she pledged to me that if I find out the pages behind the Dauntless covers and if I give her the details about them, she could a find a way to take control of everything step by step. _"My plan has a good aim; this won't put you anywhere otherwise. When I finally have the control, all the factions will improve, even the factionless area. The city will be a better place. The factionless won't live in poverty anymore. They'd have their own rights. You'd have your parents back. Everything will go back to normal and you'd feel like yourself again." _

That was exactly what I wanted. I wanted everything to go back. My parents. Myself. My home. All of it. I have come to believe that maybe the reason why I lost my parents is because we were bounded by too much logic. Maybe they were right with what they are saying the only place that too smart people live at is their mind and they assume that it is their home when truth is, it is their prison.

But I guess—no, I _believe_—Jeanine has made me see things differently. I figured out that I don't need her help anymore. I have my own way. I'd have the _control _over the city by myself and I'd give my parents the life that they deserve.

I drum my fingers on Jeanine's table and scowl at her. She looks at me with pride. She still believes that I owe her big time. She wants to do something to have me share the details that I found out. But I won't. Like what I said, I have my own way now.

"I'm old enough now to handle things, Jeanine. I said I didn't come here to thank you for anything. I did come here because I'm attaining _my_ own principle that is none of your business."

"Oh, really…" she functions the sarcasm tongue. "And since when did you realize that?"

I tilt my head and smile at her, thinking it would annoy her.

"Few days ago, maybe."

She rolls her eyes. "So honest of you."

Finally, after a couple of minutes of conversing while settling down, I hold onto the arms of my chair and stands up. With hands on my waist, I look at her from head to toe and reverse. This is as though she's not talking to Iris but to Eliza.

"I heard your team will be publishing a newspaper in the next couple of days."

"And you're interested?"

"Sort of. I was thinking maybe I could provide some _interesting _information for your paper. Something I have found out from Dauntless."

Jeanine's expression suddenly lightens up. This is pretty exciting.

"What is that?"

"Well…" I begin wandering around the room, passing by each shelf, each wall. "it's just something about… _Four._"

"Your boyfriend?" her eyes follow each motion I do. "What about him?"

I stop in front of a shelf full of books and papers. Although I am not facing her, her gaze on me prickles at the back of my neck. She does want to know. _She's craving to know._ How fascinating.

Finally, I turn around to face her.

"He has a dark secret that he revealed to me two years ago that nobody else knows."

Jeanine furrows her eyes.

"A dark secret…"

"Yes, a _dark _secret."

She moistens her lips and gives me a knowing look. While I, I imitate her by pressing my arms against my chest too. It's lucky of me that I've earned Tobias's trust but unfortunately for him, his insides will be exposed.

"Four, my boyfriend…" I begin. "Is…"

"Is… is what?"

There is a short moment of silence in the room that becomes earsplitting when none of us says a thing. Soon, I break the spell and hesitate no more.

"Is Marcus Eaton's son."

**A/N: To begin this author's note, I'd like to say that I am very thankful for all of your reviews, which are, of course, always encouraging. I decided to make this kind of twist because I want Eliza to be **_**something more **_**and I want her to be **_**real**_**. I don't want her to be just Tobias's annoying girlfriend and Tris' rival. I thought it'd be a good idea to put more shape in her character and I am not sure if I've paid justice on that but I hope I've explained it all well and that you had understood her more. Her character will take more emphasis on the next following chapters. : )**

**Anyway, let's jump onto the subject about the Divergent film casting. Last night I found out that there's a possibility that Brenton Thwaites might not be Tobias anymore because he'd be playing the role of Nicola Peltz's character's boyfriend on Transformers 4. BUT, I also found out that there's a chance that Jack Reynor might get the part instead since he's been offered for the role at the first place. I am really really hoping that Brenton will be picked as Tobias not just because he has good chemistry with Shailene and he has the looks but of course, it's also because I can see that he has the potential as an actor. **

**So, **_**if ever **_**it happens that he won't get the part, I am wishing that **_**Drew Roy **_**would get the chance to have the role. **

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**Chapter Twenty Four: Where Home Is**

**Tobias's POV**

I turn away from Zeke and Peter before I could find myself giving in temper. As I pace the steps towards nowhere, I can still feel the tension of rage in my body. Part of me wants to go back to where I left Peter and pay his face no mercy but the other part of me knows there's a charge that's more worth of my attention. I must drop by the control room in order to detect the previous events here in the compound. Eric, I'm sure, doesn't turn them off anymore. He's been pretty much busy working there with the cameras turned-on, watching everything, enjoying each happening. I can also sense that he has witnessed what Peter did to Tris. Also, if he was paying heed, he's caught Eliza and Peter conversing on camera. Maybe he doesn't hear them but I suppose he has the common sense to think that they are allying with each other in something.

When I reach the control room, my first expectation was that I'm going to see Eric sitting in front of a monitor, serving himself food while watching what's going on in the compound. Yet, when I observe the room to find any indication of him, there is nothing. Besides, even though he'd be here, I wouldn't even care. My purpose is to find the footage of the previous happenings and Eric is not the person who could prevent me from doing that. I also have the right here in the control room. I am an instructor. Likewise, having Eliza's scheme verified from Peter isn't enough for me. I _need _to see them talking.

I take the seat in front of the usual monitor that Eric uses. He left it open. If I am not mistaken, he was here a couple of minutes ago. He just possibly left to get something or what but it doesn't matter. I open a number of files, knowing that Eric is a badass in organizing things, especially with the computers. He might have saved it to anyone of these or he's put it in anywhere he wants to. As I keep on scrolling down, a random video file catches the corner of my eye. It doesn't have a specific file name, only a group of numbers: _00104113_, but I did see a hint of the Chasm, its railing, and two people who're so small unless I double click the file to see it better. To cut my curiosity, I no longer hesitate to do it so.

The footage buffers for a few seconds before it begins to play. At first, it was just Eliza, leaning at the railing of the Chasm. This is probably the day when she's started acting strange. As the video goes on, I wonder what the hell she was doing there. I thought for once she just wanted to be alone so she chose to visit the Chasm but I saw another person she was talking to and that means to say that she wasn't alone in this video at all.

Finally, as minute passes by, the other person takes shape. Presumably, it's Peter.

They begin talking after then. I don't hear any sounds so therefore I cannot hear what they are discussing about. Moreover, it's not that easy to read their mouths to form any words so I just decided to read their facial expressions. Eliza seemed to be talking with prominence. It seemed as though she was nagging Peter about something while Peter, on the other hand, is laid-back. For a few more minutes, they just talked, until they eventually depart from each other. My first guess is that that was the time when Eliza was already commanding Peter to assault Tris. That was also the day when Eliza was trying to be different, to be the naughty type of girlfriend. She put it all together to trick me and she's been doing all of these shit for almost two weeks, in my estimation.

The next video, _00107113 _was Peter and Eliza _again_. Peter was outside an apartment which happened to be _my _apartment. This was the night when Eliza insisted to sleep with me. It was also the day when I caught her running in the hallways with a hand covering her nose. This was the day when she acted like a kid throwing tantrums, telling me that Tris struck her in the face.

Peter was knocking on the door. After a couple of knocks, the door opened. That was when Eliza came into scene. She made a gesture to Peter, telling him to lower his voice and she was hissing at him as though she was saying, _"What on earth are you doing here?" _They conversed for about five minutes, no words apparent. But like with what I did on the previous one, I am examining the expressions that they do. Peter smirked a lot of times in this footage. Eliza, on the contrary, kept on telling Peter to make no noise. Now I know why. She didn't want me to wake up and catch them talking. She was cautious that I might burst out of the door and argue over things with her again. But now I've found out the truth. And if ever I am correct with my suspicion that she left the compound today to grant the continuation of her revenge, there is no more time to waste for me, then. I shall go and meet Tris.

Soon, the footage came to an end. The last part was when Eliza began acting weird again and goes in of the room to close the door before Peter. The instant I clicked the close menu, someone comes barging in of the room with a pile of folders and a burger in his hands. At first I was surprised but when I lift my head to see who that is, it's _just _Eric.

"Look who's here," he steps closer to the table where I am and settles the folders down there. "Missing the job in here, Four?"

With a bored face, I rise from the chair and plan to leave the room.

"Hey, you're goin' already?" Eric asks as he begins eating his burger. "What's your purpose of going here anyway?"

I've already turned my back to reach for the exit but I thought of providing him an answer first.

"To verify my girlfriend's innocence."

And with that, he laughs. He does because he _knew_. Why ever not if he's been focused with the cameras all week long? And all this time that he knows about everything, he acts as though he is not aware. I've figured out he'd actually do that.

When I find his laugh eerie, I finally leave the room. It's either Eliza has come back already or not yet. But when she does, which I'm sure she would, I'll no longer allow her to escape with her lies.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

After the former dilemmas that happened, I went back on my typical duty in the tattoo parlor. A Dauntless customer with a fuchsia dye at the ends of her hair came to me and asked me to brand her a tattoo of the Dauntless symbol on her left shoulder. This is the tattoo pattern that I've learned from Tori when I began working here and speaking of Tori, she is also busy like me, entertaining her own customer.

Since I attended my shift today, I've noticed that Eliza didn't come. I've always known that on Wednesdays, we have the same shift. But as hours went by, there is no Eliza that showed up in the parlor. If there is a possible reason why, it might be because of our encounter the last time. It's not surprising that she doesn't want to see me.

After a couple of minutes in doing my customer's tattoo, I'm coming near to the last step. Even I am excited to see how my work will turn out to be and if it will actually appear like the exact Dauntless symbol. However, as continue with the process, I hear the entrance door opens and Tori, on the corner of my eye, turns to check if it's a customer.

Only that… it isn't a customer.

"Hey Four," Tori greets. "You're going to get a tattoo?"

Tobias clears his throat before he replies, "No, I came to…"

And then, just like that, I hear his footsteps coming behind me. His presence tickles at my spine as he becomes more apparent in my back. I try to act as though my one and only concentration is on my customer but I figure out that why do I have to act like this if there's nothing peculiar that occurred between me and Tobias previously? Not to mention when I smacked his girlfriend's face. If he came here to ask me why I did that, I don't know if it'll all make some sense.

He cups his hand under my elbow. When he does that, I instantly pause from my task.

"Tris," he says with a hush tone. "We need to talk."

There's a voice at the back of my mind telling me to just ignore him and prolong with what I am doing but at the other part of it, I am being asked to twirl around and face him.

And so I did.

"This is important." He utters.

I figured out that when Tobias wears that sober expression on his face, he really has something significant to say. How many times in my life did he wear that costume? How many times did he tell me something important? After all, everything he says makes somewhat nous to me.

Not giving him a nod of approval or anything, I glance at Tyree, my co-worker who has just finished with his customer. Tyree is a Candor transfer before, having those shrewd eyes in detecting fake people around him, like Christina.

"Can you back me up for a while?"

He first looks at Tobias then to me before smiling and say, "Sure."

Before leaving the parlor with Tobias, I excused myself from my customer first. She gave me a nod that states she doesn't mind and right after that, Tyree came to take my place.

Outside, Tobias releases his hold off of my elbow. I shoot him a questioning look of why does he want us to talk but I don't bother to apply them on words. After a moment that doesn't seem like forever, he gives me the sober gaze again and parts his lips to tell me,

"I already know, Tris."

I discharge a breath of sigh before choosing my words. "I reckoned you'd find out about it. What happened at the dining hall, I mean. But I want you to know and I don't know why I feel the need to tell you that I did that to Eliza for a specific reason."

"Yeah, you don't have to explain it all." He says with a hoarse voice. "I met Peter about several minutes ago while Zeke was interrogating him. I've scared Peter enough to tell me the truth himself."

"What exactly did he say?"

He brings his hands inside the pocket of his jeans. "He's confessed that Eliza is the main figure behind what happened to you the other night. She was the one who ordered Peter to do that. And… I didn't doubt him when he said that. All because I knew it even before; even during the last few days."

I furrow my brows. "You mean?"

"I mean, Eliza has been acting strange. She was doing things around as though she's hiding something and I was right. She's allied with Peter to frighten you up and if Peter didn't tell the truth right away, I guess they'd be putting it all together to make it worse for you."

"I'm also having the sensation that Eliza wants to lay my friends in here. The scene at the dining hall. I did that because she was insulting Uriah and Shauna. I needed to defend them. Anyone who sees the special people in her life being treated that way will really think no twice of standing up for them."

He looks at the ground for a fraction of seconds then looks back at me. He locks his eyes on mine that in that instant, I don't think of looking away.

"That's a reason why I came to talk to you, Tris." He says. "To tell you that you need to be careful. Nonetheless of how brave you are, I want you to be reminded that you also have to take care of yourself."

"I do not forget that in every choice I make."

"Yes you do, Tris." He corrected. "And as much as I want to be the one protecting you, there're times when I try to stop myself. That is because I _believe _that you're strong and I know you'd rise no matter how many times you get pulled down. I keep on pushing the buttons to see how far you'd go and from where you're going to go back. But just a quick advice, Tris. By the end of the day when you've applied your choices to your courses of actions, do not think that you only did that for the people around you or for the things that matter. The choice you've made involves _you_. And you must keep yourself stable anytime because you never know the consequences of the choice that has been created."

For all the things that Tobias has said, I don't think to argue over it is the best response. He says these because he is sensible. He says these because he understands. And maybe, just maybe, he says these because he cares.

Not realizing that he's stepped more closely to me, I look up to him and searches for his eyes. When our gazes meet again, I keep my voice steady to answer,

"Do the same for me then, Tobias."

"Do what?" he asks as if he whispers it.

"Take care of yourself no matter what choices you make."

And as I wait for him to say more, he closes the last distance between us and kisses me in the forehead. After all, I like the warmth of him that he gives to me. It's the gesture that always makes me feel safe; the gesture that somehow walks me back home where my family is. He's brought my home in his heart and I hope I could let him know that.

I wrap my hands around his waist and he responses by pulling me in an embrace. I know he's strong; I can feel it as we hug, and I know that he's earning so much courage for himself as who he has become after the miseries that he got into as a lad. That is the deep component that I see every time I look in his eyes.

With his sturdy arms still around me, I feel his lips against my hair. Just like what he always does, he kisses it. Then, with the most fixed voice that he could manage, he tells me the two words—the only words—that I'm waiting for him to say as an answer.

"I will."

**A/N: I pretty much enjoyed writing this chapter and reading your reactions to what Eliza has planned to do to Tobias. Yeah, I know she's not the character that's most likely to be admired but behind the attitude that she has is also a deep meaning from the previous years of her life. : ) ANYWAY, moving on… upon reading this chapter, I was listening to the song, **_**Nothing **_**by **_**The Script. **_**I don't know if the lyrics suit Four and Tris but I think it works with the scene where Four kisses Tris' forehead and promised her that he'd take care of himself. THE FEELS! : D**

**Til next time,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

**Chapter Twenty Five: Jumbled **

**Eliza's POV**

A few minutes before dark shades fill the city, I decided to get back at the Dauntless headquarters. I've been away from there since this morning and now I bet there're some people—at least—who're wondering why they didn't see me much often today. That possibly includes Tobias who attempted to follow me but didn't succeed. If I could expect something from him when he sees me, it's only his raising of questions about where I have been. It's always been that way between us anyway. But I have already done what I was intending to do to him. I encountered the newspaper staff of the Erudite and told them that I have some news to share which they might got interested in. It's just that they weren't only interested. They were, in fact, surprised that Four, the Dauntless instructor is Marcus Eaton's son.

I climb down the Pire once I arrived in the compound. I instantly hear voice of conversations and laughter—the usual things in here. Assuming that nobody even bothered about my absence, I amble towards the hallways. It is quiet in there; probably because the people are on work right now or having dinner at the dining hall. As I release a hard breath on the pathway, a sudden voice hugs me from behind as though saying my name with import.

"Where've you been?"

When I turn around, I see Tobias emerging from the other hallway, his features robust and fixed. Here is what I actually expected.

I part my lips to compose a lie but he talks again so I haven't had the chance.

"I was looking for you when you left me at the apartment."

Yeah, he was. That is because he wanted to spy on me and he was suspecting me about something. It's a good thing that I'm aware because if I haven't been careful, he would have caught me accurately.

"And why were you looking for me?"

He steps closer to reach me and when he does, he crosses his arms and locks his eyes on mine.

"I was thinking maybe we could work this out. Our relationship, I mean. We aren't like this before, you know. We were acting like a particular couple. We were doing the things a couple does. We don't ignore each other. We tell each other stories about how the way went off like… _remember?_"

_Was this Tobias? _I ask myself. _This is definitely not him. He doesn't speak so romantic as if he's very nostalgic of what we have before. _Am I hearing and seeing him right? He's the one being so strange now. This is not good, I think but I'd give it a try anyway.

"Uh… in fact, that was the reason why I left this morning. I… I wanted to think about all of it. I wanted to make myself realize that as _your _girlfriend, I lack in a lot of things. Patience. Time. Understanding. I don't usually compromise if you can notice and I think it's unfair in my part."

He nods—which made me kind of relieved—but he suddenly shakes his head after a second. "I think you forgot one more thing." He says huskily. "You haven't mentioned what I was _expecting _from you."

"E-expecting from me?" I hug my waist, thinking it could help me relax. "What is that?"

He swallows hard and shoots me the kind of look that he gives to his initiates during initiation. This. Is. Really. Not. Good. I can sense it.

"_Honesty_." He utters with a knowing tone. "You forgot to mention honesty."

Not knowing how to act on the spot, I just release a nervous laugh. "W-what do you mean with honesty? So… so you're saying that I'm lying? I… I _never _lie to you."

He doesn't take off that look on me. He just goes on.

"Well you are lying now."

His eyes suddenly become cold. He presses his arms against his chest a little more firmly and we stand there like statues. He must be waiting for me to hide myself another lie—which is the only option that I have in hand.

"What made you say that I'm lying to you? You don't even have a proof."

"I do have, Eliza." For once I thought he might shout but he doesn't. "I saw it with my own eyes at the control room this morning. You've got nothing to hide."

I narrow my eyes and shake my head slowly—a gesture that states the _pretense _of not knowing anything about what he is saying. But because I've known him as being a smart Dauntless, I somehow doubt I'd get rid of this.

When nothing comes out from my mouth, he speaks again.

"I watched the videotapes of the previous happenings here in the compound. The last time I checked there's nothing that connects you to Peter. But according to the footage, there is. You two seemed as though you're forming a pattern on how to attack someone and it happened with purpose that that someone _is _Tris."

With this, I no longer hold my tongue. I eventually find the time to retort.

"And how sure are you that we were actually making a plan to attack that Stiff, ha? You didn't even hear anything!"

"Peter told me, Eliza!" he's raised his voice already. "He told me himself! He told me you ordered him to do that to Tris!"

"And why would I do that, ha, Tobias?! Isn't she the one who hates me? Isn't she the one who assaulted me at the dining hall the other day?! You may think I'm the evil one in here but you didn't know that the girl's longing to hurt me!"

"Enough of your lies!" he says bitterly. His eyes go colder and his figure grows more intense. "I'm so tired of these! I'm so tired of the lies that you make to have me! Now I know why you were acting weird the last few days. That is because you don't want to be caught! And I consider your dismissal this morning too, you know? You left and rode on the trains as though you always do that since the previous months. If I am not mistaken, you are playing with your schemes again to have something against the other people here. _Right, Eliza?" _

The moment he asks that, I want to scream in his face that _yes_, I'm playing games again but this time, it's going to shoot him off the ground like a bus that steals a human body in the midst of the streets. But instead, my voice goes surprisingly quiet when I tell him,

"So what are you saying now? That this is done? That _we're _done?"

And, as if he doesn't even think twice about it, he answers, "Yes. We're done. We don't even reflect to each other as you can see. And for the most part, that's what's going to end us in the future, too."

From being quiet, I laugh like I'm insane. Tobias looks at me casually and I notice that he rolls his eyes. I say, "Fine. You said so. _We're done. _I don't bother at all. There're a lot more guys out there who could want me more than you wanted me. Remember, _Four? _One of the reasons why you chose me to be your girlfriend is because I'm pretty? Well then, it won't be difficult for me to have another boyfriend while you work on taking that Stiff as for your new girlfriend. That Stiff who, in any content, is not much prettier than me anyway."

"I don't care about the face, Eliza." He says with a teasing look. "I don't care if your nose is perfect or your eyes are green or you have a fine shape unless you combine them with the right amount of attitude. It's like when you're in a crowd; nobody will give a damn on how much you prepared your dress or how high your heels are if you have nothing something moral to boast anyway. People aren't always going to look in _that _pretty face of yours, Eliza. When they get tired of looking at it, they would move on with your insides. And if your insides aren't pretty as what's on your outside, your dress, shoes and all that don't make perfect sense."

Somehow I wish I could just let his words pass from my left ear to my right ear so I don't have to end up being speechless; embarrassed. Somehow I want to come up with a thing to snap back at him but my mind has gone blank, thinking that he's right with _some _part of what he has said. But because I don't take defeats, I'd better believe that he is mistaken.

"We're done in here." I know it sounds stupid since I've just said it earlier but when Tobias's mention of Peter comes back to my mind, I have the urge to find that sixteen-year-old and pour all my anger at him. "There're better things for me to care about than this crap break-up."

And, before I pass by him, I roll my eyes. Again, I know it's silly of me but his words echo in my head and I cannot think straight. How dare him! But anyway, in just a few days, I could finally see how my payback on him works. I'd let him cover his face in embarrassment and hide in his apartment like the same young boy who runs at his room whenever his father intends to beat him. After all, that's who really is. Or… if that's how I _knew _him.

The moment I have left him behind, I shut my eyes and imagine that my hands are covering my ears. By now, my intent is to walk faster and find that treacherous cunt who doesn't know how to shut a mouth. Once I lay my eyes on him, he better expect to hear me bicker non-stop.

And, as though the hallways have heard the small voice in my head, he show up right when I'm about to reach my apartment. I bet he was taking a walk around the compound but I don't give a damn as much as he didn't when he spilled _our _secret to Tobias.

The next thing that I know after waiting for him to purposely finds me standing there, I am already rushing to scope him and grasp his arm.

"You liar!" I'm supposed to smack his face although his wounds don't heal enough yet but he's caught my fist in his palm. "Whoa whoa whoa. And what do you think you're doing?"

I strive to release my hand on his but he tilts hid head to furrow his eyes on me. "Let me guess. Mad because I told Four?"

"Well it's a good thing that you know, you jerk! And what about you? What do you think you _did_, ha?! Deceive me, Peter, deceive me? Well thank you! Thank you for putting me on shit!"

The Peter who just smirks and laughs whenever I act like this is not here. Peter wears the same look that Tobias wore when he said the line, _"You forgot to mention honesty." _Only that, Peter's gaze states another subject.

"So you came grasping my arm to blame on me? Like c'mon!" he drops my hand with vigor. "I've been waiting for the reward that you promised but did I get anything, Eliza? _Did I get anything? _I got nothing but corners of questions about your secrets which I don't even have a damn idea about!"

"It's your problem not mine Peter!" I snap back. "You certainly don't know how to wait so that's what you got!"

"Guess what Eliza? You don't know how to deal with arrangements on precise time that's why you get paid with what you just deserve. And forget about that reward that you were talking about. I don't care about it anymore. You go and handle yourself. Now I suppose your boyfriend has broken up with you, am I right?" for the first time since recently, he smirks. But this isn't a smirk of fun; rather of mockery.

"He doesn't love you anyway and you are stupid for believing that he does. If you only saw how angry he was when he found that you were the one who ordered me to do those crap, you should have witnessed how protective he is to Tris unlike with you."

"Shut up," I say.

"Well it's true."

"I said shut up."

"Can't accept that fact?"

"I said shut up!"

"Fine," he says with an average tone. "Let's just see where're you're going to end up with these games of yours. Let me say good luck before I leave."

And right after that, Peter turns away and doesn't look back anymore. His and Tobias's words come together in my head. Jeanine's words join in. Images of my prior life flash back too. My parents being factionless stare at me in my memory. _Iris Caldwell _looks at me with those innocent eyes as if she wants to tell me, "You are not you."

Maybe she's right. But maybe not.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

**Twenty Six: You Own Me**

**Tobias's POV**

For a moment, I stand at the midst of the hallways, waiting to feel Eliza's absence behind me. When I can no longer sense her, I decided to have dinner at the dining hall as though nothing has just happened. It's been two years, then. Two years since we've been together. But I could tell that a lot of changes have occurred as those years passed by. Eliza started off as the type of person who has a sense of humor. She can also put wit in a conversation whenever we talk and can switch one subject to another. No wonder she's an Erudite. However, as much as she likes talking, she hasn't shared enough details about herself. Let's say I've been her boyfriend and I knew about her favorite color, food, hobby, and the things she used to do on her old faction. But once I asked her about her parents, the information that she gave seemed rehearsed and idealistic. I tried to push her for more yet she quickly changed the matter.

But as evident as it is, we are somehow even. She didn't tell me much about her former life and I didn't let her in of my fear landscape. Fair enough.

Later, I arrive at the dining hall. Someone instantly welcome me once I've stepped in. Oh no, correction. They were, in fact, two people.

"Four, join us here!"

"We're actually waiting for you to come. Where've you been?"

Not hesitating, I take the seat opposed from Lauren and Tori. Lauren is chewing food while Tori gulp water from her glass. At the corner of my eye, I've already spotted my and Lauren's former initiates, all together again in one table. I easily had the glimpse of Tris and Uriah sitting side by side that makes me recall the way I embraced Tris this morning. If she is in love with Uriah, I wonder why she would sound concern when she asked me to take good care of myself. Moreover, I somewhat don't get the point of why she allows me to do gestures such as kissing her in the forehead and folding her in my arms. But anyway, I don't think she's the type of girl who'd cheat on her boyfriend with her previous instructor. Maybe all the words and things we've said and done to each other recently are nothing but brotherly actions to her. Maybe there's nothing really going on between us but the fact that from considering me as her instructor, she now sees me as her _brother_. Talk about fascinating.

"I'll just grab myself dinner." Lauren and Tori nod as I rise from my chair. I meet the Dauntless lunch lady at the counter who appears to be ten years older than me, considering the way she pulled her hair up in a messy bun. When she asked me what I wanted and I spoke, she jerks a smile on my way.

The moment she's given me the tray with the meal I've chosen, I was about to go back to my table. But before I could turn away, she inquired me a question first that I didn't think she'd mind to ask.

"Why can't I see Eliza?"

She peeks at the room behind me to find a sign of my ex-girlfriend and even me joins her in searching so I won't just stand there awkwardly. When I turn my look back at her and her focus lands on me again, I tell her this, "We just broke up."

"Oh," she tilts her head back. "Not a good thing, isn't it?"

_It was, I think, a good choice._

I refuse to answer her this time. I don't care if it's rude of me but I just twirl around to go back to the table. She won't even pay heed to my action, I suppose. She'd rather think it's a natural thing about me—having a cold attitude. But it's not really that way. I just can't find being kind as easy sometimes.

I glide my tray on the table and sit. Right away, I forget about the lunch lady's question and goes back to answering Lauren's.

"I talked to Eliza." I separate the spoon from the fork. "I reckoned there's a reason for me to do so."

"Not being a meddler but… what did you talk about?" Lauren's chewing again.

"I found out something about her, Lauren." I taste the beans on my plate. "And she's been acting strange since the last few days."

"And she didn't go to work yesterday." Tori inserts.

"That's another thing. That is because she left the compound but I haven't followed her so I'd know where she was going. I suddenly heard Peter and Zeke bickering to each other so I went to figure out what was going on. Eliza's out of my attention."

Lauren narrows her eyes. "Peter and Zeke? What was it all about?"

I glance at the other tables to check if somebody can overhear then when I'm assured that it's safe, I begin sharing the details.

"If you have heard about what Peter did to Tris…"

I'm not giving much yet but their eyes widen already. That meant to say that they knew about it.

"I feel bad for Tris after he did that crap to her, you know." Tori plays with her fork. "Was he out of his mind?"

"He is _totally _out of his mind." Lauren says bitterly. "He looks good with those wounds on his face."

When they're done expressing their reactions, I continue.

"Sure you did hear. The quarrel between him and Zeke was concerned about that matter. Zeke was interrogating Peter of why did he do such thing and who ordered him to do it. And in a sudden… Eliza's name was mentioned."

Tori, who's just about to feed herself with the spoon of potato pieces, slowly bring her hand down and stare at me in disbelief. On the contrary, Lauren mouths the word, "_What?"_

"_What?"_ she says at last. "You mean to say that she—"

"Yes, she did. Peter confessed it. And I just went at the control room this morning to see how they formed the scheme. There were two videotapes that showed them talking. That said much."

"W-what…. What on earth was she _thinkin_g?" Lauren lays her hands in front her to state emphasis. "What did she say to you?"

Tori thickens her voice. "Eliza does hate Tris. It's pretty obvious especially when they're on the same shift on work. As a matter of fact, I think she doesn't like me too."

"She was denying it." I turn my head to the right direction with furrowed eyes. "She was acting strange so nobody will suspect about what she's doing. And she was convincing me that Tris's the root of all of these. But when I've found out about her charade, I was more convinced about the fact that she's a liar."

Lauren and Tori continue to watch me. By the way I talk about Eliza; it's already evident that we're over. I suppose they've pictured that on my face.

"So… um… you two are… _done?_" I think Tori thought twice of asking but I say it anyway.

"Yes we are."

Lauren smirks as she taps the table twice quietly in order not to disturb the others. "Finally!"

Tori laughs. "Seems like you're not Team Eliza."

Lauren rolls her eyes. "Oh, definitely not." And then she turns her gaze on me. "You know that Four, right? I've told you before that I don't like Eliza. So I think you won't be offended with how I reacted. Aren't you?"

"Not at all."

Soon, I close the subject about Eliza. For a moment we don't say anything to focus on our food. Lauren's about to be finished, the same thing with Tori; but I don't hurry to empty my plate. As I swallow another spoon of beans, my head automatically move to its left—right at the table where Tris and her friends are—right where _she and Uriah _are. I shouldn't assume that Tris feels something special about me as the way I feel about her. I shouldn't believe that she sees me as something else for I've just figured out that I am just like a brother to her. By the way she and Uriah look at each other states the obvious that they are truly in love.

I pick my glass to drink some water. When it flows down to my stomach, my stomach clenched. Here it comes again. This feeling. _Not here, Four. Not here._

_But they are here. _And I couldn't prevent myself from looking at them; from witnessing how sweet they are. Uriah leans closer to Tris and rubs his nose against hers. In feedback, Tris giggles and kisses his nose. _Stomach clench, stomach clench. _Then, as I continue to watch, and as I've already forgotten about my food, I have the sudden sensation that Uriah's going to do _it _now. I've already seen it coming. _He's going to do it._

And then, just like what I was expecting, he does it. He kisses her slightly on the lips. Tris tilts her head back a little but she doesn't protest about the kiss. His lips stay on hers for a few more seconds until I finally have the urge to look away. To avoid having Lauren and Tori read me, I just thought of finishing this dinner now. When I'm done with this, I can walk out of here without them wondering why. There's an excuse like, "Maybe there's work on the control room." Or, "Got to go to the apartment. See you both tomorrow."

Fortunate that I've resist not to look at Tris and Uriah, I stand up from my chair. Good thing that didn't surprise either Lauren or Tori.

"Where're you leading at, Four?" Lauren does the same thing. "I'm going with Tori at the parlor. Just to chit-chat."

I shrug. "Apartment."

She nods. "See you around, then."

I nod too.

When I've separated ways with Lauren and Tori, I twist the excuse that I've made around. I didn't go to my apartment. I went to the Chasm instead.

I lean at the railing as the water hits the rocks and the stoned-walls. The roaring is somehow soothing but it doesn't calm my thoughts at any rate. I keep on flashing back to _that _kiss. Yeah, maybe it's just a light kiss but it's _still _a kiss. Tris, likewise, seemed as though she liked it. Well what the hell am I thinking anyway? He's her boyfriend. When I and Eliza were still together, we also do that kind of stuff. And maybe that is the point here. We're not a couple anymore. I'm back to single. I'm back to the status of being with no one but my heart is taken. _Taken by a girl who's already owned by somebody else. Taken by a girl who only sees me as her elder brother telling her to be careful as though she'd get her knee scratched. _This is insane.

Problem is I want to be something more to Tris. But I guess I am not an expert at expressing feelings so my approach is being misinterpreted as friendly. I'm no-romantic too. I am not the type of guy like Uriah who knows the exact words that a girl _does _want to hear. I'm more of as intimidating, complex, and a mystery. And once, or maybe a lot more times before, Tris accused me for taunting her. In other words, she pictures me as the same scary instructor who pointed the gun to Peter and who lectured Christina that the first thing to learn here in Dauntless is to shut their mouths. And, if I am not mistaken, that isn't her type. At the same time, I don't know how to be someone she'd like.

As my thoughts go deeper and deeper like the water, I feel as though someone has been listening to them in secrecy. I can't tell how I felt it but my back prickles with chill and there are eyes locked on me.

I was planning to turn my head around to verify if my sensation is right but a voice—so small but stable—said my name in a manner that alarmed me.

"Four?"

And then finally, I turn around. There I see the girl who owns my thoughts.

_Tris. _

**A/N: Hey guys! There's new Divergent movie news! Sadly, VERY SADLY, Brenton Thwaites is no longer on the options. :'( *crying mode* and the casting for Four is now to 3 actors named as Alex Pettyfer, Lucas Till, and Jeremy Irvine. Jeremy was just new to me so I decided to watch some of his interviews on Youtube. I think he's okay with me. I also watched the trailer of his movie, "Now Is Good" where he starred with Dakota Fanning and I thought he's handsome and he can act! If you want to see him act, then I recommend you to see that movie. And now that Colton Haynes, Drew Roy and Brenton Thwaites won't be Four, I'm hoping that Jeremy will get it instead. Who knows right? Maybe he and Shailene do have chemistry on screen!**

**ANYWAY, on the idea of this chapter, my dear friend, **_**MagdeLenaJones **_**helped me. She was the one who gave me the idea of Uriah and Tris being lovey-dovey and the idea when Uriah kissed Tris. : ) Also, I'd like to grant your wish of Uriah falling in love with Tris. I think that'd be a good plot twist! : )**

**And, of course, as always, upon writing this chapter, I was listening to the song, **_**Six Degrees of Separation **_**by **_**The Script. **_**I just love that band! : )**

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

**Chapter Twenty Seven: It's Always Been You**

**Tris' POV**

I told my friends that I would leave the dining hall at the first place. Will and Shauna aren't done with their food yet so a few of us decided to wait for them. But like me, Christina thought of leaving too. As we walked together on the exit, she asked me about Uriah's kiss. I've also discussed it with him when Tobias left the hall. I shot him a look of query of why did he do that and as what I was expecting, he said it's part of the pretense.

"_Sorry if I scared you, Tris." _He said. _"I just thought Four's still doubting about it. It's nothing serious too so don't worry. We're still friends." _

I didn't expect that he'd actually do that. I thought he's just going to kiss my nose but his lips went directly to my lips. And there it happened. I wasn't sure if Tobias has seen it but if he did, I don't know if I should be glad or frustrated.

When I and Christina part from each other since she said she'd go to the clinic, I consider of going to the Chasm. As usual, to listen to the roar of the water and let thoughts scream to the stoned-walls. But when I'm almost a few feet away from it, I realize that somebody has had the idea before me. The thing is, when I keep my focus on his back figure for a few more seconds, I reckon that he isn't _just _somebody.

"Four?" I knew it was him but I still called him by his nickname because saying it feels good from my lips. But aside from that, there are a few Dauntless members around the Pit that might hear me when I call him by Tobias.

Tobias turns around with hands clasped on the railing and I catch the light of surprise from his eyes although he hides it immediately. Considering that he is here alone, I assume that he wants nobody bothering him. I also want to be alone but he's got the place before I can.

His face is composed yet his gaze states a sign of coldness. Suddenly, I feel a bit frightened. He doesn't like meddlers. And by now, I am one. I shouldn't have called him. But he speaks before I could think of leaving.

"The Chasm's a good place to visit when you want to _think,_ isn't it?"

In a fraction of seconds I just detect the way he said it and the way he looks at me. For some reason I am finding meaning behind those deep shades in his eyes but as always, he _is _a mystery.

"Yes… it is. The place I like to go at when thoughts gather in my mind."

He nods. He then switches his focus from me to the ground. That meant that I have to say something to keep away the awkwardness although I'm not sure why this is awkward.

"So that's why you're here?" I slowly walk towards the railing to stand next to him. "Because you want to think?"

I've pressed my hands beneath the metal of the railing but he's still looking at the ground. As I wait for him to response, I watch his features. How tall he seems even though he's leaning. How dark his hair is. How sturdy his muscles against his shirt are. How composed his face is. And how he can swap from Four's expression to Tobias's like a piece of cake as though they're just a one person.

"Came here to think." He releases his gaze off of the ground and moves it to the stoned-walls a distance away from his face. "Supposedly I'm going to the training room to shoot pistols but I figured out I want silence."

I mimic him by watching the same unmoving stoned-walls. "I came here for the same reason too, in fact."

He turns his head to me through the corner of my eyes. "Want to share?"

I chuckle though nothing's funny. Perhaps this is a way so the conversation won't be too serious.

"It's just about… um… Uriah."

I've already said the words before I thought of not saying them. I turn to Tobias to see a reaction but his face remains the same. At the very first place, I don't know what has gotten to me to make this talk arrive to Uriah and why, of all people, am I saying these to Tobias himself. Is this because I'm still trying to convince him that I have a boyfriend? Or because if ever he saw Uriah kissing me, I want to reassure him that it was _nothing? _But will he believe?

"What about Uriah?" he takes his focus back on the walls. He sounds nonchalant when he said his name that made me think he find this—_me_—boring. "You… got on a fight?"

"Oh no no," I beam. "I just think that he's… uh… a good guy. He's funny, kind and…"

_Wait, what am I saying? No, __**what the hell**__ am I saying? Describing my fake boyfriend to Tobias? For what?_

Swiftly, I verify his expression. It's still the same. Peaceful. I wonder if I'm making sense in here or I'm just disturbing him like a creep. But anyway, since there's no way to take the words back, the only option I have is to find out how to turn it around so it won't sound foolish.

"I mean… we were just initiates together before. I-I didn't even know him at the very first time I landed on the net. I think I… I met him a few weeks later and his approach was likeable so he was… he was easy to get along with. Now… after initiation, it's less surprising that we're… we're together."

Even the word, "we" appears to be hard for me to say. I feel like this is non-sense but I keep on talking anyway.

He glances at me. "So you're thinking about how the two of you started?"

I bite my lower lip and nods. "Yes, I do. I find it fast. The time, I mean. I'm figuring out that… that there's something more to come but we don't know what they are."

"You're scared?" he says it like a real question. "Scared of what may happen?"

I release a hard breath before looking at him with ease. If I have parted my lips to talk about these, then maybe I could keep my eyes open to have focus.

"I think we all arrive to that point. No matter… no matter how you've trained yourself to be brave, there's always going to be a part of you that wonders what's coming up next. And by means of it, there are things in your list that you don't want to happen but you can't predict that. Things happen their way."

"True," he nods. "There's no assurance of what's lying ahead the future. And as we wait for that to reach us, we feel a mixture of emotions. We feel _scared, _thrilled, exhausted, weak… but when it's coming closer and closer to you, you don't have any more options but to be strong."

Lately Tobias seems like he's bored being around me but as I watched him say those things, I knew he is sincere. And I believe him.

"I suppose you're right." I drum my fingers on the railing. "And I do trust Uriah. He's been my friend even before we became together so for me I think it's quite easy to tell what kind of person he is."

I realize that after a few minutes of talking, I've finally come to feel relax. I no longer stammer like earlier; I can keep my voice steady now. Maybe it's because I can feel this conversation is not going anywhere anymore.

"Trust is a big thing, Tris." It's the first time that he said my name since I came here. "You don't close your eyes and dip your hand inside a ball of names to pick who you suppose to trust. _You _choose them."

And that meant to say that I've chosen to trust my parents. Caleb. Christina and the rest. I've also chosen to trust Tobias. He's right. They don't pick for us but rather we pick for ourselves.

"What does trust mean to you… Four?"

"_Tobias,_" he corrected. "Just call me that way. No one will even hear. Besides, I want to be used with hearing myself called through that name again."

"Tobias, then." I say.

He nods. "Trust. It's the thing that bounds people, no matter how many they are. But I've figured out that there are two types of it."

"What are those?"

As though I can see right through him, I guess his answers come to him by nature. He doesn't think about them anymore. He just _knew _them and he's known so well.

"The first one was the trust wherein you choose whom you should trust. Nowadays you don't know who can keep your secret and who cannot. You don't know who'd listen and who would not. So the process is that you meet people and see for yourself if they are worth trusting. The second kind of trust is when… you _don't _choose anymore. Once you feel that the person facing you is sincere, you'd suddenly feel the desire to open up to that person without caring about what you are telling them; whether it's embarrassing or disgusting; you tell them anyway because you know that they won't judge you."

I hang on every word he says and doesn't want to miss a thing. He has that ability to make you listen. The ability to make you reflect from what he saying. The ability to hit you with his words but you won't feel any pain because they are all true. Now I want to identify how far has he come in order to have himself settled with that kind of belief. But I'm not sure enough if he trusts me to give details.

I give it a try anyway, "Who's the person that you're sure you trust?"

For a moment silence gathers around us. The roaring of the water craves for more attention and so as the river beneath us. But I am not paying heed to those. My attention is on him. So when he finally parts his lips to response, I make sure I am listening.

"That's not an easy question, Tris."

I blink my eyes a few times and look away. Yes, I know. He's experienced something terrible during his younger years, how could I've forgotten that? Therefore, trusting someone doesn't come as simple to him anymore.

"But it's not hard to answer."

I take my eyes back on him.

"It doesn't mean that you've been hurt before, you _can't _trust again. Me… I had the mind to do it again. But I did it carefully. Let's say Eliza was the first one whom I trusted when I transferred here in Dauntless…" On the mention of her name, I realize that I've forgotten the recent events here in the compound. "But the trust that I gave her was the first type of trust. You could only say that you're sure of trusting someone when you trust them through the two ways."

"So you don't trust anybody completely?"

"No," he quickly says, "I do trust someone completely."

_And… who is it?_

"I see."

I knew I wanted him to say more but I might appear pesky already. If he does want to share it with me, he'd do so because he trusts me. And that's the case.

"You want to know about her?"

For a portion of seconds, I thought I've gone deaf by the loud smack of water on the walls. But just then, his voice echoes in my head that I have to reassure myself with, _Her? Who's her?_

"Her?" I turn to look at him and I'm surprised that he's already looking at me. "You—"

He chuckles and looks away. "I figured out that you would think that way."

"What way?"

"You know what way."

_Oh. _How did he read that I was thinking he had someone else aside from Eliza? And by means of it, he is right. That is what I assumed he meant.

"It's a different story, Tris." He goes back on watching the walls. "And this girl that I'm sure I trust is… also different."

If it's not Eliza, it's someone else. Maybe it's a girl he's met in Abgenation before he transferred to Dauntless. A girl whom he probably met on school or somewhere else in his former faction. And by the way I see it, it seems as though he haven't seen her for so long now since he became Dauntless; he's far away from her now. From the only person he's sure he trusts.

"At first I just see her as a… _girl. _Because when you look at her, your first impression might be she's puny. That she has nothing inside of her. That she's filled with fears of moving and making a mistake. But as I got to know her more, I saw a better image of her. The kind of image in a gallery full of colorful pictures yet she's the only one painted in black and white. But when you step back to have a clearer view of the gallery, she's the first and the only one that catches your eyes because she's painted differently."

As I continue to listen and to watch Tobias talking about that girl, I realize that he won't talk about Eliza this way. If he would, he should have done it. This girl might be truly special to him. I hope he'd tell me her name.

"She has this approach that makes me nervous sometimes and it's silly. Nobody before who talks to me or stick around me has given me that kind of feeling. I figured out that there is really something about her. She is _something. _But I don't think she knows that."

With this, I furrow my eyes. How could that girl not know?

"Why not?"

He just shrugs. "Maybe because I'm waiting for her to figure it out herself."

That makes somehow sense. If she can feel how Tobias sees her, she'd comprehend that he means so much to him. That he trusts her more than he does with anyone else. That brings me to wonder where is she now and how did they ended up like before he left Abnegation, in case that's where he met her.

I rub the railing gently; the metal feels rough on my fingers. And as I keep eyes straight to the walls again, I tell him, "She seems so special to you."

From the rocks beneath us, I feel Tobias transfer his focus on me. It doesn't make me feel anxious but a small voice in my head commands me to return the look. And so, after letting a few seconds to pass, I did.

"She really is."

**A/N: Since on school, I've already planned to make this chapter as Four and Tris' moment. I hope you did like it and you enjoyed reading 'cause I enjoyed writing it as well, especially Tobias's dialogue about the two kinds of trust. In fact, the idea about it was just on the spot. I just suddenly found myself typing the words from Tobias's part, not realizing it all came together in one point. **

**And I DO AGREE with you guys that Jeremy Irvine will make a great Tobias! Although we badly wanted either Drew Roy, Colton Haynes, or Brenton Thwaites to play the role, there aren't on the options. So let's just have faith that Jeremy will nail the part as Tobias Eaton and the movie will turn out as phenomenal! Can't waaaaaaait! **

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted **


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Out from the Shell**

**Tobias's POV**

_**Two days later…**_

Last night I alarmed my clock to wake me up by eight a.m. sharp. Eric and I have another work to be done both at the training and control room. Let's say it's still not that easy to deal with him but for the initiation's sake, I would have to. I think I've heard the alarm about forty minutes ago but my eyes won't open. I let it make noise until it stopped and I went back to sleeping. An hour later, I automatically wake up. The first thing that I see is the door. When I roll to the other side of the bed, I face my alarm clock settled on the bedside table.

_9:15 a.m._

Like a person who's poured by a pail of cold water, I pull the blanket aside and drag out of bed. I instantly run to the bathroom to have at least three minutes of shower then I yank a shirt and jeans in my drawer. To pay my stomach a bit of consideration, I grab a quick toast at my small kitchen and I'm ready to go. I put the keys of the apartment in my pocket as I walk and as I try to recall when the clock alarmed. It's been an hour already. How could I've not resist the lethargy if I was used in waking up so early during last time's initiation?

En route to the Pit, exchange of banters welcomes me. I pass by two Dauntless members with tattoos who are hissing to each other and without intending to; I hear what they are saying.

"He's killed a woman in a young age?"

"Yeah, would you believe it? His father beats him and locks him inside a cabinet?"

When I hear those familiar words, I feel as though an iceberg has just run up to my spine. I stand on my feet a few inches away from them, waiting for them to say more. But then, at the other side of the Pit, there are more people in cliques hissing just like the two. The silly thing is… _one of them is holding a paper and they're looking at me. _

What is going on here?

"There he is," somebody from my back says. I turn around to see who that is and I find another two Dauntless members staring at me from head to toe. "Eaton's son."

And just when that member mentioned the word son, I knew I've figured out what these is all about. I am now exposed.

"Four," another voice comes from behind. When I peek over my shoulder, I see Zeke holding a newspaper. "Have you seen this?"

He shows me the newspaper that he's holding in a portrait manner and considering those bold letters printed on the front page, it's no doubt that this is the reason why something intriguing is going around here.

_**DAUNTLESS INSTRUCTOR, FOUR IS MARCUS EATON'S SON!**_

Feeling the fury within me, I snatch the newspaper from Zeke's hands and scan the news written about me. I don't want to waste hell time reading all of it so I just search for the keywords that would tell me how much information was revealed about my past. When I begin, I thought I might tear the pages without thinking twice. This is what I've read:

"_We have known Four, the Dauntless instructor, as being a prodigy in his own faction with being ranked first during his own initiation and being well-skilled in shooting guns and throwing knives. But the saying 'Behind every person we admire is a dark secret' might be true with his state of affairs. Four, who's truly named as Tobias Eaton, had a horrible past before he became what he is today. During his younger years, Four was left by his mother to his father, Marcus Eaton, Abgenation leader. Every mistake that he does has a consequence of being beaten by Marcus's belt that in fear, he would have to run upstairs to escape. But the more he attempted to do so, the more Marcus found another way to penalize him. And that is, to trap him inside the cabinet until he learned his lesson. This is said to be the reason why Four left Abnegation to transfer in Dauntless; why he refused to be the Dauntless leader because he doesn't want to have interaction with his father. So to speak, behind his nickname Four, indicates the things that he fear. The first one is his father. The second one is being trapped in an enclosed place. The third one is said to be shooting a woman he didn't know, and the fourth is being in high places…"_

And then, just like that, I fasten my hold on the paper and look at everybody who's staring at me. Some have hatred; some have irony. I turn to face Zeke with cold eyes and ask him,

"_Who_ did this?"

"There were three Erudites who went here about thirty minutes ago, giving copies of the latest issue of the paper."

"I know that. What I meant to ask is who _revealed_ these to them."

"I… I have no idea."

I lock my gaze on Zeke for a few more fractions of seconds, reading him. No, he didn't know about my secret. I didn't tell him. And I never told anyone from Erudite about my past so therefore, there wouldn't have the knowledge about it unless someone who knew the details tell them. The only two people whom I confessed my four fears about are _Tris _and _Eliza._

But I don't think Tris would do this to me. She's the only one I'm sure that I trust that is why I let her in of my fear landscape. I gave her the two types of trust while I only gave one to Eliza. And if there's a person who has caused catastrophes in people's lives lately, it is, no doubt, Eliza.

"You're alright, Four?" Zeke inquires.

I almost laugh.

"Is that a question?"

Not caring if I've been rude with my answer, I turn away from him with the paper on my hands. Zeke isn't the only one with the copy. When I walk by the Pit, there are more Dauntless members holding the newspaper and shooting me a look. I wanted to shout at them and tell them to put away those stares but I knew that that would be disgusting. Clasping the paper on my hand as though it might crumple, I pass by the clinic. My head automatically turn to its right and I find Will and Tris sitting in a bench, reading something in their minds together.

The newspaper.

I thought of staying there for a while to watch Tris' expression as she reads the news as if I'm suspecting she's the one who exposed my secret. But the thing is… I _do _trust her and I'm certain of it. What I think of doing right now is to confront Eliza.

Before either of them could catch me standing outside the clinic, I dismiss from the Pit.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

I was waiting for Christina at the clinic since she said she'd need my help. She's left for several minutes already but still she wasn't coming back yet. Instead of her, it was Will who met me in the clinic. The Will I knew who always has a smile when he sees me wasn't there. His face was red and he seemed nervous. I asked him what's going on but I heard no words. Suddenly, I saw the newspaper on his hands and he showed it to me.

My mouth fell open with what it has.

"Where… where did you get this?" I tried to compose my face but I hadn't.

"Three people from my old faction came here to give the Dauntless this paper."

I sit beside Will on the bench inside the clinic. The title of the headline news is definitely an attention seeker. _**DAUNTLESS INSTRUCTOR, FOUR IS MARCUS EATON'S SON!**_

Who doesn't have a heart that did this to Tobias? He was cautious of keeping his past from other people; he doesn't want anybody else to know about it for he knew they'd judge him. But they don't know everything that he's been through. They don't know how scared he has been under the same roof as his father. They don't know how it all felt like to him for them to judge him and for them to announce his secret this way!

"So he killed a woman…" Will says.

I shoot him a look. "It's now how you think it is."

"But…"

"He was still young that time. And he was frightened. Marcus was beating him."

Before I knew it, I'm already raising my voice without intending so.

I blink my eyes and turn my head from Will. With a hush voice, I say, "Sorry. I'm just saying that this headline news couldn't just describe Four that way. They don't know what he's really been through."

Will tries to speak but the words don't continue. I just realize that I indirectly told him that I knew all about these even before they were printed.

"So… you knew about it."

This time, I put my eyes back on his face.

"Yes, I do." I swallow. "He… he showed me his fear landscape during initiation. I saw how angry Marcus was when he was beating him. I saw how terrified Four has been when he was trapped inside the cabinet. I saw his fears. I did, Will. So I know."

Will changes his expression to sympathy. Then he looks down to the newspaper again to find how his former faction ruined Tobias's identity. But I don't blame Will. He's no longer an Erudite. He doesn't belong there anymore. If there's someone to blame for this, it's the Erudite newspaper staff and the heartless person who allied with tearing the covers of Tobias's character.

When no one of us says a thing after, the door of the clinic abruptly storms open. Will and I tilt our head up and find Zeke swearing under his breath.

"Something's wrong, Zeke?" Will asks.

Zeke flies a hand on his forehead and says, "Four has seen the paper."

My eyes widen. "_Where is he now?_"

"It happened this way. He arrived at the Pit and everybody was hissing and looking at him. So… in order to let him know what's going on, I approached him with the paper."

"And then?"

"Then he read the news. He seemed mad after that when I asked him if he's okay, he answered me with, 'Is that a question?' and turned away from me with the paper grasped on his hand."

"Of course he's not okay, Zeke." I protest. "These are all in his past!"

"Yeah, yeah, we're there. But he walked out from the Pit and I don't know where he went."

I'm worried about him. But at the same time, I hate the person who did this to him. If there are people he's chosen to trust with this secret, it could possibly be just Eliza, me, and… and… the girl he's sure he trusts.

Upon waking up to that realization, we hear some noise outside the clinic. It might be from the Pit or from the hallways but it sound so near.

"What's that?" Will rises from the bench. He peeks over Zeke's shoulder and finds a large group of Dauntless members and employees gathered around two people fighting.

"Hey, let's see what's going on!"

Will promptly bypass Zeke and push the door open. With no hesitation, I and Zeke follow him.

Outside, everybody is focused on a scene I don't completely see at first. Among the crowd, I spot Christina with Lynn, Marlene, Shauna and Uriah. Considering the Dauntless' expressions, they don't want to miss a thing about what they're watching. Since I'm small, I cannot attain to see what the scene is about since the people I front me are taller than I am. So what I do, I find another place wherein I could witness what's going on. I whisper excuses as I insert myself into the crowd then finally…

Finally I see it. I see _Tobias. _I see _Eric._

"Next time you learn your lesson," Tobias crouches above Eric with feet apart, on Eric's sides. "You don't know me."

And in that moment, I feel a blend of sentiments for Tobias. I think the people watching do too. When I turn my eyes around to see their reactions, none of them is laughing. I don't know if there's supposedly someone or two laughing because they find this as stupid but I don't think it is. Eric may have said something nasty regarding about what the Erudite wrote on the paper. He may have insulted Tobias and it's just his right to defend himself. The crowd is quiet as they wait for what's going to happen next. No one from us can read Tobias's actions. Even me. He might do something unexpected in a quick switch of events. But somehow, I don't think so. When he finally stands up from his crouching position, I had a better view of Eric's face.

Tobias paid his face with blood. His eyes are bloated that he can't open them. I turn to see the crowd's expressions again; this time, about Eric's face. None of them looks at him with pity. Maybe there are a few who feels bad about what he's got but they don't play it evidently. Now, everyone stares at Tobias like they haven't read the news.

I'm standing just a few feet behind him. I'm waiting for him to feel that I am _here_. I want to send him a message through eye contact that I am with him. But as much as I hope that he'd have the mind to look at his back, he doesn't. Instead, he just tilts his head on shoulder length, his eyes focused on the ground. Although he doesn't settle them on me, I know that he can see me through their corners. I know that he knows I'm here. And as he remains standing like that, I reckon that he's trying to deliver me a message.

I strive to find out what is it that he wants me to understand. He is so deep that it takes me a minute before I could receive the message until he finally turns his head to front view. He doesn't provide Eric or the crowd one last look anymore before leaving the Pit. He sidesteps the crowd with direct attention on his pathway as though nobody is looking at him. When he is out of sight, everyone comments about Eric and the newspaper lying beside his head. I didn't notice it before but now I do. From where I stand, the bold letters stating that Tobias is Marcus's son is spilled with blood. He really did this to Eric because he _had_ to defend himself.

Soon, when the crowd splits directions, I stare at Eric lying on the ground and on the newspaper beside him. It brings me back to when Tobias was looking at me through the corners of his eyes. While connecting the dots from the newspaper with blood to the way he tilted his head, my heart has fallen like a boulder that fell from a hill. I've out lock the padlock of his message.

"_I trust you." _He was trying to say. _"You're the only one I'm sure I trust."_

**A/N: So far, I think this is my favorite chapter. It gave me the feeling that I was the "heartless" person who spilled Tobias's secret. That I was the one who published the newspaper. That I was the "people" gossiping about Tobias. That I was the one who left Eric bleeding on the ground. But truth is it's the **_**characters **_**that did them. **

**Through the process of writing this chapter, I was only listening to one song. I think this song suits the scene where Tobias was trying to send Tris a message saying that he **_**trusts **_**her. So, if you are interested about it, just go to Youtube and search for the song, "Perfect" by Hedley. : )**

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

**A/N: You see…. It's been chapters ago since I didn't put an author's note at the beginning of a chapter. This may be Eliza's **_**last **_**point of view so I'm going to write it under her real name… **_**Iris.**_

**Enjoy reading!**

**Chapter Twenty Nine: Goodbye**

**Iris's POV**

I was at the lower part of the Chasm, near the river and rocks, when the Erudites went to give the Dauntless a copy of their latest paper. As a matter of fact, I wasn't showing up since the last few days. Most of the time I lock myself inside my apartment or I will go here beneath the Pit for I know there's a small chance of anyone seeing me. As I remained sitting on the surface, I heard the Dauntless from above making some noise. They were talking in chorus; their words are muddled. That's when I knew that they're already reading the newspaper and they've discovered Tobias's secret.

I imagined how Tobias will react if he goes to the Pit and sees that everybody is talking about him. I pictured him as being angry and will be looking for me. Of course, to accuse me for doing it. But unfortunately for him, he didn't know where I was. And in every part of the compound that he goes at, he hears his father's name, the way he beats him, how afraid he was when he trapped him in the cabinet; until it all sing together in his mind and he can't take it anymore.

After about fifteen minutes of listening to the Dauntless above me, I decided to finally show up. Tobias was nowhere to be found. The Dauntless haven't moved on from what they've found out. In every group I saw was a copy of the newspaper. It's sort of surprising that nobody looked at me and thought: _Does she know? _Hell yes, I know!

In a minute everyone was just focused on the paper; conversing about the woman that Tobias shot a few years ago. Yet, the second minute I knew, they were already running towards somewhere I didn't see. From afar, I heard a fraction of punches and grunts and that was where the Dauntless gathered around. I went to witness what was going on but at the same time, careful that Tobias might see me. However, to my surprise, it was he himself who's being watched at and he was paying no mercy on Eric's face.

I was about to stay so I could watch more of the fight but I knew that if I would, the Dauntless might spot me and wonder why I wasn't doing anything to stop Tobias. After all, they aren't aware that we have broken up already. But the other reason why I didn't stay anymore was because I saw the Stiff and her friends coming over. Before either of them could catch me present, I have run away from the scene.

Now I'm cautious of going back to my apartment. Tobias might not search for me anymore since he's upset about the occurrence. Or so I hoped he wouldn't. I guide every step that I make, imagining that he'd suddenly emerge from a hallway and hurt me like the way he did to Eric. But even though that might happen, I guess I'm half-ready. I've brought a gun with me even before I went at the lower part of the Chasm. I have a holster in my jeans and that is where the weapon is. I am just a segment of steps to reach my apartment that I could almost feel safe; that I could guard myself inside eventually. But the moment when I've already touched the door handle, I felt it in my back that someone has followed me. The presence is so strong. The tension makes my temple stream down beads of sweat. If there is anyone who could make me feels this way, it's… Tobias.

"You did it." The voice says. And no, it isn't Tobias.

I slowly release my hand off of the door knob and turns around. There she stands before me with eyes like the lion's; as precise as though they could kill. This Stiff _did _know.

"Did what?"

"Nice try, Eliza." She begins walking closer. "How could you still deny about it when obviously you're the only one who'd lose her mind to ruin Tobias's identity?"

With this, I put my hands on both of my waists and raise a brow on her. "So because I knew about his secret I would spill it in public, ha?"

"_Yes," _and then she shakes her head. "Because _I _would never do something like that to him."

Did I just hear myself right? _She _would never? The last thing that I believed in is that I'm the only person Tobias has trusted his secret with. That he was picky of the people he shares it with. It's surprising that this Stiff has the knowledge as me.

"Just because I asked Peter to pester you, I was also the person behind the paper, is that what you mean?"

"The truth came from your mouth, at last." She looks at me from head to toe. "And yes, I believe that you encountered with the Erudite to expose his past. Why you did that? Because you might also be hiding behind the covers of a secret that you _are _a psychopath."

Right after she said that, I knew I would give in to my temper. Just like what I did to her at the Chasm when I attacked her, I pull her by the hair and bring her with me as I walk backwards. When I feel the wood of the door at my back, I smack her head in there with such force that she groans as she limps down the floor. I thought she won't be able to react due to how hard her head was hit but she takes me by surprise when before I could keep a distance away from her, she grabs me in my calf like the world has blurred before me and I stumble down to the ground, my chest against the surface.

My plan is to release myself from her rapidly so I could kick her in the face but she doesn't permit me to stand on my feet. The next thing that she is doing that prevents me from reacting is riding on my back and pulling both my arms behind with her hold so tight. That pretty much makes my head lifts from the floor and I am gritting my teeth. My legs, on the other hand, cannot manage to move because of her weight.

"Have you ever got into your mind and asked yourself what would happen if Tobias's past is opened? Have you ever thought of the effect that it would give him? _Have you, Eliza?"_

"I didn't care," I say between gritted teeth. "And I'm doing these for some benefit. All of it."

"Can you at least hear what you are saying?"

I try to laugh nevertheless of the soreness of my arms. "Is this some kind of interview? Cornering me with questions while I'm on this position?" and I laugh more. "Okay, so since you like to chit-chat for a while Stiff, let me share you some news that you might like to hear."

"Does a fact know how to come out from your mouth?"

"Your brother," I ignore her query. "You know… as what you thought, I went to visit the Erudite headquarters few days ago. In case you're not aware… that is my former faction."

I hear her breaths behind me but she doesn't say anything. I continue.

"Coincidentally… I have met your brother ever since initiation has begun. It was surprising for me to know from him that you are his sister. Don't you know that that's not evident? Caleb still has the good guy in him. I couldn't believe that you are bonded by blood."

"Tell me," she tightens her grasp on me. "What are you planning to do with him?"

I breathe after breath, more beads of sweat running down the side of my face. I am getting tired of this position. My wrists are itching already. I'd have to think of a way to get rid of this Stiff.

"I wouldn't do anything to your brother. I might even use him for the _good_, you know; once I finally have the power in my hands. I think he'd like to rule the factions with me."

"You are insane."

And then, after another breath after breath, I strive to make my legs conscious in order hit her back with the heels of my shoes. When I hear her groan, her grip on me has lighten and she stumbles on the side. This is where I take the chance to stand on my feet as she lies there and pulls out the weapon from my holster like a cheetah. I compress both hands on the pistol and curl a finger around the trigger.

With an evil smile on my face, I tell her, "Hmm… so in which part do you want to be hit?"

For a moment she just stares at the barrel of the pistol as though it's just a paint ball. She shifts her eyes from the weapon to me and to the weapon over and over again until I've decided to step closer to her face.

"You've gone mute, Stiff?"

Again, she does her trick. Stares at the barrel then to me; to the barrel again and to me. Soon, I grow impatient already and fasten my hold on the gun.

"I suppose you can't decide on which part you want me to strike you. I will just choose for you, then."

And when I've finally seen where my aim is, I am ready to press the trigger. In my mind, I begin to count.

_One. _She still doesn't move. _Two. _She swallows hard and scowls at me. She makes a small move that I consider as a plan so I move on with _Three_, she slowly curls her hand to a fist; or if that's what I thought she's doing and when I'm about to say my last count, she takes me by surprise again by rising from where she sits and pushing me with vigor that the gun has thrown from my hand as my back hits the wall. As per a quick response, I hold her square on the shoulders and push her away from me. When she stumbles back, I try to reach for my gun like a drunk. I stagger on the ground due to how hard she launched me on the wall.

I have held the gun on my hand again; the task to shoot her on mind. Earning back my energy, I use help from my knee to stand up. My sight has kind of blurred—probably the aftershock of kneeling on the floor to get the gun and standing up with the feeling of heaviness on my body. Yet, my eyes have still spotted the Stiff slouching on the door of my apartment—where I pushed her. She can't keep her eyes open. The more she attempts to do so, the more they close.

Soon, all I hear is her breaths. The strands of her hair cover her face and her hands fall weakly on the surface. I see a hint of her eyes striving to look at me but all that's left in her vision is the barrel of the gun while the rest of my features are no longer there.

Finally, I can continue with my last count. Perhaps she won't be preventing this time anymore for with what I can see, she's lost her oomph to throw herself on me. And if ever that is what she's thinking to do right now, she won't stand a chance.

Because I'd hit her bullet to the head.

"Bye, Stiff." Once again, I curl a finger around the trigger. The count continues.

_Four._

"Tris!"

And then, just like that, my head automatically whirl to its right and I see Tobias running en route to us to stop me; to _save _her.

My hands shake when I thought of him reaching me and snatching the gun away from me. But I won't let that happen. Especially now. Before he could fight the time, she's gone.

Tobias pushes me so the bullet won't attain her in any parts of her body. Yet we both hear the eerie sound of the pistol even before he could stop it.

He was too late.

_I shot her._

**A/N: To tell you honestly, it takes me a lot of tries to have an author's note that doesn't sound awkward. ('cause I really suck at it :D) **

**But anyway, your reviews about Chapter 28 made giggle; glad you liked it! What happens to Tris is what you'd find out on the next update.**

**Till the next chapter, **

**Iris Molefoursted **


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Chapter Thirty: You **_**Will **_**Live**

**Tobias's POV**

My heart stops beating with a mouth that falls open when I see the gun pointed at Tris as though the aim is her chest. For a fraction of seconds I stand there frozen, hoping that this is all just a dream. But the finger around the trigger has almost moved that I automatically blurt out her name,

"Tris!"

The moment Eliza shifts her head to her right; I was already drinking the distance between us as if it's a small glass of water. The first thing that entered my mind was to push her with such force so she, with the pistol, will be thrown away on the ground. But the precise second before I could shove her, I feel cold sweat begins to cover me. I've heard a piercing bang stormed out from the pistol like the firecrackers that make your heart pound. And in that instant, my attention quickly left Eliza so I didn't see how exactly she fell. My world feels like it just fall apart when I switch my concern to Tris—strands of her blonde hair covering her face, one leg tucked beneath the other leg, and blood spattered from her flesh on her clothes.

I crouch beside her to slip an arm on the back of her neck while the other one is underneath the back of her knee. I press her against my chest and shake her body, assuming she would open her eyes even just a bit.

"Tris, Tris," I keep saying, "Tris!"

However, the more I shake her, the lesser something happens. I peek over my shoulder to check if Eliza is still there but I see no more sign of her; even the gun. But she is not my personal worry right now. Tris is _dying _in my arms. I _need _to bring her at the infirmary now—as in now. So I stand up from where I crouch and run fast as I can for I never know how deep Tris' wound is. When I arrive at the Pit, my head twirls from left to right as though I'm paranoid of where the infirmary is. I know where that is, I know where it is! Maybe I'm just being panicky that I don't know which path I should take.

Eventually, I have worn back my senses. On my way to the infirmary, I spot familiar faces on the corner of my eyes yet I am too preoccupied that I don't think of checking if they might be Tris' friends. But when I have reached the door of the infirmary, there are voices echoing Tris' name.

"_Tris?" _a male voice says.

"Oh my God! It's her!"

"Tris!"

I use my back to push the door open and insert me and Tris in. Instantly, the Dauntless doctor, Vita shows a face of alarm and goes right away to us.

With a slurred voice, she asks me, "What happened?"

"She's been shot." Considering my brief answer, my goal right now is to find a bed where I can lay Tris on. I bypass Vita to scan the room in order to find Tris a place and as I do, the door storms open and a group of people who are about three talks in chorus.

"Tris!" this time, I realize it's Marlene, who has creased eyebrows paired with a jaw open.

"F-Four, how did this…" Christina steps closer to Tris so she'd be able to see where she's been hit but abruptly, Vita enters the scene and tell us, "She wouldn't be okay if she remains that way." Vita peeks over her shoulder to call the nurses for assistance.

"But I'm a nurse too!" Christina exclaims. "I can… I can…"

"Chris," Will pats her on the back. "Let's just allow them to do their job. Tris will be fine."

Will wraps his arms around Christina as Christina presses her face on his chest. Marlene finds a space where they could sit as a nurse transfer Tris from my arms to his arms. Vita, with the nurses, goes straight forward to the emergency room where they're going to settle Tris. I try to come with them but Vita stops me by the door with a palm facing me.

"We couldn't let anyone in unless she's stable. So what you have to do for a while is to take a seat and relax."

"Wh-"I try to say but my sentence changes. "_Relax? _Her life's at stake!"

"We _know_ that, Four. That's why we're going to do our best to save her life."

"But—"

"You'd find out her condition soon."

And before I could protest some more, the door has swung closed. I stand there for a fraction of seconds with an exhausted face and at the same time, desperate to have a peek of what's going on inside. But I guess they took Tris in a cubicle wherein nobody can watch how they restore her body so I just arrive on the decision of taking a seat with her friends. Marlene is staring at nowhere, Christina lays her head on Will's shoulder while Will rubs the back of her girlfriend.

I occupy the space between Will and Christina that causes for Christina to suddenly look at me with worried eyes. She swallows hard before asking me, "How did she get hit?"

I bend my back, settle my arms on my hips, and clear my throat. "I don't know how it all exactly started but I just saw Tris lying insensible on the floor while… while Eliza's pointing a gun on her direction."

I try to keep my voice steady despite of the situation but every time the image of Tris being so pale as though she's lost a shitload of blood enters my mind, I think I might croak.

"If something bad happens to Tris," Christina curses. "She will pay."

But on my side, I'm not just angry on Eliza for what's done to Tris. I'm also angry for everything else that she did, considering of spilling my secret in public. Perhaps she had a way of earning my trust two years ago and foolish I believed that she's worth that trust. But somehow, I was right for not letting her in of my fear landscape. There were times before when I asked myself if I should allow her go through it with me because I was being unfair but now… she has proven to me that she doesn't deserve to see my fear landscape.

"Are you… are you and Eliza…" Will finds a cozy position as Christina remains her head on his shoulder. "Over?"

Marlene and Christina switch their stares on me yet not in the way of blaming me for something; for this. They look at me as though they are enthusiastic to know.

"Yes," I reply, my eyes focused on the wall opposed me. "I decided to break up with her."

Marlene bows her head for a second but looks back at me after. As we remain waiting for Vita to come out from the emergency room with the news, it seems like these three former initiates still see me as their instructor. But with this kind of situation, we're like—no, we _are _four people who worry so much about Tris and are hoping that she would survive. When Vita finally meets us, she would tell us for sure how bad Tris was shot and if she will live.

_She has to live. She hasn't heard me say I love her yet. She needs to know it._

"Does Eliza know about you? I mean… the…"

With a bored tone, I say, "Yes. She knew about it." But I'm really not bored or uneasy around these former initiates. I just don't want to recall what she did to me over and over again for it makes me want to punch the wall. Not to mention when Marcus's face will suddenly emerge in my memory and the beatings that he did will follow. As much as possible, I try to avoid his image.

"And she was the one who revealed all of it?" Christina asks her voice muffled from crying earlier. "If so, how did she do it?"

"In case you aren't aware… she was a former Erudite."

"O-oh," Marlene says with a hush sound. "I didn't think of that. She doesn't act like one. Will was also a former Erudite but at least, he still has on it on him although he's now Dauntless."

I slowly nod. "I bet that was the reason why she left the compound beforehand. To go to the Erudite headquarters. To talk with the newspaper staff. To command them in printing my past for everyone to know."

While I say these things, I am not asking for pity. But rather I let them know about it because there's no reason to hide these inside me. I _am _mad. And I feel like I want them to somehow sense it because this is not a joke. It's also funny how it all came together in one point, you know. Tris is fighting for her life inside the emergency now. I keep on flashing back to how the blood was spattered from her flesh. The color of it makes me sick; makes me think that it was serious.

But… _no_.

Tris is strong. She is brave. She _will _survive this and I believe in her.

"She's ridiculous." Marlene comments. "What on earth is she thinking to cause these tragedies? Does she still even think straight?"

"She might have been too bounded by intelligence before she became Dauntless." Will inserts. "Or… if that's really the case."

"Where did she go after hitting Tris?" Christina inquires. "She better not show up again or else."

"When I checked my back, she was gone. I didn't come to look for her anymore since Tris was awful. And I don't want to think about her."

Christina clears her throat and I feel her staring at me through the corner of my eyes. I'm guessing she has something to say but I just let her find her moment to spill it out. After a while of watching me, she finally speaks.

"You think she'll be alright, don't you?"

I tilt my head downward to release a small sigh, then after that I look at Christina over my shoulder.

"Yes I do," I say positively. "She's Dauntless."

Christina smiles a little but I know that she's also half-crestfallen. Although she was the first transfer I spotted as annoying on the first day of initiation, I knew she's the kind of friend who won't just leave Tris behind. She might be smart-mouth who has an opinion on everything but at least, she doesn't deceive Tris.

Silence embraces us when nobody says a thing after a minute. All that we can hear is the sound that it produces which is surprisingly peculiar and the manner Christina breathes after letting out of her emotions. We wait for about fifteen more minutes for Vita to finally meet us and inform us about Tris' condition. After those fifteen, still, no one storms out from the emergency room. I am bowing my head as my arms remain settled on my hips and my back stays bended. In my mind, I imagine Tris being fine and that she can smile nevertheless of her state. But other than that, I imagine her moving free around the compound again as a Dauntless member for to me, she's the definition of a _real_ person.

The four of us continue to wait although we can't tolerate it if it'd take another fifteen minutes. But suddenly, and _finally_, the spell was broken when the door of the emergency room flies open, revealing Vita with a folder tucked on her arm. I was awakened from my thoughts about Tris that I lift my head to see Vita who wears a nervous expression of her face. This makes me think that something is _not _good.

"How is her?" I try to search for the instant result in her eyes but I won't know unless she says it herself. "How serious is her condition?"

"Is she going to be okay?" Christina still sounds as though she just came from crying.

Vita releases a hard breath as she watches our faces one by one. It takes her a portion of seconds before answering so I repeat my question with more emphasis this time.

"_How is Tris?"_

And finally, she doesn't make us wait any longer. I hold my breath as she parts her lips to announce,

"Tris. She's… she's…."

**A/N: Tadaaaaaaa! I decided to keep some thrill with a cliffhanger since I have reached my goal for every chapter: 2K words. So, where do you think Eliza will end up? Will Tris live? (Ignore the title of this chapter. ;) Tobias does believe that she will.) And will Tobias be able to tell Tris that he loves her for the second time since she hasn't heard him before? We'd find it out!**

**On the other hand, here are the songs that I was listening at as I wrote this chapter:**

_**Your Guardian Angel **_**by **_**The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**_

_**IRIS **_**by **_**Goo Goo Dolls**_

_**Look After You **_**by **_**The Fray**_

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	31. Chapter Thirty One

**A/N: My apologies for not updating yesterday! I was on the midst of writing this chapter when I had a headache so I couldn't think straight. But anyway….. Here's what you're all waiting for! : )**

**Chapter Thirty One: There I Said It**

**Tobias's POV**

I curl my hand into a fist to keep it from shuddering while Vita goes direct to the point on the last second.

"She's… sleeping now."

"Thank God," Christina swears under her breath. "Thank God she's safe."

When I look at Will and Marlene, they are as happy as Christina. I knew I am also relieved for Tris has survived but… is that what Vita really _meant _by sleeping? My heart begins racing when the idea that she might mean something else, arrived my mind. She didn't look pleasured when she announced the news. What could that be?

"It's not how you think" she says with weight. "About what I said."

The smile on their faces faded in an instant as I finally speak again, "What do you _mean_?"

"Tris was shot on the side of her belly. You may think it's just a minor case but when we removed the bullet from her body, we figured out that there had been a possibility that she's hit on the liver—which is worse. She was lucky enough that it didn't reach that point and her good stamina has been an advantage for her to overcome the process."

Marlene releases a breath of precise relief. "She's still alive."

She and Christina exchange beams to each other as though they weren't so afraid earlier. Will looks at my way and he nods at me when I meet his stare. I went to turn in Vita's direction again yet I couldn't help but to glance at the emergency room, wanting to see Tris by now. But like what she has just said, she is sleeping.

"When can we see her?" I take my attention back to Vita's face.

"I'd let you see her when she wakes up. As of now she needs to have time for rest since the gunshot had an impact in her energy. Perhaps an hour could wait."

"Oh, we don't mind as long as she's safe." Marlene says

Vita nods. "I'll just be on my office. I'd check on her again after a couple of minutes and if you have a concern, you know where I am."

When Vita has gone, Marlene instantly turns to the three of us with palms lifted in our way. "Wait here. I'd call the others."

None of us speaks and neither has she waited for any. The moment the door has closed behind her, Christina opens the subject about Tris' recent form.

"Uriah would be so worried when he finds out about this." Her tone is back to normal. "Just last week it was him who got here in the infirmary. Now it's Tris."

To me, this may be a little awkward. How do I act when these two talk about the couple? Just sit here as though I cannot hear them? Wouldn't that be too obvious? True. Uriah is guaranteed to be bothered about Tris' situation for he is her boyfriend and _a good _boyfriend does his part of taking care of his girlfriend when she's not feeling well. If that is the case, I may not have the chance to do it for Tris myself. It might also be a brotherly act for some but I _want _to be the one feeding her with soup or entertaining her with a conversation as she remains confined here in the infirmary. But when Marlene and the rest have arrived, and I saw Uriah, I knew he'd be the one doing that for her.

"What did the doctor say?" Uriah worries as the four of them sit opposed to us. "Is she going to be alright?"

"Yes, yes, I just told you, right?" Marlene says. "Tris is going to fine. She's just having some rest by now but we could see her when she wakes up."

"That's good." Zeke nods in unison. "If she's been shot somewhere else beyond the belly… man, that's what's bad."

"Exactly what the doctor said." Will inserts. "She was lucky the bullet didn't go straight for her liver."

Uriah sighs and moves from time to time. As I observe him, it's pretty evident that he cannot think straight. I don't know why also but although none of these are aware about my feelings for Tris, something in here is still unusual. Perhaps it's the fact that they have read the news and they witnessed me bringing Eric down and now we're all in the same room as if none of those happened few hours ago. But just when I thought that they have put that thought aside for a while, Shauna breaks the silence to ask me, "Four… how about you? How are you feeling?"

I knew she isn't referring to how I am feeling about Tris. She means to mention about the newspaper and my current fight with Eric. As much as I want to forget that even just for ten minutes, they're still going to point it out anyway.

"Still feeling like myself." I stare at the door of the emergency room. "Not how I _was_."

"Marcus really did that on you?" I turn my attention back at them and I reckon it's Lynn who inquired me. "When our father is angry, I try to protect my brother, Hector from him as much as possible. I don't mean to say he's brutal but sometimes when people are angry, they do things they don't intend to do so."

"Marcus _did _intend to do those." I speak for my behalf. "He should have stopped when he saw me enclosed with injuries caused by his belt. But that wasn't where it ends."

"The… the cabinet." Marlene cautiously mentions. "He'd put you in a cabinet… right?"

I hope I could ignore the question so I could also ignore the awful images processing in my memory for the hundredth time. Marcus would curl a hand on the sleeve of my shirt as I whimper and brings me to the old wooden cabinet—one of the scariest places that I know. He'd push me inside as the belt remains on his hand so if I attempt to escape, he could prevent me with doing so. But no matter how many times escaping arrived in my mind as an option, I've only done it when I turned sixteen.

"Yes, the cabinet."

They don't utter a word but I hear them make sounds of consideration. I guess that's much better than pity for I don't like being pitied on.

"We don't see you differently, Four." Zeke assures me. "Each one of us here had the right to be scared. _You _had that right."

Later, when the worries and questions have passed, Vita finally goes to check on Tris again. As we wait for her to come out from the emergency room to confirm if Tris is already awake or not, they are asking one another of who would have the first turn to see Tris. My first guess was Christina since she's the best friend while the second one is Uriah since he's the boyfriend. I don't put myself on the third guess for it's not less likely but all of a sudden… I hear my name.

"Four," Christina gestures to me. "You _should _see Tris first."

And in the midst of silence, the seven of them look at one another as though they know something that I do not. I just remain seated as I watch them exchanging those types of looks when soon; Marlene breaks the spell to tell me the same thing.

"Really Four, you shall be first."

Correct me if I'm wrong but this is… _odd_. Uriah is _here_. Why would they tell me to go first if the boyfriend is here and was so worried about his girlfriend? And you know what the stranger thing is? Uriah's not protesting. He seems as if it's no big deal for him that he even turns to face me and say, "You must be the one that she wants to see when she's awakened."

And just when I'm about to _remind _him that he's the one carrying the title as the patient's boyfriend, Vita steps out of the emergency room with a smiling face.

"She's awake."

Their voices begin to echo in my head.

_You should see her first. You must be the one that she wants to see when she's awakened._

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

Vita said they have removed the bullet out from my body when they got me here in this cubicle. Yet, it still feels as though the bullet remains. Every small move I try to make just causes for my body to ache. She was right. It had an impact on my actions. But when she told me that my friends are here to see me, I don't mind about the pain. She left to call my first visitor and when the door has been shut from the bed I'm lying at, I couldn't help but to wonder who would that be. Is it Christina? Probably yes. I imagine her insisting the others to give her the first turn to meet me alone although I can receive two visitors. I think she would query me a lot about how these happened to me and when I tell her the details, she would lecture me about them.

But if it's not going to be Christina, the next possibility is Marlene. Or I don't know. All I want is to see who'll be entering that front door. And finally, as if they have heard me guessing mentally, I hear the door creak open. There's a sudden hint of alarm sent in my nerves that I tilt my head to have a look of who just entered. If this was Christina who came, I'd possibly find myself smiling up to her. If this was Will who came, of course I'd be returning his warm greeting on my direction. But the case is… none of my guesses are correct.

Since this is _Tobia_s, my heart is beating fast right now.

I watch him as he gets himself a chair from the corner of the room. He settles it down right beside my bed and there he takes a seat with an immediate gaze on my face.

At first I thought I may not be able to say anything since what I knew is that he wasn't aware about this. But with ease, he locks his eyes on me and say,

"How do you feel right now?"

I have this suspicion that if I part my lips to speak, the pain in my body will start all over again. Yes I know it's a silly idea but I'm cautious of it. However, this is _him. _And I knew that when I'm with him, everything's going to be okay. At least in this room… _we are_. That's what he told me the night we're alone in the training room.

"I ache when I make a few actions… like angling my body… or planting a hand on my belly without intending to…"

"You were so reckless." He says. "And you know that."

Just when he begins talking like that, I realize that by this moment, I am not speaking to Tobias. This person in front me is, no doubt, not Tobias Eaton. This is _Four_.

And I am Tris when I protest, "How could you say I'm reckless?"

"Tell me what you call the unarmed person who encounters with someone holding a gun."

When I figure out that I have no answer to that, I return the sentence on him. "How about the one throwing off a knife on the ear of a girl?"

With that, he starts defending himself.

"That's out of the question. And that's an instructor thing. The focus here is you, Tris. You had no any weapon with you."

"I know," I say matter-of-factly. "What I didn't know was that she had a gun."

"And what was taught on you even when you don't have a gun? What's the Dauntless rule, _Stiff?_"

This is really Four talking. Always an instructor.

"Well… to fight. To use the body as a resource. To act in response although you got no weapon."

"Right." He utters. "And did you do it?"

"Of course!" I exclaim, and when my I realize that my voice has been too loud, I slow down to my normal tone. I wasn't even really shouting. "She revealed your past, Four."

"_Tobias," _he corrected.

"Tobias, yeah… she didn't think of what may happen right after everybody finds out about your childhood. And I… I was present when there has been a scene between you and Eric at the Pit.

"That's because he insulted me." He suddenly becomes cold. "He only knew me by newspaper. He has no idea about the rest."

I lift my eyes down to the blanket for a portion of seconds then look back at him. "What about Eliza?" there's a short pause before I continue, "How well does she know about it to have the news about you printed that way?"

Tobias searches for my eyes and says nothing right ahead. When our gazes have met on one point, he clears his throat. "She doesn't actually know about it."

I thought I was hearing random things all at once that his sentence turned out as jigsaw of words. Yet when I furrow my eyes, he repeats himself with a further explanation.

"Eliza just heard the details, Tris. _I just told her. _But you…"

He bends his back forward and laces his hand on my right hand which isn't connected with dextrose. I gaze down to our holding hands then meet his eyes.

"You've seen it." He tells me. "You've seen my fear landscape and she hasn't."

And I was right. I have received his message this morning. I _am _the girl that he was talking about. But hearing it directly right from him is another story for me and thinking about him saying it to me again makes my stomach lurch.

For a brief moment I supposed I am frozen and that the ache of my body has faded. I want to say something but I can sense that I will stutter; yet at the same time Tobias is looking at me _right now _with those eyes that are making me lost. But I am _not _lost for words. I am lost for focus. When the silence doesn't falter, I eventually arrive to the senses of responding.

"So… so you mean to say that… that I am the girl… the girl you're sure you trust?"

"If you have felt that I was sending you a message this morning… that is exactly what I meant to tell you. But I already told you about it at the Chasm, right? You didn't just… get it."

I face palm myself on my mind. All this time he was talking about that girl, I didn't know that it was _me? _Instead, I was so assured that it was somebody else and I assumed that he has met her in Abnegation. I flashback to that night at the Chasm. He was telling me that that girl is different. _I am different. _He was telling me that at first he thought she has nothing inside her but sooner, he discovered that she is something. _I am something. _But he doesn't think that she knows it. _I don't know about it. _

But now I do.

"And… and I am the… the… _special _girl that you're… you're—"

He laughs. "Does that need to be questioned?"

"Well I…" I slightly look away. "I… had no idea."

And then, just like that, he becomes serious again. I am not looking at him but rather at the bed opposed mine. Yet nonetheless of that, I know that his focus is just on me.

"It's you." He mutters. "It's _always _been you."

This sentence of him causes for me to tilt my head back at him. Our hands remain laced. I rub the back of his hand just like the way I did when we were at the training room and the soothing feeling is still there. It, too, has always been there.

"I've said this before, Tris, but I'm certain you haven't heard it."

I blink. "Said… said what?"

He takes a second to look down to our holding hands which makes me think he does that to collect his thoughts. But it isn't. He _tightens _his hold instead.

He waves his eyes back on me.

"I love you."

Unlike before, I blink my eyes five more times. In case I've just read Tobias's mouth wrong, I can still remind myself that I was only dreaming and he never said those words. But no. He recognizes the look on my face that he immediately copes up to explain himself.

"I know," he says. "This might be silly because you have a boyfriend and we're all just in the same compound. But I figured out that there might not be any more opportunities for me to let you know about this so I let it out."

And when he says that, the nerves inside me begin making chaos, commanding me to tell him now. Tell him the _truth _now. Tell him so he'd no longer think that all of this is silly because for me it makes perfect sense.

"Tobias," I bite my lower lip. He doesn't echo anything; rather he just lifts his brows to tell me that he's listening. "About that. About… Uriah… and me." I swallow. "It was… it was just all pretend."

**A/N: I didn't kill Tris guys! : ) I was reading your reviews yesterday and a lot of you thought she might die. No she won't, of course. But as you can see, I left another cliffhanger wherein Tobias has found out about the truth. How he reacts is what you'd know on Chapter 32!**

**And as always, I'm thanking YOU all a lot for reviewing. Your reviews always give me a positive energy so thank you so much!**

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted **


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

**Chapter Thirty Two: Hold Me**

**Tobias's POV**

Before I knew it, the grip on our hands has lessened. My fingers slide within the spaces on her fingers until our hands are separated. She gulps for air as she waits for what my reaction would be. But neither do I know what the appropriate way to react is. All this time that I thought they are together… it's just all _pretend_?

Without intending so, I sound a bit ironic. "So that's why…"

"What do you mean that's why?"

"That's why your friends were interacting through eye contact earlier; deciding of who shall see you first. And they picked me. But Uriah didn't protest at all. That's _what_ I mean."

She gulps for another air before saying, "Yes… it all started after Eliza attacked me at the Chasm. It was… Marlene's idea at the first place."

Just like my position outside the emergency room, I bend my back forward and settle my arms down on my hips. If I would take this confession at low cost, I'd probably consider this as a matter of wasting my trust. But I won't. She owes me an explanation of why did they have to pretend.

"Marlene thought that… that if you and Eliza see that I'm with someone, none of you would think otherwise anymore. In that way, too, Eliza might just mind her own business and leave me alone."

"And when do you act that way?"

She moistens her lips as though she could keep a steady sound when she does. "Whenever either you or Eliza is around. But when you're both nowhere to be seen… nothing is up between me and Uriah. Just the normal thing. Friends."

I let a fraction of seconds pass before bowing my head. Not because I see her as a liar. Not because I take this as big deal. But rather because I flashback to all the acting that they have done whenever they're sure I could see them. I still remember the day when we played shooting paint balls while Tris and Uriah were just a few feet away from me. Their voices were evident when they said I love you to each other in a manner that has convinced me that they are for real. And now, after all these things, I _just _found out about the truth.

I don't know for how long I am bowing my head. A minute or two maybe. When I remain that way after a long while, Tris must have thought of it as something else so she speaks.

"Yes I know it's… foolish. And I wasn't even aware… aware about how you feel… for me."

I say nothing. I just allow my head to remain bowed for I know she has more to say and with that, I'd listen.

"I thought you don't care at all. I mean… I thought even when I try to act like a real girlfriend to Uriah… it won't even make much sense because… it's just nothing for you. I was even thinking maybe you'd see me as tragic."

Still, I say nothing. I just let her pour all the words inside her that she longs to release.

"And I figured out that… I really am tragic." She inhales then exhales. "And if I would be a girlfriend, I'm sure it's going to be bad. That's not a question."

In my mind, I'm already laughing. As a matter of fact, at this moment that I'm bowing my head, I'm just holding back my laughter. Tris thinks she'd be a _bad _girlfriend? If none of these is just a joke, I'd probably nod in unison. But she has no any idea that ever since I saw the two of them sitting side by side and being gooey at the dining hall, I wanted to be the one playing the role as her boyfriend.

And then finally, I can't take it anymore. I lift my head with a snort and a boyish grin yet to cover it, I give a jokey comment.

"Well I could train you on that."

She furrows her eyes and say, "On what?"

I chuckle. "On being a good girlfriend."

And then, with her constant arm, she punches me playfully on the chest. We both laugh.

"But really… Stiff, you acted well." The laughter has subsided. I search for her eyes and when I found them I don't let go. "If it had been the other way, I wouldn't care."

"Oh, Tobias…" she mutters. Soothingly, she runs her fingers through my cheek. "I love you too."

On the last second that she said her next sentence; her voice has become more hush. But my focus shifts from her eyes onto her lips that although she hasn't said it clearly, I've read her message.

"Say that again?"

She continues rubbing my cheek. "I love you, too."

I seize her hand on mine and trail it with soft kisses until her knuckles giggle. I rise from where I am sitting and leans down closer to her face. She seals her eyes as I leave a kiss on her nose and a peck on her lips. The same urgent electricity that I felt on having her lips against mine when I caught her from falling on the ladder is still there.

"I'll be coming back tonight." I assure her. "That's a promise."

She looks up to me. "Where're you going?"

"I'd let you know when I come back."

She blinks those beautiful blue eyes where I always spot the hint of innocence, selflessness and bravery. Until now, even when we've already told each other about how we feel, there's still this part of me that gets nervous; most especially when we are this close. And like what I've told her at the Chasm, nobody has ever made me feel this way before.

I guess the only one who can give you this kind of feeling is, truly, the person you're sure you love.

Xxxx

Before I shut the door of the infirmary, I make sure there's no mark of evidence on my face that states about what happened inside. Christina is here. One good act of anxiety will be suspected and so I wear on a composed expression. The seven of them is now five. I watch their faces to see who are missing then I find Shauna and Uriah's seats empty.

"They just get some snacks." Marlene says. "How is Tris?"

"She's okay. Only when she performs a minor action does her body aches."

Christina nods. "Let's go and see her, Mar?"

"Uh…" Marlene glances at the entrance. "Won't we wait for Shauna and Uriah?"

"Oh, you're just waiting for the food." Lynn jokingly comments.

Christina escapes laughter. "Right. C'mon, Mar. Let's see Tris."

Marlene pouts on Lynn's direction then jump from her stool. Vita shows on the right time from her office so the two of them told her that it's their turn. When I push the door of the infirmary open, it's the same time when Shauna and Uriah come out of the dining hall. The door swung closed behind me as I begin leaving the place. It's been a long time now since I got another tattoo. During the days when I and Eliza were still together, she always insists me to get a new tattoo matched with hers. She says it's a couple thing. But I never did so. It is only now that we're over that I'm finally going to get my new tattoo.

When I arrive at the tattoo parlor, it's surprising that there're only two customers. Usually, there are five or more than that; Dauntless members who want to be covered in tattoos. And what grabs my attention more is when nobody shoots me the same kind of look that I received this morning when the news came out. With hands on my pockets, I approach Tori's booth.

"Where're the others?"

Tori is creating tattoo on a Dauntless girl, whom I bet is five feet flat when she stands on her feet. As I perceive her working on the girl's forearm, I get the clue that this tattoo might be a combination of names since I can't find the meaning itself.

"Less customers today," Tori says as she polishes the tattoo to an end. "Are you going to be my customer after this?"

I nod. "Sure."

In less than five minutes, Tori's done with the Dauntless girl. She asks me to have a seat on the customer chair and so I did. As she assembles her tools, I'm glad that she doesn't try to open the conversation about the newspaper this morning. I'm certain she has read it. Of course, everyone has. Whatever reason is it of why she doesn't talk about it, I am obliged. However, she must have known about what happened to Tris.

"Have you seen Tris, Four?" she asks just exactly when I'm about to tell her. "She's supposed to have a shift today with me."

I look at her through one of the mirrors in her cubicle. "She's in the infirmary."

With pairs of needles on her hand, she peeks at me over her shoulder. "_What happened?_"

Considering that nobody has heard the bang of the pistol, it states the fact that Eliza's apartment is located beyond the Pit. So to speak, if I hadn't decided to haunt for her so I could confront her, I wouldn't have seen her pointing the gun to Tris and she would have shoot her on something worse like the heart or the skull.

I tell Tori the summary of the story and right after that, she hoped she could leave work for a while to visit Tris.

"That's not a problem." I say. "You're not going to be lost for a week."

Soon, when the conversation has subsided, Tori settle her tools on a small table. She wears the latex gloves on her hands then put the ink on a piece of cardboard that's easy for her to reach. Next, she sanitizes the needle and boils it in water for about five minutes. After those five, she wipes it down with rubbing alcohol.

"What do you want your tattoo to be like?" she inquires with a light tone.

I have thought about this even before I arrived here. Now I'm sure with it.

"Two guns intersecting on my left forearm."

And that means me and Tris; will protect each other at any cost.

Xxxx

That night, by six thirty p.m., I remind myself about the promise that I gave to Tris; that I'd be coming back tonight. I just had a dinner with Lauren which lasted for about twenty minutes. We discussed a few about the newspaper this morning. She poured all her anger for Eliza through words by cursing her to be thrown away from here. But sooner, the subject has changed. I didn't tell her yet about what's going on between me and Tris although I've told her that she's brought to the infirmary. And speaking of that, I must be on my way there now. Zeke and the rest are still having dinner on their usual table so therefore, nobody is accompanying Tris. The nurses aren't also aware of who has caused the incident on her so if it happen that Eliza loses her mind again and go to meet Tris just to fire another scene; Tris won't be able to defend herself. In case something bad happens, I must be sure that I am at her side.

The Dauntless nurse that I met wearing her hair on a messy bun instantly reminds me that Tris has been transferred into a different room this afternoon. She gives me a ten-second instruction of where the room is located and when I have it in memory, I prolong to the corridor.

I stand before a door with the label, _Rm106. _At first, I thought I went to the wrong room since I've heard voices inside like two people talking. The nurse didn't tell me if someone has recently visited Tris or if someone is _currently _on visit. But this is not the wrong room. _Rm106_, she said. So to bug my speculation off at last, I knock on the door three times and slowly twist the knob open.

When I tilt my head inside, I realize that I was really hearing two people talk lately. Uriah is sitting on a stool beside her bed.

**A/N: Hey guys! There's a question behind Uriah being inside Tris' room and what they were talking about. That's what's to look for on Chapter 23! Meanwhile, I'd like to give a shoutout to these following people who give me pleasure through reading and reviewing:**

_**(Not in particular order)**_

_**tamani7, SammiDivergentFan, kassoug4, SyrezeDF, book weirdo, Pryy(Guest), moveslikemarie, fourtris17(Guest), CandororDauntless, Tris Prior Tobias Eaton, jeeihnkimmy, rachealmonster18, TobiasLover4Ever, jealoustobias, I 4 MARK, Tobystalker, Jasminecakelover (Guest), Sarah (Guest), ImJustAwesome, Rhianna218, aiko3koutaforever, musicisloveandlife, IAmDivergent246, Jacobias Melldeen Trisary, All I Want Is To Be Wanted, heroherondaletotheresuce, Solikerez, yolopgurl, 13, , kitkat2000, divergent is pi. **_

_**Thank you to all of you! **_

**And to the **_**Guest **_**who also reviews, please tell me your name. I'd like to thank you for your reviews. : )**

**That's all for today! Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

**Chapter Thirty Three: I am His and He is Mine**

**Tris' POV**

"Four already knew about it." I told Uriah, "About our charade as a couple. I just thought it won't go far anymore."

"Oh," he didn't look so surprised. "So… where does that leave the two of you?"

I stare up the ceiling with lips slightly parted then turns to face him again. "He told me how he feels for me. But I didn't have any idea that he's been feeling that way for so long now."

He nods. "And you love him too, right?"

"Yes," I mutter. "I told him that."

Uriah gives me a small smile before tilting his head on the side. Primarily, I can't tell if something is wrong for an awkward silence suddenly gathers around us in the room. His face is composed and it's bothering me. This is not the Uriah that I know.

"What's the matter?" I try to ask casually.

He bows his head for a while but looks at me afterwards. "I also have something to tell you, Tris."

I gulp for air then moisten my lips before saying, "What is it?"

He rubs his palms against each other nervously and he does that for a long while. I allow him to maintain that pause for he might be collecting his thoughts. But soon, he still says nothing.

"Uriah, what do you—"

"Tris," he finally sounds ready. "I… I like Marlene. I mean… she's fun to have around and she's really nice… but…"

"But?"

"But…" he rubs his palms again. "My feelings for you are another story."

For a portion of seconds I lay there frozen as though this is new to me. But there's a part of me that knew this is coming since he kissed me at the dining hall. Now, I can't believe that he just confessed right to me.

"I think I've been feeling this way for you even before initiation has ended. And… maybe this is one of the reasons why I… why I didn't refuse to play the sham with you. Because I wanted to be closer to you. I wanted to be something more to you. I want to…"

"Uriah," My lips remain parted when I realize that I don't know what to say at all. One of my friends just confessed that he loves me! Or… maybe he didn't say it. But I know that that's what he meant and I don't want to hurt him in this case.

"Look Tris," he finds a cozy position on the stool. "I'm not saying this to ruin what you and Four have now. I know that… you love each other and it's been a long way before you could tell each other about it. What I'm just trying to explain here is that…" He blinks a couple of times, "I feel the need to let you know about this. I don't want any more awkwardness. I don't want to see you and Four together while I still have these things inside me. And I… I want you to know that I'm not… I'm not going to insert myself between the two of you. I will remain as your friend. That'll never change."

And after that, I know that it's my turn to speak.

"I hate feeling this way, Uriah." I bluntly say, "I hate feeling like I'm throwing important people away. Which I do not. I just don't want you to expect more from me."

"You do not, Tris." He assures me. "I understand."

"No you don't." I response, "I want you to find the happiness that you deserve. I want you to find that lucky girl meant for you. If I could just drag myself off of here right away, I'd do that for you. Because you've done a lot for me, Uriah. You deserve so… so much more."

He chuckles. "C'mon Tris, I'm happy for you and Four. If only he hadn't met that Eliza? You two could have been together earlier."

In my mind, I am thanking Uriah. Not for what he said about Eliza. But for not expecting me to return the same feeling to him; for not throwing the pressure on me; for staying as the kind of friend anyone would be lucky to have; and for simply being Uriah.

When the conversation has subsided for a while, I hear the doorknob outside. I peek over Uriah's shoulder to see if the door will open and it does. Tobias tilts his head inside, looking as though he didn't expect that Uriah would be here. With no hesitation, Uriah turns his back to see him.

"Four," I greet with a smile. I know he always correct me to call him Tobias but me may feel anxious to be called that way as of now.

He angles the other half of his body and fully enters the room. When the door has clicked behind him, Uriah glances at me as if asking me what to do. But since I don't think there's a reason to be in panic, I just nod at him.

"Uh Tris… I shall go now. It's good to know you're alright. You take care, okay?"

I smile at him. "Yeah, sure."

I can sense that Uriah still feels edgy even when he rises from the stool. Tobias is leaning sideways on a wall as he watches the two of us. For some tall people, that kind of position will be awkward. But for Tobias, it doesn't. He doesn't look bulky. Instead, he gives that young and handsome impression.

"See you around, Four." Uriah has managed to sound steady when he turns to Tobias. "Uh… have you seen my brother and the rest, by the way?"

He nods. "They're at the dining hall right now."

"Thanks," he murmurs. Then for the last time, Uriah glances at me and waves. As a response, I say, "Bye Uriah."

Soon, when the door has closed again, it's just me and Tobias, few inches apart. I watch him as he remains standing by the wall like he doesn't have a plan of approaching me. He presses his arms against his chest and shoots me the look that only Four the instructor will give.

"What?" I say, when none of us utters a word in a minute.

I don't know what I expect for him to do; if he would walk out and take the exit for what he has seen, or if he would confront me about Uriah's visit. But the way his expression changes like a chasing car states the fact that it's no big deal for him. He releases himself from the wall and ambles toward my bed. He bypasses the stool as if it isn't there and goes straight to lean in my face. His actions are undefined that's why my eyes closed automatically when he crushes his lips against mine. This afternoon, it was just a peck. But this one… this kiss… it's more precise, more tender, and it lasts longer.

When he pulls away, he pay heed to the stool and sits. I wish he didn't have to break the kiss but we both needed air. He moves the chair closer to my bed and does the same position that he did this afternoon.

"Have you eaten?" he asks

"I haven't yet."

"So… what do you want? I'll get you something."

I take a little while to decide. There's a mini canteen here in the infirmary where I got soup for Uriah when he was the one confined. I had a brief taste of that soup when I ate with Christina but I never really had a bowl of my own.

"I want the soup that they have in here. Can you… get that for me?"

"Of course," he says. "What about a drink?"

"Just plain water will be fine."

"Okay," he straightens his body and rises. "Wait for me here."

"I'm not going anywhere." I say matter-of-factly. "Look,"

I shift my eyes down to where I'm lying to tell him that in my condition, I couldn't follow him to the canteen.

"I figured you might scratch the dressings in your hand, throw the dextrose stand on the floor, and drag yourself out of bed."

"And why would I do that?"

He shrugs. "Because you'd miss me right away when I get out of here."

I shoot him the evil's eyes. "You can do that now before I could throw a pillow on you."

He laughs. "I'll be right back."

And then he reaches for the door to leave.

Xxxx

Tobias has come back with the soup and water in less than five minutes. He brings down the glass on the bedside table then sits back on the stool. I reckon that the soup is still hot by its appearance but it doesn't seem like it with how Tobias holds the bowl.

"Is it hot?" I ask, "You're holding it like it's a bowl of ice cream."

"Not much," he dips the spoon to collect some soup then slightly blows it. "Here,"

I part my lips as he extends his back to reach me. The soup tickles my tongue for it's a little hot but it tastes so good. I wonder if they get the ingredients from Amity to make this kind of soup.

"I told Uriah that you already knew about our pretend." The soup has slowed down to my stomach but I can't tell if it has something to do with the sudden subject about Uriah. "I told him we don't have to do it anymore."

Tobias dips another spoon onto the bowl before answering, "What did he say?"

"Well… at first, he was nonchalant. I even thought that I've said something wrong so he suddenly fell silent. But… I realized that he was bothered."

He pauses with the spoon of soup on his hand and since I don't want it to grow warm, I ask him first to feed me with it. When I have swallowed it down again, I tell him about what Uriah has confessed to me.

"He told me that he has feelings for me." I bite my lower lip. "And when he said that… I… I didn't know how to response. So while I collect my thoughts, he put farther explanation about it. He said it's not his intention to… to ruin what _we _have now and… in return, I told him that I want him to find the girl right for him. Uriah's a very good friend of mine, you know. I'm so lucky to have a friend like that. He understood my point and said that… that he's happy for the two of us."

"You aren't just lucky for him. You're also lucky for Christina and the rest. You have very loyal friends."

I nod with a smile. "Yes… you're right."

"But what do you meant by _'us_', lately?"

Right after he asks that, I shoot him a look of disbelief. "_Us. _The two of us. We…"

"We? What are _we_?"

"_Four!_"

He laughs. "What? I'm just pointing out what you meant when you said 'us'. You even haven't answered me completely."

I crease my brows and scowl at him. "Do I still have to answer that completely? I thought you knew about it."

The boyish grin on his lips remains that although he's acting as annoying right now, I couldn't deny the fact that he looks so handsome.

"Knew about… what?" he acts innocently. "That… I'm your boyfriend?"

I roll my eyes on him. "If that's how you want me to call you."

I can see him smiling although I'm looking at the other wall. I can hear it in his voice when he says, "Yes. I want you to call me your boyfriend." But he grows serious when he continue with, "I want to be the one holding hands with you, kissing you goodnight before you sleep, playing with your hair in the morning, listening to you when you have a lot to say, embracing you when you feel weak, kissing your tears goodbye, carrying you when you can't make it along the way, and whispering I love you in your ear when you doubt the world."

This is not what I expected for him to say but nevertheless of that, his words swing like a song. I twirl my head around back at him and there I see the image of sincerity on his face. And in that moment, I know that I really love this guy.

"I meant all of it." He says.

_I know you do. _

"I love you, Tris."

_I love you, too._

Xxxx

Later, when I have finished the soup and have drunk the water from the glass, Tobias glanced at his watch and told me that it's already seven thirty five p.m. Although it's still early for him to leave, he told me that I need some rest after a long day.

"I'd come back tomorrow." He assures me. "Do what the doctor says so you can heal in less than two weeks."

It is when he stands with full composure that I just notice the new tattoo on his left forearm. I didn't see it immediately when he arrived since every move that he did hides it from me. But now it's caught my attention. This is probably the reason why he left this afternoon.

"What's that tattoo?" I ask, "Can I see it?"

He is bewildered at first but then I point on his forearm.

"Ah, this one." He shows it to me. "I just got this from Tori this afternoon when I left."

I stare at the two guns intersecting each other for a fraction of seconds but I didn't comprehend its meaning and why would he choose that as for a tattoo. When he notices that I'm confused, he explains it to me.

"This one…" he gestures to the first gun. "is you. Then this one…" he refers to the other gun. "is me."

My lips curve into a smile. "What does it mean to say?"

He inclines his head on my direction and locks his eyes on mine. "It means _us_… protecting each other…" and he returns the smile. "No matter what happens."

Then he toddles toward my bed again; only this time he isn't undefined anymore. I knew what he's going to do. He leans to my face and presses his lips against mine. He takes control of the kiss in a gentle way until it goes on for a longer while. He pulls apart—but not so much—and tells me, "I love you."

I look up to him and say, "I love you, too."

And he kisses me again. This time, it feels more familiar. Like we're meant to be. Like I am his, and he is mine.

When he pulls away for the second time, his eyes state that he doesn't want to go yet. But like me, he also has to rest. I just don't think he could attain that here in the infirmary, in that stool standing beside my bed. So for the last time before leaving, he positions my blanket to protect me in a better way. Then finally, after telling me goodbye and another I love you, he turns away to reach for the door.

Once he's gone, I think about the things that we talked about, and then drift off to sleep.

**A/N: This chapter is especially dedicated to **_**all **_**of you! It was fun to write since it's Four and Tris' moment. I hope you liked it. : )**

**We only have 426 days left for the Divergent movie and the third and final installment on the series will be released this September 2013! **

**That's all for today! Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

**A/N: Hey Divergent rebels! (I figured that Divergent fans are called that way. I think it sounds fierce.) I'm sorry for not updating in three days. I was both tired and busy and I didn't want to post a new chapter without thinking straight. SO, in this thirty-fourth chapter of **_**Way to You, **_**you're going to read about Eliza/Iris Caldwell for the last time through Tobias's POV. Also, by the end of this chapter, there's going to be another author's note from me wherein I'm going to ask for your opinions & I'd highly appreciate if you share yours. : )**

**Lastly, I suppose that this is the first time that I'm going to do this:**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; the terrific Veronica Roth does. **

**Enjoy reading! **

**Chapter Thirty Four: It's Over**

**Tobias's POV**

By ten a.m. in the morning, I am settled down to visit Tris in the infirmary. As I'm on my way there, I'm hoping she's getting better. There're some surprises that I prepared for her and there are a lot of things that I want us to do together. All of those will be granted once she can finally go back to normal and that, I hope, wouldn't get so far.

This is where I realize that I wasn't this _type _of boyfriend to Eliza before as much as I am now to Tris. I had a couple of tries in giving Eliza surprises and anything that she wants from me but that _was_ two years ago. I'm done with the days when she doesn't show any emotion of appreciation for what I do as a boyfriend. I'm done with the trying of finding what pleases her. And most of all, I'm done with the make-believe that she might be the one I could love and trust for a lifetime.

En route to the Pit where my destination is, she emerges from the opposite hallway. She carries two large bags; one that hangs on her shoulder; one that she holds with her hand. In that moment, I could wonder where she is going but I won't confirm if that's accurate because it's evident that she's leaving… already.

However, because I couldn't just forget what she did like chickenfeed, I intend to bypass her as though I didn't see her there. But it's clear to me that she doesn't have the same intention when she calls me by my nickname; her voice asking me for time. Time for what? Time to tell me goodbye and that she'd dismiss herself? Time to tell me sorry as if she just bumped me accidentally?

"Four, _please_."

When she says that word, I knew I don't trust her anymore. She's saying _please? _If this is just one of her many games, I'm not going to play a card. She has acted as strange as this before and there could be a possibility that she's doing it again to get what she wants. Well there, that wouldn't happen.

I haven't turned my back on her yet but I did pause for a portion of seconds. In my mind I'm telling her that I won't be wasting a five minutes of my life just to talk to her. But then, she called me by nickname again, this time with plead.

"I… I need to talk to you and… to Tris. I _want _to talk with the two of you before… before I leave."

With a bored expression, I answer, "What is that about?"

Although I am not facing her, I could imagine her searching for words through looking around the Pit as if it has a clue. Maybe this is impromptu. Maybe it didn't happen that she knew we're going to meet here. Maybe she didn't write a script about these so she'd know which lies to tell me when we talk. Yet still, if that is true, it won't convince me in trusting her again.

"It's about… about me."

_About you?_

"About who I… who I really am; of why I am like _this;_ of why I transferred here in Dauntless. You may… you may find me foolish for what I am saying right now but I think… I think it will make somehow sense."

"So that has to include me and Tris?"

"Yes," she answers right away. "So please don't think I want to talk to the two of you because I have another scheme to ruin. You see… I have packed my bags. I just need some time before leaving to have a word with you and… Tris."

And then finally, not because I'm already convinced, I turn around to face her. My throat tightens on the sight of her; on the sight of the person who exposed my past; of the person who has wasted my trust. At that instant I wish I could do something to express my anger for what she did—for _her _to be precise. I wish I could just think that she's Eric and I'd smack her but even when she stands in front of me now, I don't do so. I keep my hands in where they are and just swallow hard for they're the only options that I have.

"She's confined in the infirmary." I coldly tell her, "You _know _why."

She slowly nods. "Yes I do."

"You almost killed her. Maybe if I didn't arrive in the scene you could have had the time to choose on which part you want to hit her. Maybe you could have chosen her skull or her heart as your target. And if that is exactly what happened, the blame will all be yours."

"The blame _is _all mine now, Four." She says with eyes sealed. Then she opens then. "And that's what I want to tell you and Tris about. So… again… please. Let me… let me have the chance. This is… this is the last time that you would see me. I wouldn't cause any mess at the infirmary; you have my word. All I want is to _talk_."

Before I jump on making a decision, I first think of Tris' friends. If anyone from them is on visit right now and sees Eliza with me, it isn't impossible for them to think otherwise and accuse her for planning to harm their friend. If that would be Christina or Marlene, I now presume that that would be a total fight. Eliza hasn't reached Tris yet; she's already broken her leg. Christina is very pissed that she might grant that, especially if it's for her best friend. But just when I thought of Christina, I tilt my head onto the right direction—onto the clinic, to check if she is on shift.

There I see her sitting before the mahogany table, doing paper works. She might have been so focused that she didn't have the senses to lift her head which, of course, will cause for her to catch me talking to Eliza. And _if _giving Eliza the chance that she's asking for, that has to worth. This couldn't just be another trick.

Finally, after assuring that Christina couldn't see us, I turn my attention back on Eliza. I have made my choice.

"Follow me," I tell her.

Xxxx

Tris is playing with her fingers when I take the first step in of her room. Her face lightens up when she sees me which explains that somehow, she's starting to be better. That is good news on my part. I just don't know how her expression would change once Eliza comes in next after me.

"Hey," she says with the average tone. "The doctor talked to me just a few minutes ago. It's something about my condition."

I lean sideways on a wall that isn't that far from her and tries to keep a typical face. In a few seconds, Eliza will be entering the room. That is, I guess, why I fail in attaining to look composed. Tris surely has noticed that.

"Something's wrong?" she furrows her brows. "Are you just okay?"

I'm about to inform her that Eliza is here to have a fraction of time with us so she wouldn't get so surprised. But then, the moment I'm going to speak already, the door clicks open. Both I and Tris shift our eyes to the door and then there she is—there's Eliza, cautious of her sudden entrance. Immediately, I turn to look back at Tris to see her reaction and just like what I was expecting, she throws Eliza a glare as though asking her to get out of the room.

"What are _you _doing here?" is Tris' welcome sentence. "What do you want?"

Eliza looks at me as if I'm going to answer for her. I do not know what it that she really wants is; what I only know is that she's feeling the need to talk with us. I remain leaning sideways on the wall, looking bored. For a moment or two, Eliza remains standing by the door that I thought she might quit. But she doesn't. She toddles closer towards the bed where Tris is laying on and keeps her eyes on her as she pulls herself down the stool.

This is, I think, an odd scenario. Eliza sits there and looks at Tris as though she's an old good friend, checking how she is; when truth is, she is the reason why Tris is in this room. When none of them utters a word within the minute that follows, I decided to break the ice and push Eliza forward to her purpose.

"You said you want to tell us something, right?" I fly my arms against my chest. "Go on,"

I notice that Tris glances at me over Eliza's shoulder. I can't tell if she's trying to send me a message to drag Eliza away from her or if she's pissed with me for allowing Eliza to meet us. But sooner, before I could figure that out, Eliza has begun to talk.

"This is about me for doing the nasty things that I did. Not just to you, to Four, or to your friends. But I'd say that this includes the Dauntless."

As much as I'm expecting Tris to interrupt her, she doesn't. She might be scowling at Eliza for not liking to see her but once she jumps to the real start of her story, the crease on her brows has lessen.

"Eliza is not my real name." she begins, "I am truly… Iris… Iris Caldwell."

Like Tris, I am surprised with her revelation. Never before that I thought she has a name that's far related from the Dauntless name she's picked, Eliza. On the mention of her surname, likewise, I think she just might be inventing her own background to convince us. But then, as much as I could remember, she didn't mention any last name to me two years ago.

And that is where her true characters unfold.

Her story goes on with the statement about her parents, but for the most part, it was her father whom she's trying to emphasize. When she said that he was a very smart person, I thought she doesn't have to describe him in that manner anymore for he was an _Erudite. _But still, she broadens the explanation about him. The story moves forward to the fact that his fellow faction members and _Jeanine, _the Erudite leader herself, did have a big expectation in anything that he does. So when the time came that he has failed an element which he assumed as an advantage but rather turned out as the opposite, the Erudite began to throw all the blame on him. Soon, he arrived to the point of being paranoid and he didn't know what to do anymore. As a result, he has decided to better be factionless.

"Jeanine adopted me." She continues. "She said she'd transform me into something more. And so I believed her and all her shit."

With the mention of Jeanine's name, Eliza suddenly becomes harsh with her words. She begins talking about her and all that she's done as though she doesn't care if what she says disadvantages Jeanine's reputation.

"She wanted to get information here in Dauntless." She says that by switching her eyes from Tris to me. "And so she used me to obtain that. She said she wanted to rule over the factions. Foolish I believed in her pretty words which, now, I reckon as venom."

"So you gave her details? The details that she need?" Tris inquires as I follow up another query. "And if you did, she is now working with her scheme?"

"No, no," Eliza waves a hand. "I didn't tell her anything. I realized that I was young that time and I was easy to be fooled. She's used me not to transform me as something more or something better. I was perfectly okay as being an Erudite until she just turned me into a crap… like this. Like the one who attacked you in the Chasm."

Her focus is now on Tris.

"Like the one who collaborated with Peter to scare you off. The one who started the scene at the dining hall. The one who hates you for such a senseless reason. The one who…" she gulps for air. "The one who… shot you."

From where I am, Tris is the only one can judge Eliza's expression. She's the one who sees how sincere Eliza is with all these things that she says. On my part, I'm the one who hears any invalid thing in what she's telling us. As Tris gazes at Eliza for a long while, Eliza peeks over her shoulder to switch the attention on me.

"The one who earned your trust on our own initiation just to have an instrument on discovering further information." She points out. "The one you trusted with your secret but threw that trust away like trash. I would say that you were right for _just _letting me hear about them. You were right for _not _letting me in of your fear landscape, _Four. _You were right with that."

And then she looks back to Tris.

"I know this might sound stupid especially when it comes from me but… it's been a long time since I haven't said these words."

In this moment, the Dauntless side of Tris has subsided. I can see in her face that her Abnegation part is showing.

"I'm sorry." Eliza slowly bows her head. "I think… it wasn't me. It wasn't me at all. I'm not… I'm not Eliza. I am… I am Iris. Iris, the Erudite. Not Iris or Eliza, the brave. I'm _a _coward. I was… and until now, I'm afraid of losing my parents. In my fear… I had to deal with Jeanine's terms. In my fear… I had to change myself which happened to be for the worst. I'm…" she breaks off for a fraction of seconds but it doesn't last long. After that, she peeks over her shoulder again to look at me in the eyes. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

And because I know that I won't be good in words by this moment, all I do is to nod. No words. Just a nod. But that doesn't mean to say that I just heard her say sorry. I nodded because I _saw _the apology. Tris, I think, sees it the same way. The last time she didn't forgive someone, she ended up blaming herself for his death. For Al's death. And now, she's being asked for forgiveness once again. But this time, she already knew what would happen.

_Iris _is leaving. All that she's asking for before she leaves this place is her forgiveness.

Eventually, after a long while, Tris begins to speak on her behalf. "I'm not sure if you have to know about this… but in some way, we are the same. I don't want to lose my parents too. I don't want to lose… Caleb, as well."

"Caleb," Iris murmurs.

"And I think… everyone has cowardice in their being. It doesn't mean you're Dauntless, you're not afraid of anything anymore. It doesn't mean you used to belong to another faction, you're already brave. Sometimes… sometimes in fear… we arrive to the point of being somebody we don't intend to be. Because in that way… in that way, we believe that the fear will fade. But the truth is it doesn't come as easy as that. It takes courage. _Real _courage."

"It would be bias of me to say these things to you without letting you know about how mad I have been for everything that you did. I also hated you. I also wished I could get my payback for what you've done."

Iris nods.

"The Dauntless in me says that I shouldn't forgive you. It tells me to shoo you away from my sight. It tells me to slap you with this free hand of mine." Tris says matter-of-factly. "But the Abnegation in me says we're just both humans and that I should forgive you. The last time I rejected someone… it turned on the wrong way."

"You know what… Tris?"

Iris stutters a bit on the mention of her name. She must have been used with calling her Stiff.

"And… Four?" she tilts her head on shoulder length to see me through the corner of her eye. "You two… you two could _have_ been together on early time if… if I didn't transfer here in Dauntless. If only I didn't enter the scene… I bet you have said your feelings for each other on when you wanted to. But… but because I came, you had to go through a long span of time before you could find your way to each other. All this time… all this time I am _the _background. And that's the truth. You two… Four and Tris… you're the ones who're meant to be. But like what I said, I stole the scene so it had to reach this point."

Then upon reaching me through the corner of her eye, she bends down to pick up her bags.

"And as you can see… I'm leaving. I have… I have made the choice of being factionless. Again, you might think this is silly of me but… that is where my parents are. It's been so, so long since we haven't seen one another. I don't care if I'm going to live in poverty. I'd rather be factionless than get back to Erudite where my roots were ruined. And, who knows right? Maybe my father has come back. The old him has come back. And also, I want to have Iris back. I'm throwing Eliza away now."

For the last time before rising from the stool, Iris gives Tris the smile that I suppose was the smile that she used to wear when she was still an Erudite.

"I hope you get better soon, Tris." She says. "And I hope… you and Four could make it all through no matter what happens. You deserve to be together."

Tris doesn't smile; not for a bad cause, but maybe because she didn't expect Iris's decision. Iris turns and pauses to look at me for a while. And in that moment, I feel as though I am standing before a stranger. The way her eyes glimmer is different now. There are no more shades of Eliza in them. This person that I am facing is Iris, the Erudite.

"Bye, Four."

Then she peeks over her shoulder for Tris. "Bye, Tris."

And, as though she finds it difficult to leave, she slowly passes by me to reach for the door. It takes her about five seconds before twisting the knob open. But when she finally does, the door creaks and I feel her disappearing behind me. All I do is to watch Tris as it clicked closed and we're alone.

The moment her gaze meets mine, I release myself off of the wall to take the seat on the stool.

"We've done our part." I tell her. "We've given her the chance to explain her side and for her to apologize. I know you were thinking twice of forgiving her, Tris. Because I was thinking twice, too. There's been a part on while she's saying her story that I doubt her. That I thought she was just composing another lie."

"But she wasn't." she says plainly. "And you're right. I hated her much that I thought of not forgiving her. I wanted to throw a pillow on her face when I saw her entered the door. I wished I could have done that. Yet… I didn't even know what she's been through."

I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. "There you are again, sounding as though you are to blame."

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just reminded by Al."

"Tris," I say, "That's over. It's normal to be reminded about it; about _him_, but staying there—in the past—isn't. What you have is _now_ and you'd take it."

She just blinks.

"Suppose you could go back to normal after you get out of here. But _we _will begin. And there are a lot of things that we could do. For some time in your life, look in that direction. We could relive memories."

In that, she furrows her eyes; searching for hint. What I mean to say is beyond what she is thinking and if she's thinking about monotony, she gets it wrong.

When she hasn't figured out about what I'm talking about, I decided to give her a tease. I seize her hand with mine; our fingers intertwining perfectly.

"It's just going to be you and me."

**A/N: THANK YOU for reading and I hope you liked it! Like what I've said, I'm going to ask for your opinion about something. I'm thinking of making a scene where Tris will show Tobias her fear landscape and Tris will no longer be scared of intimacy. The other idea that I have is when they're going to relive a moment in the ferris wheel. So, which of the two would you like to happen; the first or the second one? It would just be okay if you want both of them; I just like to know on which you are favor with. : )**

**And, now that Eliza/Iris is not on the scene anymore, Four and Tris would have their moments as a **_**couple**_**. It's going to be a ride of fun, romance and drama, and I am excited to write them! Also, I'd like you to know that it doesn't mean that they are finally together; the story will just end there. I've decided to extend this fan fiction a bit longer for you're all giving me an inspiration. : )**

**SO…**

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

**A/N: Hello! I have read your reviews and found out that there are some who're favor of the first one; others of the second one; while there are of both. And since I think both scenes would be a good idea, I decided to write the two of them. Tobias has showed Tris his fear landscape and in return, I suppose Tris has to trust him with hers. Likewise, the Ferris wheel scene is an interesting thing for me since in the concept of this story; Tobias was already together with Eliza when he and Tris climbed up the wheel. But for the meantime, this chapter will be focused on some FourTris romance. That is why I'm going to stop talking now and let you read the idea that I've come up with during Biology class. (Our teacher was absent so I formed scenarios in my head 'bout how shall this chapter will turn out like.) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent; Veronica Roth does. : )**

**Enjoy reading!**

**Chapter Thirty Five: Our Time Together **

**Tris' POV**

In less than three weeks, the doctor, Vita, noticed that I was doing well. She has observed that I was following her advises which she guaranteed to be a huge help for me to be better soon. According to her surveillance, furthermore, it's not a disadvantage on my part that I couldn't do the usual things anymore. But of course, at the same time, she reminded me to keep an eye on my health status. I was so glad last Tuesday when she dropped by to the room where I was with Tobias and a few of my friends to announce that I could finally log out of the infirmary. After a day or two when I'm no longer confined, I became cautious of how I do courses of action; but when I felt as comfortable as before again, I began to move offhand.

At that time when Vita said the good news, I thought Tobias would accompany me in the dormitory where I, together with my friends, remained. But he took me by surprise when he brought me to a place that I had no idea what was for initially. I stood before an apartment as he just watched me wonder why we were there. I already had a clue on the last minute of what was it about but I was late to tell him what my guess is when he pulled out a key from the pocket of his jeans. He shook the key between my eyes, smiled at me and said,

"I got you _your _apartment."

And in that moment, my expression automatically lightened up that I threw my arms around his neck to gather him in an embrace. He chuckled against my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist. My belly hurt a bit during our encounter but I didn't care. When I leaned back to utter thank you, he interrupted me with an urgent kiss that I instantly returned with a more urgent one. Starting that day, I have moved in with my belongings to the apartment that I could call as my own. Christina, and the rest of my friends, also reckoned that they want a specific place of theirs so they got their own in less than a week. However, that doesn't bring us apart one another. Since they are already aware of my and Tobias's relationship, we would come together in one table during breakfast and dinner. Tobias and I would always sit by side and we often get caught being sweet to each other that make my friends tease us with, _"So when is the wedding?" _and we just laugh over it. I and Tobias aren't arriving to talk about that point yet. Not now, I suppose. We could still enjoy doing a lot of things together as a couple before we decide to settle down. There's a right time for that.

Today, Friday, I attended my shift at the tattoo parlor. Tori, too, has discovered about what's going on between me and Tobias. As a matter of fact, everyone is already aware about it. It makes us comfortable to _be _an actual couple without people hissing to each other of why we are together. It's also good to know that they no longer stick around the issue about Tobias's past. It seems as though they're over it—which is exactly how it's supposed to be—and we can be ourselves in public.

I am standing before the desk of my cubicle, flipping pages of a magazine that I found at the backstage of the parlor. Tori is up with a cheesecake on her own chair, waiting for a customer to come in. As she takes bites of the delicacy, she is trying to catch me blush through asking how I and Tobias are doing.

"We're great," I answer with an awkward smile. "He said he would just handle something at the training room while I'm on shift."

Tori makes a sound which I don't know what for. It is like she's stressing out meaning that I am clueless about and I think that way because she is smirking. When I ask her why with a low tone, I am startled with the sudden presence behind me. A pair of fingers tickles me in the waist that I hear myself escape a hysterical laugh and I twirl my back around to find Tobias wearing the boyish grin that never fails to make me giggle.

"I knew it!" I say between laughter. "And I thought you're at the training room?"

He corners me by placing his hands on the desk behind me and leaning his face closer to mine. His arms are on my both sides, preventing me from going. "I just got there." He says. "Now I'm here to fetch you."

I settle my hands sideways next to his on the desk and furrow my brows. "Fetch me? W-where are we going?"

"You'll know about that later." He briefly answers. "And I think you'd find it fun." From the corner of my eye, I can detect that Tori is watching us. If I would tilt my head on the right to confirm that, I might ruin the moment in awkwardness. That is why, as much as possible, I try not to make a lot of moves from my position. Tobias is still cornering me with his arms, looking at me in the eyes, and then slowly closing the distance between our faces. At the next second, his lips are already pressed into mine. It isn't like the kiss that we had outside my apartment. This one is soft and slow but nevertheless, we both can feel the tension. We kiss for a longer while, there at my cubicle, standing. As it goes on, I find my hands moving around his neck and his hands, too, switch around my waist. It is when he tries to deepen the kiss that the realization of having Tori watching us, hit me. I slowly pull away to check her reaction but she is just smiling at me—smiling at _us_. Tobias looks from me to Tori yet unlike me, he seems as though he doesn't find this awkward. But after a while of exchanging stares, the silence subsides when he chuckles.

"This is not the place, I guess." He says.

Tori just let out a dry laugh to tell us that it was okay, however, in my part, I am edgy. But thankfully, Tobias doesn't take the moment for too long. He releases his hands from the desk and asks me, "Shall we?" I simply nod as I pull the small of my back away from the desk and he takes my hand with his. I turn to Tori before we could reach the exit to ask her if it would just be fine to be gone in a while when actually, I have no idea for how long am I going to be away. She doesn't pause or stutter when she replies, "Of course," in an average tone.

And then finally, hand in hand, I and Tobias walk out of the parlor. I try to ask him again of where are we going but the only response that I receive from him is a small smile and a, "You'll see."

Xxxx

We aren't walking within five minutes yet when I thought I already have a clue of where he's going to take me. We turn to the right direction, then to the left, then to right again. He said he just came from the training room and that he dropped by the parlor to fetch me. If I would consider that, he meant to say that he'd take me in the training room. But as we're just a few inches away from there, I begin to ask myself of why he chose that place for us to be alone. The question leaves me when we finally reach the entrance.

As I step in, the first sentiment that I feel is nostalgia. How long has it been since we're trained in shooting, fighting, and throwing knives? Four months? Five months? I can't recall. All that I could remember is how I was estimating the target with the dagger on my hand, fighting the punching bag as though it's human, and stumbling backwards when I shoot the pistol. I am flashing back to the many old times that I forgot the reason why we are here. _No_, in fact, I don't know the reason. Tobias is weaving the punching bag around as if it's a controlled ballerina. Then as I watch him do that, he lifts his head in my direction and says,

"Remember that day, Tris?"

A quiet voice escapes from me. "Day…"

"Knees… elbow… do they ring a bell?"

I crease my brows as I try to form a scenario with the keywords then after a fraction of seconds, I spontaneously laugh. _Yes, I remember that day_. It was when Four, my instructor, watched me throwing punches on the punching bag until he asked me to stop to touch my stomach. _"You don't have much muscles." _He told me. _"I think you should try to pull power from your elbow instead." _And when those words echo in my head like a good old song, I find myself toddling towards the punching bag and giving it a weak strike.

"Harder, Stiff." Tobias says. Pretending that we're in training like before, I do what he says so. I gain the force on my fist and give the punching bag another strike, then another one, and one more try, until it sways sideways like a drunk man. I can see Tobias watching me with a serious expression; like right now he _is_ Four and I am the Stiff, his initiate. I guess I've finally figured out why he brought me here. He told me in the infirmary when I was confined that once I get back to normal, we could _re-live _some memories. This is one of the memories that he wants to rewind.

Once I get tired with the punching bag, I catch it between my hands to take it back to its place. Tobias then moves to the table where the weapons are. On the left side are the knives while on the right are the pistols. He picks up a knife from the transparent case and then another one, and one more of it, then finally settling the fourth one on his left palm. When I ask him what he would do with those daggers, he closes the case and walks over to me.

"Knives," he simply says. "Remember?"

From his face, I shift my eyes to the knives settled on his palms. _Knives, knives, knives. What's with the knives again? _

"_If you flinch, Al takes your place. Understand?"_

"_Come on, Stiff. Let someone else stand there and take it." _

And as those dialogues contort into a memory, I find myself glaring up to Tobias. With an ironic tone, I tell him, "How could I forget? You spent that whole time _taunting _me."

"Taunting _you_? Remember, I was waiting for you to catch on?"

"Well you didn't know the feeling when you're the one standing before the target and swearing under your breath for dear life! You also almost stabbed my ear, Four!"

He chuckles. "So what do you mean in here?"

What I'm thinking is that I want to try putting him on the same position that I've been through during that stage of initiation. I want to see how things will turn out to be if they are in reversed. Taking the knives from his hands, I look up to him again and say, "I _want_ you to be the one standing before the target while I'm the one who throw these daggers. Let me show you my version of your taunting session."

"Woah, woah, there, Stiff." He takes a step backward with hands in the pockets of his jeans. "You're challenging me?"

I raise an eyebrow on him and look at him from head to toe and vice versa. "Yes, I _am _challenging you. Now, would you please stand with your back to the board so we could begin?"

I see his lips twitch into a smirk as he turns sideways to reach the target. I prepare myself with the knives on my hands while he does his business of leaning his back on the board. Unlike me, he looks so relaxed. When I was the one standing there at his position, I was shuddering; only that I didn't show it to anybody. But him… he just stands there with feet crossed, hands in the pockets, and chin up. Maybe he's thinking that I couldn't do this; that I couldn't taunt him the way that he taunted me. Maybe he's assured that I won't be giving his ear a try as much as he did to mine. But no, I would do this. I will begin with the knife on my left hand.

I angle my body sidelong, the left foot in front, the right foot behind. The first dagger is on my right hand while the rest are compressed on my left. After assessing of where his sensitive button is, I seal one eye and throw the knife. It sticks in the board near his temple. Yet, he remains on the same relaxed position as though nothing has happened. He shoots me the kind of look that, in my guess, states the line, "_Try me._" Well I'm doing it. But it's like he wants to guarantee that he is not being taunted; that he's certain I can't do this. That is how I see it.

Down to the second knife, I do the same perspective. In my mind, I countdown to one before I seal an eye and throw the weapon on hand. This time, it sticks nearby his cheek. It is the moment that I've chosen to tell him the lines that he used when I was the one standing at his position.

"You about done, _Stiff_?" I say.

He tilts his chin up, gives me that boyish grin, and shakes his head. "No."

"Yes you are! You're just trying to act nonchalant."

"Well throw me the third one so you'd see." He dares. "Then make the fourth one follow right away."

From the left, I switch the third knife on my right hand. "If you wish." Then I position myself again to accept his challenge. This is the third try already but he still seems composed. Maybe if I choose his ear as my aim, he would feel the tingle of the metal against his skin and he'd realize that that was exactly how I felt when he almost stabbed my ear.

For the third time around, I raise my arm on shoulder length to measure the location of his ear. He locks his eyes on mine as if it's an instrument for destruction but I don't focus on them. I shut an eye again and toss the third knife. I didn't pause for a while to check where it hits for like what he wished, I shall make the fourth one follow the third one right away. And so I did. The moment I've thrown the third knife, the fourth knife followed in sequence, and I think—no, I _believe_, I see him move his head a little to avoid the fourth strike. It almost stabbed him in the ear, too. And I feel proud. Somehow I've taunted the Dauntless prodigy.

I tilt my chin up with pride and smirk at him. "See? I told you so."

He chuckles as he turns his head on the board. "Not bad,"

"What—"

"You really took my ear as your target, didn't you?"

I press my arms against my chest. "Yes, I did. And you tried to avoid it."

He shrugs. "I was only giving you a chance."

My mouth falls open for I am about to protest that I did well but he speaks before I could begin.

"I'm just kidding." He says. "That's _my _girl."

Then he releases his back off of the target and walks toward me. He is so tall that instead of just looking straight into his eyes, I still have to tilt my head up. He gives me a teasing smile when he says, "You just passed the test on being a Dauntless instructor for the next initiation."

I narrow my eyes. "Instructor? You mean—"

"We'd train the new initiates together. You and I. How's that sound?"

I part my lips to response but the words don't come immediately. But after a second or two of pause, I have spoken. "That would be great, Tobias." Then I blink my eyes. "Is that… is that why you brought me here? To see if I could do the job with you?"

"Of course not," he says right away. "That's out of the question. I knew we could do it right together. Why I brought you here is because I want you and me to remember how we started off as instructor and initiate; how we were before. And it seems to me that they're all still fresh in your memory."

I wrinkle my nose. "Of course they are." And he pinches my nose. "Hey, stop!"

He laughs at my reaction. Silence gathers in the room afterwards. Within the minute when none of us says a thing, I reckon what he's going to do. Slowly, he inclines his head down to reach for my face and once he does, he frames it with his both hands. The next thing I knew, his lips have crashed into mine.

He takes me with him as he walks backward, our lips still pressed against each other. He rotates clockwise to reverse our positions so now I feel the edge of the table on the small of my back. Without pulling away from the kiss, he carries me through both arms and settles me down the table. I hear him tug the cases of weapons on the side so there won't be destruction. Then he inserts himself between my legs as he deepens the kiss and as I find my hands moving around his neck. The tip of his tongue tickles my lower lip, asking for another entrance. I open my mouth to him and allow myself to taste him. His lips taste so sweet, making me yearn, spinning my head around, getting me lost. From his neck, my hands move upward to his hair and there I curl my fists.

We kiss for a longer time, there by the table. As the urge of our encounter goes on, we no longer know where our hands travel. At first I thought my hands are still on his hair but I figured that they are already on his chest. Lately Tobias's hands are just on my waist but now I can feel them slipping inside my shirt, at my back. And when I feel the gut that this may lead to somewhere else, I slowly pull away from the kiss.

Tobias stares at me with confusion but he doesn't seem angry. I think he's also realized that his hands have come beyond so he slides them down out of my shirt. With concerned eyes, he asks me, "What's wrong?"

And in that moment that he asked me that question, I already knew the answer. _I am the problem here. _It's silly how we've already confessed our true feelings for each other and that we've come to the point of expressing love and passion for one another but still… he doesn't completely know me. He still doesn't know about it.

"Tris?" he says. "Are you just okay?"

This has to end. I don't want to be unfair to him. I don't want him to feel that I don't trust him because I _do _trust him and I _do _love him. He deserves to know what's scaring a part of me up until now.

I blink my eyes a couple of times but I don't look away. I release my hands off of his chest and tell him, "You have to know something."

**A/N: It took me six hours to write this chapter 'cause I was being destructed by the internet and the attention-seeking images on Tumblr. (Hehe!) But there it goes and I hope you liked it! And as what you wished, Tris will be showing Tobias her fear landscape and the Ferris wheel scene will also happen. : )**

**That's all for today and till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	36. Chapter Thirty Six

**Chapter Thirty Six: Series of Breaths**

**Tris' POV**

It is not my intention to be mean but I jump down from the table, bypassing Tobias. I walk back and forth in the training room with palms rubbing each other to somehow lessen my anxiety. But it doesn't work. I can feel his eyes on me; that he finds this bizarre and he couldn't understand me. I couldn't understand this either. I don't want him to think that I ruined our moment for no specific reason. I don't want to make him feel bad.

After a minute of not talking, he finally approaches me and holds me on both shoulders. I stop my vacillating actions and stand short in front him. His eyes scream concern yet at the same time, confusion. As much as I want to look away so this won't be that hard for me, I cannot even do so. By now, I am being selfish. This seems like I don't care about what he feels; that he wants to know what is going on.

But he doesn't nag about it. His touch remains on my shoulders, his eyes stayed locked on mine, and then, with a usual voice, he asks me, "What's bothering you?"

His palms are warm contrary to my skin, making me relax by some means. I moisten my lips and I figured that his taste is still there but that is not where my mind is on focus. My focus is on how I'm going to tell him about the truth.

"Tobias…" I try to make my voice function steadily, even just on the mention of his name. "You have to know something about me."

If he is thinking that this is strange, I would say yes, it is. Maybe he wonders why did I choose to ruin our moment together just to pace back and forth and end up telling him that he _has _to know something about me. _Can't she just say it some other time? _He might be saying in his mind. _And how possible was it that she thought of speaking up while we were in the midst of some romance? _

"Please don't think that I don't trust you." I beseech. "Because I do. But I won't let this thing stay inside of me for much longer. I don't want you to think otherwise every time we… every time we… we touch." Even the word itself cannot be verbalized right ahead. "So I arrived to the decision of… of letting you in of my… my fear landscape."

Tobias has trusted me in two ways when he was the one whom he gave permission to witness his fears. His past was terrible that is why he was cautious of the people he allows inside his fear landscape. He doesn't want to pick people who would end up judging him anyway. And as much as I believed that he met a girl back in Abnegation whom he's sure he trusts, it still turned out that I'm the only one whom he felt comfortable to face his fears with. I _am _the person that he's sure he trusts and he is the same thing with me.

"I would do this because I want you to know me more. I don't like hiding anything such as my fear landscape when I'm sure that you won't see me differently afterwards."

"Of course I won't," he's defensive but in a good way. "When you were the one who entered mine, you didn't give me that look of judgment. And Tris, you won't let me in of yours just to hear me say anything foul once I've found out about it. They are your fears and I suppose there are reasons why you are scared of them."

With his hands remaining soothing on my shoulders, he continues. "I'm glad you trust me about this, Tris."

Taking him by surprise, I instantly push myself towards him to bury my face on his chest. His hands wrap around me as mine wraps around his waist. He combs my hair with his fingers, an act that tells me he does understand. Once I tighten my hold on his waist, he does the same, but much tighter than what I did. I allow myself to stay encased on his arms for a longer while but soon, I knew I would have to bring him inside my fear landscape already.

The last time I went inside it, I was alone. But now, not anymore.

Xxxx

I wait for Tobias at the Pire as he fetches the black small box where the syringes we'd use are. In less than ten minutes, he has come back with the item. He gives me a knowing look before he hands it to me. I am sure about this; I am sure about letting him in. There is no turning back and he has to know—he has to _see_. When I remove the lid of the box, there are two syringes waiting to be picked up. I am not hesitant once I insert my hand to reach for the first syringe.

I handed the syringe to Tobias. He steps closer to me to brush my hair gradually that reveals my neck, and regulates the tip of the syringe to the injection area. I haven't countdown to one yet when he pushes the plunger; the feeling is mutual and less aching for this is, I think, somehow similar when you're being branded with a tattoo. The serum releases inside me, then. Tobias deposits the empty syringe back into the box and his hand reappears with the second syringe.

"Your turn," he says.

I take the syringe from him and he purposely inclines his head for I can't attain his height. Just like what he did, I align the tip of the syringe to the side of his neck, the target. I slowly push the plunger down and that is when the serum begins to spread over his nerves. Once we're both ready, I put the syringe back inside the box and settles it down an open space.

"Remember, Tris." He says once we have reached the doors of the fear landscape. "In this process, you'd have to _face_ your fears."

I stare at him nonchalantly due to being reminded of how the Dauntless leaders watched and laughed at me when I undergone situations that state about what I'm scared of. But still, I keep that expression away and change it with an assuring look that tells him I can do this.

Finally, after a portion of seconds of standing before the doors, we cross the threshold. And there, we didn't have to seal our eyes anymore because in less than a minute, the room begins to turn black.

Xxxx

The darkness only lasts in a blink of an eye. The next thing I knew, we are already standing on our feet on a grassy field. The locale is initially quiet and the view seems so far away from me as if I don't know what to find. Tobias strolls around for a while but I knew he's not doing it for a non-sense reason. I reckoned that he's examining the place, searching for an actual event to occur. When nothing happens within a minute, I decided to join him. At the very end of my throat, something is commanding me to speak. It says that if I do so, I will attract the attention of the purpose of this first setup.

I turn my back to Tobias when nothingness prolongs to gather. He is still turning his head around as if he doesn't believe that this is just a field. And I am with him. This couldn't just be a field put in here as a trick, to make us wait like idiots. I am still afraid of crows so therefore they are just hiding somewhere, finding the perfect timing to attack. I can sense that anytime, they will just take me by surprise and scrape me with those talons and beaks.

"If I'm not mistaken this is the venue of the crows." Tobias says, referring to the time when I went through the process of the third stage of initiation. "But where are they?"

I tilt my head onto the left and answers, "They must be playing hide and seek with me."

"Or they must be scared of you."

I turn my head back to front view. My body is suddenly alarmed as if it's telling me to move. _Now. _I don't intend to enlarge my eyes but they do so along with my jaw that falls open. Tobias doesn't have to be reminded at that moment; he also knew. _We both do. _Once I finally hear the sounds of their arrival which happen to be coming from my back, I twirl around and find them flying hastily to reach me.

"Tris!"

Talons begin to send chills to my body while mandibles prickle in every part of me. I hear myself squeal as I am being surrounded with this murder of crows who wants to finish me up through a short span of time. It is when I can no longer tolerate their assault that I lift myself from where they brought me down and run to find a weapon to shoot them. They follow me in every path I choose to take; their presence behind me makes me run faster than I could.

But it is during the moment that I'm trying to save myself when I realize that Tobias is lost in the scene. I shouldn't be preventing myself from escaping for the crows might catch on me again but this is no joke. Tobias is lost. I can't see him anywhere I turn my head at. _He's gone. _This is just me: left alone and must surpass the crows. Is this why he reminded me that I have to face my fears before we entered the doors of the fear landscape? Did he mean to say I have to face my fears _alone_ and he only came at the first place so I won't ponder of quitting? But no. I shouldn't be thinking about him that way. I trust him. He is here. This is just a simulation and nothing bad will happen to him for I am the target of these crows. _He is here, he is here, he is here. _

I don't know for how long I've been running but I could tell that the pathway is slowly growing to be narrow. The center of the field catches my attention. If there are no any other sources of weapons here, it only has to be the field and nothing else. I couldn't just run in here forever. This is only the first fear and I need to obtain the rest that will follow. As the crows prolong to fly after me, I am almost near the area which I intend to dig for a weapon. There are only few steps left for me to take when suddenly, like a bolt from the blue, I stumble against something hard. When I tilt my head to see what that is, I realize that it's more of a _'who is that'._

I stutter when I speak. "T-Tobias?"

"We'd talk about this later." He says in a hurry. He takes my hand with his and we run together to reach for my intended area.

"On here, on here,"

We crouch down next to each other and begin digging around the grass. Before the crows could come closer, we have formed a hole; and there, we find two pistols kept back for us. Finally, when the murder of crows is about to ascend us angrily, I and Tobias link our backs together and shoot the crows one by one. I watch as they tumble down the field and as the remaining ones attempt to attack me but I've shot them before they could stand a chance. When I'm certain that there are no more of them, I release a big breath. My heart, which was beating so fast like a gun bullet, has come to grow sluggish. I gradually bring my hands down which until now are trembling from the recent encounter with the crows. However, as a fraction of seconds pass by, I am starting to feel normal again.

My spinal remains linked to the midst of Tobias's. That is when I travel back to my senses and tells myself that he is here. I was right. I don't know why and how he faded in a sudden recently but what does matter is that we've found a way to slay the crows and we did it together as a team. I can sense that he's still recovering through how his back expands against mine and how he gasps for breath.

Soon, when he no longer does it, he reverses his position and I stumble back against him. He catches me by a hold around the waist and turns me around so now I'm facing him.

"Tobias…" I mutter. "You have gone my sight when the crows attacked."

"I called out your name." he says. "But I guess you didn't hear me. I could see you but you couldn't see me. The moment you were looking for a weapon, I was also doing the same."

My forehead curls in confusion. "But why is that? How did it happen? Why didn't I see you not until I'm at the narrow pathway?"

"It must be a part of your fear landscape's challenge: to gain strength resources in the midst of a sudden loss and fear. You were being tested on how you would react when you find out that you have no company at all; that you'd need to overcome it by yourself. And you've proved that you can manage to make your mind and body work although things approached you chaotically. You didn't stop running. You knew it was your goal to find a gun."

"But… I wasn't able to find you."

"You found me. If you stopped running to observe your surroundings assuming you might see me, you wouldn't have stumble to where I am. You did it right."

I understand. It was just all a test. My first fear is done; now we're off to the second one. I would have to be braver this time.

Tobias inclines his head down to me and brushes his lips softly against mine. "Ready for the next stage?"

I beam into his eyes for I know that I am. "Ready."

**A/N: Hello! I'm sorry if I was only able to write about Tris's first fear in this chapter. To tell you honestly, I was really terrified to write this chapter. I mean… this is challenging in a way that I can't explain. I was worried that I may not describe her fear landscape in a good manner or that I may not express her insights towards the crows. So you see… I made my own version of how the crows attacked Tris and how she and Tobias surpassed them. I didn't want to write it in the same manner that Veronica Roth did on the book for I knew that I couldn't attain to write like her. I knew, from the start, that I could only write this chapter in my way and so I did. I would try to make the rest of her fears fit in one chapter next time so we don't have to go through a long way with it. : )**

**Lastly, I hope this is not too much to ask, but I want to know what you think about the way I wrote this chapter; either positive or negative or both. Your opinions might help me to do better on Chapter 37. **

**So, that is all for today, thank you for reading and till the next chapter! : )**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	37. Chapter Thirty Seven

**Chapter Thirty Seven: Listen to ME**

**Tris' POV**

Like a windowpane being pushed aloft, my eyes open before a clear glass, revealing a familiar place on its outside. I take a step closer to the glass to touch it with my palm when I realize that I am trapped inside a four-cornered tank. Even the ground, when I look down, has the same interior. And when I raise my head back to front view, the outside that I thought was familiar, turns out to be the Pit. Due to being stunned, I flip my back around and find Tobias not so far from me. The tank is an enclosed room so he's only by the reverse of where I am. He's knocking on the glass, but not so hard, and switching to the next glass to do the same. I want to ask him why is he doing that but I have this sensation that if I part my lips, the same thing that happened on my first fear will occur again.

After realizing that nothing changes with the knocks, Tobias leans back to the right corner glass. He's looking at the tank from bottom to top with that type of expression that I've seen from him before. As I watch him for a longer while, the realization that he _is _claustrophobic hits me by my senses. He is scared of being imprisoned in a place where he finds it hard to breathe or to move. And this—this tank—is not that different from the cabinet where Marcus used to trap him in.

"Tobias," I call with concern. At the midst of looking up and down, he turns his head to me. "This is very familiar." He says. "I've forgotten that you have this kind of fear."

I've said my first word since we arrived here in the tank. At the first setup, when I spoke for the very first time, the crows instantly took their approach. But in here, I've already spoken a portion of seconds ago but there is no water emerging yet. Thinking it might be harmless; I decided to stand next to Tobias to let him know that he isn't here alone. We'd overcome this situation together and we'd be coming out from this simulation alive.

When I have taken the vacant space beside him and has leaned my back on the glass like he does, I slowly lace my fingers onto his. Initially, they couldn't find the spaces they must be in but soon, we feel the way they used to link together perfectly. Tobias releases a small breath before shifting his focus to me. I knew he wanted me to meet his gaze and so I did.

He is only about to part his lips to speak when suddenly, we turn our heads down at the same time for we felt that something molten is running from beneath. It begins from our shoes then it elevates to our calves and soon, it has reached the back of our knees. Our hands separated away and we look at each other with alarmed expressions. I reach for the back glass while Tobias goes to the front glass. The water continues to run—slowly but precise—to our femurs. I have faced this fear before already but somehow it still makes my hands tremble and my heart to pound hard against my chest.

"Relax, Tris." Tobias tells me. "Control your fear."

As much as I want to, I can't help but to feel feeble seeing the water goes higher to my thighs. The last time I undergone this tank, I was so eager to get out that I didn't think twice of thrusting the glass just to break it. The matter was it won't break. It took me some time to focus about a technique which the simulation assumes to be the unthinkable. And this is where I have to make my mind in use to recall that technique.

"Tobias, I know how." My words are slurred but I'm sure he understands them. The water is now approaching our chests. I need to say this quick before it reaches our faces. "I've done this before and I think it would work better if we do it together."

"What is it?" he asks.

"We'll attach our palms on the glass, let them stay there for a while, and right after that, we'd spank it with the best force that we could do despite of the water controlling our speed."

"I'm ready." He says quickly.

Once the water has approached our chins, we turnaround from each other to face the glasses we're about to strike. I can feel the coolness of the water going beyond my nose then beyond my head. I wait for it to fill the whole tank although there's a part of me that hates this sensation of being unable to escape in a tank that won't break no matter how hard you strive to shove it. When the water has reached the upper limit, I begin to place my palms on the glass in front me. I peek over my shoulder to see if Tobias has done the same and coincidentally, he also looks over his shoulder to check on me. I give him a small nod which states the signal that we have to do it now. Together. Precisely.

We take our heads back to front view after the signal has been given, and in my mind I make a count of three. Once I've said the third count, I collect all of the strength I have in my biceps and my hands and I put them together to smack the glass before me. Although it is not my intent, I seal my eyes closed when I have done my part. I wanted to open them only when I'm certain that my body is no longer wet and when the water substances aren't prickling me anymore.

However, in my estimation, it has been a minute already but my eyes remain shut. I knew Tobias and I have made it. I knew we've hit the glass at the same time and we have surpassed the tank. But… why is it that I can't touch the ground? Why is it that I'm carried in one place? Why is it that I'm lying in nowhere? Am I dead? Where am I?

_No, I'm not dead. _

_I am alive._

I open my eyes and shock curses into me. Here I am again. I feel like I might collapse to the lowest surface of this ocean and won't be able to find my way up. I am under these layers of water which forbid me to see the sky or anything that's out there that—at least—could be my source of strategy. I twirl around to find a route that might be a help for me to pull myself up from here. But then, just like what happened at the first setup, I figured out that Tobias is lost at the scene again and he can't be found anywhere I search for him. Despite of the fear that I might haul myself down the lower layers, I spread my arms on right length to swim. I find an indication of where the escape is and try to swim up farther beyond my ability that in result, I have lost control over my weight on the last second of reaching the trail out and I throw my arms in the air. I catch for my breath as I lift my head from the layers but it keeps on going back beneath them as though they are eating me alive. My feet are also swinging and so are my arms which keep on fighting the water as if it'd be kind to save me itself. I am not dead; I am alive; but I am drowning. As much as I want to scream on the top of my lungs, the air in my throat is being forbidden. It feels so dry; I think I might die.

At the midst of drowning and throwing arms in the air, I have finally managed to squeak. However, every time my head goes underneath again, my call is being incapable to be heard. Who would hear me anyway? Who is here for help? This might be another challenge like the one from the crows. In there, I was being tested on how I would react when I found out that I have nobody with me. On the second one, I was being tested if I could ask myself to focus so I could recall the strategy that I have used on that fear. And on this… I think I am being tested if I could find a way to save my life without anyone telling me the accurate course.

_When you are drowning in a simulation, what do you do? Will you scream? Of course not. Remember: This isn't reality. Real people don't exist in here for your call of help to be heard. You do not wait to be told of what you should do especially in this kind of situation. You must know it yourself because this is your fear, not someone else's._

Eventually, after that voice has spoken to me, my arms stop throwing it selves on air by purpose. I keep my eyes open as the waves beneath take me down slowly. When they have brought me at the core, I spread my arms wide, my legs straight, and my heart steady. _You do not wait to be told of what you should do… _the voice says again. I swim deeper to the surface of the ocean—the only option on hand to survive. _You must know it yourself because this is your fear, not someone else's…_

And right before my eyes seal close again, another voice talks to me saying, _you're getting there, Stiff. Meet me and we'll play. Let's burn you alive. _

The sound is malicious, familiar, and I don't like it. I had the urge to open my eyes to be aware of what's around but in a quick switch of events, I am no longer in the ocean.

Xxxx

"Look who's here!" a tall boy stands before me, owning a tousled hair, and an impish aura. I'm having a hard time to see his face clearly for my vision is dim and I can't make up his features. It seems as if I just came from sleep but I do not. I have just undergone the third setup but I didn't come from bed. Still, the boy remains standing there, watching me. He is talking but for the life of me, I can barely hear him.

"Wake up, Stiff." He is saying. "I told you we'd play, right?"

No answer.

"I'm going to burn you alive together with your Dauntless boyfriend prodigy. And guess what? It'll be a lot of _fun_."

And then there is laughter. Not from him, not from me. But rather from a group of people whom I didn't notice before; people who are on his sides; all eyes on me. Once I've traveled back to my senses and I've forced to exposed my sight, I had a better picture of the guy and his people mocking at me. Peter is holding a gas canister on his left hand and a lighter on the other. When I look back to his face, there is the usual mien that he gives me. The smirk.

"Do you realize now?" he asks.

Realize what? I echo in my mind.

"You're going to die with your boyfriend."

_Tobias_. _Where is Tobias? I haven't seen him recently. Where is he? _

"Tris," a steady voice calls. "Tris, I'm here."

It is when I try to search for the owner of the voice that I figured out I am not free. When I peek over my shoulder, a tall pole welcomes my vision. I follow its conduit from where I am tied up until the upper limit. Then when I trace it back down, I find a man-figure tied on the opposite perspective. His features are _too _acquainted for me that I feel bad he has to be in this condition.

"Tobias," I say. "Can you hear me?"

I only ask this because we might be being tricked again like with the recent ones. I'm afraid this person I'm talking to right now is just a fraud being used to test me. But I hope not. I hope this is him. This _got to be_ him.

"Yes," he mutters. "I can hear you. This is your fourth fear, right?"

I press my lips and answers, "Right. Have you heard what Peter's going to do?"

"Burn us? Yes. But we would surpass this, Tris. We'd do it together like we did on the tank."

"But you have gone at the—"

"I know. Have me explain later."

"Done saying I love you to each other?" Peter calls out. "Because once I begin my count, you're going to start burning."

I turn away from Tobias and faces Peter again. This time I had the mind to check the faces of his people. Beside the girl with a shaved head stands a girl with mascara in her eyes, making her look pretty. Next to that girl is this boy curling an arm around her waist that's likely to be her boyfriend. Beside that boyfriend is another girl standing tall on a pair of heels. Few inches away from them, on the other side of the room, are an alternative circle of four people. Two tall boys who look like each other stand next to another pair of girls; the first one is short; the second one is far taller than she is. When I look back from the girl with the shaved head to the last tall girl, I have formed the pattern of who they are.

Lynn. Christina. Will. Marlene. My friends. Zeke. Uriah. Shauna. And…

_Eliza._

"One," Peter begins to count. But I am not paying attention. My focus is on Eliza and _why _is she here; _what _is she doing here.

"Two,"

"Tris, don't panic. All you have to do is focus and remind yourself that this isn't real."

_But she is here. Eliza is here. This feels real._

"Right. Focus."

"Three,"

This is it. Peter opens the lid of the gas canister and begins touring around the pole where we're tied. It's been a while before he goes straight to the point but at the end, he has chosen to stop in front me. He crouches down to the floor and gives me a mocking look. I wish I am not tangled in here. I wish I am free right now. Because if I am, I'd definitely smack him bloodthirsty on the face.

I also wish I am tall enough to have long legs that could kick the canister away from his hand. But I figured that if I do that, the gas will spill on the ground itself and Peter will see that as an advantage to start off the fire. Why are we in this kind of room anyway? A room where a bulb is just above the ceiling serving as the light; nothing else? This is bizarre. Yet I guess the simulation is _always _going to be that way. Or… is still this a simulation or it has gone real?

"See you in hell, Stiff." Peter teases.

I scowl. "You go first."

He chuckles. "No, you."

Then he says no more and tilts the canister to the floor to spread the gas few layers from the pole—from us. He does this as he circles around so once he lights the fire, I and Tobias are bounded to escape. When he's done, he throws the canister to Uriah and Uriah catches it one hand. During that moment I want Uriah to look at me through the eyes that state who he really is. This is not him. These people aren't my friends. But I _am _desperate and I can't concentrate. I want to send him a message saying this is Tris, _we _can't burn, and they need to wake up for all of these don't seem as make-believe.

Peter has started off the fire. I watch as it transmits in the same pattern that Peter has created. The flames appear so close that I thought I might inevitably burn in this pole with hands tied up. I think I've showed such evident fear on my face that they suddenly begin to laugh. Yes, all of them. They're laughing at me. They're telling me unpleasant words that my real friends won't dare to say.

"Burn Stiff, _burn!_" Christina says between laughter. "I hope you die."

"People like you shouldn't have existed. You're non-sense, bullheaded, and a weakling." is what Marlene throws at me bitterly.

"You know what Tris?" a male voice says. I turn my head to the other circle of four people and find Uriah referring to me. "I've confessed my feelings to you and hoped you could return them. I thought you might see me more than just your friend who pretended to be your boyfriend just to keep you from harm. But no, you didn't. You chose Four instead."

Uriah wouldn't say these. The real Uriah talked to me in the infirmary and told me that he wasn't expecting for me to return the same feeling. He told me it wasn't his intention to force himself between me and Tobias. _Don't be fooled, Tris. This is just another test, remember that._

"Don't listen to them, Tris." Another voice says. But this time I knew it isn't Peter or Will or the any other guys in this room. It is, I'm certain, Tobias. "Your focus must be on how we'd overcome this so don't mind them. Can you hear me? Tris?"

"Y-yes, I can hear you."

"And can you recall what you did when you faced this fear alone?"

"I-I can't." I am absent-minded. "I-I mean… I can, I can."

"If you force yourself to believe that they are your real friends, you won't be able to do the same technique that you have done the last time you undergone this. Keep your mind fixed, Tris. I need to know that you won't be carried away."

"I won't." I say. But I reckon that it was a murmur and I am not paying attention to what Tobias is telling me. I don't even know if he is _really _Tobias or if he is just an impersonator sent here to trick me so I'd fail this fourth stage. Why I am puzzled like this is because when I turn to where Eliza is, another figure of Tobias is standing next to her. His hand wraps around her waist while she rests her head on his shoulder.

"Nice try, Stiff." She says. "Nice try for stealing Tobias from me. But as always, you lose. You thought I'd just go factionless to leave him to you? Hell no. He's mine. Back off."

"Tris, are you there?" the other Tobias says. "Tris, _are_ you there?"

"Can't you hear her?" I ask him. "Can't you hear her speak, Tobias?"

"_Who?_"

"He can't hear me because he's fake." Eliza says. "So stop getting your hopes up. I have the real him with me and you can't have him back."

I don't know what to believe. I don't know what to think. When I look at the other version of Tobias on Eliza's side, I detect the same way his eyes gleam. I check how deep they look like even when there are flames of fire influencing them. My heart has fallen from its place when I figured that he might be the real Tobias brainwashed during the process of my fear landscape. Maybe that is reason why I haven't seen him on my third fear, at the ocean. Maybe because being trapped inside the tank filled with water _had _an _effect _on him. Maybe the Tobias tied on the opposite side of the pole is the fake one. But I can't tell. I can't even see him. I _need _to see him. I need to _see _his eyes. The eyes would tell who the real one is.

"Tobias," I call to the one standing next to Eliza. "Tobias, is that you?"

"Tris, I'm here." The other one says. "What are you saying?"

"How could you say you're real?" I peek over my shoulder. "Haven't you heard what Eliza has said? Can't you see the guy looking like you beside her?"

"_What?_"

"Take a look of what's around you!"

"Well there's fire." He says.

"Tobias I'm not kidding in here!"

"Tris we've been staying here for a long while now! I can't understand what you are talking about. If you don't recall how you have overcome this fear, we'd really burn alive in this pole."

"But you don't—"

"Tris," another voice calls my name. But it isn't the Tobias I'm currently arguing with. I shift my head back to where the other Tobias is and there I find him staring at me.

"Did you just call me?" I ask.

"Yes," he says. And it's surprising that he doesn't sound like an automaton. He sounds accurate. "Don't listen to him."

**A/N: Hey guys! First of all, I want to THANK YOU so much for sharing your feedbacks about Chapter 36. I really, really appreciated them! Second, I'm SORRY if I haven't put the rest of the fears here as I've said. Please don't think that I'm taking these things all the way around to make you wait longer. This is the most challenging chapter that I've written among the thirty seven chapters. When I began typing this at 10 a.m. in the morning, part of me was still afraid that I might not write this well. But then, I read your reviews again and I took inspiration from them and this chapter is the result. Again, it is not my intent to make you wait for so long. I'm just trying to find my voice as I worked with this chapter. I know a lot of you want to read about the intimacy part already but I haven't written it yet; but since I've put the other three fears here, I'd make sure that the three fears left will be on Chapter 38 and that is where Tris' fear landscape will end. **

**Thank you for sparing your time to read, and have a blessed day! : )**

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	38. Chapter Thirty Eight

**Chapter Thirty Eight: Fear Shall Wake You Up**

**Tris' POV**

"Don't listen to him." He repeats. "_Do_ what you have to do."

In my part, I see this as bewildering. Yes, I'm already in the point that there are two Tobias in this room and I can't tell which one of them is real. But the other thing that puzzles me is that why does he remain beside Eliza yet he's talking to me as though he's on the right perception. If he is trying to convince me that he is real, why isn't he moving? Why is he just _watching _me? Why isn't he pulling away from Eliza?

"What, Stiff?" Peter mocks. "You really would just let yourself burn? Don't what to do, huh? Your friends might be right, then. You _are _a weakling. A non-sense person. A bullheaded Stiff."

"_Tris,_" Tobias on the opposite side of the pole calls. "For how long are we going to stay here? Shall we wait for five more minutes?"

"Tris," the other Tobias says. I turn my head at him. "That's just fire. You can control it."

"Stop telling her what to do." Eliza says in a spoiled brat manner. "Let her burn."

I don't focus on Eliza. I ignore her. My attention is on Tobias, only on him, and on how his eyes blink at me. He isn't moving. His hand remains wrapped around Eliza. But I have detected that his expression seems rigid; as though he wants to move but he cannot. All that he could attain to work with are his mouth and his eyes. He could talk and he could blink but he couldn't make any other motions other than that. He acts like a machine but when he speaks he seems real. If only his arm isn't around Eliza then perhaps I could check if he has the tattoo of the intersecting guns that Tobias got from Tori; the tattoo that symbolizes us, protecting each other.

On the contrary, the Tobias on the other side of the pole is quite active. The way he talks is based on the objective of what he's going to say. In other words, he acts as how a real person would do. But _a _real Tobias won't just _depend_ on me with this thing. He won't toss all the pressure on me. He wouldn't just wait for me to save the two of us; he _would _partake on obtaining that for that is what his tattoo says.

And this—this Tobias who's on the other side of the pole—doesn't trust me. He's acting overwrought—which the real Tobias won't be like. The Tobias that I know was the one who examined the place of the first setup; the one who took my hand with his to reach the area of the field that we'd dig; the one who linked his back with mine to shoot the crows; the one who didn't overreact when he figured out that we're inside a four-cornered water tank. That is, I believe, the real Tobias. This Tobias nagging at me on the other side of the pole doubts my ability; the Tobias beside Eliza said: _that's just fire. You can control it; _he _believes _in me. And I do believe in myself. He was right. This is just fire.

The size of the flames expands its height until all I could see is the half of their bodies. The impersonators of my friends prolong to throw nasty words on me; words that they assume to be weapons that could tear me apart. But when I turn my attention back to the Tobias beside Eliza, I knew that those words are just pieces of trash that shouldn't have any effect on me. I have chosen to listen to _him_; but I've also chosen to listen to myself. He told me to do what I have to do and I figured that I would save the both of us from here.

"You see? I was right." Peter steps a little closer to the fire. His face is reflected by orange and his eyes seem darker. He's passed the appearance test of an evil. "You're going to hell at the first place with a brand plate on your forehead that says, _Glad to be here_, and you'd never have your ass back to Dauntless _ever _again. You know why, ha? Because weaklings aren't allowed in there. Stiffs are strictly prohibited!"

I look up to him and lay my eyes on his face. I've heard enough of these words already to feel stabbed in the chest. I've been called as Stiff a couple of times now but this is the first while that I liked the sound of it. _Stiff. _It sounds so good. _Stiff, stiff, stiff_. I repeat the word with myself over and over again until I like it too much and I can't take it anymore.

I escape a hysterical laugh and all eyes shift on me.

"Seems like fear has made you insane." Peter teases. "What the hell is funny?"

"You." I say between laughter. "All of you."

And I didn't stop laughing. I don't know why I started this off but I don't want to stop. I want to laugh for how long I want to; to toss the entire burden inside me; to embrace the heat of the flames; to feel stiff as what they call me. I never thought that this is the type of feeling that you get when you just keep on laughing. It irritates the wild animal inside you.

"So Peter… you're done with your speech? Can I begin with mine? Don't worry; this wouldn't take so much time. I'd just like to have a word with you before I burn."

He snorts. "I bet you won't be able to finish; the blazes have reached you already yet you're still talking. You're going to turn into a toast, Stiff. Stick that to your mind."

"I might burn on this pole in less than five minutes, Peter. But at least when that happens, I knew who I really am. How about you? Have you figured out yourself? Or… you're still running around the circles of your make-believe that you are brave?"

With this, I laugh again.

"Coward," I mock. "You're a coward."

"Shut the hell up."

"_Coward!_"

And the moment I break loose, the dark shades and walls of the room begin to fade. The ceiling opens its layers like curtains, revealing a gloomy sky. All of us look above and unexpectedly, the rain begins to fall hard. The flames surrounding the pole were defeated that leaves the ashes in a circle pattern. The rain continues to fall on the room; to fall on me. The water feels warm against my skin and every drop tickles me that I find myself grinning up the sky. This is the sign that I have made it. I've overcome the fourth stage. I've saved myself and Tobias.

Just when I mentioned his name on my mind, I take away my eyes from the sky and begin looking around me. Peter has gone. The impersonators have faded in sight. Eliza is no longer here anymore. Tobias is also nowhere to be seen. I peek over my shoulder to check if the other Tobias is still there; but my jaw falls open when I see nobody.

Am I… alone? Where is everyone? Where is _Tobias? _

I could release myself from this pole already anytime I want to but I choose to remain for a while. The idea that maybe Tobias was taken away with the simulators frighten me. That couldn't happen. That could _never _happen. I went in of this fear landscape with him and I'm going to get out of here with him. _Take a deep breath, Tris. Tobias is here and he is safe._

And then suddenly, like the same bolt from the blue that I felt on the first setup, someone arrives at the pole behind me and begins unscrambling the rope tangled around my wrists. My shoulders lift in surprise that I automatically peek over my shoulder with the hope that it's Tobias, not someone else I do not expect.

I haven't held my tongue anymore; and I don't think I should; I blurt out his name with relief and joy evident on my voice. "Tobias!"

Once I'm finally released from the pole, I toss the rope on the pavement and crouches right in front of him to throw my arms around him for a snug embrace. I don't care if the surface is wet or if my jeans get dirty. I don't care, I don't care, and I don't care. What matters at this moment is that he is back, he is here, and his arms are wrapped around me as though he doesn't want to let go. This is the real him. This is the Tobias that I love.

I lean back to search for his expression and there I see how his eyes scream bliss now that we're together again. But for me… it isn't just the same. Don't get me wrong. We've been separated from each other since I arrived at the ocean. I was searching for him but I couldn't see any sign of him. I was _so _scared to death when I thought I was left alone; when I thought I wouldn't have him back; when the simulation duplicated him. My emotions are varied right now that I can't tell if I would cry or I would bury my face on his shirt.

"Are you crying?" he jerks a tear from my cheeks. I didn't realize that I've already started it. "Tris—"

"I thought… I thought I lost you. You were… you were gone from my sight when I found myself under the ocean. I couldn't… I couldn't see you."

And then yes, I'm really crying. I can't talk without my words being muddled.

"Listen, Tris." He frames my face with both hands. "You didn't lose me. Something has just happened during the moment we're inside the tank."

"W-what do you mean?" I say between hiccups. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

He jerks another tear from my cheek. "We didn't hit the glass at the same time."

I narrow my eyes. "We did, right? We even checked on each other to see if we're both ready and… and yes we were. What d—"

"I hit the glass first, Tris." He says. "I hit it _first_. You were a few seconds delayed. I was forced to shut my eyes as I was being taken away from the tank. I didn't know at first that you aren't with me. I also thought we did it at the same time but once I woke up, I'm already tied on the pole. I tried to look for you around the room; I was expecting to see you tied on the opposite side but I saw no sign of you. All that was there were Peter, Eliza, and the clone of your friends. I couldn't see you anywhere."

"So… so you mean to say that… that you were the one tied on the opposite side of the pole? I-I still don't get it."

"Okay," he releases a breath. "Remember the voice talking to you while you were drowning in the ocean?"

I give myself a fraction of seconds to recall the voice that he's referring to. I was screaming that time, assuming that someone might hear and come to rescue me when a voice suddenly spoke to me. _When you are drowning in a simulation, what do you do? _The voice asked me. _Will you scream? Of course not. You do not wait to be told of what you should do especially in this kind of situation. _It says. _You must know it yourself because this is your fear, not someone else's._

"Tris, that was me." He continues. "That was me speaking to you."

"H-how?"

"The simulation showed me that you're left in the ocean while I got on the pole earlier than you did. When the simulation has detected that I was helping you, it decided to trick you once you surpass the ocean. It molded another copy of me which is designed exactly how I'm featured. But the simulation knew that it just might be easy for you to identify who the real and the fake one is so it transferred my soul to the impersonator's body while the soul of that impersonator was passed on my body."

"So… you were the one… the one beside Eliza? Why did you suddenly show up? You aren't there at the first place."

"The simulation decided to deliver me on the scene when you showed a puzzled expression. The one beside Eliza was the fake one's body and my soul combined. The one on the other side of the pole was my body and the fake one's soul. So if you have noticed, I couldn't move away from Eliza because the fake body doesn't want to. Likewise, my copycat on the other side of the pole won't do anything to save the two of you because his soul doesn't cooperate with my body. My body wanted to move; it wanted to release itself and you from the pole but the soul in it—which belongs to the fake one—didn't want to collaborate. The forged soul was trying to act like _me_. He was trying to talk through the same way I do. He wanted you to believe him. He—"

"I didn't." I mutter. "I didn't believe him. I-I listened to you. I listened to your soul inside that artificial body. I knew, Tobias, that that was you. That was you talking. You aren't moving but I had the feeling that you were there. And… and I was right."

I shut my eyes for a portion of seconds and utter a brief prayer that when I open them, Tobias is still here. I felt a finger tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear and a pair of lips kissing my nose. Finally I open my eyes and find him staring at me before my vision. In such bliss, I throw my arms around him which causes for us to land on the surface; he lies on his back while I lie on top of him.

He inclines his head to reach for my face and we both seal our eyes. When he kisses me gently on the lips, the simulation begins to take us to the fifth stage.

Xxxx

"This is your… room in Abnegation?" Tobias takes a short tour around the room, casting his attention on every object. I don't know what he thinks about this plain four-cornered room but to me, it seems abandoned. Perhaps neither Mom nor Dad visits this room. I don't blame them. This place might just make them remember that their daughter has chosen Dauntless over Abnegation and the feeling won't be good.

"Yes," I answer, "No much furniture allowed. Self-indulgence, they say."

"Abnegation protocol," he inserts. I nod.

We stand at the middle of the room for a portion of seconds as though we're here for reality. But the case is we aren't. Anytime they're going to come and reach for me. Maybe they're just waiting for me to do something; such as picking up an object in this room or parting my lips to talk about the memories that have happened in this place. Assuming that that might be true, I cautiously wander around my room as Tobias stays on his perspective.

I stop in front of the door and had the idea of twisting the knob open. Somehow I want to find out if I would be taken back to our Abnegation house and I'm going to see my parents. But since this is just a simulation, I might discover the opposite. I just might disappoint myself with the fact that I am now a Dauntless member and I have left Abnegation for it.

But still, part of me believes that the pathway to downstairs is outside this door. Part of me is desperate to have a glimpse of our house again and that sensation drives me to settle my hand on the doorknob.

"Careful, Tris." Tobias advises.

I didn't look at him but I heard what he said. My hand trembles as I gradually twist the knob open and as I hear the creak of it follows after. But I haven't opened it on broader form yet when to my surprise, a group of men covered in masks and consists of a number that I haven't checked, shove me on the floor as I lost my balance. I begin to squeal when two of them pull me through my legs to send me out of the room while I strive to hold onto the floor so I won't be carried away. Tobias quickly makes a move, then. He thrust the two men responsible on my feet until I knew that I was dropped. I heard series of punches and groans as I remain lying flat on the floor for a portion of seconds. But when the two other men appear before my vision and I figured that they're going to reach for me, I swiftly rise from where I lie with an alarmed mind and body.

One of them has seized my arm and launches my back against his chest. He wraps his robust arm around my neck, squashing my throat, and before I could attain to scream, he's covered my mouth with a black handkerchief. On the other side of the room, I could still hear the thumps and groans. I knew Tobias is still encountering with the two other men who now happens to be three since the companion of this man holding me has joined them. My heart beats hard like a cannonball yet at the same time I'm catching for my breath.

When I can't tolerate the lack of air anymore, I fly my hands over the handkerchief and have touched his knuckles. I attempt to throw his hand away despite of how sturdy he is and of how many times I fail. Tobias wouldn't do this alone. I would release myself off of this man and I won't stop until that happens.

Eventually, on my seventh try, I have tossed his control over me. I scratch the back of his hand with my nails and he loses his hold on me which I take as an advantage to shove him on the ground. And in there, I imagine that he is the same Molly whom I beat during initiation. I pay his face no mercy and does it until he has bleed enough and it seems as though he can no longer fight. When I've stood up from where I crouched, I spot the blood prints on my knuckles. I instantly turn my back around when Tobias arrives on my thoughts. He squats on the floor with the three men lying unconscious before him; he's evidently tall even on that kind of position; and his back figure says it all: he's strong, multi-skilled, and a prodigy. I've only beat one of the four men but he's done the business with three.

I amble towards him and pat his shoulder.

He looks up to me and I was stunned with the expression that he showed. He didn't give me that helpless impression like those of many people would show after a fight. His face is composed as if what just happened is chickenfeed.

He rises from where he crouches so I pull my hand away. As usual, I would feel shorter than I should when he straightens his viewpoint. But right now I don't care about that. I like looking up to him and searching for his eyes as he takes my hand with his. And the moment I tilt my head down to our laced fingers, we are conveyed to the sixth stage.

Xxxx

"Welcome, Beatrice Prior and Tobias Eaton." A voice with a brogue greeted us. "How are you doing so far?"

When I inspect the room where we are, I figured it was sort the same as the room on my fourth fear. It's dusky and unpredictable. The only light that it has is the light being provided by a bulb above the ceiling. On the other side of the room is, however, a table where a set of three guns is settled. Then from a dim part of the room, the woman who owns the voice recently, emerges.

She has the business-like aura on how she wears her pair of heels, dark pencil skirt, and striking blue crisp blouse; not to mention how her eyeglasses settle on the tip of her nose which also gives her the impression of a classy woman. She walks on the middle of the room and stops by the edge of the table. For a while she examines the pistols one by one as though she's searching for any faults about them. I just lay my eyes on her as she does that and to my surprise, Eliza is the first one who enters my mind.

_Jeanine adopted me. She said she's transform me into something more. And so I believed her and all her shit. _

Eliza has gained much anger for Jeanine as we talked about her past in the infirmary. I saw the paint on her face that she wanted Jeanine to pay her for all the shit that she's done to her. She also wished she could devastate her and everything that she owns but the Iris inside her told her to just let it go and so she did.

But right now, as I stand here and watch Jeanine, I feel like the furious Eliza is in my soul. I look at her with hatred that I want to reach for a gun and shoot her with it. This is still me, I'm certain of it, but when I locate myself to the state of affairs that Eliza has undergone, I knew that I would also desire to get my revenge like she wanted to.

"It's time," she finally speaks again. She picks up a pistol and offers it to me. "Come and get it, Beatrice."

I look at the gun then to her. "Why should I follow?"

She tries to smile at me in a friendly manner but it doesn't look good on her.

"Because I told you so. Now, if you don't want to get this, I'd just offer it to Mr. Eaton."

She inclines her hand to Tobias. "_Oh_. Look who I am facing right now. Marcus Eaton's son. The boy with four fears. Dauntless instructor and prodigy. And… Eliza's other half."

"Not anymore," he corrected her, referring to the last part. "And why do you still have to hand us that weapon if you could attain to shoot yourself?"

I want to burst to laughter with Tobias's mockery and with how Jeanine raises a brow on him but I control myself. Jeanine takes the pistol back to the table and has decided to just focus on me rather than on Tobias.

"So, Beatrice… I've heard that it's been a long while now since you haven't seen your family. Your parents remain in Abnegation while your brother, Caleb, is enjoying his company on my faction. In that case I presume that you badly want to see them again… right now. Don't you?"

_Yes_, I say in my mind. _I want to see them. I want to talk to them. But not this way. Not with you in this room. _

"Well, well, well… it seems like it's taking you so long to response but I knew that your answer is going to be yes. Therefore, I would pay you some consideration on that and just give them to you."

And then, like a poof of magic, my family stands on sequence at the corner of my eye. I turn into that direction and felt the urge to run to where they are to enfold them in an embrace. Dad stands before Mom who's followed by Caleb. Looking at them makes me feel so nostalgic although our lives have been plain in Abnegation. My dad hasn't cut his hair shorter yet; it tickles the roof of his ears. My mom still owns that gentle face where a sad smile has emerged. My brother, Caleb, seems very Erudite with his pair of glasses on and hands inside his pockets. I want to approach them; I badly want to. I don't care if this is just a simulation; what matters to me is that they are here and I am facing them. Nobody can prevent me from doing this.

With the longing to gather them in my arms, I left the area of where I stand and walk toward them. But at the midst of reaching my Mom, something heavy and metallic appears into my right hand. When I bring it before my sight, I see the gun which Jeanine was offering to me lately.

"Shoot them, Beatrice, or I'll shoot them for you." Jeanine orders.

I stare at the weapon dumbfounded for a portion of seconds until Jeanine repeats her order. Tobias says something behind me but I didn't hear him clearly. My mind is on chaos right now to even obtain any signal of communication. My hand trembles as it carries the weight of the gun which I can't bear to hold for a longer span of time.

And then suddenly, someone speaks again. Not Jeanine, not Tobias. But rather… my selfless mother.

"It's okay, Beatrice." She managed to say with a smile. "We understand."

"If you're thinking that we're going to be mad with you…" my Dad shakes his head. "No, that's not true. Everything would just be fine."

"Mom and Dad are right, Beatrice." Caleb inserts. "You're brave. You can do this."

"No," I murmur. "No… just… _no_. I am… I am not brave to shoot the three of you. I can't. And… I won't. I won't do that. I would never do that to you."

"Yes you can, Beatrice." My mother says. "We promise. It'll be just fine."

"I said no!" I give in. "I'd rather shoot myself than shoot you with my own conscience!"

"You're not going to do that." My Dad commands. "Not yourself. We are now here in front you. You could just do it to us."

"No," I gradually lift my hand up to the temple length. There I point the barrel of the gun. "I'd rather do it to myself."

Then the bang of the pistol echoes in the room.

**A/N: Hello there! First of all, I apologize for not updating yesterday. I was at the midst of writing this chapter when I realized that I haven't collected my thoughts well. I didn't want to update with a puzzled mind (and I hope I wrote this chapter with a fixed one). Second, sorry if haven't grant my vow that I would make the three fears left fit in this chapter. I began typing this chapter at 12 noon and it's already 7:46 p.m. here in my country. That means to say that I was trying not to get destructed by the internet (expect for Youtube; I was listening to Paramore, Flyleaf, and Daughtry while typing.) and I was pausing every ten seconds to gather the ideas that I have planned. For me, this chapter **_**is **_**an achievement. It might sound silly to some of you but it really is. When I sat down to the floor with the laptop in front me, I knew this chapter would be difficult to write. I even doubt myself a bit that I may not finish this today due to being anxious of the thought that I'd be lost for words. But now… now that I've overcome the fear of typing this chapter… I feel so, so, so, happy. And I want you guys to know that YOU are ones who helped me to surpass that fear. Although I know that I am not the best, you still give me the feeling of, "**_**I can so I will"**_** through your positive and negative reviews which serve as both my motivation and teacher to do better with the next chapters that I'd do. **

**I know I've said this lot of times before already but I'd never get tired of saying it.**

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.**

**God bless your beautiful souls, **

**Iris Molefoursted**


	39. Chapter Thirty Nine

**A/N: I'm baaaaaack! Sorry for not updating in three days, guys. There're just a couple of works on school so I had no enough time to update Chapter 39. But since today's Friday & we have no much home works, I'm giving you the last chapter of Tris' fear landscape. This i what you and I are all waiting for, the seventh fear! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does.**

**Enjoy reading!**

**Chapter Thirty Nine: We Have Something Brave**

**Tris' POV**

The sixth fear still has an aftershock on me even when we've already moved onto the next stage. I and Tobias stand in another room which seems quite abandoned but I knew it's different from my room back in Abnegation. The time of the day in here is evening that is why the only light that we possess is the light angled with dust like a spotlight from the outside. A double size bed, which has a clean sheet and a pair of pillows, is located at the center of the room. If I didn't know what brought us here at the first place, I would probably wonder what this is for like Tobias does. But because I'm aware since long ago of why my seventh fear happens in a room, all I do is to watch and wait for Tobias to ask me for his curiosity's sake.

But he doesn't. At the midst of turning his head on every corner of the room, he spots me staring at him. I wished I could instantly avoid his gaze and pretend that I wasn't looking but I didn't have the chance. Slowly, he moves toward me with hands on his pockets. I was sort of obliged that he doesn't bring them out because if he does, he would touch me and I just might dodge with that. I don't know why I wasn't feeling this when he kissed me on the fourth stage yet now I'm trying to keep him standing on his feet so he won't be able to make a move on me.

The matter is I couldn't control him. I couldn't tell him straight away, too. What is the purpose of this last stage if he wouldn't see it himself? I brought him here with me because I wanted him to know me better, not because it felt like a burden. If I would want to commit to him as his other half, I would let my guard down so I'd be able to show him a part of the background of my character. And because I do love him and I'm certain of that, I did it.

"I guess you're still thinking 'bout the previous stage?" he says.

I gulp for air and plant my hands on my hips. "I think so. I was almost convinced that it's real. In fact, everything seemed real already even from the start. This isn't how my fear landscape went like during initiation. It was… different."

"Perhaps it's because you aren't alone anymore." He makes a sign that he's about to bring his hands out but he doesn't do so. "You became much braver than before, Tris. You call yourself selfish? That girl who shot herself to save her family is selfish? I'll tell you what I think." He takes a hand out from one of his pockets to rub my cheek with his thumb but I surprise myself—and _him_—when I abruptly deviate from his upcoming touch. He looks at me with bewilderment as he brings his hand down and I don't blame him on that case for I knew that I showed such bizarre response.

When he noticed the variation of distance between us, he locks those eyes that state a hint of pain on mine. I hate for him to think that I don't love and trust him but this status quo doesn't come as easy as telling him that I do. I'm worried this may go the other way wherein he'd ponder that I'm afraid of him when true to the point, I'm just afraid of _being _with anyone. But since the objective of this simulation is to overcome the thing that scares you, I would drive myself in there. We don't stand in this room for me to smack on his knowledge that I'm so scared in a way that I can't obtain to stay with him. We stand in here for me to let him know that I would face this fear because I _want _to be with him.

"Tobias," I say. But when I stop on the mention of his name, I don't know what comes next. He's still giving me that look—that look of questions in series. He seems as though he has something to ask but he isn't certain if it's worth asking for. "Please don't think that… that I'm avoiding you and that I'm angry."

What the hell are you thinking Tris? You just did it. You just kept him from touching you. The only thing that's true from what I said is the second part. I see no reason to be mad with him.

For a fraction of seconds I wait for him to utter a word. But I guess I got my hopes up on a higher rate that he would do so because I end up releasing a sigh when he didn't. He just stands there with his hand back in his pocket and his gaze fixed on mine which makes me regret my previous behavior. I wish I could reach for him and lay a hand on him as simple as I did during the times that we held before. I also wish we aren't just standing before each other in this room with silence enfolding us in complete anxiety.

Or maybe I'm the only one who feels that way. Something happens through the corner of my eye that catches my attention immediately. A figure of a man standing as tall as Tobias appears on the edge of the bed. It's easy for me to recognize who the real and fake one is unlike on the fourth stage because with this, the impersonator is half-naked, revealing his strong muscles and chest. He gives me a seductive look which alarmed me of what he's going to do. This was the reason why Eric and the other Dauntless leaders laughed at me when they watched me go through this stage.

Tobias's impersonator begins walking toward me. When I miss a step backward, Tobias finally shows a specific reaction. He turns his head to its left and I detect that he was quite surprised to see his own self, on a pair of jeans, no shirt on. We both knew that we are still here in my fear landscape and by the word _fear_; I knew what Tobias would think.

He takes his attention back to front view. "You're… scared of me?"

The moment he spoke, his impersonator pauses. He sounded husky when he asked me if I am scared of him but I knew that in his mind, he has already answered for himself. His answer is yes. But mine is, "I'm _not_ scared of you, Tobias. It's not. It's not how you think."

He shifts his eyes onto his impersonator, leaving me with no word. If I'm correct with my guess, he's examining his mannerisms. Like him, he's also keeping his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. He tries to imitate the way Tobias looks at me but his version comes as foolish and non-Tobias.

Finally, after studying his double, Tobias turns back to me. I hope the half-naked impression somehow gave him a clue.

"You're scared of liaison with me." He says, and it's not a question. It came from him as a _fact_. "Why, Tris? We've showed affection for each other a couple of times before and I thought you were okay with that. Why is it that until _now_? Haven't you come to… to trust me enough?"

His impersonator remains on the corner of my eye but I pay no heed on him. I switch my perspective to the right direction and Tobias follows my motion. It is not my intent to walk from pillar to post to play games with him but I need to collect my thoughts. I don't want to utter anything foul that could turn this conversation down.

Finally, after giving myself a while to think, I've arrived to the point of what I want to say.

"I know. I know it was a silly thing to pull away from the moment at the training room." I recall how zealous our kiss on the table was and felt a mixture of assurance and stupidity; assurance because in my part, it was just right for me to break the kiss. The training room wasn't the proper place. The thing that I found as stupid is that I told Tobias that I love him yet I wasn't fully on edge with his arms _around _me. Part of me is flashing back to the night when Peter almost threw me off the chasm and when he followed Eliza's order to frighten me.

But why do I have to keep on going back to those things that have passed? Tobias is _not _Peter. And I couldn't stay in this relationship if I would just base everything on that experience and on being the former Abnegation girl who's been used with the plain manner of expressing love to a person. I and Tobias are attached now. Why would I settle for a modest way to show him that my love is invincible when what we _have _is brave?

To love means leaving your comfort zone.

After a short pause, I continue with my statement.

"I also know that I couldn't be scared of this for much longer. I would be unfair to you in that case and I don't want to be. I love you, Tobias. I really do. And now I know that your touch means to protect and to hold me, not anything else. I know that you wouldn't push me on that thing unless we're both ready."

He just stares at me right after I've spoken what my thoughts are about. He didn't response immediately and I took that to consideration that he might be earning the words to say. But after a while of silence, when he's finally parted his lips to speak, I hold my breath releases it.

"I love you too, Tris." He says in his deep voice. "There's no need for us to rush. The right time will come when we can… we can…"

I perceive the sudden edginess on his tone that wasn't there during the prior stages. I've never seen him this nervous before, not even when we were inside the tank. It is a different type of anxiety which, for me, is what makes him a _man _and what makes him Tobias.

Recently I was the one who avoided his touch. But after arriving to that realization, I am now the one who'd approach him. I'm just about to leave the area of where my feet are when suddenly, a pair of sturdy arms wraps around my waist from behind, pressing me against a torso. When I release myself from the hold and turns around to see who that is, Tobias's impersonator stands so close to me. I didn't think that I've already forgotten about his presence. He shall fade soon. No—he shall fade _now_. But the words that I and Tobias said to each other might not be enough to overcome this stage.

I would have to touch him. He runs his fingers through my hair down to the tips which is an act that commands me to grab him by the back of his neck and crush our lips together. But he isn't Tobias. He's not the one I'm committing myself with. He's just a figure created by the simulation that won't even exist in reality so why would I bestow a moment with him?

If I'm going to spend one last moment in this fear landscape before it ends, it would be with the real Tobias who's standing behind me.

I take the impersonator's hand away from my hair and turn my back to Tobias. He isn't prepared with what I'm about to do as much as I don't need to think twice if I shall do this. I close the space left between us; stand on my tiptoes, snatch him by the hem of his shirt, and press my mouth hard against his. His hands left his pockets and move around my waist as my fingers run through his hair. He kisses me back in the same urgent way that he did at the training room wherein he inclines his head forward while I tilt mine backward, our bodies and hearts following the same rhythm.

Soon, when the impersonator's presence has vanished, Tobias takes gentle control of the kiss. From my waist, his hands move upward to frame my face which he uses as support to ask for an entrance. When I open my mouth to his, I return the same tender kiss with my hands settled on the small of his back.

Tobias pulls away but not so far. Our noses and foreheads touch as his hands remain framed on my face and mine stays at where they are. Once the heavy breaths have subsided, he searches for my eyes and asks me, "Are you still scared?"

At some extent, I stand on my tiptoes again and smile as I brush my lips against his.

"Not anymore."

**A/N: That's the end of Tris' fear landscape! : ) something's going to happen when Tobias and Tris come back to reality which will be another challenge in their relationship. Find out what it is on the upcoming updates! : )**

**Till the next chapter,**

**Iris Molefoursted **


	40. Chapter Forty

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. **

**Chapter Forty: Four and Six**

**Tobias's POV**

It's almost afternoon when I and Tris walk hand in hand into my apartment. I don't know for how long we were in her fear landscape but in my estimation, it has been an hour. It's also a worth of time. I've seen the partial of her fears during initiation wherein she faced them alone but when we did it together it was a different story. I had a better understanding of who she is through witnessing the things that scare her and we were tested on how potent our faith to each other is.

Now, as I get the keys of my apartment and open the door for her, we knew we don't have to do it this quick. It doesn't mean that her seventh fear has pulled down we're going to attain that phase right away. Tris is brave, smart, and maybe she's not that pretty for the word is too small to describe her. She is different from the other girls that I have met and she's not something I'm going to hassle my desires with. At this moment I just want to hold her close, no pressure.

"Fear God Alone," Tris mutters under her breath as I close the door behind me. She's referring to the quotation painted on my wall which she has already seen when I brought here after being attacked by Peter and his company. I stand next to her before the wall and read the "Fear God Alone" in my mind although it's frequently the first thing that I see every morning that I wake up.

Tris turns away from the wall and takes a look around the room. I immediately spot the tip-off of worry on her face so I approach her cautiously to assure of what she's thinking.

"Don't trouble yourself about it, Tris." I say. "You have my word."

She inclines her head on my direction. "I know." And then she gives me an easy smile. "And it's not that. I just remembered the first time that you brought me here when we were just Four and Tris. I didn't think it's been long now."

"What do you mean by the second part?"

She angles herself to front view to face me. "What I mean is that… we just used to be this instructor and initiate who shares nothing special other than the training and all. I didn't know you well as much as you have no idea 'bout how my fear landscape is like. But now… now we do."

No. Not yet, at least. She still has something to know about me. She might have noticed the disapproval on my expression so she slightly furrows her brows and asks me,

"Why, Tobias? Is there something else that… that you aren't telling me?"

As a matter of fact, this is not very personal. This won't even affect her or us or anybody. I just feel like this little thing still has to be a part of her knowledge as my girlfriend.

And so, to assure her that this is as no big secret as my past, I smile at her.

"Tattoos," I simply say. "It's about my tattoos."

"Tattoos?" she echoes.

"I have the five factions' symbols on my back. I got them two years ago during my own initiation."

"Can I see them?"

I'm sort of surprised with her blunt enthusiasm that I haven't spoken right ahead. She looks up to me with a slight embarrassment, making her look so innocent. It's not that I don't want to show her my tattoos. I'm not just very comfortable with people watching me close; of exposing my physique. But Tris is no longer a 'somebody' to feel awkward around with. We are each other's halves now and we would remain that way.

"Are you asking me to undress, Tris?" I ask.

I detect that her cheeks turn quite flushed with the question. She couldn't look at me straight. She shifts her eyes onto my shirt, bites her lower lip, and blinks a lot of times before looking back to me to say, "Yes. I-I mean… I just want to see… to see the tattoos."

I watch her face as it slowly goes back to its natural color then finally gets to the point of baring myself. I gradually pull off the shirt that I'm wearing, my hair tousled when the hole passes by my head. I toss the shirt onto the bed which is on my left and I instantly feel the warmth of the room embracing my body. Tris is staring on every part of me when I switch my focus back to her. At the outset, I didn't need her to look at me, even when we were still on the process of initiation. But I've realized that I feel better when her eyes are on me, like now.

She reverses our position by going behind me. She begins tracing my tattoos with the first and largest symbol that I've got for myself. The Dauntless symbol. Below that is the Abnegation symbol which is quite smaller than the fire branded in a circle, signifying bravery. Then after the sign of hands reaching for each other which is for selflessness, are the rest of the symbols being represented by Candor, Erudite and Amity.

I twirl around to face Tris once she's reached the last tattoo on the small of my back. Her eyes flicker—I don't know—when she looks up to me. Amazement? Anxiety? _Desire_?

And then suddenly, before I could guess, she says something that I'm able to hear without asking for a repeat.

"I _want _you, Tobias." She utters. "I want you. But… but like what we said, this is not the time."

"Yet," I insert. "It's not the time _yet_. Are you sure you're no longer scared?"

At first, she looks hesitant. But then she gulps for air and starts running her fingers soothingly along my torso. "I'm sure. And I mean it."

I fix my eyes on her as she continues to touch me. Everything about her is salient in a distinctive way which will probably make her stand out among a smorgasbord of tall and pretty ladies. I don't think there will be anyone else like her. If she tries to protest on that, I wouldn't let her finish.

"So you only have six fears left." I say. That's the second smallest number of fears that the Dauntless has after mine.

She traces her fingers down and wraps her hands around my waist, pressing herself closer. "Yes. Four and Six. You and me."

"People shall call you that way then once initiation begins again."

"Right." She beams. "And I'm going to be as intimidating as my instructor when I was still an initiate."

I laugh. "You could do better than that. I bet you might even be scarier than I was."

She laughs too. "We'll see."

And once the laughter has subsided between us, I slowly frame her face with both hands and leans down. We tease each other first by rubbing our noses and exchanging smiles before bringing our lips together. When I find her lips parted at the midst of smiling, I begin kissing her in a tender way. I pull away every once in a while to put ourselves on ease then makes the kiss urgent bit-by-bit when our lips meet again.

I lift her up, my hands on her legs so she won't fall. She deepens the kiss as this time she's the one framing my face. I take her with me as I try to search for the bed with eyes sealed and when my feet find its foot, I sit on the bed sheets to take mild control of the kiss. Soon, when we have settled down, we decided to just cuddle on my bed. I tuck an arm beneath her head; she rests her head on my bicep, and gathers the blanket closer to us. Today has been sort of exhausting for her because of her fear landscape so I thought she might want to get some sleep.

We lie there for a longer while until I knew that she's no longer awake. I heard her sleeping breaths which serve as a rhythm for me to fall asleep too. But before I settle to sleep, I kiss her hair first and mutter, "I love you, Tris."

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

"Over here, guys!" Christina waves a hand when I and Tobias enter the dining hall for dinner. I gave her a nod before we go to the counter to grab food. After that, we reach for the table. I take the seat beside Christina while Tobias sits before me. Across from us are Shauna, Zeke, and Uriah. Uriah is aligned with Tobias—which makes me think if this is going to be awkward. But as jolly as he is, Uriah turns to us with complete easiness.

"You know what? I got myself a slice of Dauntless cake and went back here in the table with excitement to eat it. I just left for a while to find myself a drink then when I came back, I found no cake anymore. Guess who ate it?"

"Zeke," Tobias says.

"Exactly!"

I laugh. Uriah scowls at his brother and Zeke catches him doing so. "What?" he asks. "Can't get over with the cake?"

"You should have got one for yourself rather than eating mine, you know."

"Well you should have got yourself _another _one rather than blaming me for it over and over again."

"I'd rather drag one's feet than get another slice and find you eating it by yourself again."

"Oh shut up."

I find myself smiling with these brothers' humor and with the realization that these are my _real _friends, not those who were in the simulation. It gives me the feeling of luck that I have them—these people—in my life to provide support and care. At the same time, I'm also glad that there are no hard feelings between Tobias and Uriah. Uriah might have confessed that he feels something for me but lately I was observing the way he looks at Marlene. _He really likes her_, I thought, and that's what he has told me at the infirmary so it's true.

At the midst of finishing my plate, Christina nudges me on the elbow. She leans closer to me and whispers something in my ear that's quite impossible for anyone to hear.

"Hey," she says at the first place. "Have you noticed that guy since you arrived here with Four?"

I'm about to feed myself with the spoon of chicken tidbits but I had to pay some heed on Christina for I didn't get what she asked.

"_Who?" _

She rolls her eyes. "_That _guy."

She pouts her lips to point to a table that's just a few feet away from ours. I peek over Shauna's shoulder to at least have a glimpse of the person she's talking about but I couldn't find any sign.

"Where?" I ask.

"That one sitting beside the girl with a purple dye on her hair. Do you see now?"

I found him. He has a dark brown hair and an evident quality of being tall even when he's not on his feet. One second he's laughing with the Dauntless boy sitting across from him then another second he's looking at me in an alarming way. I'm not certain if he's on the same age as me but I guess he's eighteen like Tobias, or probably a year older than him. I've seen a lot of Dauntless members already strolling around the compound but I don't think he's one of them. Perhaps he always sticks with the crowd.

"Don't you know that he's been watching you for minutes now?" Christina hisses. "And don't you find that disturbing?"

I look at Christina. "Are you sure?"

"Of course." She says with slang. "He might be quite handsome Tris but why would he look at you that way? That way as though… as though he has something in mind."

I narrow my eyes. "Now that's disturbing."

"Maybe he likes you?"

"That's bizarre."

And I don't like the idea. I haven't either met or talked to him for the life of me as a Dauntless. If Christina is right that he is watching me for minutes now—and maybe it's true because she's Candor—then I'm asking myself at this second of _why _is he doing so.

_What_ does he has on mind?

_Who is he? _


	41. Chapter Forty One

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent, Ms. Veronica Roth does. : )**

**Chapter Forty One: WHO**

**Tris' POV**

I focus on finishing my food rather than shifting eyes with that guy who keeps on looking at me. I try to imagine that maybe Christina has just misinterpreted him and that truly; Shauna is the objective of his attention. But when I glance at their table again, I felt my cheeks have flushed for he has caught me looking!

He doesn't think I meant that, right? Or… does he? He's probably thinking the other way now. _Don't you look at their table again, Tris. You don't know him. This may just be happening at some extent of a coincidence. _And that's what I hope. I go back on finishing my plate, setting the image of that guy aside. I can hear Will and Christina planning what to do sometime later this evening; Tobias and Zeke talking about something I don't have an idea about; Uriah teasing Marlene, Marlene passing the tease to Shauna, and Shauna passing it to Lynn whom I heard snap something funny back to Uriah.

A few minutes later, when I'm done, Tobias touches me on the shoulder which makes me sort of alert. I guess I've painted a startled expression on my face which makes him ask,

"Are you alright?"

_Am I alright?_

"Y-yes. Uh… shall we?"

"You want to rest now?"

As a matter of fact, I just slept this afternoon. When I glance at my watch, it's only seven p.m. sharp. Wouldn't it be flighty of me to go to bed on early time? Most of the Dauntless can stay up late until eleven midnight. There's a nightclub at the Pit where they are often active but I rarely spare my time there. I just hear the muddled sound of the music through the layers or rocks but even so, I fall asleep very soon.

"Well, you know… it's still a long night. What do you want to do?"

Tobias moistens his lips as he thinks of an idea.

"Would you like to watch the stars?"

"At the net? That'd be great."

To cover my previous reaction, I curve my lips into a smile. We rise from our seats with holding hands and excuse ourselves from the company. Christina has forgotten about the guy already since she doesn't make any face to me before we go and either don't I consider the idea of stealing one last look at him.

Side by side, I and Tobias take the exit from the dining hall. We're cracking up jokes to each other as we walk; some are sort of corny but we laugh anyway.

"My turn," Tobias says. "What do you call bears without ears?"

I tilt my head tentatively with matching furrowed brows. "Bears without ears?"

I see a flicker of smirk on his lips.

"Yeah, bears without ears. What do you call them?"

I escape a hysterical laugh. In my mind, I imagine the picture. I'm not that good at guessing and my answer might be a little foolish but I would give it a try.

"Hmmm…" I tap my chin. "Bare—s?"

He gives me that boyish grin that he possesses which is instantly followed by a burst of laughter. "Where did that come from?"

"Well… I thought bare means undecorated. And isn't a bear without ears is undecorated?"

Tobias stares at me with disbelief as though he's analyzing my answer and I, too, am wondering if what I just said makes sense. When we both figure out that we're like idiots questioning a silly answer through eye contact, we laugh at the same time.

I punch him at the arm playfully. "What's funny? Isn't it correct?"

"It's wrong." He says. "The answer is B."

"What?"

"_B._ You remove the word 'ears' from the word 'bears'. What do you get?"

I mouth the question to myself while I can hear Tobias holding back another laughter. After repeating the joke for a few more times in my mind, I finally understand it. I scowl at him for making fun of me recently and until now but because he has the ability to make me smile effortlessly ever since, I find myself doing so.

"Okay, my turn." I say.

I'm just about to begin telling my third joke now but somebody interrupted me. "Four!"

The voice is profound as it sounds; the kind of voice which, I think, suits those kinds of men who possess a tough figure exterior like Tobias.

We peek over our shoulders to see who just called Tobias by his nickname. At first sight, I had no idea who is him or if he has any connection with Tobias. But when Tobias greets him by name through an acquainted manner, I thought maybe something bonds them together.

"Hey, Brent."

"Hey," Brent approaches us. "How's it going?"

I stand there as I watch them do a brief friendly hug with a pat on the back.

"Well, good." Tobias says. "Haven't talked to you for a while."

"I know. I've been hanging out more often with another circle of friends recently."

While they do some chit-chat, I examine Brent's face and his features. He has a dark brown hair which, in my opinion, is cleanly trimmed. His nose is long like mine but with the size, and for the fairness of his manly figure, we aren't the same. But like Tobias, he has the advantage in height and the pair of sturdy muscles. Also, I think I've seen him before. Not just once. Twice, perhaps.

"I'm regularly hanging out the club." Brent tells Tobias. "So I guess I only see you by a whisker."

And as I continue to watch him, I finally arrive to the notion of how, where, and when did I see him.

"_Have you noticed that guy since you arrived here with Four?" Christina asked._

"_Where?"_

"_That one sitting beside the girl with a purple dye on her hair. Do you see now?"_

_I found him. He has a dark brown hair and an evident quality of being tall even when—_

_Wait._ Isn't that the same description which I had for Brent? And isn't this guy talking to Tobias right now the same guy whom Christina was referring to? Isn't he the guy who kept on staring at me at the dining hall?

My jaw falls open but I make sure I don't reveal distant reaction. I can't believe... I can't believe that they _knew_ each other. Moreover, they just greeted each other with a friendly hug matched with a pat on the back. Isn't that the gesture that boys who're well accustomed to each other do?

And why is it that I can't recall anything about them being friends?

Or… maybe like what I said, I haven't just seen him once. When I prolong to stare at his face, I figured that it wasn't my first time to see him at the dining hall. I have this feeling that somewhere—somewhere in the prior time, I've already encountered that face.

When was that again?

I blink my eyes and try to remember.

"_You're much heavier than Christina, Tris." Will says as he carries me on his back. Christina bites back laughter while I tell Will, "But Christina's got more weight than I do."_

"_Hey that's not true!" Christina protests Candor-like. "Take that back!"_

_I and Will laugh. As we continue to reach for the hallway through the dormitories, I remain hitched on Will's back. But suddenly, at the midst of passing by the Pit, Will stops walking so Christina does too._

"_Why did you stop?" I ask._

"_Uh-oh." Will says. "Instructor alert."_

_We hear conversation and laughter somewhere near the Chasm. When I turn my head on there, I see Four holding a bottle of beer while laughing with his friends. Immediately, I hop down from Will's back and the three of us stand there, waiting for Four to notice us. As expected, he did. _

"_Tris!" he calls. He sounds sort of different. Maybe he's forgotten that he's also eighteen. _

"_Oh… hey Four." I exchange a nervous look with Will and Christina. His hand is forced into the railing but he pulls it off to approach us. _

"_Where are you going?" one of his friends asks but he ignores it. I stare at the bottle of beer on his hand as he walks toward us. When he's reached us—me—the first thing that he says is, _

"_You look different." _

"_So do you," I tell him. My eyes askew and my lips curl a little, trying not to smile. "What are you doing?"_

_He laughs. "Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea."_

"_No, it isn't." I say._

Once those scenarios have formed shape in my mind, I realize that I was right: I've already seen Brent before. He was one of the guys that Tobias was drinking with near the chasm. He was the one whom Tobias ignored when he asked him where he was going. _They are friends. _But is it possible that Tobias has mentioned anything about me to Brent during the days of initiation? I'm still flashing back to how he looked at me at the dining hall. That is just strange. Why would be look at me like that? It's bothering me.

With all of these thoughts running in my mind all at the same time, I reckon that I'm almost lost in the scene. The moment I wake myself up and go back to reality, I hear Brent giving Tobias an invitation as his last word before he leaves.

"There's going to be a party tomorrow night at the club." He says. "I'm thinking maybe you and your girlfriend wants to come?"

This is the first time that he considers me since they began conversing and I'm sort of stunned that he knew about what's going on between me and Tobias. But anyway, I didn't even utter any word. I just stand there, exploring my thoughts, as they talk. Brent glances on my way as Tobias turns to me to ask for my opinion. "You like to come?"

"Uh…" I blink. "I-I don't know. I'll think about it. But I'm pretty sure that Christina would like the idea. How about you?"

Tobias nods as he turns back to Brent. "We'll decide. The party sounds good."

"Sure," Brent beams. "Hope to see you there."

Brent gives Tobias a pat on the shoulder and a small nod at me before turning to leave. Probably for Tobias the nod meant nothing. But to me, it was disturbing as how he was watching me during dinner. Christina might be right that he is quite handsome and yes let's get to the point that he's one of Tobias's good friends but—

But I won't settle on that. Tobias knows him but I don't. He may possess a somewhat pleasant face and he was being nice lately but still—he _is _bothering me. I don't feel good about him.

"So, let's get to the net?"

When Tobias appears on my vision, I blow the thought about Brent away and hold his hand. "Let's go."

**A/N: There comes another character! So guys, what do you think of Brent? What do you think is his motive between Tobias and Tris? Will it be for the good? Or he'd only bring trouble? I'd like to know what you think! : D**

**Also, I'm not sure if I'd be able to update tomorrow since we have a project for Biology and with the other subjects, but I would try to find some time to post another chapter. : )**

**Always grateful,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	42. Chapter Forty Two

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. : )**

**Chapter Forty Two: Brent**

**Tobias's POV**

I lay a hand out to Tris and she seizes it as I pull her onto the net. We lie down with our backs against the net holes, revealing a night sky covered through a blanket of stars twinkling in unison. I tuck both arms beneath my head while Tris angles herself on apt perspective in order to see the sky on better view. For a moment we just lie there with less actions and words. The two of us have our attention focused above which I suppose to be an instrument for moderation. It just means to say that we don't have to utter something all the time. It's good to know that you can be quiet without anyone questioning your silence.

I'm searching for the common constellations when I sense that Tris is watching me through the corner of my eye. I don't know if she's bothering to tell me something; I could only tell that she wants me to meet her gaze.

I incline onto her direction. "A penny for your thoughts?"

She isn't surprised with my sudden turn of consideration. In its place, she just blinks those wide grayish-blue eyes on me with a follow-up query, "Would you mind if I ask you something?"

I lift both brows and say, "I don't mind. What is that?"

She presses her lips. "Are you really friends with Brent?" Then when she realizes that it isn't the way she planned to ask it, she rephrases the question. "I mean… for how long do you know each other now?"

"Brenton," I look up the sky again. "That's his real name. But people call him Brent as for an alias. Two years ago, I was a transfer and he was a Dauntless-born."

"So… three years." She turns herself back to front view. "And you're good friends."

"Yes we are. We would hang-out like what usual friends do. But recently… we haven't done that. That also goes for the other Dauntless I'm acquaintance with."

But it isn't just about that. When I and Eliza were still together, she didn't want me spending too much time with anyone she doesn't relate to. As much as possible, she just wanted me to all herself. And although she knew Brent since two years ago like me, she didn't be-friend him. Brent didn't want either. He used to tell me that Eliza has an attitude problem that he won't like to deal with.

When Tris becomes quiet for a while, I stare at her face as she watches the sky above. I'm not certain if she has a problem with Brent but that was my basic guess.

"Why do you ask, by the way?"

"Nothing." She says. But I think she knew that I won't settle for that brief answer and so she inserts, "No, what I meant to say is… is that… I have a bad feeling about him."

Then she turns her eyes on me. "I know he's your friend and all that but… I just don't think he's someone I could trust. I didn't have a good first impression on him."

I figured Tris has a trivial trust issues just like me but with Brent, we aren't identical. Brent is, based on what I've observed about him during the years, a bystander. He's the type of person who likes to watch people in any action that they do; whether it's how they stand, how they talk, how they laugh, how they fix their eyes on him, and everything else. His judgment upon someone is grounded on what he witnesses. I don't really care on what he thought about me after he's read the newspaper published by Erudite. He shall know better than that if he's considered me as a friend since two years ago.

"Maybe you've just misinterpreted him." I tell her. "You could have a better opinion on him if you get to know him more."

"But Tobias," she looks at me again. "He was… he was watching me. I-I mean… at the dining hall. I caught him looking at me. It was… disturbing."

My forehead curls. "How did he watch you?"

"It's like he was observing the way I act. And if I'm right, isn't that strange? Why would he watch me?"

_Maybe it's because that's just him by nature; _I thought of saying. But maybe it's rather because I used to talk about Tris during her initiation. As a matter of fact, I and Brent used to talk about the training and the processes that we've faced when we were the ones who're under Amar's coaching. I remember that I've told him very little details about my initiates. I didn't reveal anything beyond personal about them—especially about Tris. And so I guess he was only watching Tris due to being a natural observer.

"Just don't mind about him. Brent really likes people-watch. I think it's sort of a Dauntless thing. Or perhaps he's scared with you for ranking first on the second stage of initiation."

She suddenly scowls at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Is that a joke?"

"How do you see it?"

"Were you telling things about me when you talk?"

"Everybody knows you ranked first, Tris. And I don't give away details that easily. So I'm saying maybe what happened at the dining hall meant nothing at all. Don't mind about it."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm still not convinced about him."

"I know. You don't have to deal with him that much and I am not going to force you to see him as a friend either. Tomorrow night's just going to be a party. It's a typical thing that the Dauntless do. Loud music. Lots of dancing and drinking. You need to enjoy yourself."

She gives herself little time to think about what I said. I wasn't speaking lately for Brent's benefit. I knew he has a different attitude apart from Will and Uriah whose personalities have been habituated with Tris.

After a while of silence, she presses herself closer to me and rests her head on my chest. I wrap an arm around her shoulder as she says, "That's still settled for tomorrow night. Let's not think about it for now. Look at the sky."

We both trace back to the view. I instantly find a common constellation called Betelgeuse while Tris points a finger to the Polaris. We just lie there on the net, pointing on each constellation that we see, talking about nothing personal. In my part, this is one of those good times that you could ever have in your life:

You say nothing for a while, or maybe for a long while, but that doesn't make you love the person any less.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

The night after yesterday at my apartment, I am at the bathroom when I hear a knock on the door. "Wait a second!" I call out. But the knock just goes two more times until it sounds louder.

"Hurry, Tris!"

It's easy to tell what makes Christina excited like that during this time of the night. She is never late in knowing about the events occurring here in the compound. Surely she's got here for the party. And speaking of that one, I and Tobias have decided to come. He said he just might be a little late but he wouldn't miss it. He has also permitted me to get there first although I suggested for us to arrive together. But anyway, Christina isn't a bad company after all. I don't mean anything foul about that. What I only mean to say is that it's guaranteed to be a make-over session when you're going to a party with Christina and you don't want to argue over that stuff.

I shut the door of the bathroom behind me. "I'm coming!"

And when I open the door for her, she stands before me through those high heels and looks pretty with the purple dress matched with a pair of earrings with the same color.

Her expression lights up. "You know why I come!"

I haven't asked her to come in yet but she's invited herself already. She drops a bag on my bed which I'm certain is the bag where her make-up tools are. But as I take a closer look on it, it seems bigger than it should be. Christina turns into my direction and seizes my arm.

"Make-over time, Tris!"

She holds me on both shoulders as she sits me down the bed. "And I also brought a dress for you!"

"This is for the party, isn't it?"

Yes I know it is. But I'm not that excited. I haven't been into lot of parties before. Although I'm kind of aware about what's a party's about, there's still the fact that I was used with the plain living back from Abnegation.

"Right." She begins bringing her make-ups out from the bag. "Will's coming too. I'm not just sure if Marlene and the rest will join in but that'd be better right? And oh. Is Four coming?"

"Of course,"

For a sassy girl like Christina, make-up is manageable in less than ten minutes. She put a typical extent of powder on my face, combining it with a lipstick marked on my lips. After that, she asks me to wear the dress that she's brought. It's a sleeveless cocktail tube dress striking in black coordinated with a pair of white heels, making me somehow taller. I'm a little uncomfortable with these on me but Christina just chuckles and say, "Just for tonight, Tris. You look beautiful!"

I won't even win against Christina if I point out that compliment again. I know I'm not pretty; not like the other girls who possess those heights and curves but I certainly prefer to be noticeable than that. And tonight, that's how I shall feel.

We leave my apartment when all has been done. As we trace the pathway to the night club, I decided to tell Christina about my discovery that Tobias is friends with the guy who kept on watching me during dinner last night.

"_They're friends?_"

"Yes. His name is Brent; a nickname for Brenton. In fact, he was the one who invited me and Tobias at the party."

"Oh." She raises a brow. "You've got to be careful. It might be silly to think strange about him but it's better to be aware of what's going on. You barely know that guy. But well… like what I said, he's… you know… quite handsome."

I roll my eyes with a smirk. "Much more handsome than _your _Will?"

"Of course not!" she protests. "He's the only one."

Just how Tobias described a Dauntless party, loud music, combination of conversations and laughter welcomed me and Christina. In every part of the club is a Dauntless member either drinking, dancing, or making some noise. Christina initially found Will waiting for us on the counter so she grabs me by the arm to get there quick.

"Hey!" Christina calls above the noise.

Right in front of me, the two of them shared a brief yet tender kiss. I take the seat on the stool next to Will while Christina prefers on her feet. The Dauntless moves with freedom before me which I find as a fascinating view.

"What are we doing here?" Christina tries to sound clear despite of the loud music. "Let's dance!"

Will turns to me. "Tris, let's go!"

"I'll just stay here for a while. I'm waiting for Tobias to come. He might not be able to find me in the crowd once he arrives."

"You sure you'll be fine here?" Christina asks.

"Of course she'll be fine." Will inserts.

I nod on the two of them with a smile. "Enjoy the dance floor."

As they join the other Dauntless members in unison through the rhythm, I remain seated on the stool. Tobias said he wouldn't be too late tonight. And so, I get to the point of providing myself a small glass of beer asked from the bartender on the counter. It's not my intent to get drunk. I just thought of paying heed with my dry throat.

"I didn't think that you drink."

At the midst of finishing the glass, there's that sudden voice who spoke from my back. When I peek over my shoulder, I see Brent smirking at me.

He takes the seat opposed from mine. "Where's Four?"

I settle the glass down the counter. "He'd be a little late tonight, he said."

He nods. "I haven't paid much attention to you last night. I was talking to Four."

I don't really care if I wasn't the center of the attention as they talked. I don't like being one, anyway. He may just know me as for being Tobias's girlfriend but other than that, I don't have a name.

"I'm—"

"_Tris." _He finishes for me. "I know you. Who doesn't? You're the—"

"Stiff?" I shrug. "Everybody calls me that way."

"No, you got it wrong." He says. "What I meant to say is you're the first jumper."

I raise a brow. "Oh. Well… yes. That's me."

Then right after that, there is silence. What does he expect from me anyway? Does he expect me to begin talking about who I am, where I came from, and why I don't like him? The third part might be out of the question but that is a fact. How could I get convinced that he's nothing else other than a close friend of Tobias if the way he looks at me right now is as how he looked at me last night during dinner?

When I find it disgusting, I avoid his gaze. I try to focus on the shelves of whiskey on the counter but through the corner of my eye, I can still see him watching.

Finally, when I can't take it anymore, I automatically face him with a dead glare.

"What do you really want, ha?"

As for a swift response, he chuckles.

"Look, Tris. If you are thinking that I have an eye for you or anything like that, I'll be the one to tell you now that you are wrong."

I say nothing. I just scowl at him. I didn't know that he has already sensed what I was thinking. But still, it's better that he's known about it at the first place. He wouldn't like it if the words come from me.

"There're a lot more girls out there; here at the club; whom I could lay my liking on. You are not my type."

I'm not sure if that comes off as offensive on my part unless he doesn't mean anything coarse. But considering that he's got the looks, surely there's a couple of girls in this club who are competing to win him over. I would take his sentence as for being direct. But if he dares to underestimate me, I will knock props out.

"And…" he looks at me from head to toe and reversed as he drums his fingers on the counter. I figured he might scoff on me but he didn't. The song suddenly changes into another one which is louder than the previous one. "I don't understand why Four settled himself with a girl like you when there are other girls who's always wanted to have your role."

"What?" I mouth the word.

I didn't hear him at all. The only parts that I was able to cope with were the last two words yet I'm not sure if I even heard them right.

"Never mind," he says with a laugh. He didn't think of repeating it. His attention instantly switches from me onto the club entrance.

"He's here." He says.

I turn around as Tobias walks in.

**A/N: Hello! The other day after school, I was asking for my best friend's help for a name that I could use with the new character. And because she has this huge crush on Brenton Thwaites, (one of the former contenders for Four on the Divergent movie) she suggested 'Brenton' to be the name. And so, there is Brent! ;D**

**Tomorrow I and my group would perform four science tricks as for the Biology project. That is why I haven't updated in two days; I was studying how they are performed. I'm hoping we'd do it well! : )**

**And by the way, I just found out that this story now has 100 followers! What a nice greeting after coming home tired from school! Thanks a bunch guys! : )**

**Always grateful,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	43. Chapter Forty Three

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. **

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in 2 days…**

**Chapter Forty Three: Nobody Else**

**Tobias's POV**

Somebody calls me from somewhere.

"Four!"

But with this kind of loud music and number of Dauntless people, I still have to look back and forth to find that person. Tris is the one that I'm looking for. I don't know what she wears or who came here with her but I figured she's only easy to recognize.

The call repeats. "Four, over here!"

After a while of searching, I had the mind to find the voice from the counter. Brent sits on the stool opposed to… _Tris? _

With bewilderment, I approach the two of them; but I went to crash fists with Brent first as a sign of greeting. Then when I look at Tris, she tries to curve a smile but I instantly detect that she's uncomfortable around Brent. She just told me that she doesn't trust him and that she has a bad feeling about him. If I am correct, she wouldn't want to tolerate him.

"What did you do?" she asks.

"I just discussed something about Lauren." I say. "She needed some help with the fear landscapes."

"You still got those four fears?" Brent inserts. "Are they the same?"

What has to change?

"Still four fears."

Brent calls for the bartender's attention, then. As he says his order, I turn to talk to Tris. I haven't seen her in a dress before, especially with heels. She also wears make-up. Her hair is gathered on right angle. I lean closer to her and whispers, "You look good tonight, Tris."

Her mood suddenly changes. From being anxious, she becomes laid-back. "Have you drunk already?"

I let out a small laugh. "Not yet. I'm still conscious."

"Let's get to the couch!" Brent carries a set of beers on his arms. I thought he invited us here for some other reason but it seems like he's planning to shoot those bottles with me. A little away from the dance floor is the couch where we sat. Tris takes the seat before me while I sit beside Brent. While bringing the bottles to the table in front us, Brent talks.

"Tris does drink, do you know that Four?"

I peek over my shoulder to check on Tris but she doesn't seem as though this is something to hide from me. I don't think so, either. It's a weird thing for Brent to say. I wouldn't get surprised if I was the one who saw her with a glass or bottle of beer in hand at the first place. I just know Tris that well.

"And so?" I tell Brent. "What's the matter with that?"

"It was just a glass." She simply says.

Brent chuckles as he hands a bottle to me. But his focus is on Tris' direction. "Would you mind a bottle of beer, then? A glass of beer wasn't enough for you to taste how good it is."

Again, I turn to see how Tris reacts. It's very usual of her to wear either a poker or casual expression. She doesn't have to say yes with Brent's offer if she doesn't want to but in my part, I don't think she'd get drunk if she knows how to handle it.

And of course, she does.

"A bottle, then." She tells Brent. Brent smirks as he reaches for a bottle to give Tris. I think it'll be safe to say that I'm sort of a bystander too like Brent so what I could perceive is that he's trying to push Tris' buttons and see what she can do. That's how it seems to me.

Brent hands the bottle to Tris. "Here."

I thought of taking the bottle myself instead so she doesn't have to do it but she got it before I could move. I know she won't directly be giddy with one bottle but if she takes another bottle with no good reason, she might begin to feel shallow. And with that, I'll be the one to stop her.

Tris settles the bottle down the table after her first shot. It only seems nothing to her. I watch her face for a short while; she looks okay. I thought she's not used with this stuff for it isn't permitted at Abnegation but then, it's been months already since she has chosen Dauntless as her faction. This kind of things is typical in here.

"Your turn, Four."

As I get the beer on hand, I feel Tris watching me through the corner of my eye. It's as though she's telling me to just have enough and to control it. It takes me a while before drinking but when I finally do, somebody approaches our table—at exactly when the barrel of the bottle is on my lips.

"Hey, Tris!"

Will and Christina stood before us, inviting Tris to come with them. "Will that only be fine with you, Four?" Christina inquires.

I wanted to tell Tris to better stay with me here but I also thought that she might not be able to stand Brent's presence. Likewise, _if_ I'm right that Brent is trying on her, I would prefer Tris to be apart from him. I'm not accusing Brent for anything _yet _but I think there has to be a reason why Tris doesn't feel easy around him.

"Sure," I tell Christina. Then I turn to my girlfriend. "But we'd leave this party together. Okay?"

She nods. "Of course."

Tris leaves the occupied space before me and turns away with Will and Christina. I watch them fade onto the thick crowd of dancing people. They won't be leaving, I'm certain. Perhaps they just went at the other side of the club.

"So… you and Tris." Brent says with a smirk as he takes another bottle for himself. "Since when have you been together?"

"Since I ended it with Eliza." I settle the bottle down for a while. "But it's a week after that. It was when the Erudite published the paper."

"I heard Eliza's the one who… who told the Erudite about it?"

"True," I grab the bottle again. "And then, I was furious. But she apologized before leaving to settle with the factionless."

"I see…" he takes a sip. "So this is where Tris Prior enters the scene, isn't it? You really _like_ her?"

"I _love _her." I corrected. "And I trust her."

"Are you sure about that?"

My mood slowly becomes cold with the question. I look at him as if we've never been friends two years ago.

"What does that supposed to mean?"

"Well you know…" he swings his bottle. "Are you sure about _her _as for the girl you'd settle with until you get old? I mean… look around you, Four." He motions his eyes around the club. "There're a lot _more _girls in here. Take a look."

And I did. But the view just bores me. Perhaps those girls that he was talking about are taller and prettier than Tris but none of them could attain to be like her no matter how many times they try. Tris _is _different. I don't need to look for anyone else.

"You see?" Brent says. "They are many."

"Yeah," I nod. "But Tris is the only one."

Brent laughs. "Oh c'mon, Four. You aren't just taking a closer look. You know what? I'll get you one."

"Get me what?"

"Lara!" he calls. "Lara, come over here!"

Brent does things randomly that I haven't prevented him from calling for the Dauntless girl's attention. She was dancing at the dance floor with a friend when she heard Brent calling her name.

"Me?" she mouths.

"Yeah, you! Join us here!"

"What do you think are you doing, Brent?"

"Why?" he asks stubbornly. "Tris isn't even around. She's with her friends, right? So there's no need to worry about; she won't know about this."

Lara approaches our table, wearing a sleeveless blouse and a pair of short shorts that reveal too much of her long legs. As for a Dauntless appearance, her hair is dyed with red and she has an earring on her right ear; the left one has nothing. She also has a tattoo on both of her forearms and another one on the side of her neck.

"Do I have to introduce him to you?" Brent tells her. "You surely know him already."

Lara chuckles. "Of course I do!"

"Take a seat."

She occupies the space beside me which Tris has left empty. I move an inch apart from her since she's being too close but she also does the same thing. It's not that I'm nervous around a girl that's why I'm doing this. For God's sake, I _have _a girlfriend whom I love. This is just a silly thing for Brent to do and this has to stop.

"This is not what I came here for, Brent."

"Yes it is, Four." He offers a bottle to Lara. "You came here to enjoy yourself. Tris is also having fun right now I'm certain so you shall do the same. C'mon!"

"You have no idea of what you are talking about."

"Tris is with Will and Christina. I just saw them." Lara inserts. "So don't mind about her."

"_Don't mind about her?" _I escape a hysterical laugh. "Nice try but she's my girlfriend." Then I turn to Brent. "Thanks for the invitation but I didn't come for this."

I bring the bottle down the table and am ready to go. But just when I'm about to stand, Lara grasps my arm too quickly that I haven't protested about her upcoming kiss.

Tris is the first one that comes to my mind. I do care of what she's going to think if she sees this and I'm not a fool to remain on this perspective so I immediately pulled away from Lara who's smiling flirtatiously at me.

"Now, Four. Was that a nice try?" she says.

But from somewhere else, I hear another person calls me by name. "Tobias?"

And when I turn to see who that is, I find Tris standing bewildered before us.

**A/N: Tadaaaaaa! ;D Yesterday I had a rehearsal with my group since there's this project on school wherein we're going to perform a song & dance presentation. We also made some props to use and we rehearsed over and over again so we finished them all by five p.m. already. Haven't updated because I was tired and I had lack of time so I'm sorry (Hehe! : D)**

**By the way guys, do you know the movie "Soul Surfer"? It's a movie based on the true inspiring story of Bethany Hamilton, a professional surfer who lost her arm due to shark attack. We watched it on school the other day and it was FANTASTIC! It'd get you crying, laughing, smiling, and crying again. It's very inspiring and it's for everybody. So if you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it! I just downloaded it on torrent; I'm going to watch it again. : )**

**Always grateful,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	44. Chapter Forty Four

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. : )**

**Chapter Forty Four: All Yours**

**Tris' POV**

Lately I was only doing silly dances with Will and Christina but by the midst of it, I felt a sudden anxiety. I paused for a while. My heart pounded hard against my chest, following the same rhythm as the loud music. The Dauntless were making noise and I thought that was the reason why I've gone uneasy.

"Are you alright?" Christina asked me.

"I don't think so. I'd take a seat first."

Will and Christina were left on the dance floor as I relax on the counter. I have never been like this before. Maybe it's just because of the music, Dauntless screaming, and muddled conversations which filled the place that brought me to need some space even just for a short while.

Or maybe I just needed air. I can't breathe in here. I would come back when I feel better; I told Tobias that we'll leave together. I touched Christina's shoulder to tell her that I'm going to find a capacious area but at the same time I did that to gain balance. I insert myself onto the crowd of dancing people with arms on the sides so I could nudge whoever happens to block the way.

Halfway through the exit, I knew I'm going to pass by Tobias and Brent's table. I decided to let Tobias know that I'll be leaving for a while so in case he wonders where I am, he knew I'm staying outside the club. But when I got to their table, I felt like I just felt much worse. I prickled with heat all over me as though I'm both sick and angry and I thought I really was.

He's kissing a Dauntless girl who's evidently my opposite.

He pulled away from the kiss and right after that, the girl smiled at him in a manner that made me want to smack her face. But I remained on my feet. I watched them first. And when the time has come, I utter his name.

"Tobias?"

It was a silly thing to say since I knew that that was him. But still, I couldn't believe that he _did_ it. When I left him and Brent recently, I was assured that it's just going to be them alone: good friends, talking, drinking, and laughing. I thought they might have wanted a time just for the two of them for they haven't bond with each other previously. Have I gone wrong with that?

"Tris," he rises from the couch. "It's not how you think."

What was he expecting me to say? I was too stunned to even decide how to react. The noise that the club is making got into me and the image of them flirting on the couch keeps forming on my head. It made me feel as if I don't want to stay here longer anymore.

"You can keep yourself on that couch with _your _girl if you want." I casually say. "I was thinking of leaving anyway. This place is no good. I'd rather get to the apartment rather than being cheated on while I'm not around."

"_Cheated?" _he says. "You think I'm cheating on you?"

"Aren't you?"

I had no time for doing shillyshally. I knew I needed to be alone now. Initially I thought I could feel alright again but right after witnessing that scene, the emotions just combined with my vertigo.

I turned away from Tobias to reach for the exit—I was too mixed up to pay heed on him calling my name. "Tris, let me explain!"

I don't stop. Ignoring him shall be easy. All I have to do is to pretend that I wasn't at the party with him, I didn't see anything, and I'm en route to my apartment to grab some sleep. I was almost there, in fact. It's almost simple. But the moment he seized my arm to have me facing him, I realized that avoiding his gaze has never been _that _simple.

"Tris, you don't just leave the club without giving me the chance to explain my side." He says. "And you don't consider me cheating on you because I'm not."

"Really?" I release myself off from his grasp. "Now how would you explain what I saw? That it was only a dare? That it was an accident? It didn't seem that way, Tobias!"

He flies a hand onto his forehead. "She did it on a sudden! Okay? She did it, I didn't. And I wasn't—"

"You did too!" I burst out. "If I didn't leave would she be there? No, right? It's like my dismissal from the scene has been a benefit for the two of you to meet each other! That's how I see it!"

I say what comes to my mind. This might only be an effect of being in a place like the club where all you hear is noise but on some part of what I'm saying, I think my senses are steady. That girl wouldn't have dared to approach him if I remained seated beside him. She knew what I'm going to do if she tried to do so.

"Do you hear yourself, Tris?"

Now he's doing it again: getting to Four the instructor's zone in make-believe that it'd make the situation less serious. The thing is we're no longer on that perspective. This isn't an instructor-initiate talking about initiation. This is _us _on the midst of a mess.

"You thought I wanted you to leave with your friends to stand a chance on that girl? And did I just hear you call her _my _girl at the club earlier, ha? You really do think that I'm cheating? You do, Tris? Tell me."

"What if I say yes?"

He chuckles. But it isn't a good laugh. He may not say it but I heard a hint of pain on that laugh.

"I thought you trust me?" he fixes his gaze on mine. "We trust each other right? And would it be unfair enough to tell you that I didn't think you're cheating on me while you were on the other part of the club?"

"I wouldn't do that!" I protest. "I'm not a—"

"I know! Tris, I _know_! And that's the funny thing about this." He brings his hands inside his pockets. "Brent's not favor of you as for my girlfriend. He was telling me things to convince me that I should find somebody else; that there are a lot more girls better than you are at the club. He was _actually_ right, you know."

On that last part, I thought I just wanted to burst into tears. We aren't lasting for that long yet. This is not how I imagined our time together would be like. I hope I just didn't hear him clearly so I don't have to rewind the words all over again; but as much as I want to believe that that isn't what he said, I figure that I'm only fooling myself.

"He was actually right with what he said." He continues. "That there're more girls here in the compound aside from you; girls who might be taller than you, or might be prettier than you. But you know what, Tris?"

I almost choke. "What?"

"_I don't care._" He says firmly. "There might be several of them in here but I'm just yours. _All yours_, Tris."

The dizziness gets worse. I've been out from the club for few minutes now but it isn't fading yet. Every time I talk, and when pressure comes to my voice in wanting to burst anger, I feel like it happens slowly—that I'm not active. Tobias remains before my vision and I did hear what he said. The matter is I didn't reflect on it. I just stare at him, no response, and no reaction. I'm being forced to shut my eyes but I fight to keep them open.

"Tris, are you still with me?"

_What did he say? _

"_Tris,_"

"Tobias," his name escapes from my mouth as a frail whisper. "Tobias…"

But nothing comes after it. My vision begins to blur; Tobias's face becomes undefined. I am about to utter his name again but I no longer had the chance in my hand.

Within the second, I fainted on the ground.

**A/N: Lots of home works and rehearsals previously so I lacked in updates. Sorry guys! There's also this competition on school wherein each class from freshmen to seniors must have a representative who'd impersonate a famous TV personality. My classmate has been chosen to imitate a news anchor in our country and initially, I had no idea that I was picked to be the speaker who'd deliver a speech about that news anchor's autobiography. So for this coming weekend, I have to memorize the speech because I would deliver it in front of the whole high school students. (And I have to admit, I have this thing called 'stage fright'. A lot of us have it, I think.) One of my teachers said that it's alright to feel nervous when you're facing a large size of crowd for it pushes you forward to what you're going to do/say. I hope I'd be able to do my part well! And I hope the cliffhanger doesn't annoy you (Hehe!) I would try to update the next chapter tomorrow for all of you. : )**

**Thank you so much for reading and supporting! : )**

**Always grateful,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	45. Chapter Forty Five

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. **

**Chapter Forty Five: You've Been Warned**

**Tobias's POV**

I talked to Christina after bringing Tris in my apartment. According to her, Tris left the dance floor to ease herself at the counter. After knowing about that, I went to meet Vita at the infirmary. My initial thought is that it has something to do with her wound near the belly but Vita told me that it's out of the question. That was two weeks ago already. She pointed out that if we went at the club to party, that must be a possible reason. She may not have tolerated the size of the crowd so she needed space to breathe.

"She'd probably get a little headache when she wakes up." Vita advised me. "Let her have this tablet and a glass of water."

I went back to my apartment after discussing Tris' condition with Vita. There is no way that she'd wake up by this time; it's almost twelve a.m. in the morning based on my wristwatch. Before I open the door, I expected her to be on bed with eyes closed. But her absence has surprised me. The blanket is creased as well as the bed sheets. I look everywhere but there is no sign of her. Where has she gone?

"Tris?" I call out. "Are you still here?"

No answer. What am I thinking anyway? That she would stay? She's still mad with me. She's probably left the room when I went at the infirmary for she doesn't want to share the bed with the guy whom she believes to be a cheater.

I sat on the bed when I figured that I'm alone in here. I recall the argument that I and Tris had earlier this evening. We haven't screamed to each other's faces like that before. It was terrible. The timing was also bad. As I was trying to convince her that there would be nobody else, she fainted. I presume she didn't drink too much at the club. It was only a bottle and she didn't even drink all of it. Then now, as much as I thought we could fix it, she's gone. If I would approach her the next day, she might only avoid me.

A door has clicked open. I tilt my head and finds Tris standing by the door of the bathroom. Her make-up has already faded but the dress still appeals with her.

"Tris," I rise from the bed. "I thought you left."

"Uh… no." she shuts the door behind her. "My head ached a bit when I woke up. And… I wanted to… pee."

I nod. "The doctor advised me to let you have this tablet."

I hand her the tablet and there was a second or two before she accepts it. "What is this for?"

"She knew you might have that head ache. Wait here. I'd get you a glass of water."

She sits on the bed as I went to my small kitchen. I came back and gave the glass to her. "Thank you." She mutters. I waited for her to finish before asking how she feels right now. Head ache, maybe. The tablet will function after a couple more minutes. Angry, probably. She's still recalling what she's seen at the club. And _hurt…_ of course she's hurt. It's never been my intent to hurt her but she has to believe that that Dauntless girl was nothing to me.

Tris settles the glass down the bedside table. "How long… how long I've been sleeping?"

I take the empty space beside her. Not so close, I decided. It'll be easy on her if I part a few inches away. "An hour, I guess. Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes I do." She says. "But I'm not sure if that's because of the beer."

"It might be because of the crowd and its noise. You didn't drink a lot."

"M-maybe."

Silence follows afterwards. An awkward silence, I would say. I wanted to bring the conversation about our current issue yet it might only make her feel worse again. I locked my attention on her—only on her—on how the strands of her hair block her face. I could tell that she doesn't want to look at me. She cannot tolerate the silence, either. She just keeps on drumming her fingers on the fabric of her dress—an act that she does to gather her thoughts.

"You know, Tobias?" she begins. "I think I'm really mixed up."

"Not really."

"Yes I am." She turns to me finally. "I mean… it was foolish of me to act like that recently. I think… I think my mind wasn't fixed when I threw those words on you. I don't think I actually meant them."

"You didn't know what really happened."

"And I didn't give you the chance to explain about that. I let my anger win over instead and the outcome was bad. I almost… I almost told you that I don't trust you. That probably hurt your feelings."

I incline my back forward and rest my arms on both thighs. "Yes it did. A little. I was hoping you don't mean them."

"No I don't." she says. "I wasn't thinking straight. I'm… I'm sorry about that."

Lately I'm focused on front view. But after the apology, I turn to face her. If she were Eliza, she'd probably side herself with shouting and arguing with me. If she were her, she would turn the issue more serious until we end up tired with explanations and reasons. But she _is_ Tris. At one minute she's bursting out her anger but the next thing you know, she's gradually settling down.

"I'm sorry too." I tell her. "About Brent, I mean. I know you aren't comfortable around him."

She shrugs. "I told you. I don't have a good feeling about him. I'm not ordering you to keep a distance from him either because I know that you're friends. But I'm not going to do anything to please him. I mean… if he doesn't like me, then fine. I'm not living here in Dauntless to act the way he or anybody wants to."

A smile flickers in my lips which becomes a laugh.

"What?" she asks.

"I just figured that you would say that."

Sometime later, when laughter has subsided and it's no longer awkward, I gather Tris closer to me. She sits on my lap, wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. As I return it, I run my fingers soothingly on her hair. I fall my back on the bed with Tris on top of me but that is just where we settle. She falls to the other side of the bed and we lie there for a short while, staring up the ceiling.

"You should get back to sleep." I tell her.

"Can I stay here?"

I smile a little. "I'd prefer for you to sleep in here next to me."

I reach for my drawer in the room to grab one of my t-shirts. I handed it to Tris so she could change the dress and feel cozy. It's sort of big on her that it looks like the dress that she's worn but it'll help her to have a long sleep. After changing, she lies down my bed and I fall next to her. I pull the blanket to cover us as I can sense her watching me.

"Hey," she mutters. "Good night."

"Good night." I say back. "I love you."

She smiles. "I love you too."

Then I lean closer to leave a peck on her lips.

Xxxx

The next morning, I woke up before Tris does. I just take a quick shower and a slice of bread to feed my roaring stomach. I put a black shirt and pants on matched with the sneakers I usually wear. When Tris wakes up she might wonder where I have gone so I searched for a piece of paper and a pen where I could write a note.

"_I'll meet you at breakfast by 8. I just need to do some work at the control room. Hope you're feeling well now. If not, go and punch some bags at the training room. _

_-Instructor Four"_

I left the note at the bedside table along with the ball pen. Before reaching for the exit, I watch her face for a while. She's angled on the right side of the bed; a few strands of her hair have fallen before her eyes. She was right with what she's said. She doesn't live in here to please Brent or anyone. No one has also the right to tell me who to like or who to love. They do not choose for me. I choose for myself. _Us _is my choice.

I left the apartment soon. Halfway by the hallways, I'm walking with hands on the pockets just like what I always do. Then at this corridor where the other apartments are located, I didn't expect Brent to appear.

"Hey, Four." He greeted. But I just kept on walking.

"Hey, didn't see me here?"

I paused and released a breath. "What do you want?"

I hear him chuckle. "Are you mad about last night?"

Is that even a question? He was up to being so silly at the club last night. I thought his invitation was for something fun but what on earth was fun with promoting sorts of girls to a guy whose taken? And do you what's the funnier thing about it? He _knew _that I already have a girlfriend. Yet, it didn't seem like it mattered.

I turn around to greet him with a dead glare. "What do you expect? You want me to thank you? Thank you for asking that random girl to come over and join us and flirt? What were you thinking, ha?"

He looks up the ceiling. "You know… I'm not sure about what that girl did to you."

"She has a name."

"Fine," he looks back to me. "Tris. How could you fall for someone like her? She might have casted spell on you."

"You're being nuts." I curl a fist inside my pocket. "Watch your mouth."

He laughs. "Well what if I'm right?"

"Right with what?"

He shrugs. "That she's dangerous."

"You know what, Brent? You should stop all these insanity of yours. You don't know her as much as I do so you don't have the right to accuse her as for being dangerous."

"Okay, okay," he waves both hands. "But if it turns out that I'm correct and that she's only fooling around without you knowing, give me credits for warning you."

"Talk to somebody else and make some sense." I say. "I'm leaving."

I've finally turned away and I'm about to turn to another corridor when he calls out again to ask, "Where are you going?"

I pause and tilt my head on shoulder length. "To hell. You want to come?"

I waited for a response like an irony but I heard nothing from him. I hope he whacks his head on a wall and realize that he's only making a fool out from himself.

**A/N: Hey guys! The third book is going to be released from September 2013 to October 22, 2013. They moved the date. And this afternoon, as I thought about it, I came up with this idea:**

**October 22, 2013. **

**October: The tenth month of the year. (**_**4**__**6**_** is **_**TEN**_**.)**

**22: 2 + 2 = **_**4**_

**2013: 2 + 0 + 1 + 3 = **_**6**_

**And I was like, "I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE." Haha!**

**Hoping we'd receive new Divergent news soon! And I hope, sooner, they'd let us know who's going to play Four and the other characters like Christina, Will, Uriah, and etc. so we can fangirl! **_**If **_**Drew Roy gets cast as Four I would totally freak out! *daydreaming***

**Haha, enough of this. Thank you so much for sparing some time to read and for supporting. :')**

**Always grateful,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	46. Chapter Forty Six

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. : )**

_**Crazy gal **_**& **_**haileybomb: **_**Hi there! I was so excited when I read your reviews and I'm soooo glad that you like the story! : )**

**~This chapter's for all of you! Let's get to some action!**

**Enjoy reading!**

**Chapter Forty Six: No Regrets**

**Tris' POV**

I roll to the other side of the bed expecting I have someone to hug but I instantly wake up just to find no Tobias with me. I look around the room yet it doesn't have a sign that he's here. If he is, I'd probably hear the pouring of the shower or his motions in the kitchen. He might have woken up earlier than I did.

Turning back, the alarm clock greeted me. _7:45 a.m., _it says. Then somewhere near it, I see a small piece of paper that got my attention for it's the only item settled on the bedside table apart from the alarm clock. I reach for the paper and had to blink a couple of times before I'm able to read what the note says. This is what's written:

_"I'll meet you at breakfast by 8. I just need to do some work at the control room. Hope you're feeling well now. If not, go and punch some bags at the training room._

_-Instructor Four"_

My lips curve into a grin with the last part and with his signature. I like the idea of punching bags at the training room but I'm feeling better already. The tablet that the doctor advised has worked. And now, as what he's said on the note, we'd meet at breakfast by eight. I only have fifteen minutes left to prepare myself.

With the note on hand, I set the blanket aside and drag out of bed. I went to my apartment to do the business. I just take a quick shower which is good for five minutes then went to the sink at the kitchen to gargle three times. After that, I rush to my drawer to grab my get-up for today. An open-shoulder top matched with dark jeans seems like a good idea, I thought.

When all is done and I'm ready to go, I glance at the clock on the wall to figure that I've spent ten minutes for preparation. I picked up the note that I left on my bed when I got to the shower, then left the room to meet my friends and Tobias for breakfast.

Xxxx

The moment that I step in of the dining hall, despite of how several the Dauntless are, Tobias and Zeke are the first two people that I've spotted. They're standing by the counter, talking while waiting for their trays to be returned with food. I approach them with excitement although I don't know what is there to be excited about. Maybe I just had a good wake this morning, that's why.

"Hey," I wave the note. Tobias and Zeke paused from their discussion to turn around. "I got your note."

"I see," Tobias says. "How are you feeling? Still in a headache? Or you went to punch some bags?"

I laugh as I reach the counter. "Good. I'm better than last night."

The lunch lady then arrives with their trays. The sight of the food that they have ordered brings my stomach to make sound.

"You could go to the table now," I tell them. "Your food might get warm."

"We'll wait for you there, then." Tobias says. I nod.

As soon as they left, I've decided what food do I like to have and told the lunch lady about it. She returns with a tray that has a plate of rice, pork tidbits and beans.

"Don't you like a drink?" she asks when she's noticed that I didn't ask for anything.

"I'd just get one myself at the fridge." I say.

With the tray squared on my hands, I amble towards the direction of the refrigerator. I settle the tray down for a while on an unoccupied table and an orange light welcomes me when I opened the refrigerator. It has four levels. On the second level are the cans of sodas. However, for a morning appetite, it is not the best option. Then on the first level, I spot a pitch of water. I am about to reach for it but I was surprised with the sudden appearance of a hand getting a can of soda.

When I peek over my shoulder to see who has come and almost scared me to death, Brent is laughing at me. He opens the lid of the can and takes a sip.

I scowl at him. "What exactly are you doing here?"

He snorts. "Isn't it obvious? I got myself a drink. Did I forget to ask for your permission if I could do that?"

I ignore his joshing comment and just close the refrigerator once I had the pitch on my hand. I bypass him to get myself a glass, thinking he would stop and just leave me alone. But when I went to the table to pour water onto the glass, he appears on my side and settles his can next to my tray.

"I've heard about your father once, Tris." He begins. "Prior, right? Andrew… Andrew Prior?"

My hold on the handle of the pitch tightens on the mention of my father's name. _What _did he hear about my father? What about him?

Then I remember…

"The Erudite published an article about him a few months back." Brent says. "They said he was a corrupt. Then when I figured that his daughter—you—transferred here in Dauntless, I had this sensation that you might be a traitor; that you are just like Eliza who pleased Four in order to have information. And with what I can observe… I think I'm right."

So he was observing me. That disgusting stare that he gave me during dinner previously meant that he was watching every move that I do. And how dare him to make my father an origin of this inane delusion of his! The only reason why he invited me and Tobias at the party last night is because he wanted us to apart. Because if we do, he assumes that Tobias will be unattainable from my scheme which doesn't make sense anyway. I didn't transfer here in Dauntless to be traitor of character. And most of all, my parents have nothing to do with my choice of transferring. He has no right to put them on this!

I bang the pitch of water on the table but the room is too busy with conversations that nobody paid attention. I glare at Brent, mad for involving us with his insanity. Quickly, I raise a curled fist to blow his face but just when I'm near on hitting him, he stops me through encircling his hand on my fist.

He leans closer to my face. "This looks like a good challenge Tris but… don't you think this isn't the good place?"

"And you think I care?" I snap back.

He laughs. "Let's just have a deal. Since Four and your friends might be waiting for you now… just meet me at the training room by nine _or_, after breakfast, if you prefer that. I'll be waiting for you there."

"I'm not g—"

"See you." He releases me. Then he picks up his can of soda and walks backward, taking a sip. I never thought that I could hate somebody else as this aside from Peter. I wish I've been quicker with my actions so I have smacked his face. And what does he want when he asked me to meet him at the training room? A match? With _me_? Or he's only planning to play a trick on me?

God, I don't know. What I only know is that I hate him and he's on the list of the people that I want to hit.

Once I've calmed a little, I release a big breath. For how long are they waiting for me? It'd be a shame to arrive on the table and find them done with their plates already. I need to go now.

"What took you so long?" Tobias asks when I sit beside him.

"Uh…" I separate the spoon from the fork. "It took the lunch lady a long while to cook the food."

I thought he doubts it considering the way I said it. I saw him staring at me which made me think that he's caught me lying so I decided to act casual. I bet he was convinced.

"Where do you go after this?" he asks. "I'll be coming back at the control room this afternoon."

He would stop me if I tell him that I'm meeting Brent at the training room after breakfast. And I don't want him to. I'm not done with Brent yet. The only option that I have is to lie. As much as I hate the idea of doing it, I still need to do so. If a mess comes out of this, I'd blame myself at the first place.

"I'm… I'm working at the tattoo parlor."

That's half true. But I do not begin today by eight. It will be lucky of me if he won't drop by the tattoo parlor to check on me. If he does, he'd find my presence nowhere.

"So I'll see you when we're both done with work. Okay?"

I nod precisely to make it more real. "Okay."

Xxxx

Tobias would wonder if he doesn't see me enter the tattoo parlor. So in order to convince him, I say, "I'm going. See you this afternoon."

I stand on my tiptoes and leave a brief kiss on his lips. I can feel him watching my back when I turn away to reach for the door of the tattoo parlor. Once I've entered, I knew Tori will look at me in disbelief. She knows that I'm not working this early today.

"Hey," she calls. "I thought your shift is at ten?"

My back remains propped on the door while my hand is on the handle. I peek over my shoulder to check if Tobias is still watching or has gone already. I release a breath of relief when I no longer saw a sign of him.

I turn back to Tori who's raising both brows on me, waiting for my response.

"Uh… yes." I stood straight. "I forgot about that, sorry."

"It's fine." She says. "You okay? You kind of look… flushed."

"I'm okay." I answer right away. "This might just be by coincidence. Anyway, I'm leaving now. No more bursting in of the door on the wrong shift."

She chuckles. This helped a little to make her forget about my flushed face.

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

Then I tried not to hustle as I leave the parlor. When Tori's attention is no longer on me, I began my way to the training room. Brent Pest must be up for a game. Pest sounds like a good surname for him.

Halfway through the training room, I see the doors open. I cautiously walk toward there and remains standing by the entrance for a while. All I see is the arena, table of weapons, the board, and the punching bags. The last time I checked, _this _is the training room, not elsewhere. Where on earth is Brent?

If he's just hiding on an area to scare me, he wouldn't response or show up if I call out a hello. And if I am correct, I must be aware.

Slowly, I take more steps inside. I look around my surroundings again with the imagination that he would suddenly emerge from somewhere. Or maybe I'm the only one who's thinking it that way. What if he didn't come here at all? What if it was just a joke? Then I'd appear as stupid; stupid for both lying to Tobias and coming over here.

I stand at the center of the arena. I stare up the ceiling with the silly thought that he might be up there. I bit back laughter when I imagined that. Of course that's just me. There's no way he'd last at the ceiling.

Then suddenly, at the midst of imagining that, I was alarmed. Somebody touches me hard on the shoulder and in that moment, I swiftly turn around to find Brent about to blow my face but I dodge my head on the right and kick him on the stomach with support from my arms.

I wanted him to fall on the floor but he just stumbled back.

He stands straight on his feet again and springs out his arms on the sides with fists curled. I do the same as he begins to rotate around the arena.

"Do you _really _know how to fight?" he mocks. "Oh, yes. I remember. Four taught you how."

We continue to rotate as we talk. His mention of Four just becomes a benefit of mine. I flash back to the day he taught me the technique of fighting. My hands are supposed to be relaxed when I'm not punching. He said I could make a loose fist but shouldn't clench it.

"So this is what you asked me to come for?" I ask.

"One of the reasons, I would say. I'm very hesitant of your ability. Let's see where you go."

I move a step forward, just in case I find a perfect timing to strike. I continue to rotate with my arms extended shortly. Tobias told me that a full rotation with short arm extension hits harder. All I have to do is to stand a chance to reach an arm out to his face and do it fast in a manner that he won't be able to react instantly.

Then finally, I found his nose as a good target to hit. I step closer with arms remaining sprang out on the sides. He seems as though he's still deciding on what to hit on me but I've already done it. _The nose, the nose. Blow his nose._

My fist transforms into a brick as I deliver the punch on Brent. My arm springs out toward him and I thought it will go straight away for his nose but it didn't. As quick as a bunny, he's caught my fist in his hand again and twisted my wrist as though it's a rubber band that I got to the point of groaning. I groaned harder when he took benefit of that to do the same thing that I recently did to him. He kicked me on the stomach.

I fall my butt on the ground. The attack was hard especially from a robust figured guy like him. But when I look up to him and see him standing there, with a wrestler's position, waiting for me to get my revenge, I felt my body heating up. The desire to beat him is defined.

That is why I get back to my feet.

"Nice try," he says laughing. "But bad luck."

I stare at his strong muscles and reckon how big he is. But concentrating on that fact won't lead me through winning. I don't know if this is a contest but my objective in here is to find him bleeding because of me.

So I strive again.

When he comes closer, that is where I find the advantage to do what I was supposed to do recently. I protect my face from being hit through cornering it with my arms while Brent keeps his arms on chest length only. This is when I close another inch between us and, in a blink of an eye, punches his nose… _hard_.

"Shit!" he yells. "_Shit!_"

His arms have fallen down as he crouches on the ground. I saw beads of blood escapes the spaces between his fingers as he covers his nose. The blood also marks the surface of the arena.

I didn't let my arms fall on the sides when I approach him. He remains squatted beneath me when I tease, "Does it hurts?"

And then he scowls up to me and was vague when he suddenly kicks me on the knee where I actually get my power from. I fall on my knees, trying not to escape a moan. He's hit the joint so badly. I don't know how he did it but I think I've lost a bit of device. I enfold a hand around my knee; let it stay there for a while, assuming it might lessen the pain.

But after a second or two, nothing happens. Brent found his turn again.

He is about to stand—probably planning to smash a foot rigidly on my back so I'd break down. He thought I'm not capable of thinking how to handle this just because I got my knee on hold. But he is wrong. Right at the moment when he's near to gaining his position, I release the grip on my knee and throw myself at him.

He's fallen on his back on the floor as I crouch on top of him. I curl a fist on his hair while the other punches his face every once in a while. I could already spot where the bruises will take place.

At the midst of hitting him, I heard somebody has entered the room. I didn't pause even just for a second to see who has arrived but when the voice speaks… _I knew._

"_Tris,_" he says. "Tris, that's enough."

Another strike is about to come but Tobias pulls me away. I fall to the side of the ground with blood marking my fists. Brent lies there, hugging his stomach, eyes closed. As Tobias crouches next to him to check if he's unconscious, I give Brent a dead glare.

Tobias turns to me. I'm not certain of what does his stare means to say but I think it's a look of disbelief. He probably didn't expect that I'd do that to Brent.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"_I am,_" I answer sternly. "I am _perfectly_ alright."

"You should get out of here now." He simply says. "Give yourself some air."

"Yeah," I casually say as I lock my gaze on Brent. "Maybe."

Tobias shifts his focus back to Brent so he wasn't able to see the way I walk. I had to bend my back so I'm able to reach my knee and give it support. But I have reached the exit myself so I guess I can manage to stay like this until I get to my apartment.

However, before I completely dismiss from the training room, I heard Tobias says something to Brent which made me pause for a while.

"Now you've learned your lesson," he says. "You shouldn't mess with Tris. She's tougher than you thought."


	47. Chapter Forty Seven

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. : )**

**Chapter Forty Seven: The City**

**Tobias's POV**

"Get up," I tell Brent as though he's an initiate. The blood that came out from his nostrils marked his snout like curved pathways. He's still hugging his stomach and catching for his breath. This takes me back to our initiation two years ago. The Dauntless-born initiates had their first fight and Brent's name was the core mention of everyone. I've heard he was opposed with another Dauntless born named as Hanson whom he left with a broken nose on the arena floor. No wonder why he ranked first on that stage.

But seeing him lying here, _right here _on the same floor where he beat the hell up of Hanson, he doesn't seem like the same person. The funnier thing about it is that it was a girl—it was Tris—who's done this to him.

Finally, after a series of lingering on the floor, he has sat up. He's floppy. I could tell by his appearance that he doesn't want to stand for if he does, something might hurt.

"You should be in the infirmary." I say. "So get up."

I didn't wait for him to make the first move. I stood from where I crouch and offer him my hand. He gives me an uncertain look which lasts for a couple of seconds. He's probably wondering why I didn't kick him or blew his nose for the worse since lately. I could have done that, too. But I think Tris has served him enough.

He takes my hand and I pulled him up. He cannot stand straight, I can see it. When we begin dismissing from the training room, he leans forward as much as he could—a procedure for keeping the blood in his nose instead of allowing it to run down his throat. After that, he pinches his nostrils shut.

Halfway through the corridors, we aren't saying anything to each other. I'd rather ask Tris about how these have happened than ask Brent. And I'd rather keep my mouth shut than part my lips where there's a tendency that I might utter something sharp.

"She's a kick-ass." Brent says at the midst of reaching the Pit.

I turn to him. "What?"

"_Tris" _He firmly says. "is a kick-ass. I didn't think she fights like that. Look at my nose." He releases his grip on his nose for a while. "It looks horrible."

"That's because you underestimated her."

"Well," he shrugs. "I'm not saying I like what happened to me. But a round two sounds like a good idea."

"Yes," I say sarcastically. "She might break your _face _itself next time. That sounds like a good idea."

We arrived at the Pit, the Dauntless are clattered everywhere. Brent walks in front me as though my presence is no longer essential.

"I shall leave." I tell him.

He pauses and turns around to me, still pinching his nostrils. I think that procedure is good for five to ten minutes.

"I can get to the infirmary myself." he utters. "Yeah, you could leave."

Right. He's not my responsibility anyway. Tris is my concern as of now. Where has she gone when I told her that she should get some air for a while? The thought that maybe she's left the compound got into me and worried me. But maybe she didn't. She must only be somewhere in here.

The first idea that I had is that she might be at the Chasm, leaning at the railing and listening to the roar of the water beneath. However, when I got there, there was no Tris. She isn't in the tattoo parlor either. I went to check her at the clinic if she's with Christina but Christina, at the first place, isn't there.

The only place she could be at is… her apartment.

Outside her apartment is where I lingered for a moment. I'm not sure if this is where she's chosen to stay but I'm hoping that it is.

After a couple of seconds, I begin knocking and calling out for her.

"Tris?" I wait for a response. "Tris, it's me."

I knew I don't have to mention my name anymore for she has memorized my voice and my manner of speaking.

"Come in." she softly says.

I gradually open the door and find her sitting on her bed, massaging her right knee. Her head is bowed and she's focused on business. When I shut the door behind me, I approach her.

"What happened with that?"

She looks up to me with a casual expression. "Brent's payback for his broken nose."

I crouch before her to have a better check on her knee. She can move her other leg but she cannot move this one. It seems as if it's paralyzed and that she might groan when I try to control it. I wasn't also aware that she got hit by the knee not until now.

I give her knee a soft pat. "How does it hurt?"

"I-I can't explain. I think he's hit it right through a muscle that I can't move my knee at will."

Then suddenly, I had an idea of what we could do with this. If she can't move it the way she used to, she'd have to accustom it back to how it functions. It might hurt a little but it could help.

"Let me," I carefully take her leg on my hands. "I know what to do."

I settle her foot on my lap and pat her knee one more time. She clutches the sheets of the bed as I begin pulling her leg in slow motion then pushing it back in surprise.

"Aw!" she exclaims. "Careful, careful…"

"I am."

And I did it again. I do it over and over again. I pull her leg then would push it back when she doesn't expect me to. She's groaned a few times, too. But after a minute of repeating the procedure, she's grown to be calm. And so I open the conversation about the occurrence at the training room.

"You told me that you have a shift this morning."

There's a short silence which made me swing my attention on her. She bites her lower lip as she locks her gaze on mine like she's guilty of something.

"I know," she bows her head. "I lied to you. Not just once, actually. But twice. The reason why I took so long before getting to the table at breakfast is because… I've encountered Brent while I was searching for a pitch of water in the fridge."

"Then?"

"Well, he… he began mocking at me. He's accusing me as traitor. And what insulted me more was when he involved my father, saying right to my face that he's a corrupt just because of the paper that the Erudite has published. I was mad, you know." She presses her lips. "And so I thought of punching his face but he's caught my fist before I could do that. Then he asked me to meet him at the training room after breakfast. I wasn't sure what is it for at first but when I got into the training room… well I figured that he was trying me."

After a sequence of pulling and pushing her leg, I finally stop. I relax her foot on the floor again then meet her eyes. I thought it's my turn to speak now since she's explained enough yet she says more.

"I also told you that I'd be working at the tattoo parlor." She blinks. "But of course that wasn't true. I just had to say that because I knew you won't allow me to meet Brent at the training room."

"And that's a fact." I say. "But I'm pretty sure that although I ask you not to come there, you will still go. Right?"

For a second or two she doesn't response. She stares down at her stable leg which she's swaying on air like a kid.

Then suddenly, a smile begins to flash from her lips that also become a grin.

"Yeah," she says. "And I wanted to beat him. I wanted to burst out my anger until I feel better again. Fighting him has helped."

"I can see that. You got him lying there on the ground and got his nose bleeding. In case you aren't aware, he ranked first among the Dauntless-born initiates during the first stage of initiation two years ago."

With this, her jaw falls open.

"He… he ranked first?"

"Yes, he did. He left this another Dauntless-born named Hanson unconscious. He was so determined in fighting."

Tris tilts her head back and mouths the word _Wow_. She probably didn't think that Brent has claimed that title once. But just once. He told me that he wasn't able to overcome his fears on his fear landscape in less than five minutes. If I'm not mistaken, he's got eleven fears.

"Anyway, he's at the infirmary now. I didn't accompany him anymore since it seemed like he could handle himself. And… by the way,"

She raises both brows to assure me that she's listening.

"When you were still getting your food at the counter this morning, I and your friends whom I call as my friends now too, have decided to have a trip around the city. We thought it's refreshing to come out of this underground even just for today."

Her expression lights up in a quick switch of events.

"You mean… like what we did during initiation? When we went to the fence?"

"Exactly." I nod. "They said they want to do it this afternoon."

"Hey that's great!" she says with a smile. "I like the idea."

"Me too but… your knee might react on sudden moments. It will bother you if that happens."

She falls silent for a while and tries to make motions with her right leg. Initially she was cautious and nothing hurts. But like what I was talking about, the knee could hurt anytime. What's more is that when we jump in and out from the train, it may cause for her to moan in pain.

"That's alright." She assures me. "We couldn't cancel the plan just because of me. Besides… this is no big deal at all."

I release a big breath and replies, "Okay. But jumping in the train would seem hard. The same thing goes with jumping out of it. Do you think you could make it?"

She knew that I'm challenging her response so she straightens her back like a solider and tries to mimic my voice.

"Sir yes, sir."

Xxxx

We're all gathered at the train shed by afternoon. The train isn't coming yet but I can already hear their excitement. We really haven't toured around the city for a long time.

Since Tris doesn't like being the center of attention, Christina's the only one who found out about the condition of her knee. Tris told her about the fight with Brent at the training room when Christina inquired how did that happen to her knee. Christina was pissed with the part where Brent was mocking at Tris at the dining hall. However, when she's discovered that Tris has beat Brent and has got him going at the infirmary for his nose's sake, Christina bursts into laughter.

"That served him right." She said.

Soon, when we've spot the trains from a short distance, we all begin to ready ourselves for jumping in. I glance at Tris to check if she's alright and I saw that she doesn't seem nervous at all. Once the trains run in front us, we're all settled to take action.

_In three… two… one… jump! _

I grasp on a rail by the moment I've jumped in a car. The rest have made it too. But my mind switches from them to Tris whom I instantly looked for.

She's leaning on a wall for support. Her left leg stands straight but the other one doesn't. She also seems flushed, I notice.

I take a step closer to have a better image of her expression.

"It hurt, didn't it?"

She lifts her chin up and nods. "A little."

"Come," I say. "Let's stand by the doors. The wind is blowing."

I offer her my hand; she takes it and tightens the hold. We stand by the doors of the train to watch the landscape of the city. The trees become smaller as we pass them; there are a few streets which are cracked, clattered stones on the pathways, and buildings that seem small for afar.

We're not arriving on our destination yet but I can already sense something.

This is going to be an adventure.

**A/N: First of all, I'd like to acknowledge my best friend since fourth grade who shared her idea for this chapter. At first I wasn't sure on how I'm going to type this chapter and my initial thought on how it would turn out like doesn't sound good to me. So I'm thanking her for her help. :'D **

**And I'm also thankful for your reviews! It's always a pleasure reading them especially before I get to sleep. Thank you sooooo much everyone!**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	48. Chapter Forty Eight

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does. : )**

**Chapter Forty Eight: Gunfire **

**Tobias's POV**

From the distance, I've found the view of the fences which are about forty feet high. This makes Tris angle herself straight from leaning sideways on the door. She knew that we have arrived.

"We're here," she mutters.

I peek over my shoulder to announce that we're going to jump. Will and Christina are, like us, standing by the doors while the rest are having a chit-chat.

"Get yourselves ready." I told them. "We're jumping."

This makes them pause from what they are doing and approach the door closer. They got excited—but not through the way kids do. All eyes are on the surface that we're going to land at, all minds focused on the count of three.

I stole one last look at Tris before the train passes the fences to tell her quickly, "You jump first." She gives me a small nod and readies herself. Everyone is ready, either. When the train gets on its perspective, Zeke begins to jump at the first place, followed by Shauna, then Lynn, and so forth.

Tris jumps a second after Shauna did then I jumped after her. I landed right on the surface with hands on the sides as well as the others. Tris stumbles a little due to her knee but I instantly caught her on my support before she falls.

"Thanks," she releases the hold with my arms to rub the dusts away from her jeans. "Is this really the place?"

She looks from left to right, sensing if this is the same place that she has been to before. As a matter of fact, nothing much has changed in here. It's still the same scenario: Grass, trees—really several trees, especially those which are outside the fences—buildings that are capable in sight even from afar. And well, of course, the fences. If there's something that's different now, I think it's the duo of guards standing by the gate.

"They changed the guards." Will observes.

That's a fact. Before it was two Dauntless women; at this time, a pair of Dauntless men on an all-black attire. Both of them have shooting weapons on the holsters of their slacks. They're standing straight like soldiers as though doing any motions is prohibited. The more disturbing thing about this is that their eyes are only focused to each other like what brain-washed people do.

"Do they _ever _blink?" Christina asks with crossed arms. "How can they afford to stay that way for a whole day?"

"And what if somebody attempts to pass by the gate?" Shauna inserts. "They're just going to stare?"

"No," I answer. "They're usual. They're only doing that to make people think it's easy to overcome them but they're going to surprise you."

"_Oh," _Christina says.

"Let's approach them."

The first guard is tall and lean, possessing a clean trimmed hair and a mole near his chin. On the contrary, the second guard is a few inches smaller than the first guard and he has the impression of a person who hasn't combed his hair in a week. I decided to talk to the first guard while Zeke and the rest are with the second one. I even caught Uriah waving a hand before the short guard's vision, checking if he could tolerate the act of not blinking. Funny guy.

"So… Arthur Coleman." I refer to the plate I.D. of his uniform. "How's the job in here so far?"

He remains steady. When he answers, he would only swing his eyes on my direction for a second then would go back to front view.

"Good," he says. Even his voice sounds so manly. "But most of the time it's hot."

It's been reported to me before that they're going to switch the prior women guards with men. Initially, I didn't give much focus with the reason why that has to be done. This might be my chance to know.

"When did you begin?" I inquire.

"About four weeks ago," he says. "They hired me and Thomson for the trade since there were kids from Candor who attempted to pass by the gate under the two women's supervision."

And by kids—I knew they aren't _literally _kids. They must be teenagers aged sixteen who're curious of what's on the outside.

"Well," I thought of ending the subject. I saw Tris and Christina, about inches away from me, staring into absence, talking. "Good luck in here. I hope it won't happen again."

He gives me one straight nod before I go to approach Tris and Christina. I didn't actually stand beside or in front them. I chose to stay behind them in order to eavesdrop on what they're busy talking about.

"Can you see that building, Chris?" Tris says.

"Where?"

"That one." She pointed a finger. "Don't mind the trees. I know you can see it."

"Well… yeah." Christina stands on her tiptoes. "Just a bit of it. W-what about that building?"

Tris shrugs. "This might sound sort of silly but… I think that might be coming from the outside. I mean… you know… the outside world. What… what do you think?"

Christina observes the building for a longer moment. I did too. That building must be really tall since despite of the trees blocking the view; you could still spot a bit of it—even just a bit of it.

"Is that possible?" Christina turns back to Tris. "We're inside these fences. We're far away from the outside. That could only be a random building here in the city."

I chose this moment to enter the conversation.

"Christina's right, Tris."

They both turn around and were surprised with my sudden presence.

"The city doesn't reveal anything about the outside." I stand next to Tris. "Even tidbits of what's _in _there. I would say that that building just happens to be that tall and far but it has nothing to do with what's outside the fence."

"But… what if—"

"I know, Tris." Christina says with a small laugh behind her voice. "I'm also curious about the life in there. I'm curious about the people and their existence. But as you can see… that's why we have guards guarding the gate. We aren't allowed to get out." Then she rolls her eyes. "That sucks."

As they keep the subject about the outside, I turn to check on the others. It kind of stunned me when I found them talking to the duo of guards who seem as though they have no interest in entertaining any word. Will, Zeke and Uriah are with Arthur, the first guard, while Lynn, Marlene and Shauna are with Thomson, the second guy. _What _are they doing?

"I like it here." Christina comments about the place which makes me turn my attention back to the two of them. "I like the air."

"And the trees. Don't forget about the trees and the fields." Tris says.

They both laugh.

"Right."

But I'm not focused on what they are saying. I'm looking at the guards' direction every once in a while to see if Zeke and the rest are still conversing with them. At once second they were still there, doing the same thing. But the next moment that I turned, I tilt my head back in surprise on the three guys' absence.

Will, Zeke and Uriah are gone; Lynn, Shauna and Marlene are entertaining the guards. _What is going on?_

"Hey," I call out. "Where are they?"

This caught Tris and Christina's attention.

"Who?"

I look sternly at them. "The guys are missing."

"_Will," _Christina mutters. "Will is…"

Then we heard a sound. A sound as if somebody has fallen on the surface. I was hoping to get a clue from the girls but they just stood there by the gate, acting like they have no idea where their friends go.

And again, there was a sound. But this time we know what that is.

"We've made it!" a male voice says.

This is the moment when we have figured where those three guys are. Will and the brothers have jumped on the other side of the fence.

_On the other side of the fence._

_On the other—_

The guards were alarmed with their voices. Instantly, they turn around with the pistols taken out from the holsters and they were quick with detecting where the guys are.

Arthur raises his gun and shoots a bullet on air. This is when we began running. Tris and Christina are on the frontline; I am behind them, and behind me are Lynn, Shauna and Marlene.

"Meet us at the other way!" Zeke is shouting as they are running at the opposed side of the fence.

The guards have separated ways. Arthur's the one catching us while Thomson passed by the gate to get the drift of the three guys. And although we know that this is trouble, I could still hear a sequence of laughter every after a gun has been fired. If I'm not mistaken, that laugh comes from Uriah.

The firing continues. This drives us to run, run, and run faster.

However, at the midst of running for dear life, Tris suddenly pauses before me to bend down and hold her knees. She's panting. So I stop too. I pat her back as I search for her expression. She looks flushed.

"C'mon, Tris. We have to keep running."

"You can go now, Tobias." She gasps hard for air. "I'll catch up."

"What are you saying? I'm not leaving you here."

"But you should—"

"Arms up!" somebody commands.

When I turn to my right, I find Arthur pointing his weapon to us. "I said arms up! You've broken a rule."

Tris tries to settle down as I've decided to handle this myself for the two of us. I told her to stay where she is, relax, and take her breath back. She tries to protest but I ignored it. Gradually and casually, I take a step closer to Arthur and align my face to the barrel of the gun.

"Put your arms up or I'll shoot you."

This time, he doesn't act as a robot as before.

"Do I have to repeat my—"

"No, you don't." I raise my arms up. "Take me."

"Tobias," Tris calls out from behind. "What are _you _doing?"

Arthur keeps the gun pointed at me as he approaches to do what I said. He was just few inches apart left in order to grab me—just _few _and he could shoot me anytime he wants to. Yet, just when he's about to seize my arm, I make a quick switch of events. I steal the weapon from his hand then kick his stomach hard that he flies back to the ground like the wind.

I left him lying there and take Tris by surprise when I grab her on the wrist to run away, to find where the others went.

"Did you see which path they used?" I ask between breaths.

"I-I didn't notice."

Then at the midst of running and wondering where they have gone, somebody calls out our names.

"Four!" a female voice says.

"Tris! Guys, over here!"

"There they are." Tris gestures to an area hidden by a cluster of trees. "Let's go."

She laces our fingers together as we take the last few steps toward them. Will stands next to Christina while the brothers crouch on the grass. They've climbed back.

"What happened to the two of you there?" Marlene asks.

Tris decided to squat too so she'd be able to calm down after the exertion. "I paused for a while to catch for my breath. Then one of the guards has reached us."

"But I've jolted him down and I got his gun."

"_Phew!_" Christina says. "That was close! It's good you have surpassed it."

"Yeah," I agree. "But _what _really happened back there?" I stare from Zeke to the others involved. "At one second you were only talking with the guards then the next thing I knew… you three were gone. Then we just figured that you have climbed down the other side of the fence."

"We were just… trying to see if those guards are alert or whatsoever." Will answers. "And well… to have a better look of what's in there."

"It's almost accomplished, guys." Zeke comments. "But not until Uriah made a sound and—_shoot! _Trouble, trouble."

"I even heard him laughing while they're being fired at." Shauna says.

"Okay," I say. "But how did you do it? How did you climb there without the guards knowing?"

Zeke switches his gaze from me to Uriah, then to Lynn and Shauna.

He chuckles. "We told the girls to entertain the guards so we could move with our plan."

"Yeah," Marlene says in unison. "We tried to distract them by saying non-sense things. It worked, didn't it?"

Uriah bursts into laughter. "Yes it did. But I just can't afford to think that Lynn did the flirting too."

With this, Uriah was joined in laughing; even more when Lynn pushes him from where he crouches and he falls his butt on the grass, still laughing.

"That wasn't flirting!" Lynn protests.

"Isn't it?" Uriah teases.

"Okay guys, enough, enough." Zeke says between laughter. "So… where do we go next?"

The laughter has subsided within a minute as they begin suggesting places. Christina says the carnival would be a good idea; Marlene goes with the zip line, while the others prefer to linger for a moment.

Then as we wait for nothing in that area, we heard a vehicle roaring as though it's coming in our way.

When we turned to see what that is, we found a truck.

A truck from Amity.

**A/N: **

**I have a song for the scene where they were running away from the guards and the guards were firing at them. It's titled as "**_**Frontline" **_**by **_**Pillar. **_**(I think the music and some lyrics suit that scene.) You could search it on Youtube. : )**

**So…. That's all for today! Thanks to everyone who spared time to read this, also the guests… thank you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :'D**

**Till the next time,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	49. Chapter Forty Nine

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does.**

**Chapter Forty Nine: Can You Hear It?**

**Tris' POV**

I rose from where I crouched just when the truck drives closer. It stops right in our area. Behind it is an open access where we spot baskets of apples along with three people wearing red and yellow. There was this boy who greeted me with a smile that shows his white teeth and for once, I thought I knew him.

"Beatrice," he says.

He hops down from the truck and surprises me with an embrace. Now I could only imagine my friends wondering who this boy is or how are we related. Tobias may also be thinking of confronting us of why we have to hug as though we haven't seen in each other for ages.

I haven't seen Robert Black since the Choosing Ceremony. I wasn't even aware that he transferred to Amity. He is Susan's brother, Susan—the girl whom I bet Caleb has an eye for. They used to be our company on going to school before. Robert was also nice for offering us a ride. Seeing him again gives me the sensation of being close to home. It is as if he's brought the scent of Abnegation with him.

He pulls away from the embrace at the first place. He holds me on both shoulders with the smile that didn't fade and says, "How have you been?"

With the thought that my friends might be waiting for me to introduce Robert to them, I force a smile and answers, "I-I'm okay. How's Susan?"

"She's chosen to stay in Abnegation. Didn't you know that?"

My forehead creases as I shake my head. I don't have the knowledge about that, either.

"Oh," I say. "Not until now."

He nods at me and peeks over my shoulder to have a glimpse of my friends' faces. Considering Robert's edgy expression as he looks at them one by one, they might have given him a glare or he was stunned with the number of tattoos that they have.

He turns back to me. "So… where are you guys going?"

"Um actually… we're touring around the city but we have no idea yet on where to go next. And well…" I glance at the truck and on the baskets of apples. "It seems to me that you're going to deliver those apples?"

"That's right." He says. "And if you guys want to have a ride… that'll be fine. We're just going to deliver the apples anyway."

None of us expected to encounter with the Amity before we went for a trip so I don't know if they're favor of Robert's idea. To have assurance, I spin around and ask them through facial expression.

"I'm just okay with that." Uriah says. "We haven't even decided yet on where to go next."

The others have no problem about it, either. However, among the nine people that I asked, Tobias is the only one who didn't give his answer. He gave Robert a cold look first then turns to me with calmer eyes. I wonder if he's thinking about that recent embrace which he may have given another meaning. Likewise, Robert begins to be cautious when he detected the manner Tobias looked at him. The gun that Tobias has in hand is probably another reason why he forces to avoid his gaze.

Once Tobias has given a nod of unison, everybody climbs up the back of the truck. There were no stools for us to sit at but the baskets of apples are located at the center, providing us some space on the sides. The nine of us fitted in one line. I'm sitting next to Tobias, our hands intertwined, while Robert sits across from us with his legs crossed, the baskets of apples serving as our divider.

The truck begins to drive, then. Nobody says a word until we have left the area. Other than the fact that Dauntless and Amity are different from one another, I haven't told them yet who Robert is. If they finally knew how we are related, then maybe they wouldn't be suspicious anymore.

"These are the friends that I've met in Dauntless, Robert." I say.

I begin with introducing Shauna who's on the last area and she gives Robert a small smile which I find as a forced one. I didn't have to speak anymore when Uriah utters his name himself. The rest that followed do the same thing, too. Some of them tried to smile at Robert; some just kept a usual mien.

"He's Robert Black." I tell them. "He was our neighbor back in Abnegation. He has a sister named Susan who's decided not to transfer."

As I say this, I am thinking twice about the idea of saying that Robert also used to offer me and Caleb a ride to school and to the way home when things haven't changed yet. The thing is I don't think that would make sense with Robert's sudden embrace recently. Maybe that just has to be left behind. Besides, it seems to me that they are _quite _satisfied with my explanation. I would just have to avoid meeting with Christina's gaze that's asking for more.

"Four," Tobias says when he figured that he's the only left who hasn't said his name.

Until now, Robert is still trying not to appear intimidated especially with Tobias's deep sound and dark eyes. He's also trying not to lay his attention on the gun settled in front of Tobias. Instead, he found our hands tangled and jumps to the conclusion that something bonds the two of us.

"So… you and Beatrice are… together."

"Yes," Tobias nods. "we are."

This leaves Robert in a stubborn point where he couldn't think of anything else to say other than, "That's… good." But fortunately, he has adapted within a minute. He had the excuse of introducing to us the duo of Amity girls on the corner of the truck who were quietly talking and playing music since we came.

"By the way… here are my fellow initiates. They're sisters and both born as Amity."

The girl on a yellow dress who has a ukulele made from wood gives us a warm smile. Her sister, on the contrary, looks pretty with the red dress matched with a headband on the same color. She's playing the violin whose wood shines with varnish.

"That's Jean." Robert gestures to the girl on yellow.

"And that's Isabel. She plays violin. Both of them have passion for music."

Judging by the way they smiled, I could tell that Jean is the younger sister. Her cheeks quite remind me of the apples with their rosy color and her eyes, when she smiles, glimmer with kindness. Her hair that she's tied on a braid is the color of the sun during the afternoon. The tip of her nose is close to perfect, leaving the rest of the flaws undefined. But I don't think her small face and her mole on the corner of her cheek are a flaw. They actually suit her features: young and slender. Not to mention that she can also play an instrument.

The same thing goes with Isabel, the one I assume as the older sister. Even from a distance, you could detect her ocean-blue eyes that have the ability to send you warmth just when they lay on you. You could also compare her hair with her violin since it almost has the same exact color of brown. And like Jean, she has a slender shape. The only thing that differentiates her from Jean, I guess, is that she has a long face and she's got no mole.

"You should hear them play." Robert says. "They're really good."

The sisters seemed fine with playing music themselves lately that they didn't think Robert will introduce them to us along with their talents. Isabel giggles as she leans closer to Jean to whisper something in her ear. Jean's lips curve into a smile after hearing her sister's message. Then, they angle their instruments as a sign that they're about to play. We all listen attentively.

Jean begins the music with the strumming of her ukulele. I watch the way her fingers switch from chord to chord and ask myself for how long did she practice herself just to be able to be that quick. If I were her, I bet my fingers would just settle themselves on any chord that they want. I bet they will be on chaos, not knowing which path to go. The more beautiful thing about is that her face is composed as she plays. Her fingers move automatically as if they were trained on this for years although her gaze is focus on Isabel, who enters the melody with her violin a moment later.

Isabel seals her eyes as the stick harmonizes with the strings of the violin. Their sounds blend together and the result is… _beautiful. _So beautiful. It's like you're taken away to somewhere far—somewhere far from here. It gives you the sensation of the wind embracing you like a man does, promising you safety and peace as you stand at the midst of a field where wheat crops grow. Then you close your eyes, and you see the memory of yesterdays. You wouldn't think about the bad times, just the good—the good things that have happened. Because that is the purpose of their music. To sooth your heart, mind and soul.

Jean and Isabel continue to play as the truck drives on. The sun has just set, sending us orange rays from east. The day is yet to be finished.

Xxxx

Robert invited us to have snacks at the Amity headquarters. We were hesitant at first due to some of the Amity who might get frightened with our arrival. They might assume that a war is going on when there really isn't one. But Robert insisted that everything will be fine and told us to consider this invitation as their gratitude for our help in delivering the apples. Since they offered us a ride, we decided to return the kindness on some extent through handing them assistance with the delivery.

We used the front gate to enter. Robert and the sisters lead the way onto a yard where a duo of benches is located at the middle. Around them are different sorts of trees and flowers such as orchids, roses and lilies. The air smells like pancakes. Or I'm the only one who can smell it that way. There's no noise, too. That's well guaranteed when you're in a place where what people do is pray, play instruments, paint and write poetries.

Some of the Amity members who are at the yard pay heed to our entrance while some just keep focus on their own business. Jean and Isabel separated from us when they found a circle of Amity gathered at a shed, playing music like them. Before we take the stairs through the hallways, Robert pauses before us and turns.

"To go to the cafeteria, you just have to walk a straight direction. Then, you will find a left and a right pathway. Go to the right one. You will instantly see the cafeteria."

"Where are you going?" Christina asks.

"I'm just going to talk to Ms. Johanna Reyes about the delivery of apples and about your arrival."

"Is she the leader of your faction?" Marlene inserts.

"No," Tobias answers for Robert. "The Amity doesn't have a leader."

"That's right." Robert agrees. "We only have a representative who would speak in our behalf and we have chosen Ms. Johanna for that role."

Then before Robert prolongs to his purpose, he first asks Tobias in his politest way to find the gun he's holding a hiding spot. Since placing it somewhere behind the plants may not be secure, he just tucks it on the belt of his jeans. After that, we finally take the stairs.

The Amity in the cafeteria isn't aware that we would come yet they still welcome us with warmth. Everyone is wearing red and yellow. It's sort of bizarre to know that we're the only people on black but it seems as if it doesn't matter to them. We sat on an unoccupied table. I was right with what I've smelled from the outside. They're making pancakes. Uriah sniffs the smell out from his nostrils and comments, "Delicious. I'm so hungry already."

Then his stomach roars at the midst of silence and we burst into laughter.

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah, obviously you are." Lynn teases.

An Amity woman standing by the stove gestures to us once the pancakes are done. We helped ourselves with providing each one a plate then our saliva almost drip with the image of the pancakes. Once our plates are filled, we went back to the table.

Uriah couldn't stop complimenting how the pancake tastes like. Every now and then, he would say something about it. And if it's not the pancake that he wants to compliment, it is, no other than the sisters, Jean and Isabel.

"I like her hair." Uriah says, referring to Jean. "And also her smile. Did you see her smiling at _me _when Robert said her name?"

"At _you_?" Marlene snorts. "Dream on. You might have gone blind."

Uriah chuckles. "Why, Mar? Are you jealous? Are you?"

Marlene makes a face and sticks her tongue out to Uriah. "Shut up. I'm not jealous."

Zeke whistles. "Seems like we have a new pair in here."

Since Marlene is just sitting next to Zeke, she nudges his elbow. "You can have Uriah for yourself, Zeke."

Zeke waves a hand. "Whoa, whoa there. We've been warned as kids not to fall in love with each other."

With this, we all laugh.

"That's disgusting." I say.

"I know, I know."

We were at the midst of laughing about the brothers when I realized that since we arrived here at the cafeteria, Tobias is no longer with us. When I turn to my right, I find an empty seat. He was supposed to be sitting beside me. Why didn't I notice that before? And where did he _go_?

"Where's Four?" The tense in my voice is evident enough for them to stop laughing.

"He was just… with us earlier, right?"

"No," I rose from the chair. "He isn't. I can't remember that he came here with us."

"But… but I really thought that he was—"

"What was that?" the woman who cooked the pancakes asks an Amity boy. "Where does the noise come from?"

The Amity boy shrugs. "I-I don't know. From the outside, maybe."

This makes us look at one another with alarmed expressions. Something is going on outside. And Tobias is lost. He might be _there—_there at where the noise is.

We instantly left our plates with no hesitation to run at the yard. The moment we got there, a lot of the Amity members are gathered in a circle as if there's a circus show. I insert myself into the crowd to find out what's happening then my heart thumps faster when I saw Robert separating Tobias from an Amity boy.

Christina appears to my side and links her arm with mine. "What's going on?"

"I-I don't know. I think… I think they almost spank each other."

"Hey," Christina untangles her arm then points a finger to the Amity boy. "I know him."

"How?"

"He _was_ a Candor." She says matter-of-factly. "I remember him as the guy who frequently gets into trouble for his smart mouth."

If that so, is it possible that this boy has said something foul to Tobias that caused his anger?

"Don't you _ever_ dare say that to my face again." Tobias warns the boy. I left Christina along with Will who just arrived, to get myself beside Tobias. I lace his hand on mine, looks up to him and ask, "What happened?"

He leaves one last glare to the Amity boy before facing me. "I'll tell you later."

Robert sides with his fellow Amity member in order to keep a distance between him and Tobias. The tension hasn't lessened much yet when another Amity boy comes running in of the scene, catching his breath as he reached Robert.

When he has calmed down, Robert asks him why.

"Ms. Johanna Reyes is asking for him."

**A/N:**

**DUN DUN DUNNNNN! Okay, so first of all, I'd like to thank each one of you for making me reach 500 reviews! I wouldn't get there without you readers! This is amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you! **

**Second,**

**I slept by 12 a.m. already since I was still reading a book then woke up by 7 a.m. and I cannot get back to sleep anymore. Some of the scenes on this chapter were just formed when I woke up. Maybe they were haunting me as I sleep. O.o**

**Anyway, regarding the scene where Jean and Isabel played music, here is the song that they played on the ukulele & violin: **

**"****_Nothing Has to Happen" _****by ****_Hungry Ghosts_**

**It's an instrumental song, very relaxing! I was listening to it, in fact, as I wrote this chapter. : D**

**And by the way guys, I may not be able to update tomorrow since we have a Speech Festival on school and I have to write four speeches. It's already due this coming Thursday. I will update once I'm settled. : )**

**So…. Why do you think Tobias got mad with the Amity boy? **

**AND, why is Johanna Reyes asking for him?**

**All of that will be on Chapter 50! : D**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	50. Chapter Fifty

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does.**

**Chapter Fifty: Easy, easy**

**A/N:**

**Sorry for not updating in a while… anyway here's Chapter 50 everyone… : )**

**Tobias's POV**

"_He's Marcus Eaton's son." The Amity boy was saying to an Amity girl. "He was what the newspaper's talking about. His father used to abuse him that's why he transferred to Dauntless. And until now… he's still afraid of him."_

_My hand clenched around the gun tucked under my belt, not because I was planning to shoot him but rather because it's the first thing I have reached. _

"_Lower your voice, Kurt." The girl murmured. "He might hear you."_

"_Why are they here at the first place, anyway?"_

_I tilt my head gradually onto their direction and met the boy's gaze. He tried to look away in order to act as if he's said nothing while I just kept my focus on him. When he couldn't tolerate the hush anymore, he returned the look._

"_What did you just say?" I took a step closer. _

_The girl swallowed hard, moistening her lips every once in a while. Kurt, as what the girl said his name was, pulled out a casual face and said, "You were the one who killed a woman on an early age. That's you, right? You were at the news."_

"_Kurt," she nudged his elbow. "Stop it."_

"_W-why?" he turned to her. "Isn't it true?"_

_I took one more step to reach him, to grab the hem of his shirt, and in response, he cautiously walked backwards along with the girl. I almost forgot that we were in the Amity headquarters. With this kind of boy, who would think that this is Amity? The only thing that kept running in my head is that I hated what he said. I never want to hear the word son being linked with Marcus's name then referring it directly to me, again. _

_Kurt. I wouldn't forget that name._

_And since he seemed as if he wasn't even that scared, I thought of teaching him some lesson. I grabbed the hem of his shirt, the course of act I had on mind, and leaned down to his face to send him warning._

_Then Robert came running in the scene, separating us from each other. _

"Here is the office." Robert says as we stand before a hardwood door. "Ms. Johanna Reyes is inside."

With furrowed brows, I turn to him. He seems a little intimidated when I watch him from head to toe and vice versa. I could actually take this chance to confront him about his sudden embrace to Tris but I decided to just let that pass and better ask him what on earth this is for.

"She's just going to talk to you." He clears his throat. "That's just it."

I roll my eyes, say no more, and twirl the knob open. I bang the door behind me. The office isn't even that massive like what I expected. It's quite big. There are a couple of bookshelves against the walls, containing piles of folders, papers, a few books, and mostly small pots of pansies. Also, an alignment of paintings is framed on the walls. But they aren't really what I came here for. I'm not standing in this four cornered room before a woman in a red crisp blouse and dark pencil skirt to stare at these artworks.

She must be Johanna Reyes.

"Tobias Ea—"

"_Four," _I corrected. "Four is my name."

Even from a distance, I could detect the long scar running from her eye to her chin, rendering her blind in one eye and giving her lisp when she speaks.

"Oh, sorry." She tips her head shyly and smiles. "Four. I'm Johanna Reyes, the representative of Amity. Have a seat."

I didn't follow her request immediately. I let myself stand there for a while, hands in pockets, looking at her levelly. At the corner of my eyes, I spot two Amity men. The one on my left is on yellow; the one on the right is wearing red. I glance at them just to find any sign of what is their purpose in this room but because of that friendly impression, I think this might be a little hard to guess.

"Four," Johanna calls again. "Have your seat."

"Why?" I ask nonchalantly. "Is this some kind of a principal office? Is this the same situation of a fifteen-year-old boy who broke a rule, was asked by the principal, and is going to receive his detention?"

"No," she shakes her head. "This is about you. And what happened back there outside."

I let out a hysterical laugh. "I'll tell you what. First, I'm not going to get my ass on that chair. Second, you might consider the idea of replacing me with that boy because right now, I prefer to leave this place. And third, I'm questioning how he passed the initiation here when he obviously doesn't reflect to _this _faction's manifesto."

"You know," she says. "We can discuss about it without any foul talking. But since you don't like to sit, then maybe you could lower your voice and calm down."

Lower my voice? I didn't realize that I've raised my sound by some means.

"So you want _me _to tell _you _what just happened." I say matter-of-factly. "Well. There was this boy talking about me—the _news _about me—to this girl. And I don't think I still have to name you that news since I'm sure that you are aware about it, aren't you?"

She nods. "I am. That was the paper that the Erudite has published."

_Stupid Erudite. And the news that they have printed with my name. This is happening—all of these—because of that paper. _By now, I could only think of fuming thoughts. Mentioning the name Erudite either mentally or verbally is like tasting venom, to me.

"The point here is," I stare right into her face, my voice fighting not to rise, but I figured that I have problem with that. "I _don't_ want people lingering around just to talk about me, to judge my character, especially when they don't know who I really am. And I don't want to hear anybody linking my name to Marcus's name, recalling the awful experience that I had with him!"

"But Four – he's your father. And what has happened is gone. You—"

"You don't know me." I say firmly. "And you don't know what you're saying. It's not gone unless people stop exposing it."

"You just have to let them and they're going to stop, Four." She tries to say in an unruffled tone. "If not, you'd only get yourself to such trouble."

"I already am in trouble!" I blurt out. "I've been since I was left with him two years ago!"

"That was two years ago." She says. "You have made your choice and transferred faction. There's no point of going back in the past over and over again. The point is _now_. The point is about forgetting and forgiving and—"

"Enough of this!" I flip my gaze away from hers, shifted it on a wall where a painting is framed. "I don't want you to continue."

"Hey," she says again. I didn't look. "_Hey." _And this time, I heard a hint of warning on her voice.

I look back to her.

"_What_ is that behind your shirt?" she asks. "Can you take it out?"

I didn't check or touch my shirt for I knew which she is referring to. She stares at it for a longer while, examining its shape.

"I'm pretty sure that's a weapon…. a _gun_."

"It's not mine." I say, bypassing yes. "It's one of the guards'."

"Give it to me." She orders. "You know that's not allowed here. Give it to me _please_."

"It might bang if I do so."

I am not underestimating her ability with holding a weapon on hand for I don't know if she knows how to operate a gun. I only said that to scare her off a little. Right now, the emotions have mixed. Her words of persuasion telling me to _forgive _Marcus didn't work. I knew, from the start, that that is where she's going to drive the conversation to. I also knew that she was trying to help. But none of the things that she's said changed my mind. They only made me feel _worse_.

"Don't talk like that, Four." she disturbingly says. "If I can't help you with what's bothering you then I could do it with calming you down. I – I know you won't bang that gun."

"I don't know." It's a simple line but I saw that it alarmed her even more. She keeps on staring at the item behind my shirt, probably wondering how she could get it from me.

Then she tries to pull the anxious face away. She settles her hands on the mahogany desk and I caught her making eye contact with the two Amity men on my sides. This got me thinking that she has a scheme.

The men reach for me. I can't tell who's doing this and who's doing that but one of them held me steady while the other one promptly plunges a serum on the side of my neck.

"It'll calm you down."


	51. Chapter Fifty One

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does.**

**Chapter Fifty One: Euphoria **

**A/N:**

**So what if Tobias is under the peace serum….**

**Tobias's POV**

The wind carries you despite of how tall and heavy you are. It takes you from left to right, back to forth, with your arms spread wide. You're flying behind the clouds, you see the skyscrapers—_all _of them and you aren't scared if you might fall and die.

That's the mood right now. I feel so... _hype_.

I look around the room in an exaggerated way of swaying my head more than I should. _Wow_, I thought. _This place is so nice, huh. And the scent smells so good, too. _Two men stand nearby the door, wearing red and yellow. The one on red wears a pair of shoes that has caught my attention that I want to try on them. His mate wears this shirt that I assume will suit me like it suits him. I don't care if it's yellow. I think I like the color yellow, anyway.

Then I spin around and found a woman looking at me levelly. If I'm not mistaken – I have already met her. When was that? The other day? The other week? Fifteen minutes ago?

"Hey!" I grin. "There you are!"

She doesn't say anything. She just continues to stare. It's like she's frozen into an ice which makes me wonder if she's a robot disguised as human.

I take a step closer to her table and snap a finger before her eyes. She tilts back her head with a startled expression—an act that caused for me to laugh.

"You okay there, huh?" I ask.

I sat on the chair near the table as she composes her face. I settle my hands with fingers laced on top of my head then hang my legs on the opposed chair, putting myself onto a cozy position. I seal my eyes; think of happy thoughts and, in a sudden, I smile. The smile then becomes a grin and the grin remains when I open my eyes.

"So!" I surprise Johanna with the highness of my tone. "How are things?"

I turn to her so I'm able to see what her reaction is. She no longer looks weird as before but she's staring at me as if she wants to send me out of this room. _Why? _Do I smell like garbage? And do I _look _like garbage?

"Everything's fine… Four." She says. "And how are you?"

"I'm _damn _good. Actually I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Do you have horses here?"

She's a bit stunned that she does that tilting of the head again. Why does she keep on doing that? Is there something wrong with her head? Or she really just got a stiff neck?

"Hey," I call out softly. "I was asking if you have horses."

She shakes her head. "We have none, Four."

"Oh," I make a pitiful face. "That's bad."

She doesn't have response to that. And honestly, I don't understand how these people could be so quiet. Don't they like noise? Well I like noise, sort of. And I like talking. How about them? Do they think that the world will shake if they utter a word? _Oooh, _that's weird. I'd just probably vary from subject to subject and have them listen. I don't think I could keep my mouth shut.

"Hey, that's a nice painting." I say, referring to the framed picture of a girl whose face is closed up. She has brown eyes and her eyelids are long, so as her nose. Her eyebrows are sort of thick that I find myself laughing about it. Then at the lower part of her face, near her crooked smile, is a… well… a dark round thing. Is that a mole? Oh yes, that's a mole!

I crease my forehead when I found _that _fault.

"Hmmm," I tap my chin. "I think she would have been prettier if she doesn't have that mole. Uh – no, wait. I think she's okay with that mole. But… the mole should've been placed on her temple. Or on her nose. Or on her forehead, right at the middle of her forehead."

Then I chuckle with how silly my idea is. But hey. It makes somehow sense, right? Of all the areas of her face, why draw the mole near that smile?

"I painted her." Johanna says.

"_Ooooh," _I say, overstressing the sound of _u._ "Really, really! Are you offended with my idea? It was just an idea. But well – I think you're good. You might want to teach me how to paint?"

Then I gave her a teasing grin. She looks away, avoiding my gaze.

"When did you decide that you _want _to paint, Four?"

"Two seconds ago." I say.

"Oh," and she tilts her head back again. She really won't get tired of doing it, I suppose.

"Anyway!" I said the word out loud then this time, turns to the two Amity men in order to check if they aren't getting weary of just standing there, listening to me talk and saying nothing at all.

"Nice shirt," I tell the one on yellow. "Have I said that earlier?"

"N-no, you haven't."

"And nice shoes."

"Thanks."

"No, not you. _Him._"

The man on red glances at his mate then turns to me to say, "Uh – thanks."

I swing my attention back to Johanna with a whistle. My legs remain hanging on the opposite chair as my hands are on the top of my head.

"So, where was I?"

"You – you haven't said anything new yet."

"Ah," I say with pride. "I've got few things to say about myself. You know… just the usual ones like… I work at the control room and I'm really good with computers. I ranked first during my own initiation and well – what else…"

I'm doing the playful grin again, biting my lower lip.

"Oh! I also like the Dauntless cake. No – scratch that. I _love _Dauntless cake. Have you taste it?"

She just shrugs and says, "Never."

And I shrug too. "I see. But you know… although I love Dauntless cake, although it's like the most _delicious _thing ever, it's nothing compared to my girlfriend. Do you know her?"

"N-no?" she answers. "But I suppose you have come here together."

"Yeah," I say hoarsely. "I love her more than I love Dauntless cake. But sometimes… I love Dauntless cake more than I love her." I chuckle. "Don't tell her that."

Then right after my mention of her name, it struck me that… _where is she by the way?_

I surprised Johanna by sitting straight from my lazy position.

"Is - something wrong, Four?"

"Tris." I say. "Have you seen her?"

"Uh… I haven't seen her _yet_, in fact. Perhaps she's just around?"

I instantly rose from my seat. "I shall look for her, then."

"Um… well—"

"_Bye_."

Before I reach for the door, I ask the two Amity men for a high five first. Then I compliment their shirt and shoes again while in return, they stare at me with bewilderment. What's wrong with these people? Anyway, that doesn't matter. I need to look for Tris. _My _Tris. When I shut the door behind me, it was my objective. There are no people at the hallways. I just hear conversations from the outside and from the other areas, wondering if Tris could be in one of them. Unfortunately, I'm not that familiar with this place. But screw it; I _want _to see her now. I _need _to see her now.

A door clicks open from my right. It took me a second or two before realizing that it's the door of the girls' rest room. Two girls on dresses, red and yellow, have come out.

"Hey, hey." I call to them. "I think you are… wait – I've already seen you. You are… uh… Isabel! Right, right?"

"Y-yes, it's me."

"And you are…" I snap my finger a couple of times as if it'll bring me the name. "Jean! You were the girls who're on the truck with us on the way here."

"Uh… yeah. What can we do to help you?"

I watch the two of them from head to toe then vice versa. _Young and petite, _I thought. _They're also pretty._ But I'm already taken. And I'm looking for my Tris.

"Have you seen my girlfriend?" I ask. "She was also at the truck. Uh – she's short…" Why am I saying she's short as for a description? "And she's wearing all black."

"Ah," Isabel says. "We've just seen her in the rest room."

"Yeah," Jean inserts. "You could wait for her here. I think she's about done."

When they have turned, I waited outside. It was just about five seconds and the door clicks open again.

There she is. There's my Tris.

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

I come out of the rest room, thinking about Tobias, what made him angry and why Johanna Reyes was asking for him when I saw him staring up the ceiling while whistling. Was he waiting for me? And – wait. He's whistling? He rarely does that.

"Hey," I walk to him. "What happened? What did you two talk about?"

I was expecting to meet a Tobias who's serious and has cold-looking eyes. However, when he turns to face me, I don't think that's what I saw. His approach is… _different. _It's like there's something wrong about this. He seems – drunk in a way that he isn't. I don't know. It just struck me that this doesn't feel like him.

"Are you just alright?" I ask. "Hey, Tobias. I'm talking t—"

Before I could finish my sentence, he has already claimed my mouth with his. He pulls me closer to him then corners me on a wall. He frames my face, deepening the kiss, and suddenly I felt the urge to kiss him back. So I wrap my arms around his neck as his hands shifted from my face to my waist. At the midst of our lips against each other, I felt him _smiling_. And I thought: he also doesn't do that before. How come did he talk to Johanna Reyes then walk out of the office being like _this_?

I pull away but not so much to search for his expression. He's doing it. He's doing _that _boyish flirtatious grin.

"Tobias, what—"

"I missed you." He says sluggishly. "I missed you, _babe_."

Wait – _what? _Babe? _Babe? _Since when did he call me _babe?_

"Tobias, can you please tell me what happened—"

He kisses me lightly. "Have I told you before what are the things that I love about you?"

Although I know that I shouldn't be entertaining this question, I still fall for it. I look up to him, asking him through eye contact what are _those _things. He tucks a hair behind my ear and begins.

"I like your nose." He says it in an awkward way so he chuckles and leaves a peck on my nose. "I also like your grayish-blue eyes. And your hair. And your cheeks. And your…"

He leans down to kiss me tenderly. "Lips."

"But other than that… I love you for your selflessness, bravery and for simply being Tris—my Tris—my…" he pauses for a second. "Girlfriend."

And before I knew it, he was kissing me again. I try to fight the urge of _wanting _to kiss him back—the urge of letting him in—but I can't. I walk forward, as the kiss goes on, and he walks backward. Now it's him standing against the opposite wall, here at the hallways, here at the Amity headquarters. He carries me up and puts my legs around his waist. There I framed his face while his hands held my butt. And he was smiling again as the kiss develops.

I don't know for how long we kissed there. But soon, when we needed some space for air, we pulled away. I thought his mien has gone back to normal and he's no longer acting strange. But still, there's that Tobias who seems as though he's forgotten about how mad he was to the Amity boy. This is when I figured that perhaps Johanna did something to him.

"What did they do to you?" I furrow my brows. "Tell me. What did—"

"Nothing," he says. "They just injected me a serum but it's not bad. It'll make you feel relaxed, make you feel—"

"A _serum?_"

He chuckles. "Yes, a serum. And it's no big deal."

"Tobias, they injected you with a vague serum that's why you're acting like this."

He does that sluggish smile once more. "Acting like what?"

"Acting like—"

"Never mind."

And he kisses me again.

**A/N:**

**So… hi. I hope this isn't terrible. What do you think of Tobias under peace serum? And of the 'Fourtris' romance at the hallway? Please tell me what you think! I like hearing from all of you. :')**

**I might update the next chapter tomorrow. : )**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	52. Chapter Fifty Two

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does.**

**Chapter Fifty Two: Strange**

**Tris' POV**

"Tobias, no." I haul away from the kiss. "I have to find out what type of serum is that."

He doesn't frown when I said that and when I hop down the ground. This only means to state the obvious that the serum injected to him has an operative effect. Johanna owes me an explanation for this. The fact that she's Amity—we're _in _Amity—isn't an excuse that the serum guarantees security.

"Where is the office?" I ask.

"It's just _there_." He gestures to his right. I was stunned when I figured that we aren't miles apart from it at all. "But I don't want to go back there anymore. It was boring. Johanna kept on tilting her head back. I bet that's her exercise."

_Oh c'mon, Tobias. _He's saying weird things. If he is himself right now, he might be talking about the story behind the scene at the yard. But it's not that. The subject varies from Johanna and her head to the point when he says he wants to learn how to paint while just few months ago, he was the one who taught me with _guns _and _knives_. Nothing relates them with painting.

"I will talk to her." I cross my arms. "And you would come with me."

He smirks. "You can't tolerate being apart from me, huh?"

"No I can't." I say. "But this is another case."

I held him on the wrist and reached for the office which is surprisingly good in less than a minute. I burst in of the room without knocking, find Johanna Reyes reading some papers on her table, and surprise the duo of Amity men sitting on a couch at a corner. It only took me a glance with what they're doing – conversing about a matter I barely hear – before swaying my attention to Johanna.

Her eyes leave the papers to look at me. "Hi. You must be – Tris." Then she pulls out a smile, an Amity custom.

Tobias bypasses me and occupies the office chair before Johanna's desk. He holds onto the arms of the chair, sways the chair and whistles.

"I'm not going to take this any longer." I tell her firmly. "What serum did you inject for him to act this strange?"

Johanna glances at Tobias who's rather looking at me than paying heed on what she has to say.

"Don't worry Tris." She set the papers aside. "It's not negative for his health. The serum's purpose is to—"

I fly a hand over my head. "This doesn't actually speak for his health. This is about his _behavior_. You heard me? It might have been better if you just talk to him or let him go but not inject him anything – that serum – that'll only turn him into this!"

"Tris," she tries to say my name politely. "It's a peace serum. _Peace _serum. He was angry when he came here in the office. I tried to discuss the issue with him, tried to calm him down and to assure him that it's okay. But he wasn't listening. He—"

"He is not a kid." I lock my gaze with her. "He isn't some five-year-old boy whom you expect to be fine straightaway. He's a _deep _person and you don't know that. That is why you shouldn't have used that serum on him. You shouldn't have."

I'm in a midst of a serious conversation and urge to speak for Tobias when he suddenly stops whistling, smiles at me and say, "Hey. You look beautiful when you're mad."

However, I tried to ignore it so I won't get distracted. He rises from the chair while Johanna goes for her response.

"But it worked." She says. "It has calmed him down, you see. I was worried that something terrible might happen with the gun that he possesses."

_Gun? _

Ah, yes. The gun that he's got from the man guarding the fence. The gun that Robert was asking for him to hide. _That _gun. Does Johanna means to tell me that Tobias might have banged it if they didn't inject him the serum? Do they really think little of him that way?

"You thought he'd use it against anyone, especially here in your place? Is that what you—"

"Clumsiness." Tobias says.

I peek over my shoulder to find out what he's up to and saw him picking up a book that he's just fallen. He's checking on the bookshelves. I don't know what is it that he's looking for but I'm certain that he isn't into reading.

When he catches me staring at him, he chuckles. "What?"

"Figuring out what you're doing with that book."

"No – I mean, what are you two busy with? We could get out of here, you know. She might not be done with the papers. So it's just you and me."

His sentence sounds a little normal but this isn't still him. There's an edge on his voice that has a flirtatious approach. And by _you and me_, I knew what he meant.

Again, I ignored him and turn back to Johanna who's trying to keep a composed face. She's impossible. How could she just linger with that face while I'm expressing my displeasure in here? Is this some kind of joke to her?

"So – Tris." she half-smiles. "Please let's do not make this worse. The serum will pull off soon. _Soon, _when his anger has passed enough. For the meantime, you could stay while that happens. It won't take so long."

"And what if it doesn't?"

"It will. Trust me."

I shut my mouth for a while, not because I was convinced to trust her but rather because I wonder for how long the serum will last. We've been away from the Dauntless compound for about three hours now and nobody has the knowledge that we're here in Amity. It's not that I'm scared with the possibility that someone might notice our absence since this afternoon. I just want the serum to end now so Tobias will go back to normal and we can go _home_.

When silence prolongs, a pair of sturdy arms hugged me from behind. My shoulders lifted in surprise and I incline my head just to find Tobias leaning closer to rub his nose against mine. He then holds me in the waist and steadies me so I could face him. And he left me stunned when, in a sudden, he frames my face to kiss me tenderly.

But as much as I want him, it struck to me that _hey, _you're not alone! You're sharing a room with a trio of Amity people!

And with that, I pulled away. The serum is still there in him. He doesn't look at me the way Tobias does. He remains on the laid-back, playful viewpoint that doesn't belong to him.

I felt my cheeks turn hot as peppers when I thought of Johanna and the two Amity men watching us. But when I look back at her, she doesn't seem surprised with what she's witnessed. And instead of laying the subject about that recent kiss, she just moves on.

"So… like what I've said – you could stay for a while. Just for a while – until the serum pulls off."

"Hey," he calls to Johanna. But his sound isn't as drunk-like as recently. "Remember what I told you? Don't tell her about what I said."

So they've only met for like thirty minutes ago and they've already shared a secret to each other and now he doesn't want me to know? I hope this is only because of the serum and nothing personal.

"O – okay." Johanna answers with a beam. "Robert could assist you in one of the rooms upstairs. I suggest Four to stay there. It'll be easier for the serum to end if he's all by himself."

Fortunately, I'm no longer flushed. I have collected my typical expression. I blow the thought about the kiss, hold Tobias on the forearm and leave the room.

The moment we've left, I didn't expect to see Christina – and the rest of our friends passing by. They also have Robert as their company.

Christina's eyes light up when she sees me. "Tris!"

"Hey, Shauna." Tobias says. "And Zeke."

They have easily detected the uncommon paint on Tobias's face. He was smirking when I turned to him.

"W – What's wrong with Four?" Marlene asks me.

"And… what were you guys doing inside that room?" Will inserts.

"Remember that he's got mad with the Amity boy outside?" I say.

"Yeah?"

"Because of that, Johanna Reyes asked to meet him. To – you know – try to calm him down. But he didn't. And so, she's decided to inject him with a serum that's—"

"The peace serum." Robert finishes for me.

They all turn to him.

"Peace serum?" Uriah echoes.

"What does it do?" Zeke inquires.

"It'll make you forget the reason why you became angry over something or someone. Usually, its effects is feeling relaxed and at the same time, being so… high. That's what happened to him."

"And just lately, I went to talk to Johanna." I got their attention back. "I confronted her about what she did."

"And what did she say?"

"She suggested for us to stay unless he's back to normal."

Then they all look at Tobias again, whose hands are in his pockets, swaying. When he has sensed that he's the center of attention, he turns to us and says something that we _knew _a Tobias wouldn't dare to say in public.

"I want to pee."

The stranger thing about it is that he said it casually like a plain sentence. Some of us had their jaws fell open, looking at one another, not sure if we would laugh. This is quite funny, yes, but I'm certain that once the serum has pulled off and his mind gets fixed, he would be embarrassed.

Robert tries to bite back a smile. "Let's just take him upstairs."


	53. Chapter Fifty Three

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent; Ms. Veronica Roth does.**

**Chapter Fifty Three: The Obvious**

**A/N:**

**I would explain the reason why I didn't update for 4 days through an author's note, later. For the meantime, here's Chapter 53! : )**

**Tris' POV**

About thirty minutes have passed since we took Tobias in a room upstairs Amity headquarters. I was checking on him every once in a while to figure if the serum has wear off. On my first visit, he was lying on bed with arms tucked beneath his head, humming through a song with words I haven't shaped. On the second, I was astonished to see him standing on his feet while reading a book that has a hardbound cover. On the third, he was wandering around the room, entertaining himself by looking on the shelves.

This is my fourth visit now. If the serum is still in him, Johanna might give us the option of staying overnight until Tobias stops being strange. Or, we could decide for ourselves. And with what I can see, my friends prefer to go back to Dauntless as soon as possible.

I knock on the door twice – so soft that I barely hear it. I told myself not to get my hopes up that I'd be facing the _real _him again because if I do, I would only be frustrated.

With my eyes sealed, I open the door. It escapes a squeak that catches Tobias's attention. He was sitting on the bed with a tilted back and arms on the hips then he looks up just to find me standing before him.

The instant I meet his gaze, I knew that it _is _Tobias.

"I must have embarrassed myself." He says.

By the way he said it I heard an edge on his voice. I amble toward the bed and take the unoccupied spot beside him.

"Hey," I softly say. "It's fine. I've confronted Johanna about it."

"She's the one who put me in that insanity." He turns to me. "She knew that I was mad and I won't calm down so she took benefit of that."

"I know," I touch his hand. "But – tell me. I don't know yet. What made you angry?"

He inclines himself onto front view – on the bookshelf a few inches apart from him – then begins talking with a lower sound.

"It was _that _Amity boy. I think everyone in this place has read the article regarding about my past, on the Erudite's paper. But all the same, he had no right to judge me based on what he's figured."

Just then, a bit of fury for that Amity boy festers in me. However, knowing that it's all done and I won't like the idea of being under the peace serum, I just let it go.

"Johanna was saying kind things to calm me down." He continues. "But I hated them. For her it was easy to say that I _should _forgive Marcus and forget everything that he's done but for me, it isn't that simple. And she didn't understand that. She also thought I will make a scene by firing the gun that I possess. Did I? And even if I would try, it won't work. She's asked two people to plunge a serum in me. Only – I haven't protested anymore."

"Robert says it's called as peace serum."

"Yeah, that creepy serum."

"I didn't know that you had it in you when I saw you waiting for me outside the restroom. You – you actually surprised me. It was bizarre. You were different."

Again, he turns to me. The hint of embarrassment is playing in his eyes.

"What did I do?"

A curve of smile starts to cross my face and I can't help it. Tobias just stares at me dead serious, waiting for my response.

"Hey," he says. "What did I do?"

"Well – you suddenly hauled me for a kiss like you were never angry. Then – then when you pulled away, you called me… you called me… _babe_, and—"

"I said that?"

With this, I've no longer resisted the urge to burst into laughter that surprises him.

"Yes you did!" I say. "And you know what else? When we went to Johanna's office because I was about to confront her, you were checking on the bookshelves – on every book you find – and you know that you really don't do that."

"Yes I don't."

"Then when Johanna said that we could stay for a while until the serum wears off, we left the room and met our friends who happened to be with Robert."

His expression switches from serious to alarm.

"And I did another weird thing?"

I nodded with a grin.

"What is it?"

"You greeted Zeke and Shauna in a sluggish manner at first which made it easy for them to tell that there was something unusual with how you act."

"Then?"

"Then – well um – you…"

"I? I – what?"

While Tobias is dying to know about it, I couldn't get myself to begin speaking for the laughter is interrupting every word I would utter. But once it has embedded, I finally tell him.

"You said you wanted to pee."

And like what I was expecting, his jaw falls open.

"_Are you serious?_"

"Yes!" I punch him playfully on the arm. "You said it right in front of _us_."

"Who?"

"All of us!"

He then turns his gaze away from mine, still in disbelief. He looks down the hardwood floors and I caught him flushed.

"I knew it." He says. "That serum transformed me into a ridiculous human being."

I snuggle closer to him, link my arm with his and put a finger beneath his chin so he'd face me.

"Forget about the serum, Tobias." I say. "And forget what that Amity boy said. He doesn't know you. What matters is that the serum is over and we can now go back."

"Go back?"

I plant a brief yet tender kiss on his lips. "We'd go back to Dauntless."

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

_6:46 p.m., _my wristwatch says. That is when we've decided to leave. Robert doesn't seem so daunted by me anymore when he escorts us to the gate. I bet it's half because of the serum and half because of the quirky things I both said and done. On the contrary, Zeke emerges beside me as the rest continues to walk along the path through the trains. Tris has mentioned that I greeted him in a sluggish way. He must be here to tease me about it.

"If I were the one on that peace serum, I could have done silly things too." He says with a small laugh. "Did Tris tell you—"

"Yes she did. The 'I want to pee' part is probably the silliest thing that I said under that serum."

Zeke laughs with how I put emphasis onto the line.

"You actually said it casually." He notifies. "But if you weren't in a serum, we knew you wouldn't _ever _dare to blurt that out."

"It's good you knew."

"So –"Zeke says, changing the subject finally. "You think we'd be dead once we arrive in Dauntless? I don't think anyone was aware of our absence and our destination."

"Screw that. Eric won't mind. We have the right to wander around the city."

"Totally." He agrees.

Just then, from not so far away, I had the glimpse of Tris and Uriah who paused from walking. Tris holds onto her knees while Uriah inclines himself to search for her expression.

"You alright, Tris?" I heard him asking.

"Yes, I'm fine." She answers. "It's just – I felt my knee has reacted a little."

"Why? What happened to your knee?"

As I continue to watch them together, I caught an evident emotion with Uriah's face and sound. He might have said that he likes Marlene and that he won't go between me and Tris but with this scenario playing before me, I could tell that half of it was a _lie_. He does have special feelings for Tris. And there's no way he could deny that. It's pretty obvious that he wants to carry her so she doesn't have to walk more miles to reach the trains. However, because he knew that I was watching, he didn't make any move.

I approach the two of them and Uriah tries to hide recent emotion that I saw through straightening himself.

"I'd carry you on my back." I tell her. "You've walked and ran a lot today."

Still holding on her knees, she looks up to me.

"But you would bring me down later. I'd have to jump the train myself."

"I figured that you'd say that."

A smile curves in her lips as I crouch on the ground to let her ride my back. She wraps her arms around my neck and I held her legs for support when I rise again.

"Is there something wrong with her knee?" Uriah inquires with the obvious recent concern.

"She got jerked there this morning." I simply say.

"By whom?"

"By Brent."

Uriah hasn't met Brent yet and he has no idea who he is at the first place but rather than asking me about him, he just nods.

The trains are coming in less than twenty seconds. Tris hops down from my back and steadies herself while the others align their selves with us.

Once the trains come to front view, we all make a countdown to one. By the end of the count, we run to the cars and jump.

We arrived back in Dauntless at 7:15 p.m. We had to jump down the net one by one in order to get our feet into the Pit. I may be afraid of heights but I knew that I've done the jumping a couple of times already. It's only about familiarizing yourself to it – to the thing that scares you.

Once we landed on the net and we've leaped onto to the floor of the Pit, Christina makes a statement.

"Today was fun!" she says. "I'm hoping we could do it again?"

"We could do it again some other time." Marlene approves.

"And next time I'll be the one under that peace serum." Zeke teases while meeting my gaze.

"That'd be better." I say.

Everyone laughs. But the laughter instantly subsided when another voice, acquainted and firm, speaks from behind.

"Where have you been?"

_Eric_.

**A/N:**

**So, hello. : ) I'm sorry for not updating within 4 days and if I may not be able to update for a few days. Exam week is coming and a couple of school works have to be done before school year ends. But then, I'd like all of you to know that I'm not going to leave this story unfinished especially now that it's already coming to an end. :')**

**Anyway, like what I promised, I will tell you the reason why I didn't update for 4 days. **

**Just this recent Saturday…**

**I lost someone **_**really **_**special in my life. She passed away without me having one last glimpse of her gentle face which would always be fresh in my mind. When I found out the loss, I was like "**_**What?!" **_**because I didn't want to believe but then, I suddenly burst into tears like a five-year-old kid. Now, I'm already okay. A bit of me is at least okay. I know that she won't have to suffer any more for she's arrived in Jesus's side. **

**She's a mother, a sister, a friend, a fighter, and a grandmother. Forever I would love her. **

**-Iris Molefoursted **


	54. Chapter Fifty Four

**A/N:**

**Hey guys! I'm baaaaaaaack!**

**First of all, I'd like to thank those who sent their condolences through reviewing. It was very nice of you, I appreciated them. My grandma's funeral was last Saturday. I believe she's in good hands now. : )**

**And second, I'm so, so sorry for not updating in like… **_**a week? **_**It wasn't because I lost interest for the story or I had writer's block or anything. It's just that it was exam week and it's the last quarter of school before junior year so I thought of focusing on it at the first place.**

**But anyway, exam week is over, as well as the school projects! It's our summer vacation! And here's Chapter 54 everyone! : )**

***Gosh. I missed this: sitting back in front of the monitor to begin doing another chapter for the readers.***

**Chapter Fifty Four: Bottled Feelings**

**Tobias's POV**

"Where have you been?"

The question from Eric leaves everyone frozen. He examines each faces beginning with Christina's, to Will's, to Lynn's, and so on, until his gaze stops with Tris and me. But Tris doesn't seem terrified of him. Neither do I. Eric might be a Dauntless leader and he has an authority to almost everything but our freedom is out of the question.

"What?" he mocks when nobody answered him. "You've all gone deaf? Didn't you hear me? I said _where have you been?_"

"We went around the city." Tris says. "Is that too bad?"

"Around the city?" he echoes. "Without _my _permission? Yes, that's too bad."

"Why do we have to ask for your permission?" someone inserts from behind. When I turned around to find the voice, Christina's continuing her statement. "We're Dauntless members now, remember? We have the right to do whatever we want. Your control is invalid."

Christina uttered the last part with a harsh tone but I'm stunned when Eric didn't pay attention with her comment. Instead, he just scowls at Christina and goes back on facing Tris.

"Christina was right, Eric. If we left the compound to go to the city, it was our choice, not yours. And it'll be our choice to make in everything else that we'd do."

"Way to go to have a smart mouth, Stiff." Eric ambles toward. "Way to go."

"Don't call me Stiff."

Then surprisingly, he seizes her arm, pulls her toward and meets her direct glare. Tris attempts to release herself but Eric just held her more firmly. "What do you want me to call you, then?"

I left the spot of where I stood to grasp Eric's arm out of Tris'. Here, I warned her to stay behind me for I would deal with Eric myself. The gap between our heights is evident as I look down to him, telling him through eye contact to keep a distance from Tris.

"Leave her alone. Leave _us _alone."

Primarily, he was dumbfounded when I suddenly entered the scene. Our last encounter must still be fresh in his memory. The encounter wherein I left him bloodstained on the ground for judging my character based on the article that the Erudite has printed. Now he looks up to me confidently and is strange when in the midst of a serious setup, he laughs hysterically.

I heard murmurs from my back. The first one probably came from Marlene.

"He's gone nuts."

Then a male voice, which I think is Uriah's, responses.

"He came here acting like a complete cold leader then ends up laughing like a psycho."

After hearing enough of them hiss, I turn my attention back to Eric whom I released when I figured that Uriah was right. Eric must be a psycho.

"You know what, Four." He says. "I just actually want to tell you that… I need you in the control room. I've been looking for you all day that I even asked a few of the people here if they've seen you and they told me that…"

He smirks on Tris' direction. "That – you were away with your girlfriend and company."

"What is it that you need?" I ask. "You didn't have to act all of these if you're just going to ask for my help. And may I just remind you again, we don't have to ask for your permission every time we want to go to places. We can manage ourselves."

"Well – let's get over with that." He instantly goes back to the business-like state. "Come with me to the control room."

"I'll follow."

"No." he waves a hand. "Now. To the control room _now._"

"Now…" I peek over my shoulder to search for Tris and I find her standing next to Uriah and Marlene. She just gives me a nod, telling me it's alright. But for me it isn't. I don't think I could afford to see her being that near to Uriah. Marlene might also be there yet it's still the fact that she's _with _Uriah and she will be even after I leave with Eric.

"Four," Eric calls out. "What are we waiting for? Come on!"

I was just about to turn away when Tris walks toward me to stand on her tiptoes and crush her lips to mine. It somehow made me forget about the way Uriah looked at her earlier this evening and the way they stood close to each other recently. Why should I consider those anyway? Tris is mine and I am hers. We both know that.

"Enough with the romance!" Eric says.

Tris pulls away, looking up to me with assurance. Her thumb rubs around my cheek as she parts her lips to tell me, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'm going to my apartment now to grab sleep. It's been a long, tiring day."

That statement shapes the obvious that she won't go anywhere else and it relieves me that it also meant to say that she won't be with Uriah. This might be a little crazy but I assure you that I've never thought like this before. It is only when I caught Uriah looking differently at Tris that I felt a hint of alarm. I'm not yet certain if I'm right or wrong but I'm hoping for the latter.

"Alright," I say. "I'll see you."

Finally, I've turned away. I fight the urge of stealing one last glance to see if she leaves the Pit with Uriah because if she does, I'd rather avoid the sight than stare for a longer while. The moment I and Eric reach the hallways, the image of Tris and Uriah has instantly faded from my memory. However, halfway to the left corridor, he blurts out something connected to my recent thought.

"I saw that." He says. "I saw the way you look at her and that – that friend of hers."

With this, I regarded him casually.

"And so? What about that?"

He didn't laugh like he did at the Pit but I saw a small curve of smile on his lips. I could easily define that as a teasing sign.

"You don't think she's cheating on you, don't you?"

And this time, I figured that it's my turn to laugh.

"Why are we having this conversation? Don't tell me you're meddling over my life again."

"Say it, Four." He sighs. "Just say it. You saw them together. And I saw _that _look on your face. Don't you think she's—"

"She's not cheating on me." I firmly say, putting emphasis on the C-word. "And my relationship is out of your business."

We turn to another corridor, a small distance keeping us apart. Eric didn't immediately response but once we're coming nearby the control room, he said one last thing to me.

"I'm looking forward to where this goes." He says. "You, Tris, and your relationship, I mean."

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

Right after Tobias and Eric have left, I dismissed from the Pit as well. Christina, Will and the rest went to their ways while I took the other corridor to reach my apartment – alone. Or maybe that's what I thought since I and Tobias would always walk together, hand in hand. Uriah surprises me when, like a bolt from the blue, he emerges into my side that caused for my heart to skip a beat.

"Uriah!" I protest. "You scared me!"

And considering that it's almost eight in the evening, isn't it a bad idea to show up to somebody who's walking alone on a dark corridor?

Uriah holds me around the shoulders as his laughter subsides. "Sorry, Tris."

I admit. The last time Uriah holds me like this was when we were still pretending that we're a couple. That was so long ago now. The touch somehow sends a chill in me.

"Forget it." I say. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"My apartment is about – a few inches apart from here. I decided to use this pathway and then I saw you walking alone. Are you – are you going to sleep already?"

"Yeah," I turn to him. "Why do you ask?"

"Uh – you know…" he awkwardly slips his arm off of my shoulders. "I just thought maybe we could sneak into the cafeteria and eat some Dauntless cake."

I find myself laughing about his idea although nothing is particularly funny. I just like how he badly wants to eat during this time of the night.

"That sounds like a cool idea Uriah but – but I really am tired now and I just want to sleep. Today's a very long day, don't you think? You must be tired now, too. Just get over it through dragging yourself to bed. We don't run out of cake, anyway."

He sighs. "Well – alright. I forgot. Four said you got hit on the knee. Does it still hurt?"

"Not as bad as this morning. It'll be fine by tomorrow, I suppose."

Uriah nods as he stares down the floor then slowly lifts his head to me – to look at me, to hold my gaze – all as though he doesn't want this to end yet.

"Do you – do you want to say something?"

He blinks a couple of times and tilts his head on the right, moistening his lips, making me wait for whatever it is that he has to say.

Finally, after a while of seconds, he turns back to me.

"Yeah." He forces out a smile. "I want to say – goodnight."

"Well…" I return the expression. "Goodnight. Goodnight, Uriah."

And not like what I was expecting, he ambles closer to lean down my face. I tilt my head back in hesitation of what he's about to do but I haven't slipped away from the kiss that he planted on my cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Tris." He whispers in my ear before leaving.

The moment that he has gone and I'm left at the middle of the corridor, I touch the cheek that he's kissed. As I do that, questions begin to approach.

Why did he do that? Why would _Uriah _do that? I thought he's come to see that Marlene is the one that he really wants? I thought we've talked about this already?

Did he lie?

And –

Is he still in love with me?

**A/N:**

**Hello to **_**Baylee, **_**the guest who reviewed on Chapter 53 last March 6, 2013! You might not believe this but your review literally made me cry. Thank you sooo much! I'm so happy that my story has been your book for a few days. It truly means a lot knowing that there are people like you who spare their time to read my work. : )**

**And of course, it's the same thing with you guys! You're just one of the reasons why I do this. I wouldn't be in Chapter 54 without your support and your encouraging reviews. I've had so many opportunities before to stop writing this story but I didn't think of taking any of those opportunities for I knew that I have readers like all of you! : ) **

**Thank you, very, very much!**

**Now, for the upcoming chapters… I could say that we'd be down to some **_**serious **_**matter….**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	55. Chapter Fifty Five

**A/N:**

**The song "Call Your Name" by Daughtry might suit what this chapter's about…**

**Chapter Fifty Five: This Isn't Right**

**Tris' POV**

The time for lunch break strikes just when I finished branding my last customer with a tattoo. As she exits the parlor, I go to my cubicle to take the tools I used back to their containers. Tori recently asked me if we could eat lunch together. However, earlier this morning, before Tobias went to the control room for work, we've agreed to do it together. He told me that he's going to fetch me here at the parlor once he gets a break then after that we'd grab lunch at the dining hall.

Tori understood. She finds Tyree's company as good anyway so she sees no problem with him being her lunch buddy. Halfway through finishing my business, I hear the door of the parlor opens. The thought that it might be Tobias already causes for me to drop a tattoo needle on the table to look over my shoulder.

It's not that I'm disappointed with what I've seen. The thing is – it's Tobias whom I was expecting and I didn't think of Uriah coming here with a reason I'm not aware about.

Yet, because of that soothing smile that he always has, I find myself smiling too.

"What brought you here Uriah?" I ask.

He stands by my cubicle, wandering his gaze around the room. I don't think he would drop himself here to have a tattoo. And even if that's his purpose, I – or anybody else – can't do it for him at this point. It's lunch break. Nobody wants their tummy roaring for food, right?

Once he's laid his eyes on me finally, he blurts it out straight away.

"Let's go to the training room."

"Training room?" I echo. "What are we going to do there?"

"Flirt with the pistols." He says. "Lynn and Marlene are there, too. And I'm going to shoot a muffin off of Marlene's head. You need to see it."

I laugh. "Are you serious? You're doing that?"

"Actually, it was Marlene's idea. But Lynn insists that my hand shakes a lot whenever I have a gun on hand. It's not true. She only said that to scare Marlene."

"But-"I'm hesitating to take the invitation, mentally. Tobias is fetching me here. We've made an agreement this morning. No – scratch that. We're accustomed to eating lunch together already. Will he know where to find me once he arrives here? And how longer will it take for him to have a break from work?

"So – are you coming?"

I blink a couple of times before directing my gaze to Uriah's. I turned him down last night when he wanted us to sneak into the dining hall for Dauntless cake. Now, here he comes again, asking me to come with him with expectant eyes that I'd say yes. The silly thing is – before I could even think, I hear myself speaking.

"Yes," I say.

"Great!"

He instantly seizes my arm and takes me out of the parlor as though we're flying on air. En route away from the Pit, I still see no sign of Tobias anywhere. If Eric didn't give him a break until his work is accomplished, then perhaps it's still safe for me that I am now with Uriah, ambling at the hallways on our way to the training room where Marlene and Lynn await.

"It seems to me that your knee's back to normal isn't it?"

"Yeah," I gasp for air. "I told you so. It'll be fine by today."

"Are you panting?" he asks.

"Are you kidding?" I snap back. "You dragged me out of the parlor and we ran not until we've left the Pit."

He chuckles. "Well – we could use some running again. I'm sure those two are wondering what takes me so long to get you. Lynn can be surprisingly impatient sometimes."

"What're you saying?" I tilt my head back. "We just ran then now we'd run again?"

"Dauntless, right?"

I roll my eyes. "I prefer to walk."

"But I could see another way for us to get there faster."

"What?"

I hardly pay attention to Uriah's motions since my focus is directly on the pathway before us. Uriah, who's frequently full of surprises, suddenly got me screeching when he bends to catch me on the back of my knees, lifts me in his arms, and carries me in order to reach the training room faster.

"Put me down!" I demand. "Put me down _now!_"

I thought Uriah would be intimidated with the edge on my voice and he would actually bring me back to my feet but instead, he just burst into laughter.

"What's funny?" I throw my feet. "Uriah I'm not kidding!"

"Since you don't want to run, then I'll just carry you."

"I can handle myself!" I punch him playfully on the chest. "Just put me down now!"

But more than that – more than his trick of carrying me – he also had the idea of tickling me on the belly where my ticklish area is. Just when he begins doing that, I hear myself squealing louder.

"Uriah, stop!" I yell. "S – stop!"

He doesn't do so. He tickles me harder on the belly until my feet throws themselves up and down and until I find my stomach aching with laughter. There at the midst of the hallways are me and Uriah, laughing like ten-year-olds who made fools out of themselves. It's a refreshing feeling.

"Stop now," I say. But in my voice, there is still a hint of laughter. "It's time to bring me down."

Finally, Uriah gets me back to my feet again. I held him on the shoulders for support while his hands remain wrapped around my waists. The laughter has embedded within us, yet, for a moment, we're locked into each other's gaze. I've never looked into Uriah this way before. I didn't know that he has vibrant eyes like this not until now. And, funny but true, the sensation is like I don't want to look away yet.

"Tris," he mutters.

"Uriah…"

By this instant, I have no idea what do the mentions of our names have to mean. At the same time, I ask myself why I am _allowing _us to stay this way for a longer while. I should have brought my hands down a second after I got to my feet. Likewise, Uriah's hands shouldn't be around my waists anymore. This is _not _us. We're supposed to be _just _friends and nothing else shall bond us together.

Tobias appears in my mind. If he could see this now, he wouldn't like it. His sudden arrival in my memory brings me to tilt my head over Uriah's shoulder for I _felt _it in my nerves that somebody is watching us.

And I wasn't mistaken. Leaning sideways on the stoned-wall is a tall boy whose face expresses both hurt and anger. It's not as if it's hard to read. It's painted with striking colors, making it seem evident.

"Tobias…"

My hands automatically drop from Uriah's shoulders. Uriah turns around when Tobias's name comes out of my lips. I wish I could run fast after him to explain but in a blink of an eye, he has left.

What have I done?

**A/N:**

**Sorry if this is short. : D**


	56. Chapter Fifty Six

**Chapter Fifty Six: Just Go**

**Tobias's POV**

_Isn't it aggravating to see your girlfriend with somebody else and for a moment, all you could so was to watch them?_

Eric gave me a break ten minutes later than he should. When I left the control room, the first thought I had in mind was to fetch Tris at the tattoo parlor. I've had bad vibes with Eric earlier that time since he was being too bossy around work. However, because I knew that I'm going to see Tris soon, I assumed that she could change my mood.

I was just about to reach the Pit when all of a sudden I heard a series of yells. My stomach began to lurch since then for I have familiarized with that voice. I hid myself behind a few layers of rock and took a peek of what was going on. It was as if a fist got locked in my throat when I witnessed the whole scenario. In less than a minute I thought of just going away for I knew that I couldn't bear to stay for a longer while, watching them being that way.

It's the only small voice in my head which was telling me not to go yet that has prevented me from doing so. I lingered there for a portion of seconds, waiting to what might happen next. Tris and Uriah's laughter has sent a bullet straight into me. How could Tris enjoy herself with Uriah carrying her in his arms? How could she just leave the parlor without waiting for me to come? How could _she_?

After their tickling episode, Uriah finally brought Tris back to her feet. The laughter has subsided within them but the picture that made me sicker was when Tris held onto his shoulders as Uriah gripped his arms around her waists. What was more? They stood there – right there at the mid of the hallways – gazes locked to each other. And during that standstill moment, I knew that I'm done. _I'm done with here._

"Tobias…"

My name was voiced from her lips. Instantly, she released her hold off of Uriah and they both looked at me with surprise. I could have stayed there to wait and see if Tris would have the mind to explain to me what it was all about but I think I knew better than that. _I should go_. What was the point of standing still there anyway? I've seen the whole picture. There was nothing else to do but to just _go_.

And so I left. With pain and anger, yes I left. I made sure I used the other pathway so Tris wouldn't be able to run after me. Or, did she really think of doing that? Until now all I could imagine is that Uriah asked her not to follow me and so she didn't. I've been having this sensation since last night, as a matter of fact. The image of Uriah looking so worried about Tris flashed into my memory again. He _wanted _to carry her. He _wished _he was the one carrying her. It was written all over his face. He still does have feelings for Tris. And maybe, just maybe, Tris somehow figured that she also feels the same way for him.

I think I need somebody whom I could discuss these with.

I know who that could be.

_Brent._

Xxxx

I found Brent with his circle of friends at the dining hall. They're having lunch together, talking, and laughing. I don't want to interrupt whatever they're busy about but I really am feeling the need to grab some few minutes with Brent. I amble toward their table just when this red-dyed boy cracked a joke and everyone laughs. I pause behind Brent, gives him a small tap on the back, then mutters, "Can I have five minutes with you outside?"

He instantly peeks over his shoulder with a beaming face but when he saw how serious I am, he wore a blank expression on.

"Four," he says.

"Five minutes." I reprise. "Outside."

I give him a second to excuse himself to his friends while I dismiss from the hall at the first place. It doesn't take him a minute before he's come after me. Once he stands in front me, the first thing I've noticed about him was the band aid branded on his cheek and the dark bruise near his jaw caused by his encounter with Tris yesterday.

And just when her name echoed in my head again, I wake myself back to reality and to why I and Brent are facing each other.

"Something's wrong?" he asks.

"Tris." I say straightaway. "She's the matter."

He tilts his head back. "And what does it have to do with me?"

I sigh. "Remember when you were telling me that I should just find somebody else aside from her?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when – when you were convincing me that she isn't right for me and you were wondering why I had her as for a girlfriend?"

Brent stares at me as though he doesn't know whom he's talking to. He moistens his lips, doesn't say anything for a while, then suddenly I ask myself if I'm even making sense here.

"So what are you saying?" he says. "Are you telling me that – that my words are haunting you? Do you mean to say that maybe I was right and—"

"_Brent," _I say firmly. "I saw _them_."

He furrows his eyes. "Who?"

"Tris." I shut my eyes then open them. "And her friend – Uriah. I saw them together. If you were the boyfriend, I don't think you'd like the scenario. I had second thoughts of staying for a while to see if she'd like to explain. But then – I figured I'd rather just leave and talk to you about it."

Brent regards me casually. "Well – you know, Four. I thought you don't want me meddling with your relationship with Tris. See these bruises? This is what I've got from trying to keep the two of you apart."

"And _why _exactly are you doing that?"

He shrugs. "Maybe it's because of what you've just seen. I could have this chance to persuade you again for like the fifth time that Tris isn't right for you but you see – I think it now depends on you."

I press my lips and tilt my head on shoulder length. The scenario rewinds in my mind again so I seal my eyes. Part of me says that that could have just been a coincidence but the other part of me says that _Wake up idiot, you saw it all yourself. _ _She was with Uriah and she looked so happy._

And it begins to echo in me. _She looked so happy. Happy with him. Doesn't she feel that way with me? What does Uriah have that I don't? For how long has she been considering any special sentiment for Uriah? _

"Hey Four," Brent waves a hand. "You alright? So – what are your thoughts?"

"I don't know."

"Are you calling this as _over_?"

I and Tris? Over?

"I don't know."

"Uh well – it seems to me that you have to know now." He says. "There – there she is."

Brent peeks over my shoulder with raised brows. I wasn't even having a look for myself yet but I already knew who that was. Of course. It's her.

"So – Four." Brent turns back to me. "I'm coming back to lunch now."

I just stare at Brent for a fraction of seconds for I don't want to face Tris just yet. Her presence behind me prickles at the back of my neck that I'm thinking twice if I should turn around or walk away. When I gave Brent a nod and he walks back inside the dining hall, I knew that the choice lies within me.

"Tobias," the small voice calls out. "Tobias, please look at me."

And finally, after a moment of thinking, I turn to face her and stare. There she is, standing before me with eyes demanding to be heard and understood. As much as I want to avoid remembering what I've seen recently, the image of her and Uriah together won't just go.

"Can we – can we talk?" she asks. "Please?"

But no matter how I thought I could part my lips to speak, there're only three words singing in my mind.

_I don't know. _


	57. Chapter Fifty Seven

**Chapter Fifty Seven: I've Had Enough**

**Tobias's POV**

It was a standstill moment before I find my voice back. Even Tris isn't sure of what to say as she remains standing there, staring at me innocently. In fact, it's my turn to break the ice this time. She was asking me if we _could _talk. I am not stupid to ask her what is there to talk about. We both know what that is. It is just me who's having second thoughts if I even want a conversation to stand a chance.

After a long while of awkward silence, Tris is about to utter something again – probably to take the part of explaining her side – but I've spoken before she could begin.

"Alright," I casually say. "I'm pretty sure you came here to give me a word about what I saw."

She clears her throat. "It wasn't supposed to be that way."

"Then _how _it should have been?"

In my mind, she had the right to keep herself from any mark of affection with another guy – with Uriah. If she was on her senses that somebody might see them – which happened to be me – then I presume she wouldn't let that happen. She could say _no _anytime she wants simply because she could. The thing that has disappointed me is that she didn't.

"I haven't forgotten about what you said." She says. "That – that you're going to fetch me at the parlor so we could eat lunch together. I was actually waiting for you, you know."

"But you weren't at the parlor."

"Because Uriah came by surprise!" she fairly screams. "He asked me to come with him at the training room. He said – he said Lynn and Marlene were there and we're going to shoot some pistols. You know – just for the hell of it. And it wasn't only me and him. We didn't plan anything else such as having time together alone. It's not—"

"Tris," I turn my gaze away from her. "I've seen the whole picture. From the moment he was carrying you, you were laughing, to the time when he's brought you down and the two of you—"

She shakes her head with an open jaw. "I didn't know that he would suddenly carry me. He wanted us to run to get to the training room faster and I was saying no but – but he did it surprisingly. I was even demanding for him to bring me down, Tobias. I was—"

"Enough." I mutter. "Enough."

I look back to front view and finds Tris swallowing hard, fighting the urge of bursting to tears. I hate to see her cry – knowing that I'm the reason. I'd call myself a liar if I say it isn't because I feel guilty. _I do feel guilty. _There have been a couple of times when I was still with Eliza when every time we get to a fight she always had her way of throwing the guilt on me. I didn't know that she does that to have me say sorry at the first place not until we argued more often and I've seen her doing it all over and over again.

But how many times should I remind myself that Tris and Eliza are two different people? I don't want to accuse Tris that she's only showing a hint of tears so I would soften a little and hold her close. She doesn't like throwing up in front of anyone then mumbling for words afterwards. And with what I can see, if we stay this way for a longer while, she really might lose it all. This is when the realization that I was being harsh, strikes me like lightning.

"What you saw…" she continues. "it doesn't – it doesn't mean anything romantic between me and Uriah. It just – it just happened. I didn't also know what was there within the moment that we were still. It meant nothing special for me at all. _Nothing_. Nothing but the friendship we have. That's all what I and Uriah is about. Just – friends."

I hung on every word that Tris has said. I thought I wouldn't recall the image of how happy they were when I saw them but as I wanted to make myself believe that her reasons were all true, it keeps on flashing into my memory. That's the matter. It's my instinct against what I've seen. It was still too fresh that it grabs the opportunity to influence my choice.

When I stare at Tris, however, my instinct says that I love this girl. I love her so much that although I'm still hurting, I'm going to let it all pass and believe her. I know – and I'm certain – that I still _want _her in my life. Maybe I just overreacted. And I have to admit that – at least in myself. If I would only travel back to my past over and over again – the past where my mother abandoned me with Marcus – it could affect my current life and the decisions that I make.

And maybe, just maybe, it might pull me apart from Tris, the one I ever don't want to lose.

Finally, once I've made up my mind, I swallowed my pride so I could verbalize the words that I shall say.

"I'm sorry." I say. "I believe you."

Tears stream down her cheeks when she couldn't hold the emotions anymore. She run up to me and launches herself in my arms for a penetrating embrace. I find myself responding through tightening the hold and kissing her hair just like what I always do. The warmth of her tears has marked my shirt but it doesn't matter to me. The fact that I saw her with Uriah shouldn't matter anymore, too.

I love her. That's all what matters.

Xxxx

"So – you saw her with Uriah?" Lauren echoes. "_Uriah?_"

Tris went back to shift half an hour ago. I and Lauren just had our work in the control room done so now we're walking in the alley of apartments and dormitories, talking about the recent issue that I and Tris had. According to her, she's seen us outside the dining hall earlier this noontime. With what she has observed, we were arguing over something. She asked me what it was about and if I don't mind sharing some details.

When I began telling the story and she's heard Uriah's name was involved, she had to verify if she really was all ears through echoing my statement and emphasizing her former initiate's name.

"Yes," I say. "Uriah. I saw her with Uriah. And I suddenly tensed up. I thought of leaving them alone with this silly concept that she was cheating on me."

"I know Uriah." She answers. "I mean – he was my initiate. I'm not saying that I'm a very good judge of character but based on my experience as his instructor, he isn't the sort of guy who'd go in-between a couple – like you and Tris – when he knows that it could only bring trouble. That isn't just him – for me."

"I'm not going to judge Uriah." I sigh. "I'm not going to judge him based on what I've seen. That's a weak idea. The thing is – I _know _that he has feelings for Tris. And feelings – Lauren – when buried inside for too long will demand to be exposed and felt. They also just don't go away easily. I think that is Uriah's case."

"And has Tris explained to you about it?"

"She said nothing else bonds the two of them together but – friendship. She told me how it really was like. And I believed her."

We turn to another corridor where Lauren's apartment is located. Once we're done with this subject, she's going to bid goodbye and take a rest. There's no way that this talk would last. I just want to set it aside since the issue was over and it shouldn't be revived again.

When Lauren has entered her room after I've closed the subject, I turned around and left. It is during the moment when I take a turn to an alley that I recognize the place. It is the location of Tris' apartment. Since her work doesn't end unless it's four p.m. – and in my watch there still are thirty minutes – I assume that she isn't there.

But the door is slightly open. Tris never leaves it open when she's away. She also has the keys with her all the time. And that simply means to say that – right at this second – she's inside the room.

I amble toward her apartment to have a check if I was correct. However, I wasn't even that near to the door yet when I heard voices talking. In my curiosity of to whom Tris is talking to, I take a peek through the door. Then suddenly, the same lurch that I felt in my stomach earlier today, fires again. There is Tris – wrapped around Uriah's arms for a warm embrace. As much as I thought it's enough to stab me in the heart, she even utters something to Uriah that I don't think I could forget.

"_I love you. _You know that, don't you?"

Uriah nods. "I know, Tris."

I could bypass the fact that I saw them together at the hallways en route to the training room. I could a_t least _handle that. But this? To see with my own eyes that they are clanged to each other and hear Tris – my girlfriend – say I love you to somebody else? I just don't think so.

And I don't think I'd like to hear some more. I've had enough of _this_ today. I and Tris have cleared this out already. Or maybe that's what I thought and I have to wake myself up now that it was all a _damn_ make-believe.

If I'm going to stay, I just might lose it all, burst in of the room and beat the hell out of Uriah. Of course I wouldn't know to which side Tris will go for. And I'm not sure if I even care about that. I am mad, hurt and on fire all at the same time. Staying is not an option.

I only know one thing for now – at least.

_This has to end._

**A/N: **

**Okay guys, I know that's an annoying cliffhanger. *smirks* But calm down. The story behind Tris and Uriah in the room is still unknown. That's why the next chapter will be in her point of view.**

**For the meantime, keep your fingers crossed. x**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	58. Chapter Fifty Eight

**A/N:**

**The song "Invincible" by The Icarus Account would say so much about this chapter…**

**Chapter Fifty Eight: Love – It Makes Us Human**

**Tris' POV**

Like Tori, I dismissed from my shift earlier than I should. That was because for the last few minutes before four o'clock, there were no more customers who entered the parlor. Harris and Sander, two of our co-workers, finally replaced us on shift. Since I was aware that by that time Tobias was still on work, I decided to go to my apartment first. It seemed to me that what has happened wasn't lasting for too long yet. Until then, it was still fresh in my memory and it was what has got me thinking as I ambled through the alley.

When Tobias instantly left right after he's seen me and Uriah, Uriah looked back at me with horror. He mumbled an apology simply because he knew what was going to happen. I wasn't able to verbalize – even just a few appropriate words – before I walked away to search for Tobias. I think I've been a little rude. Uriah might have thought I was pissed and I was blaming him for all of it when as a matter of fact, I can't afford to do that.

There's something I shall blame myself about it, too. I shouldn't have acted as though I didn't have the knowledge that Uriah has an eye for me and at the same time, I have a boyfriend. Maybe I was too assured that Uriah does understand the difference between my love for him and my love for Tobias. Maybe I thought it was safe to response to how he showed me signs of affection for I assumed that it wouldn't bring any trouble.

But it did. And I couldn't consider it as a little one. I've been selfish for Tobias's feelings. It's not right for me to be too confident that every time we get to a fight, he's always going to find it in his heart to forgive me. It's unfair of me to do whatever I put my mind into although I'm not even certain if it could satisfy me in a long term. And I just did it today. I've seen the outcome. It wasn't good. If in every moment I become reckless, who's going to ache? Tobias.

This afternoon, however, I knew that I was on my senses. As I was about to enter my apartment, Uriah showed up to me. Initially, I didn't know what to expect from him. I actually hated that feeling. I hated to think that I don't know Uriah when we've been friends for a time I do consider as long enough. I didn't also like the idea of rejecting him in whatever purpose he had. Hell, what on earth did I know?

"Tris," he said. "I want to talk to you."

The only worst thing that I could do that time was to say no. Am I that selfish to someone who's showed me so much kindness to prohibit my time for a talk? And to talk – to give him the chance – was the best choice I had on mind. It wasn't only him who needed to say something. I also had to have a few words with him – _again._

"Would you mind if we get inside?" I said, gesturing to my apartment. "I just don't think it's a good idea to talk here."

He nodded. "Sure."

Uriah stepped in of the room before I did. I made sure that the door was left open at some extent since we both knew that we have no skeletons in the closet. Once I turned to him, I found it a little hard to break the ice. Let's just say that I'm no expert at initiating conversations most especially when it's this personal. But we couldn't just stand there, waiting for each other to utter a word. Someone had to start it. And it happened that Uriah was more confident that I was.

"Sorry." He mumbled. "I'm really sorry, Tris."

I took a step closer and stood before him, allowing a few distance to part us. At one second he was bowing his head, then by the next one, he was facing me – just like what I wanted him to do.

"You don't have to be sorry, Uriah." I said. "I and Tobias have fixed it."

"So – that meant to say that you fought?" he asked. "I knew it. I saw his face when he's seen us. And when he left, I already had the feeling that you're going to argue over it."

"Uriah,"

His name came out of my lips casually that a second after I said it, I regret. There I was again – being a selfish ass. I should have known that it wasn't that easy for him. Like me, he was also struggling for words.

"Nothing," I muttered. "You can continue."

He sighed. "I'm not just saying sorry for what has happened and for the mess it's formed between you and – Four. I mean – you also owe me an apology for striving _too _hard to show you how I truly feel."

There was a short pause but I didn't take it to consideration that it was my turn to speak. I stared at Uriah and I knew he wasn't done.

"Yes Tris." He continued. "Here we go again, running around the circles of the fact that I do have special feelings for you. I know that we've talked about this already. And I can still remember how I told you that I'm not going to attempt to go in-between you and Four, that I'm going to remain as your friend no matter what, and that I was happy for the two of you. I think - I think I must have lied on some part of it, Tris."

He bit his lower lip. "No – scratch that. I lied on all parts of it. Look. If I was a good friend – Tris – then perhaps I should have thought about my courses of action first. If I was a good friend, I should have stick into my mind that I won't stand a chance on you and there's nothing else left to do but to forget that I – that I love you."

His voice almost cracked on the mention of the three words that for a moment, I thought he might cry. I didn't want to see him cry. I didn't want to hurt him, also. It's never been my intention to do any of it to Uriah. I, however, was frozen when I heard him say it himself. _He loves me. He's loved me ever since. _And I hated to just stand there, dumbfounded. I was like a student who's called in class by her teacher to solve a Math problem on the board but has no idea on what to answer.

"I tried several times, Tris." He pressed his lips. "I tried. I tried to make myself believe that whenever I see you and Four together, I'm just – just okay. I tried to distract myself from feeling this way for you. I tried to keep myself to the word I've vowed to you. The word that – that I won't force myself between the two of you. But Tris. You see – I just did it. I just don't know anymore how to control it. It was demanding too much for you to see. It was insane and it's—"

"No, it's not."

I've closed a few inches between the two of us and I rubbed my fingers on his cheek. I was stunned when I felt a trace of tears against my skin but I didn't show any sign of it.

"Everyone loves, Uriah." I said. "And I don't think that's insane. It makes you – us – human. Please don't put all the blame on you. And please don't allow any of it to change you to someone that you're not. I still want _the _Uriah whom I've come to see and love as both a friend and brother; the Uriah who sees the bright side in everything; the Uriah who is simply who he is. Please don't take that away."

A smile has crossed his face that delighted me. This is one of the best things about him. He can balance his emotions. He would pull out a smile and you'd find yourself joining in.

"Never, Tris." He said. "I _really _just wanted to let all of these out of me. I supposed that if did, I might feel better. And now that I have, I feel like an animal just escaped from me."

I laughed. "Come here."

I pulled him for an embrace which has given me an assuring sensation. I was also glad that it didn't drive him nervous. He gently wrapped his arms around me while I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I love you. You know that, don't you?"

He nodded. "I know, Tris."

And by the way he said it, I was sure that he's completely understood it all. My love for him is different from how much I love Tobias. I couldn't return the same sentiment that he has for me for my heart only beats for one person and Uriah does know who that is.

He pulled away – but not so much – to search for my expression. "Once I leave this room, you _have _to go to Four. It's a command. Go to him and tell him that you love him. You might have said it a lot of times already but you still need to say it more. I also promise you that this is the last time we're going to talk about this."

I furrowed my eyes. "What do you mean?"

He smiled. "I'm alright now, Tris. I'd never turn things around again on how I feel for you. I think that having you know that I'm just here and I'm always going to be here for you is enough. And this time Tris, I _mean _it."

Before Uriah left, he hark me back his command again. It also struck into me as something that I _want _to do for Tobias. I want to remind him every day how special he is to me and how deep my love is. A smile has curved in my lips when I thought of that and of finding him. He does deserve to know about it.

I went to the control room with the expectation that he was there. It was obvious however, that his work was done since even Eric had no sign of his presence. Where else could he be at?

When I found no Tobias at the other areas of the hallways, I decided to go to the Pit. In there, I was surprised to see that there aren't any Dauntless members clattered around when most of the time, it's what I see. However, in my search for Tobias, it wasn't the people who've caught the center of my attention. It was rather the boy whom I saw from a distance – right there at the _chasm. _

I have that figure memorized so well. Even from afar, I could tell if it's him or it's not him. And as I stood there watching the boy, I figured that it is, no doubt, Tobias.

The only thing that made my heart skipped a beat is when he glanced at me and when he tightened his hold on the railings.

_Oh, no._

**A/N:**

**Before beginning to do this chapter, one of my goals is to be able to capture the insights of both Uriah and Tris but most especially – Uriah's. I don't know if I've done it well but what do you guys think? : )**

**And I'm sorry if I left you with another cliffhanger. *smiles innocently* Not being mean but I just thought it's the best way to end the chapter. Hehehe. :D**

**The Cliffhanger Freak,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	59. Chapter Fifty Nine

_It's like you're the swing set, and I'm the kid that falls. _

_It's like the way we fight, the times I've cried, we come to blows._

_-__**I Don't Believe You by Pink**_

**Chapter Fifty Nine: Not Anymore**

**Tobias's POV**

Ever since, I've always considered the chasm as my sounding board. I know that it doesn't have a life and it has ended a lot of lives in the history but the roaring of the water beneath somehow soothes me. This is where I stand by the railings, face the stoned-walls opposed me, and do all of my thinking. Lately I thought I could smack my fist into a wall and scream for everybody to hear. I also thought I might do something else that's more outrageous just to have this anger flowing in me, obeyed. But still, I ended up here in the chasm, rewinding everything I've had today.

_I love you. You know that, don't you? _It keeps on ringing like a bell. _I know, Tris. _The thing about me is that it's not only the words I've heard and the embrace that I've seen that has maddened me like this. It's also how Tris has played it all well without me suspecting not until yesterday. All this time I was this guy who kept on falling for her explanations and apologies which are just tied around lies anyway. All this time I was holding onto the fact that I love her and I don't want to lose her when since then, she doesn't even feel the same way for me.

Maybe for once she loved me. And maybe, it was the kind of love enough for a short term. I hate to think that her feelings for me only lasted for a while then right after that, she figured that Uriah got a bigger picture in her life. Judging by what I've witnessed, however, it seems to me and it's clear to me now that that is what's true. I am not on the wrong mind to even force myself to a place that's only good for two.

And as if Tris could read what I was thinking, when I glanced over my shoulder, I saw her standing from a distance. _There goes the cheater. _The last thing that I wanted was to see her and hear her asking me for a talk when in fact, there's nothing else to discuss. Was I deaf and blind when I caught her and Uriah for the second time? How would she turn that around and make me believe _again _that it's not how it was supposed to be? If she'd dare to say that it was nothing and if she denies what's going on between her and Uriah, watch me walk away.

I tighten my hold on the railings and avoid meeting her gaze. She might be wondering now why I did that and she's going to ask me what's wrong. I've memorized it all. This time I won't fall for any of it anymore.

"Tobias," she calls.

Judging by how near her voice sounded like, she has stepped closer to me. In my mind I have this option of pretending that I didn't hear anything and surprise her by leaving. I thought I could do that as it is – walking away without giving her the chance to speak for herself – but I don't know what has gotten into me and I still remained on my feet.

"Is – is everything okay?" she asks.

"No," I answer straightaway. "Nothing is okay. But it'd be better if you just go, leave me alone, and don't ever come near to me."

I am not surprised with how quickly I response and with the words I choose but Tris is. When I glance at her, she's looking at me with bewilderment and horror. There goes the innocent face again.

"What are you saying?" she mutters. "I didn't do anything. Why are you—"

"Didn't you hear me?"

The edge on my voice has caused for her cheeks to flush.

"Just go, Tris." I casually reprise. "Go back to Uriah."

The mention of Uriah's name somehow gives her a clue. She falls silent for a while and her gaze shifts to the ground. I could tell by the color of her face that she's embarrassed to find out that I _caught _them. She tries to part her lips assuming that words will flow naturally, but in a second or two, I didn't hear anything.

"It's true, isn't it?" I say. "That's why you can't response. It's true that there's something going on between you and Uriah and I wasn't even aware about it. For how long were you hiding this, Tris? Ha? For how—"

"Stop." She murmurs. "You don't know—"

"I don't know what?!"

"You don't know the reason why Uriah came to me!" she yells. "You think we were together because we're keeping some secret romance? Is that what you think, Tobias? Is that how you think little of me?"

"Then why was he there?"

Without me realizing, I'm already raising my voice. Never before that have I raised it this much to Tris. We haven't argued like this, _ever_. As much as I thought I could speak evenly, I can't keep my sound low. Tris cannot, too. But with my recent question, she has managed to have herself unruffled.

"He wanted to talk to me." She says. "He wanted me to understand what his feelings are really about. He doesn't mean to ruin us, Tobias. He just – he just don't know how he would—"

"Here _you _go again." I tilt my head onto the stoned-walls, avoiding her gaze. "For once Tris, can you use another reason that doesn't sound cliché? And would you _please_, just stop attempting to deny it and just tell me straightaway?"

"_What _do you want me to say, ha?"

"Damn it, Tris. You know what it is."

"Well I don't!"

"Yes, you do!" I look back at her. "What's the hard part on saying that you want this – _us _– to just end so you could be with Uriah?"

She shakes her head with tears that gradually stream down her cheeks. The last time she cried in front me, I felt guilty. Now – is it still usual that as she cries before me, I feel _nothing _at all and I just want to leave?

She wipes a tear away with the back of her hand. "Why is it easy for you to call us as over? And how do you know that I want to be with Uriah? How could you be so sure about that, ha? Have you – have you forgotten how much – how much I—"

And now she's struggling to continue her statement between hiccups. Her eyes glimmer with tears that fall every once in a while – tears that would then fall to her chin, then to her shirt.

"How much I love you?" she prolongs. "Have you – have you forgotten that? And – and that tattoo on your forearm. The guns represent us, right? You said it yourself."

I look down to my forearm and find the tattoo I've got from Tori. It's branded with the guns intersecting each other; guns that symbolize me and Tris, protecting each other no matter what happens. A lurch fires in my stomach when I catch the sight of those guns again. It surprisingly brings me back to the day when the Dauntless were shooting me with stares as if they've seen a killer. It was the day when the Erudite has published their paper and my past was exposed. It was when Tris risked her life for me and I was scared to death that she might die. This tattoo holds everything that has happened that day. This tattoo holds _me and Tris_. If I get it removed, Tris, likewise, will be removed along with it.

"Yes," I answer, turning back to her. "You're right. This tattoo represents us."

She bites her lower lip with expectant eyes that I finally believe her.

"But not anymore." I say. "And there's no way we could force it."

She escapes a silent laugh. Not laughs of amusement for the tears unceasingly trace her cheeks and they match with her swollen eyes.

"That's just _it_?" she asks. "We're over just like that?"

I collect my voice and makes sure it's steady. As I look at her directly, something whispers to me that this might not work any longer. It's hard to let go of someone that you've loved and cared so much about but it's harder to keep her close when you know that you don't own her heart anymore.

Eventually, after a while of silence, I give her the answer that she's waiting to hear.

"Yes," I say. "That's just it."

**A/N:**

**Please don't be mad. I just thought it'd be unrealistic if Tobias would believe her straightaway, then he'd say sorry again, and then they would hug and make out. (Geez, I sound creepy. Haha.) You'll see where this break-up will go and well, of course, how the story will progress until it reaches its end. : )**

_**haileybomb: **_**I've been reading your previous reviews and I could tell that you're anxious. Hehe sorry! And don't worry, something good always come out from the terrible things. Thank you for reading and reviewing. :D**

**And to the rest of the guests: **_**JLG, Anomamassboo xxx, Mangere 275, Fourtris, Guest #1, Mist Palemoon, Guest12, 12Guest12, Guest#2, Fourtris17, Guest#3, Guest#4, **_**I'm also grateful for your support! Thanks guys!**

**And to all of you who keep on reading the chapters that I do and sending me your feedbacks through either the reviews/PMs, thank you so much! **

**This story now has 69, 903 views because of you! :D**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	60. Chapter Sixty

**Chapter Sixty: Your Name on my Lips**

**Tobias's POV**

When I and Brent enter the night bar, we're instantly welcomed by the loud music and the Dauntless making noise. It was me who asked for his company to go here, as a matter of fact. Getting tipsy, however, was not the initial reason why. Considering that this place has the distractions that I need, I thought it'd be somehow a good idea to linger with Brent so I could forget the recent fight – or should I say – the recent _break-up _that I had with Tris.

We sat at the stools by the counter where the bartender, who wears an all-black attire and has a red tousled hair, approaches us to ask for our orders. Brent tells him to give us at least four bottles of beer – which isn't very surprising for me – then right after the bartender has left, Brent turns to me with a knowing gaze.

"So – where were we?" he asks. "Ah! You're telling me about how you and Tris fought regarding this guy called – Uriah. And you were saying that you saw them clanged to each other in her apartment. Then – well, when she came to you at the chasm that was when you began arguing over that matter. Have I got it right?"

"She was denying it." I say. "She kept running around the circle that he has an eye for her when she could just simply tell me that she feels the same for him. And in our attempt of proving each other wrong – we ended up raising our voices and I think I kind of lost my senses when I've mentioned a bit about breaking up."

"What are you trying to say, then?" Brent tilts his head back. "That you didn't intend to end it at all? That you were just too angry that you didn't have any second thoughts about it?"

The bartender arrives with our orders just when I'm about to speak. But I'm sort of fortunate that he came right at that moment for I suddenly fell silent with Brent's query. What if he was right? What if – I really was just _too _angry and I've had mixed emotions when I confirmed it over? Tris was crying as she asked me why it seemed so _easy _for me to say it like it is. And it's only when Brent hands me a bottle of beer that I also figured that maybe, just maybe, I've been so harsh with my choice of words.

"Don't tell me that that's what you meant." Brent takes a sip. "_You've_ already ended it."

And with that, Brent is correct. _I _was the one who ended it. I face it. I've hurt Tris and her feelings with how offhand and angry I seemed all through the whole fight. I admit my words might have stabbed her and they were too much for her to take. But then, as I look at it, it isn't even the point of everything. It's as clear as glass. Tris is in love with Uriah and if I didn't end what we had, it'd be harder for the two of us.

In that case, it was still a right choice.

"I know that." I say. "That's why we came here, right?"

Brent wanders his eyes around the crowded room, the Dauntless dancing and singing to the rhythm of the music before him. He then turns back at me with a look I easily recognize.

"C'mon, Four." He snorts. "You don't mean to tell me that you're going to chase?"

The Dauntless girls – that's what he was saying. The last time we went here, he kept on persuading me that there are a couple more girls out there whom I could lay my attention on. He was telling me that they're much better than Tris is and I could approach anyone from them since that time, Tris wasn't around so she wouldn't know.

And as for right now, Tris isn't here. She _wouldn't _be here. She must be currently with Uriah and they're having a good time. It is a fact, likewise, that I'm free to do whatever I want. I could reach for the dance floor and dance with any girl who catches my interest. I could get all drunk, take a girl with me at the end of the night, and then wake up in the morning next to each other.

But for the break-up's sake, I wouldn't do that. Only guys like Brent would think of doing those. Even before I asked him to come here with me, I knew I was just going to drink but I wouldn't flirt.

"Three more," I tell the bartender as soon as I've emptied the two bottles. He nods and leaves to get my order.

Brent stares at me in disbelief. "You just left me with one bottle Four and now you're asking for three more beers?"

"You heard me say three, right?"

"Are you serious?"

In less than a minute, the bartender comes back with bottles purposely opened by him. He settles them down the counter and Brent watches me as I kiss them one by one to my mouth. Sooner or later, when I thought I hadn't much enough, I tried to ask for two more bottles but that time, Brent already stopped me.

"Four – you're drunk."

Brent's face gradually becomes blurred before my eyes that I couldn't quite tell his expression. What I only knew was that he rises from his stool to leap me up from mine and to tuck my arm around his neck along with his arm that he uses to hold me on the shoulder. I could no longer keep my eyes open during that moment and I was totally walking like a creep. I was, likewise, saying random things that my mind couldn't attain to progress.

"You know what Brent?"

"I knew this is coming, Four." He says. "Be careful of what you're about to utter."

A smirk plays across my face. "Eric – Eric is some – some piece of… crap."

Brent chuckles. "Everybody knows that."

Brent just keeps on walking as I just let him take me. The loud music slowly lessens until I can barely hear it and the noise that the Dauntless was making. At the midst of the random things that I say, I hear someone has spoken. It's not Brent. Not me, either. It was a female voice, I suppose, and I think she was talking to Brent.

"What happened to Four?" the voice asks.

"Well – here." Brent answers. "He sure had a couple of bottles. I'm bringing him to his apartment but as you can see – he can hardly walk straight."

"Would you like some help?"

"Do you mind?"

"I don't mind."

"Great." He says with a hint of enthusiasm. "Thanks, Priscilla."

Sheila – or whatever her name was – takes me by the other arm and accompanies Brent on bringing me to my apartment. Since I was walking floppily, it kind of took us a minute or three before I felt somebody's – probably Brent's – hand inside the pocket of my jeans. Before I figured that he's got the key, he has already opened the door to my apartment. There I let go from them and I drag myself down the bed.

"Why did he drink a lot?" the girl was asking Brent.

"Broken hearted, I guess."

"To whom?"

"Tris…" I mumble. "Tris…"

Xxxx

**Tris' POV**

"But he didn't believe me, Chris." I wipe a tear away using the back of my hand. "He really was thinking that I and Uriah are having an affair."

Here I am again, crying like a five-year-old girl before Christina in her apartment. We've been sitting on her bed across from each other for minutes now. I came to her to discuss about this issue since I didn't know anybody else like her who could lend me her ears and give me some understanding. Christina was the best option – _choice _– that I thought of, and I was right. There she is, just allowing me to say everything that's buried in me. She rarely interrupts me as I speak and doesn't brag at all. When it's her turn to talk, however, she's as honest as ever.

"Look, Tris." She lays a hand on mine. "Let's get to the point that Four has seen you and Uriah in your apartment and you were saying that – that there's been a moment when you called Uriah for a hug. And in that part, I think, Four was there, watching the two of you. He might have thought that there's something—"

"There's nothing," I complain. "It was the moment when I and Uriah were near to having things clear. I've told him that I only see him as a friend and I couldn't return the feeling because – because Tobias's the only one that I love and it's just – just—"

"Tris," Christina touches my shoulder. "I know. I know that. For me – I think – Four should have hung on every word you've said to explain it all and he should have _believed _you. He shouldn't have doubted your love for him. You do trust each other, right?"

It's like a needle just pinched my heart when I heard that word. _Trust. _It suddenly brings me back to the day when Tobias was telling me a story about this girl whom he's sure he trusts. He also told me about the two types of trust that he knows and the girl – which happened to be me – has gained those two types of trust. He let me in of his fear landscape because of the same thing. I showed him my fear landscape for the same reason, also. All of it – everything that bounded us together – it was all about _trust_.

But in a blink of an eye, I ask myself, _what happened with that trust?_

"I – I don't know, Chris." I shake my head. "He ended it simply because he doesn't trust me. And you were right. He should – he should have listened to me well. He should have believed me."

"We can't tell." She frowns. "Four's a deep person, you said it yourself. He is, by my evaluation, vulnerable."

"That's true."

"And boys – Tris – when they're hurt, they really _are. _But with Four – I could tell that… that maybe his past has something little to do with this – with the way he thinks sometimes. Deep people like him love _hard_, too. It's only either he was influenced by his anger or by his childhood or both, that's why he got the sudden decision of ending it. But – but you know what?

"What?"

"I don't think that's where the two of you ends. I mean – the time will come when Four would realize that you were saying the truth and you're going to be okay."

"It's not that simple."

"True." She says matter-of-factly. "And let's face it. It might be a little awkward within the two of you for the next following days or for how long you're going to remain on hold, but Tris – _Beatrice _– you still have to keep your perspective on front view and ride along the situation."

After hearing Christina's words of comfort, I wipe away all the tears that have streamed down my cheeks. I've always hated crying in front of anyone but lately I really couldn't help myself anymore. At the very first place, I didn't know why I suddenly lost it all. Perhaps it was because Tobias's words rang back to my memory and I remembered how direct and painful his words were. Until now, in fact, they are still fresh.

"We could do something to ease yourself by some means, you know." Christina suggests. "I do have an idea in mind."

"Are you planning to get all drunk and steal the dance floor from everybody?"

Christina chuckles. "I didn't mean to say we'd get tipsy, Tris!"

"Then what?"

"Look at yourself. You look exhausted. Your eyes are puffy, your cheeks are traced with numerous tears, and your face is red. And well – let me consider your hair also. It's so messy."

"That's very frank of you." I say.

"Candor, right?"

I laugh. "So – what's your idea about?"

Christina looks at me knowingly and it was easy for me to tell what does that look signifies. She has something that's either silly or mischievous in mind.

"Let's get you a haircut."

**A/N:**

**Isn't Christina a genius?! :D**


	61. Chapter Sixty One

**A/N:**

**I got the idea of getting Tris' hair a cut from Insurgent. She cut it when they were in Amity as refugees. (:**

**Songs for this chapter: "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson and "The Scientist" by Coldplay**

**Chapter Sixty One: Beatrice Prior **

**Tris' POV**

Christina seems so convinced with her idea of cutting my hair while I am evidently hesitant. I frown as I rake it through my fingers, figuring that it's on waist length. My hair is _that _long. "I – I don't want it to be short, Chris." I say. "And I see no reason why I need to have it cut." Perhaps it's easy for Christina to have an idea like that and be fond of it but it isn't the same thing to me. She must be only wanting for me to have a new look because she thinks it's just one of the ways to make Tobias see that although we're over, I can still do anything I put my mind into.

And that is exactly the point. It wasn't my intention to change any aspect of my appearance. This is Christina's idea at the first place, not mine. I don't want to be that girl who'd meet her ex-boyfriend coincidentally somewhere in the compound and be like, _"Hey look. I got my hair cut." _as though saying things like that could change anything and could take them back together.

There would be a couple of girls out there who'd claim an attitude like that toward their exes but I won't be one of them. The external looks aren't always capable of getting you what you want. Sometimes they don't just work. And yes, what I mean to say is that touching the blades of the scissors to my hair isn't powerful enough to make things alright between me and Tobias – if that is the purpose of Christina's idea.

"You know what Tris," Christina lays her palms open. "Occasionally, we don't do things just because we _need _to. We do them simply because we _want _to. And this – cutting your—"

"I don't want to cut it." I complain. "I don't like it short."

"Of course you do, Tris." She begins to leave me on the bed to amble toward her drawer. "I know you do. And I also know why you're attempting to convince yourself that you don't."

"Fine. Why?"

"Because…" she browses the utmost section of her four-paneled drawer. "you don't want Four to see you as someone... someone…"

"Someone what?"

"As someone pathetic."

The word 'pathetic' surprisingly comes off as a whisper from Christina. I was expecting for her to glance at me to utter an apology but she just keeps on browsing her drawer and I don't blame her for any of it. She was right with what she's said anyway. I don't want Tobias to see me the next day – if ever I get this hair cut tonight – and mumble to himself how pathetic his ex-girlfriend is.

"I found it!" Christina waves the pair of scissors on air. "Let's get down to business."

The excitement is written all over Christina's face as she cuts a few ends of her own hair although I don't understand what is exciting about this. I remain seated on the bed, staring dumbfounded at her. "What?" she asks. "I – I didn't mean to offend you or—"

"You didn't offend me, Chris." I say. "You were actually right."

She settles the scissors down the dresser and sighs. "I'll tell you what, Tris. You're not going to do this for Four. This is for you – for _yourself_. And you have to remind the Tris in you that not everything is going to be about him. For once Tris – _for once – _think about yourself and what's good for you."

"And you're saying that _this _is good for me?"

"At some extent, yes it is." She picks up the scissors again. "You need to get fresh. You cried a lot today. If you don't believe me, then come over here and face the mirror. You'd figure that I'm not kidding at all."

Still, I remain in where I am. I'm not even seeing my reflection yet but I can sense the traces of tears against my cheeks that Christina was referring to, the swollen eyes, and the messy hairdo. It all feels heavy and aggravating to me that I almost jump off the bed and drag myself toward the dresser to do just what Christina wants me to do.

"C'mon," she says lazily. "Let's do it."

"No," I leave the wrinkled sheets of bed. "_I _will do it."

Her face suddenly lightens up. "Really? Did you just say that—"

"Yes, give me those scissors."

Christina hands me the scissors with the question, "What changed your mind?"

I take a short while to stand before the mirror of the dresser to examine myself. Hell, Christina wasn't kidding. I look like a dog abused by its owner. Or maybe I'm exaggerating. But it's the best way to describe this girl who wept for this boy who could replace her anytime he wants to with no pressure. He's a Dauntless prodigy who's admired by a lot of girls. It's not that hard for him to find a replacement.

I ignored Christina's question and sits on the stool along with the scissors on my hand. On the table are her beauty equipment arranged by label. The make-up, lipstick, mascara, perfume and powder are on diagonal while the brush, a small container of hairclips, and a duo of headbands are aligned randomly on the other corner. I put down the scissors first before reaching for the brush that I would use to divide my hair into two equal sections.

Christina grabs another stool across the room and sits nearby me. She's so focused with how I remove the tangles of my hair that when I tilt my head on her direction, her eyes are on the fingers raked through the ends of my hair. "Dang Tris, I bet you didn't comb all day." I wrinkle my nose in amusement. "The last time I combed this was still this morning." Back in Abnegation, I got used with the habit of combing my hair only twice a day. The fact that we rarely face the mirror is just one of the reasons why. My mom used to tell me that we don't have to look good all the time. She was the one who taught me that appearances won't bury with us once we're dead. Beauty, according to her words, is just temporary. What's inside the heart is what does last for a long span of time – even when we die, even when our existence reaches its end.

Once the tangles are clear, I switch the brush to the pair of scissors. I did say that I don't want it short but after seeing myself recently, I thought maybe, just maybe, a short hair might look good on me. I angle the scissors near my jawline. Does a hair _that _short will be fine? No – I don't think so. That'd be too short. I position the scissors a little lower, at the blade of my shoulder. I let it linger there for a moment to see if it's better than the previous option.

"I prefer that." Christina remarks. "You look good on it."

I smile. "This short, then."

Gradually, I begin cutting my hair via how short I and Christina have decided. The strands fall on the floor as if they're falling from a cliff. They've almost formed the configuration of a speech bubble. _Plenty, _I thought, _plenty of blonde hair. _But they aren't plenty enough yet. I position the scissors on the other blade of my shoulder. One last cut and I'd finally meet the short-haired version of Tris.

_Goodbye. _And then the strands fall again – this time, as though they're falling into place. The shape of the speech bubble is jumbled just when the next set of strands landed beyond it. _Hello. _My eyes don't leave the mirror even as I settle the scissors back to the table. I stare at myself – at my reflection. I spot Christina smiling through the corner of my eye but still, my focus remains on front view.

"Now," Christina says. "That _is _Beatrice."

"Beatrice." I echo. "Beatrice Prior."

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

My head twinges the instant I wake up the next morning. _A hang-over, _I thought, _Damn. _I roll to the other side of the bed and found my alarm clock on the bedside table. _8:05 a.m., _I thought it says. I blink a couple of times before checking if I was right. No – it's _8:15 a.m. _If I was drunk last night, who brought me here in the apartment and put me in the cozy, sleeping position? And – who was with me at the night bar again? Was it Brent?

I was sloppy when I drag myself out of bed to prepare the clothes I'd be wearing today. I also seize a towel and reach for the bathroom for a quick shower. And by quick – I mean – _five minutes. _I look like a creep when I saw my reflection on the mirror so I open the faucet beneath it to have my face washed. Then, right after that, I went behind the curtain to begin showering myself.

I put on the black shirt and pants matched with the usual shoes that I wear. Since I forgot to gargle at the sink of the bathroom, I did it at the kitchen. It is only when I'm all settled and I'm about to leave when I realize that I don't even know where my key is. The five-minute shower made me recall that I was with Brent last night and he was the one who took me here but he didn't leave a note about where he left my key.

Fortunately, I had the idea that Brent wouldn't leave it to somewhere it'd be hard for me to find. I turned to the bedside table and there I found the key settled nearby the alarm clock.

I leave the apartment just then and clicked the door on lock. On my way to the Pit, I catch sight of a girl going to an opposite direction from mine. Her face suddenly lightens when she sees me and she surprisingly walks toward _me, _making me wonder if we have met before and what does she need. I had a better judgment of her face when she comes closer. She is familiar, yes – sort of, but I don't think we've said a word to each other ahead of time.

"So – how are you feeling now?" she asks, positioning herself beside me as she walks along. "I bet you had a headache when you woke up."

"How did you know?" I wrinkle my forehead. "Were you at the bar last night?"

She smirks. "Nope. I was just about to go there when I saw you and Brent. Priscilla, remember? Priscilla Campbell."

She turns to me once again and I had a _much _better image of hers. _Right, _I thought. _Priscilla Campbell, the redhead Dauntless-born along with Brent. _

"Yeah," I switch my gaze onto the alley before us. "That's familiar. But you haven't given me enough details yet. Were you with Brent when he brought me to my apartment?"

"Duh yes, I was."

_Sassy. This girl is sassy._

"I asked Brent if he wanted some help and he said yes, he did. So I was there when you dragged yourself down the bed and began mumbling a name… a name of a girl."

The thought that I might have spilled something else that's random like I did when I was under the peace serum makes me a little anxious.

"Whose name is that?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I can't remember so well. But – let me try. Her name was the only thing that you're saying last night. You were saying it as though you're calling the girl herself which made me ask Brent who she is and if she's the reason why you drunk a lot."

Priscilla isn't mentioning any names yet but I already knew whose name is that. "Tris." I say. "Her name is Tris."

"Ah!" she snaps a finger. "Right. Tris. That was the name. Brent told me – and I hope you won't kill him because he did – that she's your… your girlfriend and – and you just broke up. I could recall that she was the first jumper and she ranked first on the third stage of initiation. But that's all what I know about her. Haven't talked to her even once, too."

Finally, we have reached the Pit. The Dauntless are everywhere again – just what I've been accustomed to.

"That's true." I response, "We just broke up."

"But you were saying her name last night over and over again." She intrudes. "I suppose that has to mean something."

This girl isn't just sassy. She's a little nosy, too. Not in an annoying way but rather in a disturbing way. Not to mention that she kinds of remind me of Lauren.

"You know what, Priscilla. This is not a good choice as for a subject. What happened last night was just—"

At the midst of switching the subject into something else that isn't about Tris, I saw a blonde short-haired girl staring at me from not so afar. She's carrying a tray of a few bottles of syrup along with medicines and tablets and she's about to enter the clinic when she stopped by the door to gaze at me.

The weird thing is – I also stopped moving and I lost all the attention that I had for Priscilla. The short-haired girl continues to stare at me and I stand there frozen, staring back at her. Even from a distance, I could sense that I _know _her. And then, like a bolt from a blue, it hits me.

When I lock my eyes on her for a longer while, I figured that _yes, _I _do _know her. I do know that short-haired girl.

_Tris._

**A/N: **

**Oh my gosh guys, I was listening to the song "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson as I wrote this chapter and I had so many feels! I. can't. even. I think that's just one of the reasons why I enjoyed writing this – especially the scene wherein Tobias was with Priscilla and he saw Tris as the "short-haired girl staring at him". :'DD**

**And by the way, I just want to say hello to my recent guest reviewers, **_**Guest#1 (the one who reviewed on Chapter 60, March 26, 2013.) **_**and **_**TTavaresX (the one who reviewed on Chapter 60, March 27, 2013.) **_**I'm so pleased to know that you're tuning in to my work! :D Thank you so much for reading & reviewing! Appreciating it a lot! 3**

**I hope you all liked this chapter! (:**

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	62. Chapter Sixty Two

**Chapter Sixty Two: That's a Lie**

**Tris' POV**

As promised, I'm helping Christina in the clinic today. There were medicines and tablets that ran out of stock recently so I had to go to infirmary as an errand to get a few substitutes. The doctor, Vita, the same person who took charge of me when I was confined, arranged the medicines on a tray for me. She also noticed that I got a new haircut and complimented me about it. "When did you cut your hair?" she asked. "It looks better on you, in my opinion." I pick up the tray from her table onto my arms, manages a smile and say, "Thanks. I just cut it last night."

She returns the smile and doesn't inquire me anymore why did I cut it. Instead, she assures me that I could come back in here anytime a problem occurs and asks me to tell Christina that she could also advise a patient to visit the infirmary once a case gets more serious. After uttering another thank you, I finally left the infirmary. On my way to the clinic, I saw Christina talking to a guy through the transparent glass of the door and it seems to me that their issue regards his face since Christina is gesturing on a few injuries.

I'm just about to help myself on opening the door when by some coincidence I turn to my left and find two people walking side by side. This prevents me from moving for a moment and I standstill outside the clinic, staring at them – at _him_. I didn't even know that he also caught sight of me and so, he paused from what he is saying and returns the gaze on me. This is non-sense. He's looking at me as though I'm some piece of a stranger. I've been walking around the compound as the short, short-haired girl since earlier this morning and nobody _yet _has stopped to study my new appearance and told me, "Is that you Tris?" They just simply watch me for a second or two; some says it looks good on me, while others don't even care.

So if anyone could recognize me by my hair, there could be one reason why Tobias shot me that kind of look. He didn't recognize me by my _face_. Last night, before leaving Christina's apartment, she lent me one of her mascaras and asked me to try it on the next day. And so I did. But then again, I didn't do any of these for Tobias's benefit. It seems to me that I don't even need to do _anything _to please him for he has found a new girl to take my place. There – the redhead girl with him. Tall. Pretty. Kick-ass-looking.

Just then, as the episode of staring-at-each-other goes for a longer while, somebody surprisingly comes out of the clinic that I thought I could almost throw the tray of medicines on him – on…

"Brent?" I ask dumbfounded. "What are you doing here?"

He laughs in amusement when he saw my reaction and closes the door behind him. "I asked your friend, Christina, if there's anything that I could do so these scars—"he gestures to his face, "won't hurt on sudden moments."

I stare innocently on his face as if forgetting that I was the one who gave him those scars. "I smacked you hard, didn't I?"

"Yes you did," he says matter-of-factly. "But I'm not blaming you for these injuries nor—"

"And I'm not sorry for doing that to you."

He chuckles. "I know you're not."

"So what did she say?"

He shrugs. "Well – she told me to just let it hurt instead of doing anything else that has no guarantee of security. This shall heal soon, according to her."

After giving him a nod as for a response, I cautiously turn my look back at Tobias and the girl he is with to see if they have already gone. To my surprise, the two of them were watching me and Brent as we talked. There is a while of awkwardness during that moment but I'm pretty sure that the tension only lies within me and Tobias. As much as I want to be the first one to look away, he has done it before I could. He turns to the redhead girl, mutters something to her, she gives him a nod, and they begin to take the other direction. It was just like that. It was that sort of minute when I met his eyes and it felt as though he's longing to send me a message like he usually does before. But that's it, right? _Before. _Everything just seems like they're all buried from before.

"Her name's Priscilla." I hear Brent says. "Dauntless-born. We were in the same initiation two years ago."

I don't want to ask Brent this particular question that I have in me but I knew that I'm dying to know about it.

"Are they friends two years ago?"

"Nope," he crosses his arms. "Four just hang-out with the guys either Dauntless-born or a transfer, back then. I'll tell you why. The girls – some of them – during our initiation were too apparent that they have a crush on him. Four didn't like that. That's why he was seldom friends with the girls because he didn't want them to think that he has an eye for anyone from them."

"Is – is Priscilla one of those girls who have a crush on him?"

A smile crosses his face. "Priscilla isn't the kind who gets crazy over a guy. She was the most different among those girls during our initiation. She knew she isn't here in Dauntless to search for any cute transfers and when she finds one, she's going to date him. She isn't like that. Her focus was to pass the initiation and remain as a Dauntless. That is her."

"So in short," he continues. "She is nothing like Eliza."

This strikes me like a butter knife. Tobias and Priscilla could use some time to spend with each other now that I'm out of the picture. They could have a chance to get to know each other better and sooner or later, Tobias will come to see that Priscilla isn't the type of girl who'd ever think of fooling him. He'd figure that she wouldn't do anything to hurt him just like what Eliza and _I _did so. He'd realize that he's already falling for her and he has forgotten about me – about what we had – so easily. He's experienced so much grief since he was kid. He's had his heart broken twice. Isn't it time for him to find a girl who could show him a different yet better perspective toward life and love? And maybe, just maybe, that girl is finally Priscilla.

When I've been quiet for a fraction of seconds, Brent surprises me by nudging my arm. I turn to look up to him and his face has turned somber.

"What?" I ask thoughtfully.

He sighs. "I'm kind of thinking that I'm part of the reason why you and Four broke up."

"You didn't even want me for him at the first place, right? Why would you say that?"

He bows his head. "I was a jerk for persuading Four to find another girl to replace you. I was also wrong for judging you the wrong way. I shouldn't have based my judgment on the article written by the Erudite about your father as the Dauntless shouldn't have judged Four based on the same newspaper where his past was printed. I want to say sorry for that."

I could use a hundred ways to throw all the blame to Brent and to have my payback for what he did such as hitting him on the face again, messing his reputation to Dauntless, and embarrassing him on public. I could call him a liar, a meddler, an asshole, or a bastard. But none of those options demand to be done. As I stare at him while he bows his head, I figured that I've also judged him the wrong way. He was just being a friend to Tobias. He does understand the misery that he's been through that's why he doesn't want him to hurt nor commit a mistake on giving away his trust to people. I paid heed to the Brent who's trying to keep me and Tobias apart rather than to the Brent who only wants what's good for his friend. For like the hundredth time, I've been a selfish ass.

"I'm not blaming you for any of these, Brent." I mutter. "We both know that he makes choices on his own and he doesn't get influenced by anybody. His choice was to end it. You're out of that."

Finally, he turns to look back at me. "You'll have him back. I know it."

I sigh. "How do you know?"

"Because Four needs love." He says. "He needs someone who could give him the kind of love that nobody else can give. Someone who could remind him that he's _more_ than the boy whom his father used to beat – that he's more than _the _Four he is today. And Tris – I've realized that you're the one who could do that."

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

It is only when Priscilla joined me for breakfast when I realized that she's not bad to be with after all. I used to think that she's one of those girls two years back who bother me through watching every motion I do – those girls whom Brent was referring to as for having a crush on me. But then, after having a worthwhile of conversation and laughter with her, I thought I was wrong with my first impression. She both has humor and sense. She has the ability to switch from subject to subject which won't make you go brain-dead. As a matter of fact, as we talked, I've forgotten about the moment of seeing Tris earlier this morning. If there was a reason why I suddenly turned frozen when I saw her, it was because I didn't recognize her with the new haircut and with how different her face seemed.

It was actually funny how we stood there, staring at each other as though we're complete strangers, and then after a while, I decided to leave with Priscilla. There was no any gesture given. It was just a standstill moment of two people who used to be together, two people who both have questions in mind. Mine was why she changed the way she looks and hers was who the girl I was with is. She thought I've found somebody to replace her part, didn't she? She might have thought of Priscilla as the current girl that I'm dating. She might have asked herself again why things seem so easy for me.

Well it's not. If that's what she thinks, she got it wrong. Sometimes during the moment when I was talking to Priscilla, I couldn't help but to glance at their table. I saw Tris and Uriah sitting next to each other and it made me more convinced that there's really something going on within the two of them. Uriah was still showing her motions of affection and Tris was allowing him. They were exchanging smiles and laughter that clearly states the obvious that there's nothing to hide. There's nothing left to explain, either.

Not until Uriah asked me if we could talk after breakfast, outside the dining hall. I was about to leave with Priscilla when he called me by name and I had to know who that is.

"Can I have a few minutes with you?"

Knowing that he's just going to repeat Tris' explanation through his own version, I thought of saying no. Priscilla, however, nudged my arm and murmured, "Go on. I'd leave the two of you so you could talk." And even before I could response, she's already took the turn to leave. I and Uriah were left standing before each other, then.

"Look, Four." He began. "If you're thinking that I'm going to bore you with the same details about what really happened… no – I won't. I just came to you for one purpose and that purpose is to tell you that – that I can't stand seeing Tris hurt. Don't get me wrong. I care about her. And I'm certain that you do, too. She was sort of withdrawing since earlier this morning. She was trying to smile, trying to laugh even for a while, but the next second after that, she'd suddenly go quiet. She wasn't like that before. And you know that."

"What do you mean to tell me, then?"

"I'm telling you to take her back." He said. "You couldn't just end it there, Four."

"I couldn't give you what you're asking for."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to be with her anymore."

He shakes his head with a small laugh. "That's a lie."

"It's true."

"No," he intrudes. "That's a lie."

"I _meant _it."

**A/N:**

**I'd like to send my gratitude to these following people for leaving a review to the recent chapters:**

**(Not in particular order)**

_**haileybomb, heroherondaletotheresuce, dauntlessgang666, nialldosforever, TTavaresX, 4rgeMonger, book weirdo, Zariha321, ButterBlume97, kassoug4, zxskelobrine, Popprincess247, TobiasLover4Ever, dollyluvsya101, dominiqueee, DauntlessProdigy04, Dauntless4736, Jnikz, Emily (Guest), guest22, Mangere 275, Uriah-Tris, Tris Prior Tobias Eaton, JLG, TheLoneWaffle, FrostRose, , peaches74, lola. , Cameron. **_

**Thanks guys! **

**Hey **_**Cameron**_**, by the way, I KNOW who you are! Hahaha! You're the one with the brown, curly hair who has a big crush on **_**ADAM Howell. **_**:P :D**

**** I was supposed to say this through the author's note on the previous chapter but I forgot so I'm going to say it now. **

**There are only three chapters left for this story. I'm not saying goodbye yet but I hope you'd stick with me until the very last chapter. (:**

**As always, thank you so much for reading! **

**-Iris Molefoursted**


	63. Chapter Sixty Three

**Chapter Sixty Three: Until It's Too Late**

**Tobias's POV**

I count the days mentally as I position myself a few inches before the bullet target. I load the chamber into the pistol that I hold through pulling back the slide and releasing it. Priscilla watches me then as I finally stand in the proper firing posture with my feet shoulder-width apart – one foot opposite my dominant hand which is about a step past the other foot. Amar, my instructor two years back, was the one who accustomed me into aiming by looking through my dominant eye and closing the other one. So to speak, every time I stand before the bullet target, I use the strategy that he has taught me.

Bringing the pistol to bear on the target, I maintain my focus on the front sight. My vision is engaged on which circle I want the bullet to hit onto but my mind is on the process of counting the days. _Seventeen days, _I insert the trigger finger into the trigger guard. _Two weeks, _I take a breath, exhale half of it, then I gradually squeeze the trigger. _It's been two weeks now since I and Tris broke up, _I set the thought aside and finally pulls the trigger. Back when I was still a youngster, I was a little hesitant of having a weapon – like a gun – on my hand. The idea of standing before the target with metal against my palm made me anxious that I thought I might pass out.

Amar, however, had his way of putting me on ease so I didn't. He was the first person who's defined the true meaning of Dauntless to me. He was one of those people who have helped me see the first step onto being a man. His words, likewise, are always fresh in my memory. _Here's the bottom line, boy, _he used to tell me. _One reason why you're doubtful in holding that gun is because it gives you the delusion of being aggressive. I don't have to ask you anymore if I'm right or I'm wrong. Most of the kids who passed by this stage had the same thought as you. But I'll tell you what. The only thing that would make you aggressive as you have a gun on hand is when you use it on __**people**__. _

_I thought it's used for shooting people? _I said in disbelief. _I don't understand you. _An amused smile crossed his face. _No, kid. Many do believe that way. But I'll be the one to tell you that guns are created for a good objective. People just abused it. They were bounded with so much crave for power and with the make-believe that guns shoot to __**kill **__under the sake of __**wanting **__to kill. Guns aren't supposed to be considered as killers. They're supposed to be called as __**heroes**__. You know why? _I shook my head. _Because the truth is, guns are used – should be used – to give __**justice**__, not to give death nor sorrow. They should be used through the perspective of doing what is __**right**__, not of what is __**wrong**__. That – kid – is what guns are made for. People need to realize it before a hundred more lives go wasted. _

I didn't fully understand what Amar meant not until I went into my fear landscape for the very first time and I had to face my fear of killing a woman that I don't know. That was when his words echoed in my mind and I figured that everything he's said is accurate. Guns aren't made to kill for the sake of anyone's desire to kill. Every bullet that they fire is destined to shoot toward the thing called _change_.

"You hit the ninth circle." Priscilla remarked after the piercing sound of the pistol. "Not bad for a Dauntless prodigy."

A small smile jerks on the corner of my lips as I bring my arms down. "I'm challenging you to hit the center target, then. How's that sound?"

She picks up a _Sig Sauer_ pistol from the table of weapons. _Sig Sauer_ is easy to conceal and to carry and it fires up to five bullets a second at velocity of 1,200 feet per second.

"Sounds like a piece of cake." She ambles toward the midst of the arena to take my place. "Watch and learn, Four."

I located myself to where she was standing recently. I press my arms against my chest as I lay my eyes on her sober face. I have to thank Priscilla for joining me here in the training room so I didn't have to flirt with the pistols alone. I just thought I really need to do something to distract myself somehow. I needed to irritate the layers of guilt and plea that have been haunting me since these previous nights. These were the nights when I'd lay down my bed, stare up the ceiling and cage myself behind the bars of memories with Tris. Sometimes I thought I could tolerate the idea of not being with her, of not holding her in my arms, of not doing things together like we used to. But then, the more I think about those, the more I realize that… that I want _her _back.

Priscilla aligns the barrel of the pistol as she blades her body and stands with a slight lean onward. She straightens the elbow of her dominant arm along with her knees that she gave a slight bent.

"Center target," I remind her.

"I know," she mutters back.

Like me, she takes a breath first before inserting her trigger finger into the trigger guard and squeezing it afterwards. She presses her lips and throws a smirk on me that I take as her sign of saying, _you'll see. I'm going to shoot this straight and you'd be in awe. _And just when she finally presses the trigger, I make sure that my focus was on the bullet target so I'd be the first one to witness if she has hit the tenth circle. The sudden grin that she flashes as she takes her arms down indicates that she did.

She then turns to me with arms wide open and says, "See? I hit the center."

"Yes you did… _once_."

"Shut up, Four." She says with a small laugh. "I always hit the center target since the first stage of initiation. No wonder why my instructor was so impressed when I ranked second."

She ambles toward the table of weapons behind me to settle her pistol down and to have a look of the other models of weapons.

"Who was first, then?" I ask as I stand next to her. I seize myself a _Ruger SR9 _handgun and motion my fingers on its skin made of rough metallic.

"Brent." she says. "I've always wanted to rank first, you know. I wanted to snatch the title of being a first ranker under the stage of shooting pistols. But well, it happened that Brent has hit the center target more often than I did."

"Second is not bad." I remark. "Besides, you didn't have to get the first rank if you just wanted to impress the boy you like."

Priscilla goes frozen for a moment but right after that, she turns to me and says, "I beg your _pardon_?"

I put the _Ruger SR9 _handgunback to its containerthen replace it with the _Beretta M9. _"You like Brent, don't you? You always have."

"W – _what_?" she tilts her head back. "What made you say that and sound so _sure_?"

"I saw the expression on your face when you saw him and – and Tris." The sudden mention of the name causes for me to stammer a little. "The reason why you aren't one of those girls who had a crush on me is because you have a crush on _him_."

She chuckles. "When was that?"

"Two weeks ago." I say. "Remember? When they're outside the clinic?"

"Oh." She mumbles. "_Oh." _

"That's all what you can say?" I glance at her. "Won't you even like to share some details about that little thing called 'crush' that you have for Brent?"

She punches me playfully on the arm. "Fine, you got me."

"See?" I tease. "I hit the center of your femaleness."

She wrinkles her nose to cover the blush on her cheeks as she scoops herself up the table. During the first time you meet Priscilla, you'd probably think that she's the sort of girl who has the ability to do the things that men do and has the face of someone who could kick some ass – _which is true_. However, it's also impossible that people like her don't know how to feel something special toward somebody and that somebody happened to be Brent.

"You were right, Four." She says as she sways her legs on air, bit by bit. "I always have liked him. Ever since we were twelve, I think I've already liked him. But well – you know, as a twelve-year-old, I wasn't into organizing myself into how a girl does look like. I mean – I wasn't like those other girls on my age who put ribbons on their hair or wear pink all the time or whatever color suitable for girls. I was boyish. I was always into black and red since then. I also don't act as though I'm a girl which, I think, is the reason why Brent couldn't see me."

"When we turned sixteen," she continues. "I thought of changing a little. Just a little. If before my hair was always on a ponytail, I tried to let it fall down when I found out that Brent has chosen to remain here in Dauntless. I didn't expect that he would finally see me through after I did that but – but somehow, I hoped, he did. I also didn't want to wear my heart on the sleeve, you know. I didn't want to be so obvious that I admire him. Hell, I didn't even know what on earth I saw on him that every time he passed by, my heart would skip a beat."

"Sometimes we don't like people for what they look like or for what they do or say." I answer. "We just like them simply for who they are."

Priscilla watches me with regard. "Have you – have you felt the same way with Tris? When you first saw her, what did you think?"

My memory travels back to the day when I was looking up the sky, waiting to find out who's going to be the first jumper. I wasn't expecting a Stiff to fall her ass on the net. I had this notion that it was going to be a know-it-all from Erudite or a smart-mouthed from Candor. It was, however, a short, skinny girl from Abnegation who instantly sent me a different force of energy when I helped her out from the net.

"Even from the beginning, I already knew that I have a thing for her." I take the _Beretta M9 _handgun to its container then reach for the _Glock 17. _"But during that time, I was with Eliza. I had to convince myself that Tris was just an initiate and that I shouldn't feel anything special for her. Then again—"

"You did." Priscilla finishes for me. "Because the way she made you feel was different from Eliza's."

"Right." I mumble.

"Don't you miss her?"

_Right, Priscilla really does have the ability to hop from subject to another subject. _

"Sometimes." I casually say. "She was actually whom I'm thinking about these previous days, I'll give you that."

Recently, admitting that fact to myself was sort of difficult. It pushes me to feel the urge of having her back, the urge of saying sorry and telling her that it wasn't truly my intent to tear us apart. I just love her _so _much and until now I still do. Feelings like this don't just fade so easily. Sometimes it takes a long span of time, depending on how deep that person has given meaning in your being.

"I'll tell you what, Four." Priscilla says after a while of silence. "Don't let time pass the two of you by. As long as you _know _that she's still the one who owns your heart, then take her back. You never know where this is going… until it's too late."

The moment she's finished her statement, I thought I'd be surprising myself by telling her that she was right and I've make up my mind. But then, it seems to me that there's something else that could be _more _surprising. Lauren bursts into the training room with an exhausted expression, causing for Priscilla to hop down from the table.

"_God, _Four." She flies a hand over her head. "I didn't know that this is where I'm going to find you."

I and Priscilla exchange looks of wonder before I turn to Lauren to ask, "Why? Is something wrong?"

"_Yes_, there is." She says firmly. "_Tris._"

The way Lauren mentions her name suddenly makes me shudder and I felt my palms beginning to sweat as though I can already sense what she's about to announce.

"What about her?" the tense in my voice almost make me croak. Lauren swallows hard and she escapes a big sigh before breaking the ice to say,

"She jumped off the chasm."


	64. Chapter Sixty Four

**Chapter Sixty Four: Burning Twinge**

**Song for this chapter: **_**"Everlong" **_**by **_**Foo Fighters**_

**Tobias's POV**

The gun breaks the silence when it drops from my hand to the floor. _Tris, _Lauren said. _She jumped off the chasm. _It no longer took me a moment to remain on my feet to verify what Lauren has just said. With burning horror, I begin to run out of the room, bypassing Lauren who tries to call out for me but it happened that I've gone deaf. _She jumped off the chasm. Tris. She jumped off the chasm, _is all what's ringing in my mind as I make attempts of catching my breath. I turn to an alley, then to another, then another one. The world before me suddenly seems as though it's on fire and I couldn't see clear, couldn't think straight. Beads of sweat gradually begin to stream down from my temple but I knew there's no way for me to slow down. I _couldn't _slow down, damn it. It's Tris – right there at the bottom of the chasm – dead and—

_No_, she isn't dead. I watch the unmoving pathway before my vision. This could only be a simulation testing how I would react when I found out that that person I don't want to lose… is _gone_. Maybe I'm being tested either if I still care about her or if I'm going to drop everything just to save her from risk. Because that's what my tattoo says. _Whatever _happens, we are going to protect each other. That was branded with ink; branded with my love. This just shall only be a simulation. It _has _to be.

The Dauntless gathered around the chasm was the first thing that I saw when I reach the Pit. This is where I stand motionless for a fraction of seconds, watching the reactions on each of their faces, listening to the things that they hiss about. But because I'm still under the circumstance of being deaf, I couldn't shape any word they say. Lauren didn't lie. These people wouldn't be here if nobody dared to jump off the chasm. Lauren wouldn't also waste her time on looking for me if she was just planning to throw some trick and she wouldn't use Tris' name to scare the hell out of me.

With sweaty palms, I finally amble forward and I had a better sense of what they are saying. There is this duo of girls whose arms are linked and are trying to lower their voices as they talk.

"I just saw her the other day along with her friends." The first girl says. "I didn't think that that would be the last time that I'm going to see her."

"Do you know why she committed suicide?"

"I heard she was depressed."

This sends a fist into my stomach that for a while, I find it hard to swallow.

"But I'm not sure if that's true."

I insert myself onto the crowd, nudging elbows with people I pass by. I try to search for a sign that one or two of Tris' friends are present so, at some extent, I wouldn't feel like I'm the only one hurting for the sudden loss. However, because Tris is the only one appearing in my mind, every person I see seems to be her. Every mimic of her face has different sorts of emotions that suddenly bring me back to the days when she jumped onto the net, when I threw knives at her, when she has beaten Molly, when she first said that she loves me, when she brought me to her fear landscape, when she told me she wanted to see my tattoos, and everything else that has left a mark in me.

But when I blink a couple of times, assuming that it could wake me up in this dream, the replicas of Tris' face were gone. The people's faces didn't really change at all. _It was just me. _It was just me who's on the delusion that none of these is real when in fact, I now stand a few inches apart from the railings. All I have to do is to approach it, hold on tight, and look down the chasm to find Tris dead beneath the rocks. The idea of doing it makes me sick that for a moment, I thought I may pass out. It's like the first time of holding a pistol on my hand. It's like me being asked to shoot the bullet target two years ago but because I was scared, I was having second thoughts if I'm going to follow.

The only difference now is that this is the person I love being the subject, not the gun nor the bullet target. This is me having the urge yet at the same time, _fear _to take a step closer to the railings. But I _have _to. And so I will.

Gradually, trying to pull a casual face, I amble toward the railings. It was hard for me to do it lately but once I've got my hands held on it, it felt like a bit of a feat. My knuckles almost turn white with how firm I'm holding. I can feel my heart skipping a beat as I moisten my lips nervously and as I give myself a second to think if I really want to see her dead body. I just don't think I could afford it. I don't think I'll be brave enough to witness it through my own eyes without having a lurch of pain and guilt. Because even before Lauren announced the news, I knew I was already in pain.

"Her boyfriend _dumped_ her that's why she jumped." I hear someone says behind me. "I saw them fighting about two weeks ago and I could tell that it was serious."

"Why did he dump her?"

"That's what I don't know. But she was so upset and it seemed as if she couldn't take it anymore. Perhaps she no longer knew what to do so – there. She just ended her life."

With what I've heard from my back, I was fired with more guilt. It's sort of provoking hearing them gossip about Tris but at the same time, they were also right. I _left _Tris. She was the one trying to explain, trying to keep us together and I was this some piece of ass who accused her as a liar and a cheater and didn't _even _believe a word that she said. But why is it now that I've collected my thoughts and I'm ready to take her back, she left me with no chance?

The Dauntless prolong on hissing to one another behind me. I tighten my hold on the railings and pretend as if I cannot hear them. Then finally, after swallowing hard, I had the nerve to tilt my head below just to figure that this is _not _simulation at all. A body printed with blood collaborated with the flowing water of the river, lies there by the rocks. Its gauntness and the blonde hair simply indicate it all: I just lost _her_. I know it'd be kind of silly for me to be mad at her but I am. I knew her as for being the Tris who wouldn't think of doing something like this. I knew her for being someone who considers jumping off the chasm as cowardice. She was even pissed by Eric who declared Al, who also ended his life in here, as someone brave. She _knew _that there was a fine line between bravery and idiocy. And because she did, she shouldn't have jumped. But as I continue to stare down on her body, it strikes me like lightning that she has done it already, there's no turning back. That thought suddenly makes the ache go deeper.

Until the time comes that I can't tolerate being here anymore and I want to leave. My palms went red when I released them from the railings but it's nothing compared to the blood that has marked Tris. Trying to fight the urge of crying, I turn away from the chasm with curled fists. I move out from the crowd who remains gathered around the dead point to find some space wherein I could breathe some air.

Once I've found one that's somehow tolerable, I linger there for a while. It's not surprising for me that the fist in my throat, as well as the scorching twinge in my stomach, hasn't left. Even after seeing the dead body through my own vision, I'm still stuck in the moment. It almost feels like I've been both stabbed and shot at the same time. It hurts, I admit, and it's _too_ much. I thought the chasm was my sounding board and I thought it's soothing but only today I've realized that like human, it also betrays. It _betrayed _me. It killed her. It ruined everything.

"Four?" a sudden voice has approached. "Are you alright?"

Priscilla watches me with regard through the corner of my eye. Before turning to her, I first asked myself the same question and I got a no for an answer. What was anybody expecting anyway? That after losing someone special, I'm just _fine_?

"She's gone." I mumble. "She's… dead."

"Who?" She steps closer to me. "Who's dead?"

I turn to face her. "Haven't you heard Lauren? Haven't you heard what she said?"

"Four, I—"she bites her lower lip. "I'm afraid I don't understand you. What's going on?"

I'm tired of people being like this, you know. To me it's just so ridiculous when they try to tell you that everything will be okay through the way of pretending that nothing has just happened. It doesn't just make sense and it doesn't work. I saw the body, _I saw it_. Even the figure was precise, even the people I've heard were talking about it. What else is there to point out?

"Priscilla, I'm not joking." I say. "Screw that charade."

She shakes her head. "I'm not joking. I – I can't even understand what you're saying."

"Tris is dead, Priscilla!" I fairly screamed. "She just jumped off the chasm."

Her jaw falls open. "W – what?"

"Do I still have to repeat it?"

"No, I mean – how could that happen? I just saw her. She was on her way here."

My brows furrowed and I thought I would have something to response. I, however, fell silent. How is it possible that Priscilla has seen Tris _real _and _alive_? She was at the bottom of the chasm, her flesh ripped out, and her face white. Am I the one who doesn't know what the hell has been going on all this time?

Just then, I try to flashback to the moment when Lauren surprisingly burst in of the training room. If I rewind the sequence of events, I might comprehend these better and I'd be able to relate to what Priscilla was saying.

"_God, Four." Lauren flew a hand over her head. "I didn't know that this is where I'm going to find you." _

_I and Priscilla exchanged looks of wonder before I turned to Lauren to ask, "Why? Is something wrong?" _

"_Yes, there is." She said firmly. "Alexis."_

_The way Lauren mentioned her name suddenly made me shudder and I felt my palms beginning to sweat as though I can already sense what she's about to announce._

_"What about her?" the tense in my voice almost make me croak. Lauren swallows hard and she escapes a big sigh before breaking the ice to say,_

_"She jumped off the chasm."_

For a moment, my heart begins to slow down and the lurch in my stomach swings away bit by bit. It's only when I tried to listen closer to Lauren's voice in my head that I realized I heard her _wrong_. _**Alexis jumped off the chasm. **_The name was _Alexis_, not Tris. It also hits me that Lauren was calling out for me when I instantly ran out of the training room and I left her wondering with Priscilla what made me so worried about Alexis, a girl I _barely_ know.

It must be because I've spent a couple of nights thinking about Tris and she was the one that I and were Priscilla were talking about before Lauren came to reveal the news. She has been the only thing running the circles in my mind that recently, everything seems to be about her. I didn't know that I care about her this much that I almost run out of breath just to reach the Pit – just to find out that I've mistaken Lauren's given detail.

Priscilla gives me a teasing smile. "I got it. You thought it was Tris, didn't you? You thought she was—"

"Dead." I mumble. "She isn't, right?"

Priscilla's smile has broadened as she peeks over my shoulder. "_There _she is."

I turn around on tenterhooks and again, my heart skips a beat. But now it's for a better reason. From a few inches apart, I saw her standing on her tiptoes, trying to have a look of the current scenario. During that certain instant that I'm watching her, all I could feel is an unbelievable leap of joy. All I could want is to scratch the distance within us so I could bring her in my arms. And all I could ask for is _nothing_. Nothing else.

"Tris?" I call out. "Tris."

She stands back to her feet just when she heard her name being called. She whirls her head around, finding where the voice came from. When her eyes have caught sight of me, she suddenly freezes with a jaw fell open.

"T – Tobias?"

"Yes." I begin to walk closer, bit by bit. "It's me."

There was a slow-motioned moment within us that gives me a better view of her short hair than the last time I saw it. It's both relieving and breathtaking to know – to _see _– that here she is, walking before me, alive and all the same – the same girl I fell in love to. I could also tell by the way she looks at me that we're identically thinking. It's written all over her face that in any second, she might burst into tears.

Then finally, when the distance has closed, I haul her in my arms and she begins to sob against my shirt. The sound of her crying suddenly makes me ache for I never thought that I missed her _damn _much. The way she tightens her hold on my waist hasn't allowed me anymore to hold back the tears. They stream down my cheeks, carrying both joy and pain.

"I thought I lost you." I mumble against her hair. "I was _so _scared to death, Tris. I was so scared."

"I missed you." She moaned. "I missed you so much."

She leans back to look up to me with swollen eyes and a series of tears that continuously fall. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't intend to—"

"Shhh." I bend down to glue my forehead on hers. "_I'm _sorry. I should have believed you. I should have trusted you more than I should. It was my fault, okay? I'm sorry."

"You know that I love you, right?" she says between hiccups. "You know that, right?"

"I do." I whisper. "I'm also sorry if I doubted that."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I lock my gaze onto hers. "So much, Tris."

A broad smile crosses her face at the midst of crying and she drags my mouth against hers. Our tears fall into place – right there within our lips – where I take gentle control of the kiss, savoring the taste that I've missed. I then frame her face with my hands, making it easier for her to response in my kisses. It was the sort of moment when things finally appeared much clearer to me and when I figured that after all, I know one thing for sure:

I will _never _let her go again.

**A/N:**

**I was reading your reviews for Chapter 63 this morning and I admit, I was smiling like an idiot. I was also excited to give you this chapter because it seemed to me that you all thought I killed Tris! Now you all realize that I was just being a big troll, ehehehe. It also just occurred to me that it's already April 1****st**** here in my country so well, that means to say it's APRIL FOOLS DAY and the cliffhanger that I left on the previous chapter served as my trick to all of you. *smirks* **

**But really, this chapter is my favorite after Chapter 27. I hope you liked it and I hope it has given you joy at some extent. (: **

**One chapter left. Let's all meet at the last page! (:**

**The Cliffhanger Freak,**

**Iris Molefoursted**


	65. Chapter Sixty Five

**A/N:**

**Sincerely dedicated to all of you. (:**

**** Theme song for this chapter: "**_**Be Your Everything" **_**by **_**Boys Like Girls**_

**Chapter Sixty Five: Brave and Wild**

_**Three years later…**_

**Tris' POV**

"Do you think this suit me better?" Christina slants herself before the floor mirror to have a look of the fabric on her back. "I like the design but… I have a feeling that I'm going to itch during the entire ceremony."

I and Priscilla sit next to each other on Christina's bed as we watch her fit each of the three wedding gowns that she has chosen. The first one that she wore was an Empire wedding gown that's applicable for many body contours. It naturally has a high waistline and a seam that's just underneath the bust. The fabric below the waist that falls gracefully to the floor makes me more favor of it than the current A-Line gown that she's wearing.

"I like the previous one than that." I wrinkle my nose. "It was just simple but it'd allow you to move at ease and it's pleasing to the eye."

Christina gestures to Priscilla to hear her opinion. "What do you think?"

Priscilla surveys Christina from head to toe as though checking if the gown will enhance through giving Christina a different hairdo. I'm no expert with this kind of stuff but I would agree with Priscilla that the hair can do so much to make the gown appear more appealing than it is. Habituated as a Candor, Christina lifts her chin by some means with a watchful gaze as she waits for Priscilla to finalize her observation.

"So – you also like the first one?" she asks.

"Uh…" from the bottom of the gown, Priscilla gradually shift her eyes to Christina. "How about you try the last one first?"

Christina blows a big sigh that flies a long strand of hair against her cheek. "Yeah… right. I forgot there's one more gown left." She lazily ambles toward the third gown settled on the bed beside Priscilla. We aren't lasting for an hour yet here in her apartment, helping her out with the gown she'd wear for her wedding, but it seems to me that Christina's already having the sensation of pressure on which gown will she choose. I thought bride-to-be's are supposed to be excited during the process of trying on the wedding gowns but seeing Christina flushing like tomato – and not to mention her muddled hair lifted into a bun – makes me wonder what kind of sentiment does she feel about getting married.

"Are you sick or… what?" I ask as she picks up the third gown. "You don't seem thrilled like you should be."

"C'mon," Priscilla follows Christina's motions when she walks back in front of the floor mirror. "Your wedding is in less than three weeks. Doesn't that sound great?"

Again, Christina blows a sigh. "It's not that. I'm just – you know, bothered about what Will would think about me when I finally wear the gown that I will choose. Marriage is just once in a lifetime. When I walk into the aisle, I want it to be… perfect. Not literally perfect but – I want to be the kind of bride who'd feel beautiful during her own wedding not because of the gown's fabric or anything but rather because… because of the way her husband-to-be would look at her." She hangs the third gown on her forearm with no idea of trying it on then turns to face me and Priscilla with a frown.

"Hey, cheer up." Priscilla demands. "Of course Will would like you in whatever gown you wear. It won't make him change his mind once he finally sees you walking in the aisle. And once you reach that point, all you would have to do is to focus on him because during that precious moment, his opinion is the only thing that would matter."

"And don't throw yourself to such pressure." I remark. "The gown doesn't have your future in its hands. It's _just _a gown. It wouldn't be the center of attention of the event. It's _you_, Chris. You and Will."

Her eyes light up on some extent followed by a small jerk of smile. She tucks the long strand of hair behind her ear and turns to face the mirror again.

"Thanks for saying that Pris and Tris." The change of tone on her voice indicates that we have convinced her. "It's my first time. I had no idea before how this would feel like but now I do. It's… exciting… terrifying… fulfilling… all at the same time."

"Well…" Priscilla twitches the corner of her lips. "Good for you. Getting married is one of the best things that could happen to any woman."

Christina glances at us but I'm the only one who meets her gaze. Priscilla's mood suddenly changes as she stares onto the door of the room that instantly gives me the idea to tease her.

"Isn't Brent proposing yet?"

The quick switch of subject interests Christina so she reaches for a stool across the room and sits nearby the bed. Three years ago, Priscilla has experienced one of the romantic things that a man could do to a woman. She used to think that Brent had no special feelings for her like what she has for him until he has proven her wrong. Around of the several Dauntless members at the midst of the Pit, Brent did his public courtship for Priscilla. He knelt down before her with a ring on his hand and he slides it onto her delicate finger with the words that have caused for her to flush.

"I was hesitant before to confess how I feel for you because I kind of suck on things like that especially when it comes to you. But – but now, I've decided to take some leap. I love you Priscilla Campbell and I want you to be my girlfriend."

It seems to me that Priscilla has remembered the same thing as she stares down the finger that wears the ring with a thoughtful smile. "Maybe he isn't prepared for marriage yet. And – besides, I was the one who told him that I still want us to explore more things before we decide to settle down."

"That's a good choice." I say. "You could use further time to spend with each other."

"And who knows?" Christina leans forward with her usual level of enthusiasm. "Maybe the way he'd propose to you is going to be more romantic than how he asked you to be his girlfriend. Boys like to surprise us sometimes."

This sort of conversation varies my thoughts to Tobias with the query, _does he also think of getting married someday? _Or _is he longing to build and raise a family with me in the future? _There have been a few times during the previous years of being with Tobias that I had that kind of idea. But then, sooner, I realized that having a family is _more _than just an idea. It could be a desire or an obligation or _both_. In my case, it's both. I just don't know if I and Tobias are identically thinking.

"Hey, why are you quiet so suddenly?" Priscilla nudges my elbow. "Thoughts?"

"Let me guess." Christina taps her chin with a smirk. "You're also wondering when Four is going to propose to you… aren't you?"

"Of course not!" Thank goodness I've reacted immediately. "Whatever, Chris."

"Oh _c'mon_!" Christina flies a hand on her forehead then angles her palm open. "Why won't you just admit it? Look! You're blushing! You're blushing!"

"Stop it!" I reach for anything on the bed and when my hand find something soft, I seize it so I could smack it onto Christina's face but she begins shielding herself with her gown followed by a series of laughter that was then joined by Priscilla.

"Guilty!" Priscilla says.

"Stop it you two!"

I bring the pillow down to my hips when I find myself laughing with them finally. Christina lets the skirt of her gown to fall on the floor then inclines to me just to make me shriek like a barn owl through tickling my waist. The next thing I know, I'm already rolling back and forth on the bed, screaming on the top of my lungs, as Christina and Priscilla join forces to tickle me on every part that I'm ticklish. At one second my tummy is their target, and then the next second after, Christina has recalled that I yelp louder on the back of my feet.

And so I start throwing up my legs once their fingers trace horizontal lines altogether on the back of my feet and I heard the two of them laughing like retarded seals when they have stopped tricking me and when I have gone hushed on the bed, hugging my tummy.

"I wonder if Four knows you're ticklish on those parts." Christina says as she tumbles her ass on the stool she was recently sitting at. "I bet he would tickle you that way once you get into a honeymoon."

"Or maybe worse." Priscilla eyes Christina then me. "You know…"

And just when laughter fills the room again, the door begins to sound with a knock; a hard, precise sort of knock against the wood that causes for us to fall silent.

"Who's that?" Priscilla murmurs, glancing at the door.

I sit back on the bed with a pillow on my hips then make a guess. "Will, maybe?"

With eyes like a tarsier's, Christina flies a hand to cover her mouth with a gasp, "He couldn't see me dressed like this!"

Christina peeks over her shoulder and the knock repeats, this time more slow and firm. She instantly stands from where she seats and hurries to her cabinet to change.

"Hey, are we sure that's Will?" Priscilla questions.

"Who else would knock on my door?" Christina pulls a hanger of random pairs of clothes. "Al? He came to haunt me? Go check the calendar if it's Halloween."

"Ha-ha." I set the pillow aside and take a volunteer stand. "I'll go and check it." The knock repeats for the third time when I'm about to reach the door and finally, to boost the mystery of the person outside, I open it.

"Hey."

I tilt my head back in the unexpected arrival of Tobias who got me staring dumbfounded as if Christina was right that Al was knocking on her door. I also felt my cheeks starting to embarrass me again through blushing with the fact that Tobias stands before me, giving my stomach a wild roller coaster ride, although I've seen him for like a hundred times already.

"Are you alright?" he inclines his head to have a better study of my silence.

"Uh – yes, of course." I glance over my shoulder and finds Christina and Priscilla giving me a teasing grin which I take as their sign of saying, _maybe that's what you've been waiting for! He's going to propose! _But I roll their eyes on them then turn back to Tobias who's watching me suspiciously.

"Nothing." I hold onto the knob as I pull the door by some means so Christina and Priscilla wouldn't hear our conversation. "We were just helping Christina with her choice of gown. You know… for the wedding. But don't tell Will about it, okay? Christina doesn't want to let him know yet."

"Sure." He nods. "So – for how much longer is it going to take you? Are you about done?"

"I'm not sure. She hasn't chosen anything yet. Why do you ask?"

"Well…" he brings his hands in his pockets. "I thought of taking you to the…" He's about to continue his statement but he just cut it there and pull out a sort of expression that's hard to read. "I'll just wait for you by the trains. Meet me there when you're done."

"Where are we going?"

He chuckles. "You think I'm going to tell you? It's a surprise."

A duo of giggles interrupted me on what I'm about say. When I look over my shoulder for the second time, I caught Christina and Priscilla trying to communicate with me through facial terms. Christina makes a face of a person struck by Mr. Cupid's arrow while Priscilla rakes all of her fingers onto her hair with a followed lip-biting. To keep myself from laughing about how hilarious they are, I just shut my eyes and turns back to Tobias with a jerk of smile on my lips.

"Something's funny?" he asks.

_Focus, focus. _I shake my head. "Uh – nothing. So… I'll meet you by the trains later?"

"Yeah." He takes a step back. "I'll see you."

I thought he would already leave judging by his recent action so I gesture of coming back inside. But not like what I was expecting, he steps a closer to me and seizes me by the waist, causing for my hand to drop from the doorknob. He bends down his head and crashes his mouth against mine. I haven't parted my lips immediately since his actions were unidentified thus he teases me a little by touching the tip of his tongue to my lips. Once I begin responding to his kisses, I encircled my arms around his neck and savor how sweet he tastes like. He then deepens the kiss, having me tilt my head back, and by the midst of it, he begins smiling against my lips.

I run my fingers onto his hair, taking tender control of the kiss. When it has soften in a while, it suddenly strikes to me that Christina and Priscilla might be watching us all this time. The thought makes me pull away, resting a palm on his chest. I look up to him and wrinkle my nose. "I can't wait to see where you're going to take me."

He pinches my nose playfully. "I'm sure you're going to like it."

I hold him by the wrist and glide my hand to his. Our fingers intertwine to one another perfectly as if it was meant to be. "I love you." I mutter.

"Say that again?"

I giggle. "I said I love you."

With holding hands, he leans to me one last time and leaves a peck on my lips. "I love you too." Then he slowly pulls away and let go of me. He begins walking backwards, mouthing to me the reminder of meeting him by the trains with a few arm movements gesturing directions. I response through a sign language saying yes I'm coming until he has gone from my sight and I have to go back inside the room.

Once I step inside and shut the door behind me, Christina surprises me by squeaking matched with a jump. "What did he say?! What did he say?!"

They both wait for me to response with expectant eyes and broadened grins. I give them a little tease by revealing the details every once in a while.

"Well…"

"What?"

"He said he's going to take me… somewhere. I – I asked him about it but he didn't tell me. It's a surprise."

Christina holds me on the forearms and hauls me forward. She leans her face closer to mine where her voice becomes solid. "I can already sense what he has planned for you."

"Really…" I say, intrigued. "Don't tell me, then. I want to be surprised."

She releases me and begins the series of giggles again. Even Priscilla has been quite influenced by Christina's humor which, of course, I don't consider as a bad thing. In fact, I'm glad to have them as the friends whom I can reveal my silliness to. But when it comes to the terms of talking about Tobias, it appears that they're more thrilled than I am.

"So – what else are you waiting for?" Priscilla asks. "Won't you meet him yet?"

"He told me that he'd be waiting by the trains."

"And?"

"And I said I'll come when we're done choosing you a gown for the wedding."

Christina rolls her eyes. "Screw that. Don't mind about the gown. I've already decided to wear the first one. You were right. It's simple yet it's pleasing."

"You sure?"

"I am!" she exclaims. "Don't make him wait for too long! Meet him now!"

Xxxx

**Tobias's POV**

A blend of beige and blue colors the twilight sky as I wait for Tris at the pavement by the trains. I watch the cotton of clouds slowly turning dark; some are covering one another, while some are biding goodbye. As I notice how those happen, I realize it's funny how you can connect their cycle to how your life evolves throughout the years. It's like the clouds are the either good or bad memories that have happened, the sky is the people who've been a part of the journey, and the colors are _us_, who painted the previous years as years of worth living.

Within the three years that have passed, I figured that there are a lot of things that I could do and I could change; that I could be any better from the flaws that I have committed. These include my connection with the people who have helped me and Tris to comprehend how much we mean to each other more than we knew, people who have been a witness of our ups and downs and have been a support. You couldn't really believe how fast time flies not until you look back and see the variation of everything. You also wouldn't appreciate all of these if you do not begin with yourself.

At the midst of doing some flashback, I hear small footsteps coming behind me. I tilt my head on shoulder length, turn my back completely, and find Tris walking toward me with a smile has also changed through the years.

"Am I late?" she asks once she's reached me. I glance on my watch. "Ten minutes."

"Do you mind?"

"Not really. Has Christina chosen what gown she'd wear?"

"Yeah, she has." She breathes a sigh and pulls out another smile. "So – shall we… go?"

"We're jumping." I whirl around and the trains are just about to come as though it's by coincidence. "On three."

She moves herself beside me and we both waited for the trains to come a little nearer. I mutter the count in a way that she's able to hear and once I said three, the trains pass before us and we jump inside together. Tris holds onto the railing to have her balance supported while I grasp for the doors so I won't stumble. When we're already steady, she stands opposed to me by the doors and we watch the landscape outside as the trains bring us to the heart of the city.

The evening wind blows her hair thus she tucks every strand of it behind her ear. It might only be one of her few familiar gestures that I've seen several times already but until now, it still has a way of grabbing my attention. Her solemn face as she focuses on the outer scenario also has the ability of sweeping me off my feet over and over again. And I think, no – I _believe_, although a multiple more years come in the near future… that feeling would never go away.

A series of moments later, the sight of the Ferris wheel finally shows up before my vision. I turn to Tris and she's still quiet, watching the trees we pass by. My motion of straightening myself from leaning sideways suddenly catches her attention that she turns to face me. "Are we here?"

She was about to peek over her shoulder to have a hint of where we are but I immediately instruct her with, "Don't look." because I still want it to be a surprise. And so she obeyed. Once the trains are coming nearby to the carnival, I get myself on the jumping stance. This brings Tris to do the same.

"On three, okay?" I remind her. She merely nods.

After the first duo of counts and the delayed third count, we jump out of the train car with force. I landed on my feet and so did Tris. The Ferris wheel is now just a few walk away and with its constant height, it would be immediate for Tris to find out where I brought here. Thus, before she could lift her head from shaking off her shoes, I got my hands covered before her eyes.

"Hey," she tries to take my hands away but doesn't succeed. "Where are we?"

I lean closer to her ear and murmurs, "You'll see."

"Uh – yeah? I forgot you said it's a surprise."

I chortle. "Right. Now, go and start walking. I'm just right here behind you."

Tris obeys and I follow every step she takes. The surface of shattered pieces of rocks beneath our feet, I suppose, doesn't even give any clue of what place is this. The last time Tris has gone here was about eight months ago already when we, as Four and Six, instructed the new bunch of initiates on how to play Capture the Flag. She's left the job on the tattoo parlor so she'd be able to work with me as an instructor. And, not so long ago, she was asking me if we could visit this carnival again some other time – only I wasn't paying much attention. It's not because I didn't want to grant her wish but rather because I had a better objective of bringing her here.

And that would be happening _tonight_.

"Are we there yet?" she asks excitedly.

"Almost." I say.

Finally, after a minute of stumbling on the fragments of rocks, we have reached the midpoint of the carnival where the Ferris wheel stands tall. On its façade is a massive space that could fit a crowd but as for now, it's only me and Tris. My hands remain shielding her eyes as I whirl my head around, searching for Brent and company's sign. They have arrived here before I and Tris did. Now I'm looking for them because they have an important role to play in this set-up that I have planned.

"Why did we stop?" she asks.

"Uh – give me a second."

I whirl my head around again with expectant eyes that I'd see someone from the four of them. Fortunately, I thought of checking the technical room nearby the Ferris wheel and there I find Brent, Zeke, Uriah and Will, watching the two of us.

Brent raises a thumb with a questioning expression that I take as his sign of asking me if everything is already settled. I replace my left hand with the right one to raise a thumb back to him. He instantly understands my gesture thus he and company begins working on the part they volunteered to do.

"Everything's okay?" Tris inquires. "Tobias?"

"Everything's fine, Tris." I assure her. "We're here."

"Really? I – I didn't know. I thought we'd walk more."

And just when I've finally decided that it's time to conform her excitement, I gradually release the shield before her eyes and the Ferris wheel begins to run with matching different colors of lights from each cart. She's asked me for a couple of times before why the lights of the Ferris wheel aren't functioning anymore. She was wondering if there's anything that could be done so they would work again for she finds the Ferris wheel more fascinating when it's bright.

The lights aren't even really wrecked. People just got used with the daily basis of seeing it dull and dead since they hardly like the idea of going here in the carnival to enjoy the rides. The Dauntless, likewise, only stumbles upon this place during Capture the Flag. Other than that, there're no more reasons. So you see… it's once in a blue moon. They see no motive to open the lights if nobody would even come here and see them.

"_God…_" Tris says under her breath. "This is… beautiful."

I watch her as she follows the motion of every cart rotating counterclockwise. The flicker of awe and joy that she has on her eyes causes for my heart to sink like a ship, not because something hurts but rather because she's both terrifying and breathtaking to stare at. No enough words by any man could give justice on how she makes me feel every time. Each sliver of her soul seems to be destined to mine.

And as though she can sense my scrutiny, she turns to face me with a broad grin that could almost reach up to her ears. "The lights still work!"

I chuckle. "They never stopped working, Tris. Did you know that they have remained dead for about six years now?"

The grin has faded and her jaw falls open. "No way."

"It's true." I glance up the Ferris wheel. "The reason why they're as bright as that is because they're pleased to be opened once _again_."

She falls silent for a while, hanging on every word I recently said.

"You mean to say… after those years, they're only opened once again… _tonight?_"

A smile jerks on the corner of my lips. "That's right. I have them opened for you. I know that you've been dying to see them shine that way and you kept on wondering if they still function. Well they still do. Like what I said, they didn't stop at all."

"Thank you." She warmly says. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I'd say you're welcome." I hold her gaze. "But I wouldn't have surprised you like that without some help."

"Who helped you, then?"

I motion my eyes over her shoulder. "Them."

She whirls around and there she finds Brent along with Zeke, Uriah and Will at the window of the technical room, waving at her with matched exaggerated grins. Tris waves back laughing and yells "thank you" that they sure heard behind the distant window.

"So – you want to climb?"

The question brings her to turn back at me. "Climb, you said?"

"Well…" I amusingly watch the rotating carts. "I think I want to."

"I _definitely _want, too."

I regard her with enthusiasm. "You take the lead, then."

"Alright."

She begins ambling toward the Ferris wheel while I follow her behind, examining how tall this thing is although I've checked on it several times already. During the past three years, I've helped myself, by some means, to conquer my fear of heights. I could tell that jumping down the net has been a little benefit but climbing the Ferris wheel is still another story. The intensity that it has which makes me sweat whenever I look below is still pretty insane; thus, I'm going to climb tonight because like Tris, I've come to like the urgent energy that it could give as you are on air.

I waited until she's high enough so we won't be intersecting. Once she has climbed about four rungs, I begin following her. I catch up to her swiftly, seizing each rung that her feet leave. Sooner or later, however, giddiness starts firing at me. I hold onto a rung for a portion of seconds to exhale a big breath while Tris continues her way up. When I've relaxed a little, I go back to business.

"I missed this." She says as I get nearer to her. "Why did you want to climb, by the way?"

"I've got to tell you something." My voice is barely clear under the series of breaths that I do yet she still heard me.

She continues to climb, peeking over her shoulder to see me. "Up _there_? You're going to tell me something up there?"

"Yes." I simply answer; too much detail could give a hint.

She hauls herself closer to the bars when the wind makes an attack. This brings me back to the first time we did this. I was anxious that she might miss a bar and have a falling-from-a-cliff episode since she was smaller during that year. She got me sick watching every motion she did for it seemed as though she can fall anytime. But she has proven me wrong. Until now, she's still best friends with heights.

After a minute or two of climbing, we finally managed to get to the plat form. Tris then settles herself to an edge to give me some room. Due to gasping for air from the exertion, I lean my back to the wall so I'd be able to ease myself.

"Look at the stars." She tells me.

Only when I stare up the sky I realize that the beige and blue hues were replaced by different shades of gray, making the stars visibly striking. The word brings me to turn to Tris, who's _as _striking as the constellations. I trace the direction of her gaze to find out to which constellation is she staring at since it seems to me that even the simple things like that indicate something meaningful to her.

"Summer Triangle?" I guess. She nods. "It's the first constellation that I always see when I look up the sky."

I study her expression for a moment then I release my back from the wall. I move to the edge where she is with caution for one reckless mistake will lead me to fall and die. She turns to me once she felt my presence beside her and the sort of look that she gives suddenly reminds me of _why _I truly brought her here.

"You said you've got something to tell me, right?" she asks.

"Right." I say. "Give me a second."

I touch the pocket of my jeans to assure if the box I've kept there is still present. I bought it about two days ago and buried it in my pocket even before I came to Christina's apartment this afternoon. I was walking backwards as I left so Tris wouldn't notice the squared figure in my ass. _The red velvet box._

Her eyes widen with surprise once I pull out a silver ring with a stenciled pattern of _**4 & 6**_. I hold the ring with my right hand as the other one takes the box back in my pocket. I caught sight of how many layers this Ferris wheel has that in any moment, this ring that I'm holding might tumble down the basement. But when I finally meet Tris' gaze that's holding back a sequence of tears, the anxiety quitted.

"Beatrice Prior," I hold the ring significantly before her. "Throughout the years that would come, we're going to undergo more struggles… struggles that…" I didn't rehearse this well so when a tear streams down from her left eye, I kind of lost focus. "That would test us… our trust and… love for each other. But I… I want you to know that no matter… no matter how many struggles those are… I'm not going to let go. We'd face them and… and overcome them together."

At the midst of tears pouring down her cheeks, a smile has crossed her face. A smile that, I'm certain, I'm going to see for a hundred more years.

"Will you marry me?"

I've been imagining myself saying that line for weeks now with the thought that I might not be able to verbalize it perfectly. But now that I've said it as clear as glass, the only thing that's keeping me on an edge is what her answer's going to be.

"Yes." Her voice's almost a whisper due to the tears. Yet, the second time she says it, there was more willingness and oath. "_Yes, _I'm going to marry you Tobias Eaton."

She wipes the tears with the back of her left hand while I take the right one as if it's a brittle wineglass. With everything that we've been through and with everything else that we'd surpass, I slide the ring onto her middle finger. That is, because, we are _invincible _and we have something brave and wild.

She moves her hand, staring adoringly on the ring. Her lips curve into a grin when she sees the stenciled pattern of _**4 & 6**_.

"Four and Six." She mutters.

"_Us_." I remark.

She then turns to regard me with eyes being shadowed through a shattered glass as if the word _forever _is written on their iris. I slowly lean forward, making Tris shift her gaze from my face to my lips. The moon begins to peek behind the thick cotton of clouds once there's only a small distance left as though it's longing to watch us.

And finally, the moment our lips met, the carts of the Ferris wheel stop running and all the lights turned off.

Well done, Brent and company.

**A/N:**

**Thanks Maryannah (formerly jealoustobias) for sharing your idea about this chapter. (:**

**Okay guys, I can now FREAK OUT. I began working on this chapter at 12 noon yesterday and I stopped by 7:30 p.m. and decided to just continue it the next day since it's been 7 hours of punching the keys of the keyboard; I was tired. Then I woke up today by 10:30 a.m. but I've started typing at 12 noon (again) and now it's 7:48 p.m. here in my country and all I could feel is a HUGE LEAP OF JOY!**

**Gosh. Among the chapters that I have written, this is the longest! It's so rewarding and I couldn't believe it's done and I think I might jump and scream until the neighbors ask me to shut up. :DD**

**I'm sooooo happy! **

**Please tell me what you think. :D**

**-Iris Molefoursted**

**P.S.: I'm going to post a message for all of you tomorrow. (:**


	66. My Message for the Readers

**As promised, this is my message for all of you (probably my last author's note).This might be a little long because I really have **_**a lot **_**to say and to be thankful for so, here goes… (:**

**Dear Readers,**

First and foremost, I know I've said this for a couple of times already but still, I'm going to say it: _**Thank you**__. _This story would have been nothing without your support. Thank you for reviewing, for following me and my work, and for adding this story to one of your favorites. I'd also like to send big thanks to my best friend, Julla Lopez, who's been supportive of what I was doing and for sharing some of her ideas in this story that have put more thrill for all of you to read. She also writes songs for the stories that I do and you can hear from her on soundcloud, her username's _kathblazes._ I love you friend!

To tell you all honestly, at first, I wasn't really planning to make a fan fiction for _Divergent_. I was just this "obsessed" fan of the book who was craving for more "Fourtris" stuff after I've finished reading the book. I've spent some nights reading any Fourtris story that I find on fanfiction dot net through my phone. My mom and my brother were already sleeping but I was still wide awake, smiling like an idiot while reading a Fourtris fluffy moment. That has been my routine every night before I go to sleep. I would go to fanfiction dot net, scroll down, and when I find an interesting story, I'm going to start reading until 12 a.m. (because I still have school the next day, haha.)

Then one November night, (I think it was November 15, 2012...?), I was so bored. I was surfing the net on the laptop yet I thought I've visited all the sites I frequently go to so I just sat there before the monitor, sighing, not knowing what to do. Then it suddenly struck me: _What if I write my own fan fiction for Divergent? _And once that idea popped into my mind, I was like, _Oh yes! Since I'm not even busy, I'm just going to get my fingers onto the keyboard to boost this boredom!_

But I didn't do the first chapter right away. I first wrote a biography where I introduced myself in a way that I realized was _ridiculous. _It went off as something like this:

_**I'm fascinated by books, intrigued by the unknown, and allured by old music. **_Then blah blah blah. At the end, I wrote: _**So, the reason why I joined here is because I want to write a story about Four and Tris. And that is what you can expect from me. So… friends?**_And in the current time being, whenever I remember that that was my first bio, I'm always like, _**WHAT DID YOU SAY ? O.o**_

Anyway, moving on, after writing myself a bio, I finally began writing the first chapter. (_Yay! I'm writing again! It's been a long time!_) Then I posted it and I wasn't expecting to get many reviews. Based on my experience before when I posted my own story online, I only got 3 reviews, so yeah, I told myself not get my hopes up. However, it happened that by 4 a.m., at the midst of sleeping solemnly, I was awakened. It then struck into me that I just posted a story on fanfiction dot net and maybe, just maybe, somebody has reviewed.

And so I checked my phone to see if I got reviews. The moment I saw the tiny speech bubble beside the number _4, _I thought I might SCREAAAAAM. _**Four reviews! Four reviews! Oh my gosh! Everybody, I got four reviews! **_

Then the next morning, I was in good vibes because of the first four reviews so I began doing the second chapter. And it goes on and on and on. But if you want some revelation, I'll tell you this: _This story doesn't really have a plot. I didn't plan any plot. Hell, I planned nothing. _I had no idea on where this story would go. All I know during the time I began doing chapter one is that I was doing it just for fun, just to boost my boredom. Until… I got to the point of _**hey, I think this is working. They like the story. I think I shall continue.**_But truth is, primarily, there really was _no _story. "Way to You" _was _just a piece of scratch from a girl who was freakin' bored. When the support has lengthened, however, because of the people who began reviewing & following, I realized that it really was _working_.

So after about two weeks have passed, I became more serious on doing this fan fiction. I found it enjoyable not just because I love writing but also because it was helping me to enhance my vocabulary where I totally sucked when I was about 10 or 11 years old. And as more weeks passed by of writing **"Way to You",** and I got more support, I _finally _felt the _real pressure_. I reached the point of being afraid to write another chapter because I was having this thought that I might not be able to finish it earlier than 10 p.m. and I was anxious that I might not be able to express what I wanted to say – what something special Four and Tris have.

But then, there was this small voice in my head that kept on telling me, _**Hey kiddo, you began this, FINISH it.**_Or sometimes, _**there are people who're appreciating what you do but what are you doing? You're just sitting there, staring onto nothing, writing nothing. Come on! Do it**__! _And those thoughts were the ones who have helped me to write Tris' fear landscape (Chapters 36 – 39) because truly, those four chapters were the hardest chapters that I've written on the entire story. It was hard because I wanted to capture their emotions, I wanted to make my own version of her fear landscape that would stay true to the book, and I wanted to try something different, but I was on an edge. Still, after posting those four chapters, you guys sent me your feedbacks and you had no idea how _rewarding _it has been for me. That is why, that night, I went to bed with a smile.

I don't think you guys know how a simple feedback from you meant to me. You have helped me to appreciate the art of writing more, to realize that writing is one of the best things that anyone could do. You've given me encouragement and hope to keep doing what I'm doing, even in general. This has been a very wonderful experience. The five months I've spent doing this story have worth because I had readers like all of you who stick with me until the last chapter.

I swear I was really like the **HAPPIEST** person last night when I've finally finished writing Chapter 65. I know it kind of sound ridiculous but the feeling was like, _**you climb the Earth's highest mountain and once you've reached the peak, you see the breathtaking view of the world.**_Knowing that you also liked the ending and re-reading your reviews even from the beginning made everything a lot better. I pretty much enjoyed doing the last chapter although it was sort of difficult. I was glad that by some means, I've expressed how I picture Four and Tris in my mind and have shared it to all of you. But even if I was freaking out last night due to such joy that I've completed the story, I was also sad that it has ended. Throughout the whole process, it seemed to me that I've formed a great bond with the characters that I own and I do not own. I've explored Four, Tris, and the other characters' insights through my own words which I consider as a stepping stone for me to the bigger world of writing.

And now that I've accomplished this story, I decided to take a break first. A month or two, maybe. Then right after that, I'm going to begin _re-writing _the novel that I've written a year ago. It was nothing related to Divergent since dystopia isn't a trend yet when I wrote that. It's a novel under the categories, _Romance/Suspense. _It was written in three notebooks, and I also worked on it for five months. I re-read it about a month ago and I realized that there was huge space for improvements. So, this means to say that I may not be writing fan fiction… for a while. There're a few ideas in my mind that I want to put into pages. They are ideas that have been formed even before I've read _Divergent _and were longing to be written. But although they're my center of attention after this, I want you to know that you're going to be in my mind as I write them. I will bring the inspiration that you have given me and I'm going to convert them to the pages. (:

So to end this message, I'd like to give you my usernames on Twitter & Tumblr if ever you want to keep in touch. I like talking so you could tweet/PM me and let's do some chit-chat! :D My Twitter is _**elaharrigan**_while my tumblr is _**irishowell**__. _

You can call me Ela or Iris, but my real name's Mikaela and people have been habituated to call me "Myka". But whatever you prefer, of course, I'm going to reply. (:

So that is all what I have to say, thank you so much, and if you have a dream but you're in doubt, remind yourself that everything worth having is also worth working hard and waiting for.

Till next time…

The Cliffhanger Freak,

**IRIS**


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